Jeff Goldblum must be spinning in his grave...

I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

It's already played by 6 year olds everywhere

I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

About the only European sport I've been able to watch is Rugby, which is of course the granddaddy of American football anyway, just with more brutality and injury. I really did try to give the World Cup a shot last time around, and I just couldn't do it. Could not bring myself to care.

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional basketball

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Mini Ditka: Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional basketball

Hell's yeah. Go Blue! Go Bears!

/cough cough
//go Lions
///no one heard me say that

Ah, that clip didn't have the part where he cut away to "exciting highlights!" of midfielders kicking the ball around. When the clip was over and they cut back to him, he had his head on a pillow and was feigning sleep.

I'm not starting anything, just thought it was funny. That and the doggie baseball league joke.

Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

I wish the USMNT would play a more pass happy style of soccer. Bunkering down and kicking a ball 60 yards up the pitch and hoping for the best isn't a good strategy at all. JOGO BONITO USA! please!

that being said, the counterattack between Landon and Davies was a work of art.

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world. If we cared even remotely about the sport we'd kick ass.

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

yeah, ties in American Football are all too common. Someone please resolve this injustice

Yeah, that's gonna happen, like the metric system...

Maybe some underwater basket weaving?

I think I'm a typical American sports fan. I love football. I enjoy basketball and baseball. I even on occasion enjoy NASCAR and (gasp) golf. Forget about tennis.

But I enjoy soccer about as much as I like watching grass grow for four hours. Seriously, how does the most popular sport in the world have so many 0-0 ties and so many 1-0 victories? I want to see some scoring! The NFL scoring system is, by comparison, much more complicated and much more interesting to watch. (It's not complicated but there are four ways to score in the NFL, depending on the type of play. You can score 1, 2, 3, or 6 points. That much more exciting)

And hockey isn't much better. When you think about it, hockey is pretty much just soccer on ice. Sure there are differences, but there are also a whole lot of similarities.

Shadowknight: Its' fast paced,

You mention you've seen Rugby, yet you think American football is fast paced? Not to mention rugby has 1 'team' for 80 minutes with a few subs. How many times to football teams change offense/defense or do stuff in longer than 30 second increments.

He's a comedian, like Rush Limbaugh.

Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

Epsilon: I think I'm a typical American sports fan. I love football. I enjoy basketball and baseball. I even on occasion enjoy NASCAR and (gasp) golf. Forget about tennis.

But I enjoy soccer about as much as I like watching grass grow for four hours. Seriously, how does the most popular sport in the world have so many 0-0 ties and so many 1-0 victories? I want to see some scoring! The NFL scoring system is, by comparison, much more complicated and much more interesting to watch. (It's not complicated but there are four ways to score in the NFL, depending on the type of play. You can score 1, 2, 3, or 6 points. That much more exciting)

And hockey isn't much better. When you think about it, hockey is pretty much just soccer on ice. Sure there are differences, but there are also a whole lot of similarities.

Golf can actually get pretty intense, especially when two guys are close. I think golf fans are pretty cool too

Mini Ditka: Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional college basketball


FTFY

Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

That's true enough. American's don't like being second to anyone, ever. Just look at all the emphasis we put on the Olympics. China came close to beating us last year, and you'd thought they came within inches of invading our shores.

I would love to see America get involved with a world wide competitive sport that everyone else plays, but would be afraid of what it would do when combined with our competitive nature. Look how crazy the hooligans get right now, and then add American fanaticism and national pride to the mix.

Seriously, we'd go to the World Cup, get narrowly beaten by some country, and then immediately want to bomb the shiat out of them.

We like football because we like war...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXacL0Uny0 (new window)

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Ok, fine, RARELY ends in a tie. The rules are designed to prevent them with massive amounts of OT, but hey...

I've played football and rugby, so I'm really getting a kick out of these responses.

/Soccer is farking dull.

Jon Stewart is a huge fan actually. If memory serves, he actually played in college. Which, has nothing to do with Colbert...except for their long-standing love affair. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Nobody is saying ties in the NFL never happen, but they happen maybe one or two times per season out of 512 games. And they never happen in playoffs because they're not allowed.

Shadowknight: Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Ok, fine, RARELY ends in a tie. The rules are designed to prevent them with massive amounts of OT, but hey...

And the same for big soccer games (and rugby too). Over time, sudden death, and then Penalty/Drop Kicks.

Maybe we should propose this scoring to 'americanize' soccer.
4 points: 1/2 way line or back
3 points: Outside of the PK box
2 points: Inside the PK Box

Tada. Now it's more interesting?

I love soccer, though I don't watch it that much (no tv, kind of kills that), and I was the most feared player on the team as a child. They actually switched me to the boys team because girls would split and run if they saw me coming their way (the league was ages 8 and under, I think) because I learned to play soccer the European Football Hooligan way: if you only make them cry, you're obviously not trying hard enough.

And that was before I had a set of cleats. After that, there was really no stopping me.

/hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then

I love football, baseball, and rugby but as far as kids learning cooperative skills in a competetive setting soccer wins hands down.

High energy game, low injury rates, and an emphasis on team play coupled with demanding individual effort. It's a win, win, win.

As things go it's still a biatch sport, but one my kids will be encouraged to play.

/along with full contact sports so they can learn how to knock the piss out of someone in a gentleman's setting

My elementary school gym teacher already declared soccer the "new national sport." In 1975.

Stephen Colbert and soccer can suck it.

Tachikoma: /hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then

I think that is fairly common story in America.

My brother played soccer as a young child as well, and then switched over to baseball when he hit puberty.

American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer

you know i remember a thread a while back in which some European fellows were trying to once and for all prove that futbol was better and more widely viewed then football, and there proof was one of those google fights with futbol on one end and American football on the other. then the whole thing crashed and burned when someone (correctly) pointed out that Americans dont call it that, they just call it football, so instead they tried fifa vs the NFL and NFL won handily, followed by much European WHARRBLEGHARBBLING.


hilarious.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer


Association Football was the form of football where the ball was kicked and Rugby Football was the form of football where the ball was carried. In the US both forms were played and popular and slang was used to differentiate between the two; hence "Soccer".

Not our fault that the rest of the world is composed of drooling morons who don't know the history of the sport they love so dearly.

Barricaded Gunman: My elementary school gym teacher already declared soccer the "new national sport." In 1975.


Lulz.

Way back in junior high, our football coach would call soccer "commie ball", and then start talking in a Russian accent.

"I keeeech bol."

He just did it to give the kickers on our team (soccer players) a little snark now and then.

darkscout: Maybe we should propose this scoring to 'americanize' soccer.
4 points: 1/2 way line or back
3 points: Outside of the PK box
2 points: Inside the PK Box

Tada. Now it's more interesting?

I don't know what you're talking about, but yes, that would be more interesting. Have a scoring system where you can score different points based on the difficulty of the play. Genius!

Of course, this will never happen in soccer because the rest of the world isn't going to change the whole game to appease us.

CouldaWouldShoulda: Jon Stewart is a huge fan actually. If memory serves, he actually played in college. Which, has nothing to do with Colbert...except for their long-standing love affair. Not that there's anything wrong with that.



awww-dorable.

Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting?


It is, because there's potential for a big play most of the time....interceptions, WR catches a touchdown pass, RB breaks a few tackles for a large gain or TD, interceptions, etc.

Soccer is low scoring with no hitting. Lame.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

It's more to watch the strategy in play more than JUST the play itself. It's very rock, paper, scissors in nature, with a lot of "Holy shiat I can't believe this just happened!" moments.

Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

The fact that Spain had a sense of loss when the US beat them up has to mean something.

Before this, everyone laughed when Mexico lost to the US. Now... They still laugh.

/Our national team is a joke
//Seriously, we have tons of better players, yet they continue to use these assholes

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.


Nobody is claiming that it isn't a physically demanding sport, because it definitely is. However, that doesn't make it exciting to watch.

/By that standard, water polo would be HUGE.
//My alma mater has a NCAA Division I water polo title, BTW.

penthesilea: awww-dorable.

Nice work!

I don't really swing that way but I do love his show...and yeah I ran around in those shorts in college too. Yikes!

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

I think most Americans play soccer just before they hit puberty. Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Shadowknight: with a lot of "Holy shiat I can't believe this just happened!" moments.


Seconded.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

You apparently don't know much about the game. I used to be like that when I was younger. But when you understand the rules and the intricate strategies of NFL football (some people liken it to a chess match on grass), it is a very enjoyable sport to watch. It can actually make you think instead of just react to a play.

I like Alexi Lalas because he is not afraid to get excited on the air when the US scores. I thought he was going to have an orgasm after the Davies-Donovan goal.

/I came.