Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Haha..not if they want to keep winning.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

I hope you realize it was the Brits who came up with the word "soccer".

It's like they came up with a cool word, and they saw how stupid the word is when other people started to say it.

"Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity anyone can engage in, next to soccer"

This just in...people have differing tastes. We'll have film at 11.

Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

My issue with the game is that there is a commercial break every two minutes.

Stop with that and it might be worth watching.

That and I grew up in Atlanta. I had no idea we had a team until I was 12. No shiat.

Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

That's not why it's named football. Football is a very old all-encompassing term used to describe team sports not played on horseback. We played many forms in the United States, American Football being the most popular for us, hence we call it football, differentiating it from association football, or soccer, and rugby. In countries where soccer or rugby are more prominent, they refer to these respective sports as 'football' also.

Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Jerry Rice - neither the fastest or the strongest WR in the game, still the best to every play that position.

Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Dan, your infatuation with musculature, strength and height seems to be more a fascination with the male anatomy than any particluar sport. So yeah, soccer definitely isn't for you. Perhaps greco-roman wrestling is more your speed.

Like I said, "if you haven't played it... you haven't a clue..."

Tachikoma: I love soccer, though I don't watch it that much (no tv, kind of kills that), and I was the most feared player on the team as a child. They actually switched me to the boys team because girls would split and run if they saw me coming their way (the league was ages 8 and under, I think) because I learned to play soccer the European Football Hooligan way: if you only make them cry, you're obviously not trying hard enough.

And that was before I had a set of cleats. After that, there was really no stopping me.

/hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then


You sound fat...Are you fat???

agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

those are usually the same white people who call it "futbol" and think it's incredibly classy of them, and read stuffwhitepeoplelike and don't realize they're being made fun of

danwinkler: Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

To be fair, the difference is not really the amount of scoring. I've been to some great 1-0 and 2-1 hockey games.

The big difference is the number of scoring chances. There are many more chances resulting from great stickhandling and passing plays, more shots on goal, which allows for great saves and goaltending.

i don't really care if the score ends up 1-0, if there have been plenty of moments to jump out of my seat as an exciting play develops. If there have end-to-end action, odd-man rushes, plenty of scoring chances, and great saves, I've gotten my money's worth, even if the final score is 1-0.

Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.









I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

Shadowknight

I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

It's not horrible, kicking is a major part of it. Remember that there's a family of footballs - American football, soccer, rugby, Australian football, Celtic football. And if American football has the least kicking, remember that soccer has the least handling of the ball; in every other football the players on the field can use their hands at least sometimes.

But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

About the only European sport I've been able to watch is Rugby, which is of course the granddaddy of American football anyway, just with more brutality and injury. I really did try to give the World Cup a shot last time around, and I just couldn't do it. Could not bring myself to care.

There were a bunch of informal games whose rules varied over time and space. They were eventually formalized into the separate footballs I mentioned.

/also, always remember Colbert sux

bwesb: Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Ty Cobb begs to differ and is sharpening up his spikes as I type this.

Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Oh, sure. They'd have no problem with the US having Randy Moss and Kobe Bryant as strikers, and, say, Shaq or LeBron as the keeper.

Tiger would be in the midfield, Bob Sanders would be a fullback.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?


And soccer is? Come on, have you actually ever watched a soccer match? 90% of the time they just kick way the fark down the field to the other team who just returns the favor and so on. The reason the clock never stops is that the fans couldn't actually make it through a game.

I've had it with these shenanigans,
Stephen Colbert, You're On Notice!

I could see soccer becoming popular in the U.S. It would have to change a few things to become popular though:

1) Allow use of your hands (so you can throw the ball)
2) Don't let the ball touch the ground
3) Allow tackling
4) Expand the goal to the whole side on the end
5) Shrink the field

FarkinFarker: Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

That's not why it's named football. Football is a very old all-encompassing term used to describe team sports not played on horseback. We played many forms in the United States, American Football being the most popular for us, hence we call it football, differentiating it from association football, or soccer, and rugby. In countries where soccer or rugby are more prominent, they refer to these respective sports as 'football' also.

Yeah, I've learned that since I made that comment. Surprised the hell out of me. I thought it was your typical American jingoistic reasons, didn't expect it was Britan screwing with the world's vernacular.

bushbot111: I could see soccer becoming popular in the U.S. It would have to change a few things to become popular though:

1) Allow use of your hands (so you can throw the ball)
2) Don't let the ball touch the ground
3) Allow tackling
4) Expand the goal to the whole side on the end
5) Shrink the field

you forgot to get rid of the goalkeeper

I love proper Football (Hearts FTW). I love US college football (Go Huskers). Baseball's great when you're in the crowd. Basketball I can take or leave, as I'm short and white. I've played both Hockey and Rugby and find them unendurable to watch.

I've occasionally explained to Americans how Football became Rugby Football became American Football renamed as Football. They usually get twitchy around the eyes long before the frothing starts.

Did you read the rest of my post. The only game that I can stand to watch on TV is hockey.

grotto_man: It's not horrible, kicking is a major part of it. Remember that there's a family of footballs - American football, soccer, rugby, Australian football, Celtic football. And if American football has the least kicking, remember that soccer has the least handling of the ball; in every other football the players on the field can use their hands at least sometimes.

I don't think you know much about the sport when you don't know that there are throw-ins in football(soccer).

Whoops - should have been more specific. My mistake CWS.

Williams holds the highest career batting average of anyone with 500 or more home runs.

grotto_man: And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

Funny, I'm a huge football fan and would love to see the UN be a stronger, more effective entity.

bwesb: Whoops - should have been more specific. My mistake CWS.

Williams holds the highest career batting average of anyone with 500 or more home runs.

Not to mention highest career average of anyone who never pistol whipped anyone.

r1niceboy: Basketball I can take or leave, as I'm short and white.

Basketball I tried to watch at least a couple times a year. Because when football season ends, I get bummed out there are no more sports to watch for a while (I enjoy hockey, but finding a Red Wings game in Virginia can be difficult out of playoffs). But man, it's just like soccer for me; I just can't bring myself to care.

The_Sponge: utter_bastard: American Football is exciting?


It is, because there's potential for a big play most of the time....interceptions, WR catches a touchdown pass, RB breaks a few tackles for a large gain or TD, interceptions, etc.

Soccer is low scoring with no hitting. Lame.


Someone didn't watch USA's breakaway goal against Brazil. If you cant appreciate a play like that you are probably the target demographic for the Kobe Vs. Lebron commercials and enjoy 134-122 NBA games

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.



I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

Yeah, can't wait for Monday Night Soccer!!!

And Sunday Night Horse Shoes...Saturday Afternoon Boccie Ball...Tuesday Morning at 9 O'clock Navel Gazing...yeah!!

W00T!!!

Gonz: Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Oh, sure. They'd have no problem with the US having Randy Moss and Kobe Bryant as strikers, and, say, Shaq or LeBron as the keeper.

Tiger would be in the midfield, Bob Sanders would be a fullback.

You'd want Dwight Howard as your keeper.

Doc Daneeka: danwinkler: Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

To be fair, the difference is not really the amount of scoring. I've been to some great 1-0 and 2-1 hockey games.

The big difference is the number of scoring chances. There are many more chances resulting from great stickhandling and passing plays, more shots on goal, which allows for great saves and goaltending.

i don't really care if the score ends up 1-0, if there have been plenty of moments to jump out of my seat as an exciting play develops. If there have end-to-end action, odd-man rushes, plenty of scoring chances, and great saves, I've gotten my money's worth, even if the final score is 1-0.

Actually, I totally agree. Watching a goalie farking stand on his head to make saves can result in a freaking blast of a 0-1 game to watch.

bwesb: Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Jerry Rice - neither the fastest or the strongest WR in the game, still the best to every play that position.

Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Dan, your infatuation with musculature, strength and height seems to be more a fascination with the male anatomy than any particluar sport. So yeah, soccer definitely isn't for you. Perhaps greco-roman wrestling is more your speed.

Like I said, "if you haven't played it... you haven't a clue..."

Like most Americans, I played soccer when I was about 9 years old. Then, I got taller, stronger, and started playing baseball and then football. And I am not infatuated with the male anatomy - my point was simply that every soccer player I ever met was a person who didn't have the strength to hack it in any other sport. Go to a high school, and look at the football players vs the soccer players (if the school even has a team). Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts, with little muscle and who smoked pot all the time. Granted, that's just my experience, but watching grown men dive on the grass crying because a player came within three feet of them doesn't do much for their image.

I'd watch soccer if all the players were hot women and they played naked.

Oh yeah, and some good 'ol hair pulling and cat-scratch fighting.

It's just not that complicated.

grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

Are you gay, european, or both?

o5iiawah:

Someone didn't watch USA's breakaway goal against Brazil. If you cant appreciate a play like that you are probably the target demographic for the Kobe Vs. Lebron commercials and enjoy 134-122 NBA games

Either you only watch Warriors vs. Suns games, or you haven't seen an NBA game since 1985.

I'm sorry, I forgot "60 year old grandmother"

Farked. New linkage for those of us late to the party?

mdeesnuts: grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

Even my sister, who is your typical college student that is basically a wannabe European, complains about the "pussy moves" people do in soccer to earn penalty kicks.

grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

I know there is no American sport that encourages players to try to get themselves fouled to gain points for their team. But if there was I would totally give it some catchy name. Like free something... free throws? Free throws! Thats it!

As long as there's Fark and group mentality, soccer will never be popular in the US.

mdeesnuts: I love football, baseball, and rugby but as far as kids learning cooperative skills in a competetive setting soccer wins hands down.

Shouldn't that be "hands off"?

Soccer the national sport? Feel the excitement.

bighasbeen: You'd want Dwight Howard as your keeper.

Oh, nice one. Frees up LeBron for the midfield. I'm also putting Marion Barber III in there somewhere, just because.

Oh, and along with Sanders, my backfield has Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher, and Brian Dawkins.

Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

tommyl66: Jeff Goldblum must be spinning in his grave...

not so fast buddy, I saw that!

danwinkler: Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts

And football players are generally (other than the running back and a few other players) fat, slow alcoholics.

Although by time you make it to the professionals, soccer is a bunch of crybabys.

Rugby FTW though. HS Soccer and wrestling are the best training for college rugby one could do. Football players are always on the sidelines out of breath and wonder why they can't tackle anyone.


/Soccer women > *

Farkomatic: It's just not that complicated.

Why are people arguing back and forth about this? Both American football and Soccer are complicated. The difference is you probably don't know enough about the sport to realize what's going on. Granted, American football is more complex since you have so many plays, but do you not think that penalty kicks and corner kicks are prepared ahead of time? I'm not directing this necessarily at you, I just see this same attitude throughout this thread. Most of the arguments in here are either half-baked trolling attempts or a strong demonstration of ignorance of a sport.

Not even Stephen Colbert can interest me that game.

Gonz: Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

I'm sure that team would be great for the first ten minutes. After that not so much.

Gonz: Oh, and along with Sanders, my backfield has Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher, and Brian Dawkins.

Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

Felony charges?

Fair enough, Dan. Take two 11-man football teams and have them play one regulation soccer match. Just one. No pads beyond pointless shin guards, no timeouts, max 3 subs per game, no oxygen breaks, no scheudled water breaks, and the only person who can use his hands is the keeper. Are they going to last 45 minutes?

I love the NFL but the realistic answer is nope!

Nice try though.