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(Comedy Central) Video Stephen Colbert declares soccer the new American sport. You've been warned   (colbertnation.com) divider line 328
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CaptMacMillian 2009-07-01 09:11:04 PM  
Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.


Plus I know that Ireland and Australia call it soccer as well.

Doesn't matter the name really, only it's superiority :)

 
steamingpile 2009-07-01 09:13:06 PM  
Listerine: It's already played by 6 year olds everywhere

Then by nobody after the age of 12, soccer is not going to catch on in america, its boring, low scoring, and very little action.

/unlike subby's mom

 
Gonz 2009-07-01 09:13:33 PM  
12349876: No sport other than football, car racing, and big golf events hold as many people as an NFL stadium. And NFL stadiums would be quite a bit smaller if they had significantly more than 8 games a year.

By "football", do you mean soccer, or football?

Because most NFL stadiums don't hold as many people as your average SEC football stadium (or the Horseshoe, Big House, or Rose Bowl), and the SEC stadiums are having a big year if they host 7 games in a year.

And golf? HUGE golf galleries are 35,000 fans. Three days of a golf tournament barely fill a large college football stadium.

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-01 09:13:45 PM  
Cheesy Rat: Leave the South sometime sport. It'll do wonders for you, trust me

Hint: go to Seattle; full of douchebags who think that whatever is cool in Europe is automatically cooler than anything America has/does because Americans don't care about it/don't like it.

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2009-07-01 09:16:31 PM  
Gonz: and the SEC stadiums are having a big year if they host 7 games in a year.

Not really, almost all SEC teams host 7 games, and several host 8.

Now, if you'd said something like "Pac-10 teams", you'd be right. Except it's pretty much always only 6 home games, unless maybe they're playing 13 games for the season.

/but that's an argument for another thread.
//I know you were just using the SEC because they have large stadiums and rabid fanbases

 
CaptMacMillian 2009-07-01 09:17:00 PM  
I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

 
zahadum party planner 2009-07-01 09:18:12 PM  
it's not true until he tweets it. then I'll believe it.

 
brainiac-dumdum [TotalFark] 2009-07-01 09:18:38 PM  
Shadowknight: I would love to see America get involved with a world wide competitive sport that everyone else plays, but would be afraid of what it would do when combined with our competitive nature. Look how crazy the hooligans get right now, and then add American fanaticism and national pride to the mix.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.


basketball too, for me at least

 
bushbot111 2009-07-01 09:23:18 PM  
CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!


Calm down buddy. Thinking soccer is boring and wanting it to fail are two different things. Personally it puts me to sleep, but I don't want it to fail in the States. I think watching the riots on TV would be fun.

 
chadagg 2009-07-01 09:23:31 PM  
Remember watching that Will Ferrell movie about soccer?
Me neither.

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 09:24:04 PM  
agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

Wha?

It took me a second to realize you must be talking about hispanics, because soocer in the US has long been a sport for upper-middle class closet racists to support to separate them from the "savages" whoops, I mean "thugs" (that's the term they use now, right?) that have destroyed basketball and football.

 
gambit60 2009-07-01 09:24:53 PM  
mvfreeman:
And that's what they are actually considerung.

/Don't do it
//Football fans should check out Easterbrook's TMQ on ESPN.com


There goes my night. TMQ columns are incredibly entertaining, but they take about half an hour to get through (at least).

 
Wulfman 2009-07-01 09:28:39 PM  
i258.photobucket.com

/approves

 
INeedAName 2009-07-01 09:31:19 PM  
bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.


As a runner and track coach, I hated you people. We could've destroyed ever team in the state if the soccer kids just came out for track.

/Loves soccer also but could never figure out how to run and kick things at the same time...

 
dennysgod 2009-07-01 09:33:49 PM  
pix.motivatedphotos.com

Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 09:34:27 PM  
dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.

 
nlscb 2009-07-01 09:36:29 PM  
How would the world react if the US actually won?
I doubt that we will (though it looks like we have the possibility of stunning some very good teams).

I get the feeling that the entire planet, including some of our closest allies, would be highly offended. It would be like the hatred of us invading Iraq, x 1000.

Why?
BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.

I don't really see a lot of celebrating in the streets outside of latino communities and maybe a little in Boston and NYC.

I can the interviews now on BBC of Americans saying "What's the World Cup?" when asked how they feel about it. "Oh, we won? That's nice."

Given that the final for 2010 is in July, I'd be willing to bet a Yankees-Red Sox game would get higher TV ratings.

Also, NEV4R FORGET!

nbcsportsmedia2.msnbc.com

/I just want America to kick Italy's ass
//I think the rest of the world can support us in that
///yes, I know the US got two red cards which it deserved in the game and tied only because of an italian own goal
////this was on an order of magnitude worse

 
vlakorados 2009-07-01 09:38:00 PM  
HMS_Blinkin: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world.


Oh, so you're on the team? Good job! Great game!

 
D-D-D-Dave 2009-07-01 09:39:06 PM  
Yup, says here, see "metric system"

 
BrotherMalcolm 2009-07-01 09:42:04 PM  
Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004


excellent.

I award you +137 intertube points!

 
nlscb 2009-07-01 09:44:27 PM  
Bill Frist: agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

Wha?

It took me a second to realize you must be talking about hispanics, because soocer in the US has long been a sport for upper-middle class closet racists to support to separate them from the "savages" whoops, I mean "thugs" (that's the term they use now, right?) that have destroyed basketball and football.


Ok. I LOL'd. I am definitely using that line in the future.

 
Cheesy Rat [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-01 09:45:57 PM  
IAmRight: Cheesy Rat: Leave the South sometime sport. It'll do wonders for you, trust me

Hint: go to Seattle; full of douchebags who think that whatever is cool in Europe is automatically cooler than anything America has/does because Americans don't care about it/don't like it.


Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat, just moves from AC bubble to AC bubble. And I never said I don't like American sports - baseball is still my favorite sport (despite the Manures...er...Mariners), and I love college football (doesn't have all the biatch primadonna's of the pro game). Not a big basketball fan, but that's because most basketball players only real claim to fame should be an over-active growth gland - most of them are not good athletes (I know - Lebron and Kobe and a few others are, but they are the exception). I was just calling you out for your borderline racist comment about not hearing any white person talk about it. I'm just saying, get the fark out of the south sometime son, the world (and the US) is a big farking place and your opinion might be more informed if you left the skankin' peach for a while.

 
Strobeguy 2009-07-01 09:46:47 PM  
Lets call soccor what it is....kickball

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 09:50:39 PM  
i41.tinypic.com

 
Shadowknight [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-07-01 09:50:57 PM  
Strobeguy: Lets call soccor what it is....kickball

Sadly, kickball would probably get higher ratings in the US than soccer.

Hell, after watching "Dodgeball," it made me want to turn on the Ocho and watch it.

/you have disrespected the Hasselhoff

 
jimbodahobo 2009-07-01 09:52:45 PM  
gambit60: mvfreeman:
And that's what they are actually considerung.

/Don't do it
//Football fans should check out Easterbrook's TMQ on ESPN.com

There goes my night. TMQ columns are incredibly entertaining, but they take about half an hour to get through (at least).


Some of the longer ones can get to around an hour in my experience. Still a great read.

 
kukukupo 2009-07-01 09:53:17 PM  
Will they sell capri-sun and orange slices at the stadiums?

 
BrotherMalcolm 2009-07-01 09:54:15 PM  
madblader: Football is the most retarded name for RUGBY I have ever heard.

Why? They kick it more often then in US Footbal!

 
sheep_shagger 2009-07-01 09:56:29 PM  
"If you don't like soccer I'll squeeze your balls."

www.stonemeadowicelandicsheep.com

 
BrotherMalcolm 2009-07-01 09:59:13 PM  
vlakorados: HMS_Blinkin: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world.

Oh, so you're on the team? Good job! Great game!


LOSER!

Seriously - fans say "WE" b/c they (we) are the support, and often the funding.

 
Roger Arseways 2009-07-01 09:59:31 PM  
kukukupo: Will they sell capri-sun and orange slices at the stadiums?

rack it

 
steamingpile 2009-07-01 10:00:15 PM  
CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!


No, its just more visible because they have won a few games, either they will keep winning and people will just expect it and not give a shiat or they will go back to losing and people will still not give a shiat in a few months or until football season starts. There is nobody talking about soccer, but I have heard a lot of people talk of not being able to wait until football starts back up, nobody in the states ever anticipate the world cup


Cheesy Rat: Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat,

Hey now, this year its been a lot better, we can actually get cool in the shade!

 
Doc Daneeka 2009-07-01 10:10:02 PM  
dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

The Aussies also call it soccer, because they use "football" to refer to rugby or Aussie Rules.

The Italians call it "Calcio."

The Germans call it "Fußball," and use "Football" to refer to American football.

Who the fark cares what it's called? "Soccer" is an unambiguous term that clearly refers to only one sport, so it's perfectly serviceable as a name. As long as the name is clearly understood in the country where it is used, what does it matter?

 
Remarkable_Anus 2009-07-01 10:10:54 PM  
Good luck with that, Steve.

 
Goodfella 2009-07-01 10:11:46 PM  
I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.

I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.




Seconded, brother. This town is footy city. I'm going to the Sounders-Chelsea and Barcelona games this summer. If we can win the championship a few times, we may get invited to start playing in the Champions League. Ya heard it hear, first.

Go Sounders!

 
Malicoire_ 2009-07-01 10:16:15 PM  
Skinkadink: America's ultimate sport is Triad!

/There must be some way to get out of here...
//not obscure.


Pyramid?

Or are we talking cards?

 
o5iiawah 2009-07-01 10:17:54 PM  
steamingpile: CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

No, its just more visible because they have won a few games, either they will keep winning and people will just expect it and not give a shiat or they will go back to losing and people will still not give a shiat in a few months or until football season starts. There is nobody talking about soccer, but I have heard a lot of people talk of not being able to wait until football starts back up, nobody in the states ever anticipate the world cup


Cheesy Rat: Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat,

Hey now, this year its been a lot better, we can actually get cool in the shade!


The US immediately enters the Gold Cup in a few days, a tournament they should win. Then there's some more WC qualifying. Europe finishes their WC qualifying between sept and October. The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game. ESPN just bought the rights to broadcast La Liga. After the draw there is 6 months of buildup to the WC with important stories about injuries, dressing room rows and friendlies scored.

Face it..its going to be near nonstop soccer for the next year or so.

I have a hard time getting up for the Yankees and Red Sox when they play every 2 and a half weeks.

 
devioustrevor 2009-07-01 10:23:20 PM  
bighasbeen: Ah, that clip didn't have the part where he cut away to "exciting highlights!" of midfielders kicking the ball around. When the clip was over and they cut back to him, he had his head on a pillow and was feigning sleep.

I'm not starting anything, just thought it was funny. That and the doggie baseball league joke.


If I recall correctly that was Argentina and that was part of a sequence of 37 straight successful passes by Argentina that set-up a goal in their 6-0 victory over Serbia.

 
Gonz 2009-07-01 10:29:35 PM  
o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?

 
Xlr8urfark 2009-07-01 10:33:48 PM  
Gonz: o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?


Yes. God bless DVR.

 
o5iiawah 2009-07-01 10:38:25 PM  
Gonz: o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?


I have an attention span longer than the 12 seconds it takes to make a play in the NFL, so yes.

Its possible to follow more than one thing.

 
dennysgod 2009-07-01 10:42:33 PM  
Bill Frist: dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.



Don't try to sound smart, we only call it soccer because we already called "American Football" football so we used a slang term for the game as not to cause confusion, same goes for Australia and parts of Ireland that call it soccer too.

The proper term for the game is Association Football just like the proper term for a panda is actually Ailuropoda melanoleuca so stop calling it a panda.

 
The Voice of Doom 2009-07-01 10:50:52 PM  
nlscb
How would the world react if the US actually won?


The team you beat: disappointed
The loser's rivals: gloat
The rest: congratulate and move on to business as usual, i.e. maybe find some scape goats and prepare to win the next big cup themselves.
Since basically the whole world is competing it's not like that most aren't used to somebody else winning.


I get the feeling that the entire planet, including some of our closest allies, would be highly offended. It would be like the hatred of us invading Iraq, x 1000.


I call bullshiat and say the opposite would happen: BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.
In contrast to popular opinion, the world doesn't always revolve around the US - for example if it's soccer.
Sorry, but just sitting around on your island playing against Cost Rica you haven't built the history and rivalries yet for anybody to care - well, maybe Mexico.

Chances are that for most people it would be a bigger emotional issue who got their butt kicked by the US than that the US won.


BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.

Oh, I bet especially the soccer haters and "America is the best at everything (...that America cares about; if there's someone better at it, it's because America hasn't cared about it)." would ooze smugness all over the place:
"Now we're even the best at soccer. Suck it, world! U-S-A, U-S-A!"
Just look at Fark's retarded soccer threads.

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 10:52:41 PM  
Nah, I think my panda bear analogy was better. Bears have a bunch of different species, but in an area where one is dominant that species might be casually referered to as "bear" while less common species in said area will have a qualifier (grizzly bear, panda bear, whatev).

Similarly, association football is just called football in places where it is dominant, in places hwere it isn't (australia, us, etc.) it is called soccer.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2009-07-01 10:53:18 PM  
Ah America, home to more people who call themselves sports fans than anywhere else. And the second they get to show you how little they care about sports, they'll show you. Sorry but putting down a sport, undoes the whole sports fan thing. And if all you care about is baseball or basketball or football? Then you are a fan of that alone.

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 10:55:36 PM  
Haha, WhyteRaven never misses a change to show what a terrible poster they are.

 
GrymRpr 2009-07-01 10:55:36 PM  
Back in the early 70's, Someone else TRIED to get America to jump on the soccer bandwagon:
www.braziltravel.com

He FAILED

/Hot as a tropic night

 
Roger Arseways 2009-07-01 10:56:52 PM  
The Voice of Doom: Sorry, but just sitting around on your island playing against Cost Rica you haven't built the history and rivalries yet for anybody to care - well, maybe Mexico.

Most of the people here are cheering for Mexico.

//great women's sport -- team USA's been on top for years!

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2009-07-01 10:58:28 PM  
The Voice of Doom: Chances are that for most people it would be a bigger emotional issue who got their butt kicked by the US than that the US won.

Actually in a lot of places, they'd think it's cool the US won. If just because a decade ago the idea of the US even making the final would've been laughable.

 
Bill Frist 2009-07-01 11:00:52 PM  
Roger Arseways:

//great women's sport -- team USA's been on top for years!



I think this is a true impediment to its popularity in the US. it is just seen as a women's and/or little kid's sport. Will take a lot to overcome that.

 
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