Jeff Goldblum must be spinning in his grave...

I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

It's already played by 6 year olds everywhere

I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

About the only European sport I've been able to watch is Rugby, which is of course the granddaddy of American football anyway, just with more brutality and injury. I really did try to give the World Cup a shot last time around, and I just couldn't do it. Could not bring myself to care.

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional basketball

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Mini Ditka: Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional basketball

Hell's yeah. Go Blue! Go Bears!

/cough cough
//go Lions
///no one heard me say that

Ah, that clip didn't have the part where he cut away to "exciting highlights!" of midfielders kicking the ball around. When the clip was over and they cut back to him, he had his head on a pillow and was feigning sleep.

I'm not starting anything, just thought it was funny. That and the doggie baseball league joke.

Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

I wish the USMNT would play a more pass happy style of soccer. Bunkering down and kicking a ball 60 yards up the pitch and hoping for the best isn't a good strategy at all. JOGO BONITO USA! please!

that being said, the counterattack between Landon and Davies was a work of art.

bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world. If we cared even remotely about the sport we'd kick ass.

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

yeah, ties in American Football are all too common. Someone please resolve this injustice

Yeah, that's gonna happen, like the metric system...

Maybe some underwater basket weaving?

I think I'm a typical American sports fan. I love football. I enjoy basketball and baseball. I even on occasion enjoy NASCAR and (gasp) golf. Forget about tennis.

But I enjoy soccer about as much as I like watching grass grow for four hours. Seriously, how does the most popular sport in the world have so many 0-0 ties and so many 1-0 victories? I want to see some scoring! The NFL scoring system is, by comparison, much more complicated and much more interesting to watch. (It's not complicated but there are four ways to score in the NFL, depending on the type of play. You can score 1, 2, 3, or 6 points. That much more exciting)

And hockey isn't much better. When you think about it, hockey is pretty much just soccer on ice. Sure there are differences, but there are also a whole lot of similarities.

Shadowknight: Its' fast paced,

You mention you've seen Rugby, yet you think American football is fast paced? Not to mention rugby has 1 'team' for 80 minutes with a few subs. How many times to football teams change offense/defense or do stuff in longer than 30 second increments.

He's a comedian, like Rush Limbaugh.

Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

Epsilon: I think I'm a typical American sports fan. I love football. I enjoy basketball and baseball. I even on occasion enjoy NASCAR and (gasp) golf. Forget about tennis.

But I enjoy soccer about as much as I like watching grass grow for four hours. Seriously, how does the most popular sport in the world have so many 0-0 ties and so many 1-0 victories? I want to see some scoring! The NFL scoring system is, by comparison, much more complicated and much more interesting to watch. (It's not complicated but there are four ways to score in the NFL, depending on the type of play. You can score 1, 2, 3, or 6 points. That much more exciting)

And hockey isn't much better. When you think about it, hockey is pretty much just soccer on ice. Sure there are differences, but there are also a whole lot of similarities.

Golf can actually get pretty intense, especially when two guys are close. I think golf fans are pretty cool too

Mini Ditka: Football season is just around the corner.


/only sport that matters
//well, that and women's professional college basketball


FTFY

Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

That's true enough. American's don't like being second to anyone, ever. Just look at all the emphasis we put on the Olympics. China came close to beating us last year, and you'd thought they came within inches of invading our shores.

I would love to see America get involved with a world wide competitive sport that everyone else plays, but would be afraid of what it would do when combined with our competitive nature. Look how crazy the hooligans get right now, and then add American fanaticism and national pride to the mix.

Seriously, we'd go to the World Cup, get narrowly beaten by some country, and then immediately want to bomb the shiat out of them.

We like football because we like war...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXacL0Uny0 (new window)

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Ok, fine, RARELY ends in a tie. The rules are designed to prevent them with massive amounts of OT, but hey...

I've played football and rugby, so I'm really getting a kick out of these responses.

/Soccer is farking dull.

Jon Stewart is a huge fan actually. If memory serves, he actually played in college. Which, has nothing to do with Colbert...except for their long-standing love affair. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Nobody is saying ties in the NFL never happen, but they happen maybe one or two times per season out of 512 games. And they never happen in playoffs because they're not allowed.

Shadowknight: Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

Ok, fine, RARELY ends in a tie. The rules are designed to prevent them with massive amounts of OT, but hey...

And the same for big soccer games (and rugby too). Over time, sudden death, and then Penalty/Drop Kicks.

Maybe we should propose this scoring to 'americanize' soccer.
4 points: 1/2 way line or back
3 points: Outside of the PK box
2 points: Inside the PK Box

Tada. Now it's more interesting?

I love soccer, though I don't watch it that much (no tv, kind of kills that), and I was the most feared player on the team as a child. They actually switched me to the boys team because girls would split and run if they saw me coming their way (the league was ages 8 and under, I think) because I learned to play soccer the European Football Hooligan way: if you only make them cry, you're obviously not trying hard enough.

And that was before I had a set of cleats. After that, there was really no stopping me.

/hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then

I love football, baseball, and rugby but as far as kids learning cooperative skills in a competetive setting soccer wins hands down.

High energy game, low injury rates, and an emphasis on team play coupled with demanding individual effort. It's a win, win, win.

As things go it's still a biatch sport, but one my kids will be encouraged to play.

/along with full contact sports so they can learn how to knock the piss out of someone in a gentleman's setting

My elementary school gym teacher already declared soccer the "new national sport." In 1975.

Stephen Colbert and soccer can suck it.

Tachikoma: /hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then

I think that is fairly common story in America.

My brother played soccer as a young child as well, and then switched over to baseball when he hit puberty.

American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer

you know i remember a thread a while back in which some European fellows were trying to once and for all prove that futbol was better and more widely viewed then football, and there proof was one of those google fights with futbol on one end and American football on the other. then the whole thing crashed and burned when someone (correctly) pointed out that Americans dont call it that, they just call it football, so instead they tried fifa vs the NFL and NFL won handily, followed by much European WHARRBLEGHARBBLING.


hilarious.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer


Association Football was the form of football where the ball was kicked and Rugby Football was the form of football where the ball was carried. In the US both forms were played and popular and slang was used to differentiate between the two; hence "Soccer".

Not our fault that the rest of the world is composed of drooling morons who don't know the history of the sport they love so dearly.

Barricaded Gunman: My elementary school gym teacher already declared soccer the "new national sport." In 1975.


Lulz.

Way back in junior high, our football coach would call soccer "commie ball", and then start talking in a Russian accent.

"I keeeech bol."

He just did it to give the kickers on our team (soccer players) a little snark now and then.

darkscout: Maybe we should propose this scoring to 'americanize' soccer.
4 points: 1/2 way line or back
3 points: Outside of the PK box
2 points: Inside the PK Box

Tada. Now it's more interesting?

I don't know what you're talking about, but yes, that would be more interesting. Have a scoring system where you can score different points based on the difficulty of the play. Genius!

Of course, this will never happen in soccer because the rest of the world isn't going to change the whole game to appease us.

CouldaWouldShoulda: Jon Stewart is a huge fan actually. If memory serves, he actually played in college. Which, has nothing to do with Colbert...except for their long-standing love affair. Not that there's anything wrong with that.



awww-dorable.

Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting?


It is, because there's potential for a big play most of the time....interceptions, WR catches a touchdown pass, RB breaks a few tackles for a large gain or TD, interceptions, etc.

Soccer is low scoring with no hitting. Lame.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

It's more to watch the strategy in play more than JUST the play itself. It's very rock, paper, scissors in nature, with a lot of "Holy shiat I can't believe this just happened!" moments.

Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

The fact that Spain had a sense of loss when the US beat them up has to mean something.

Before this, everyone laughed when Mexico lost to the US. Now... They still laugh.

/Our national team is a joke
//Seriously, we have tons of better players, yet they continue to use these assholes

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.


Nobody is claiming that it isn't a physically demanding sport, because it definitely is. However, that doesn't make it exciting to watch.

/By that standard, water polo would be HUGE.
//My alma mater has a NCAA Division I water polo title, BTW.

penthesilea: awww-dorable.

Nice work!

I don't really swing that way but I do love his show...and yeah I ran around in those shorts in college too. Yikes!

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

I think most Americans play soccer just before they hit puberty. Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Shadowknight: with a lot of "Holy shiat I can't believe this just happened!" moments.


Seconded.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

You apparently don't know much about the game. I used to be like that when I was younger. But when you understand the rules and the intricate strategies of NFL football (some people liken it to a chess match on grass), it is a very enjoyable sport to watch. It can actually make you think instead of just react to a play.

I like Alexi Lalas because he is not afraid to get excited on the air when the US scores. I thought he was going to have an orgasm after the Davies-Donovan goal.

/I came.

Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Haha..not if they want to keep winning.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

I hope you realize it was the Brits who came up with the word "soccer".

It's like they came up with a cool word, and they saw how stupid the word is when other people started to say it.

"Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity anyone can engage in, next to soccer"

This just in...people have differing tastes. We'll have film at 11.

Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

My issue with the game is that there is a commercial break every two minutes.

Stop with that and it might be worth watching.

That and I grew up in Atlanta. I had no idea we had a team until I was 12. No shiat.

Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

That's not why it's named football. Football is a very old all-encompassing term used to describe team sports not played on horseback. We played many forms in the United States, American Football being the most popular for us, hence we call it football, differentiating it from association football, or soccer, and rugby. In countries where soccer or rugby are more prominent, they refer to these respective sports as 'football' also.

Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Jerry Rice - neither the fastest or the strongest WR in the game, still the best to every play that position.

Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Dan, your infatuation with musculature, strength and height seems to be more a fascination with the male anatomy than any particluar sport. So yeah, soccer definitely isn't for you. Perhaps greco-roman wrestling is more your speed.

Like I said, "if you haven't played it... you haven't a clue..."

Tachikoma: I love soccer, though I don't watch it that much (no tv, kind of kills that), and I was the most feared player on the team as a child. They actually switched me to the boys team because girls would split and run if they saw me coming their way (the league was ages 8 and under, I think) because I learned to play soccer the European Football Hooligan way: if you only make them cry, you're obviously not trying hard enough.

And that was before I had a set of cleats. After that, there was really no stopping me.

/hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then


You sound fat...Are you fat???

agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

those are usually the same white people who call it "futbol" and think it's incredibly classy of them, and read stuffwhitepeoplelike and don't realize they're being made fun of

danwinkler: Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

To be fair, the difference is not really the amount of scoring. I've been to some great 1-0 and 2-1 hockey games.

The big difference is the number of scoring chances. There are many more chances resulting from great stickhandling and passing plays, more shots on goal, which allows for great saves and goaltending.

i don't really care if the score ends up 1-0, if there have been plenty of moments to jump out of my seat as an exciting play develops. If there have end-to-end action, odd-man rushes, plenty of scoring chances, and great saves, I've gotten my money's worth, even if the final score is 1-0.

Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.









I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

Shadowknight

I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

It's not horrible, kicking is a major part of it. Remember that there's a family of footballs - American football, soccer, rugby, Australian football, Celtic football. And if American football has the least kicking, remember that soccer has the least handling of the ball; in every other football the players on the field can use their hands at least sometimes.

But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

About the only European sport I've been able to watch is Rugby, which is of course the granddaddy of American football anyway, just with more brutality and injury. I really did try to give the World Cup a shot last time around, and I just couldn't do it. Could not bring myself to care.

There were a bunch of informal games whose rules varied over time and space. They were eventually formalized into the separate footballs I mentioned.

/also, always remember Colbert sux

bwesb: Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Ty Cobb begs to differ and is sharpening up his spikes as I type this.

Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Oh, sure. They'd have no problem with the US having Randy Moss and Kobe Bryant as strikers, and, say, Shaq or LeBron as the keeper.

Tiger would be in the midfield, Bob Sanders would be a fullback.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?


And soccer is? Come on, have you actually ever watched a soccer match? 90% of the time they just kick way the fark down the field to the other team who just returns the favor and so on. The reason the clock never stops is that the fans couldn't actually make it through a game.

I've had it with these shenanigans,
Stephen Colbert, You're On Notice!

I could see soccer becoming popular in the U.S. It would have to change a few things to become popular though:

1) Allow use of your hands (so you can throw the ball)
2) Don't let the ball touch the ground
3) Allow tackling
4) Expand the goal to the whole side on the end
5) Shrink the field

FarkinFarker: Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

That's not why it's named football. Football is a very old all-encompassing term used to describe team sports not played on horseback. We played many forms in the United States, American Football being the most popular for us, hence we call it football, differentiating it from association football, or soccer, and rugby. In countries where soccer or rugby are more prominent, they refer to these respective sports as 'football' also.

Yeah, I've learned that since I made that comment. Surprised the hell out of me. I thought it was your typical American jingoistic reasons, didn't expect it was Britan screwing with the world's vernacular.

bushbot111: I could see soccer becoming popular in the U.S. It would have to change a few things to become popular though:

1) Allow use of your hands (so you can throw the ball)
2) Don't let the ball touch the ground
3) Allow tackling
4) Expand the goal to the whole side on the end
5) Shrink the field

you forgot to get rid of the goalkeeper

I love proper Football (Hearts FTW). I love US college football (Go Huskers). Baseball's great when you're in the crowd. Basketball I can take or leave, as I'm short and white. I've played both Hockey and Rugby and find them unendurable to watch.

I've occasionally explained to Americans how Football became Rugby Football became American Football renamed as Football. They usually get twitchy around the eyes long before the frothing starts.

Did you read the rest of my post. The only game that I can stand to watch on TV is hockey.

grotto_man: It's not horrible, kicking is a major part of it. Remember that there's a family of footballs - American football, soccer, rugby, Australian football, Celtic football. And if American football has the least kicking, remember that soccer has the least handling of the ball; in every other football the players on the field can use their hands at least sometimes.

I don't think you know much about the sport when you don't know that there are throw-ins in football(soccer).

Whoops - should have been more specific. My mistake CWS.

Williams holds the highest career batting average of anyone with 500 or more home runs.

grotto_man: And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

Funny, I'm a huge football fan and would love to see the UN be a stronger, more effective entity.

bwesb: Whoops - should have been more specific. My mistake CWS.

Williams holds the highest career batting average of anyone with 500 or more home runs.

Not to mention highest career average of anyone who never pistol whipped anyone.

r1niceboy: Basketball I can take or leave, as I'm short and white.

Basketball I tried to watch at least a couple times a year. Because when football season ends, I get bummed out there are no more sports to watch for a while (I enjoy hockey, but finding a Red Wings game in Virginia can be difficult out of playoffs). But man, it's just like soccer for me; I just can't bring myself to care.

The_Sponge: utter_bastard: American Football is exciting?


It is, because there's potential for a big play most of the time....interceptions, WR catches a touchdown pass, RB breaks a few tackles for a large gain or TD, interceptions, etc.

Soccer is low scoring with no hitting. Lame.


Someone didn't watch USA's breakaway goal against Brazil. If you cant appreciate a play like that you are probably the target demographic for the Kobe Vs. Lebron commercials and enjoy 134-122 NBA games

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.



I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

Yeah, can't wait for Monday Night Soccer!!!

And Sunday Night Horse Shoes...Saturday Afternoon Boccie Ball...Tuesday Morning at 9 O'clock Navel Gazing...yeah!!

W00T!!!

Gonz: Fano: I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Oh, sure. They'd have no problem with the US having Randy Moss and Kobe Bryant as strikers, and, say, Shaq or LeBron as the keeper.

Tiger would be in the midfield, Bob Sanders would be a fullback.

You'd want Dwight Howard as your keeper.

Doc Daneeka: danwinkler: Hockey is way different than soccer. Much more movement, faster pace, higher scoring games (despite having goals a fraction of the size), and players who don't create international incidents when there is contact. Also, there are no ties. You get a 5 min 4 on 4 OT period, then a shootout (in the regular season). Playoffs, its sudden death OT, baby.

To be fair, the difference is not really the amount of scoring. I've been to some great 1-0 and 2-1 hockey games.

The big difference is the number of scoring chances. There are many more chances resulting from great stickhandling and passing plays, more shots on goal, which allows for great saves and goaltending.

i don't really care if the score ends up 1-0, if there have been plenty of moments to jump out of my seat as an exciting play develops. If there have end-to-end action, odd-man rushes, plenty of scoring chances, and great saves, I've gotten my money's worth, even if the final score is 1-0.

Actually, I totally agree. Watching a goalie farking stand on his head to make saves can result in a freaking blast of a 0-1 game to watch.

bwesb: Then, we gain the muscle, strength, height, and testosterone needed (or any combination thereof) to play a real sport.

Jerry Rice - neither the fastest or the strongest WR in the game, still the best to every play that position.

Ted Williams - not the fastest bat or a power-hitter by any stretch but still holds the best batting average of all time.

Dan, your infatuation with musculature, strength and height seems to be more a fascination with the male anatomy than any particluar sport. So yeah, soccer definitely isn't for you. Perhaps greco-roman wrestling is more your speed.

Like I said, "if you haven't played it... you haven't a clue..."

Like most Americans, I played soccer when I was about 9 years old. Then, I got taller, stronger, and started playing baseball and then football. And I am not infatuated with the male anatomy - my point was simply that every soccer player I ever met was a person who didn't have the strength to hack it in any other sport. Go to a high school, and look at the football players vs the soccer players (if the school even has a team). Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts, with little muscle and who smoked pot all the time. Granted, that's just my experience, but watching grown men dive on the grass crying because a player came within three feet of them doesn't do much for their image.

I'd watch soccer if all the players were hot women and they played naked.

Oh yeah, and some good 'ol hair pulling and cat-scratch fighting.

It's just not that complicated.

grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

Are you gay, european, or both?

o5iiawah:

Someone didn't watch USA's breakaway goal against Brazil. If you cant appreciate a play like that you are probably the target demographic for the Kobe Vs. Lebron commercials and enjoy 134-122 NBA games

Either you only watch Warriors vs. Suns games, or you haven't seen an NBA game since 1985.

I'm sorry, I forgot "60 year old grandmother"

Farked. New linkage for those of us late to the party?

mdeesnuts: grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

Even my sister, who is your typical college student that is basically a wannabe European, complains about the "pussy moves" people do in soccer to earn penalty kicks.

grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players. I've noticed that the people with the expressed contempt of American football also are often big supporters of the UN and globalism, the former of which is also big on victimology and the latter on the stage managed appearance of competition which seems to be prevalent in soccer refereeing.

I know there is no American sport that encourages players to try to get themselves fouled to gain points for their team. But if there was I would totally give it some catchy name. Like free something... free throws? Free throws! Thats it!

As long as there's Fark and group mentality, soccer will never be popular in the US.

mdeesnuts: I love football, baseball, and rugby but as far as kids learning cooperative skills in a competetive setting soccer wins hands down.

Shouldn't that be "hands off"?

Soccer the national sport? Feel the excitement.

bighasbeen: You'd want Dwight Howard as your keeper.

Oh, nice one. Frees up LeBron for the midfield. I'm also putting Marion Barber III in there somewhere, just because.

Oh, and along with Sanders, my backfield has Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher, and Brian Dawkins.

Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

tommyl66: Jeff Goldblum must be spinning in his grave...

not so fast buddy, I saw that!

danwinkler: Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts

And football players are generally (other than the running back and a few other players) fat, slow alcoholics.

Although by time you make it to the professionals, soccer is a bunch of crybabys.

Rugby FTW though. HS Soccer and wrestling are the best training for college rugby one could do. Football players are always on the sidelines out of breath and wonder why they can't tackle anyone.


/Soccer women > *

Farkomatic: It's just not that complicated.

Why are people arguing back and forth about this? Both American football and Soccer are complicated. The difference is you probably don't know enough about the sport to realize what's going on. Granted, American football is more complex since you have so many plays, but do you not think that penalty kicks and corner kicks are prepared ahead of time? I'm not directing this necessarily at you, I just see this same attitude throughout this thread. Most of the arguments in here are either half-baked trolling attempts or a strong demonstration of ignorance of a sport.

Not even Stephen Colbert can interest me that game.

Gonz: Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

I'm sure that team would be great for the first ten minutes. After that not so much.

Gonz: Oh, and along with Sanders, my backfield has Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher, and Brian Dawkins.

Have fun, world. This is what you'll be facing if the US gets serious about soccer.

Felony charges?

Fair enough, Dan. Take two 11-man football teams and have them play one regulation soccer match. Just one. No pads beyond pointless shin guards, no timeouts, max 3 subs per game, no oxygen breaks, no scheudled water breaks, and the only person who can use his hands is the keeper. Are they going to last 45 minutes?

I love the NFL but the realistic answer is nope!

Nice try though.

Soccer is much more interesting when you care about the result. Because goals mean so much, it turns the mid-game into a slow ratchet up of tension, and when someone goes for the goal it's a real thrill. Without that element, though, it gets pretty boring

darkscout: danwinkler: Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts

And football players are generally (other than the running back and a few other players) fat, slow alcoholics.


Really, you should just say linemen, discounting defensive ends and a lot of guards and centers. The only really "fat" linemen you see (I mean fat all over, not just some pudge around the middle which is actually good for the position) are the tackles (nose, defensive and offensive). And even that isn't true enough to be a generality. The average 40 time for an NFL lineman is around 5 seconds, so we're talking about a 6'5" 300+ pound guy covering 10 yards in just a little over a second. That's not slow.

mdeesnuts: grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

It's one of the main things that turns me off to the game.

A guy barely gets kicked and he's on the ground grabbing his knee or ankle,rolling on the ground and gnashing his teeth.

Please spare me.

/hot like Soccer!

I got tired of watching any "professional" sport. They all seem to be more entertainers than anything. While college sports you had guys and gals knocking themselves out. Giving 110%. In fact, some of the best drama can be found at the local high school games. Sure you don't see the skill of the pros. But they want to win more.

I haven't watched much soccer since Pele's heyday.

OK, I still like hockey. (Wings)

I played soccer (er football) for years so I enjoy watching it. Plus the crowds at the matches are insane. American football (NFL) crowds are crazy too, but it seems that soccer (um football) fans make noise constantly and really are fanatical.

I loved watching the World Cup and we Americans made a decent try. But Brazil is just consistently great.

I hope the U.S. wins the world cup. Winning the world cup and not having anyone in the country that won it care would soooooo piss off the europeans.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

THIS. So boring.

Spanky_McFarksalot: I hope the U.S. wins the world cup. Winning the world cup and not having anyone in the country that won it care would soooooo piss off the europeans.

Your team sucks, so it'll never happen.

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.



The Sounders block off the upper deck.



So yeah. Of course the non-roped-off sections can sell out.

mvfreeman: mdeesnuts: grotto_man: Shadowknight
And there's the importance of the penalty kicks, which encourage victimology by the players.

Diving and it's widely accepted practice is why I don't watch soccer anymore. It's disgusting.

/should be a card-able offence

It's one of the main things that turns me off to the game.

A guy barely gets kicked and he's on the ground grabbing his knee or ankle,rolling on the ground and gnashing his teeth.

Please spare me.


You talkin' about Lebron james, or soccer?

Think of soccer as being like getting sex. It can take a really long time to score, but when you do...

bwesb: Fair enough, Dan. Take two 11-man football teams and have them play one regulation soccer match. Just one. No pads beyond pointless shin guards, no timeouts, max 3 subs per game, no oxygen breaks, no scheudled water breaks, and the only person who can use his hands is the keeper. Are they going to last 45 minutes?

I love the NFL but the realistic answer is nope!

Nice try though.

Likewise, take 11 soccer players, put them in NFL equipment and have them smash into each other and see who gets up after 5 minutes.

Different sports attract different body types. In sports like American football and basketball you need a larger variety of body types than you do in soccer or baseball.

12349876: Think of soccer as being like getting sex. It can take a really long time to score, but when you do...

You're doing it wrong.

I've always thought Colbert was an idiot.

This just confirms it.

It's just. . . so. . . boring.

But I think basketball is boring too. Football and boxing are about the only sports I enjoy watching on TV. In person hockey and baseball are okay, and football is crap. Never been to a real soccer game in person, have to try it one day.

Xlr8urfark: Farkomatic: It's just not that complicated.

Why are people arguing back and forth about this? Both American football and Soccer are complicated. The difference is you probably don't know enough about the sport to realize what's going on. Granted, American football is more complex since you have so many plays, but do you not think that penalty kicks and corner kicks are prepared ahead of time? I'm not directing this necessarily at you, I just see this same attitude throughout this thread. Most of the arguments in here are either half-baked trolling attempts or a strong demonstration of ignorance of a sport.

Gee whiz - I was only asking for nekkid wimmins and cat fights.

o5iiawah You talkin' about Lebron James, or soccer?

I have to admit I don't watch basketball nearly as much as I used to.

But you're right, no shortage of actors in the NBA.

The equivalent of diving in soccer:

Greg Paulus - Duke

Robert Horry - San Antonio

They're not writhing in pain because they're hurt; it's a tactic, just like in basketball.

king cranium maximus IV: I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.



The Sounders block off the upper deck.



So yeah. Of course the non-roped-off sections can sell out.

Oh, I see. They should have built a separate 30,000 seat stadium that they would have to then expand when demand for tickets goes up. Well, that makes perfect sense.

BTW, there's a huge controversy up here over whether or not to open the upper bowl. They just added 4,000 seats that sold out in no time.

They're playing a friendly against Barcelona. The entire stadium, as in all 67,000 seats, are sold out.

Feel free to talk about anything else you obviously don't know about.

king cranium maximus IV: The Sounders block off the upper deck.

No sport other than football, car racing, and big golf events hold as many people as an NFL stadium. And NFL stadiums would be quite a bit smaller if they had significantly more than 8 games a year.

I respect 'soccer' immensely. But American football is too fascinating. It isn't so much the violence or the extreme skill set, it's the chess-like brains behind the game. I can digest that stuff for hours.

Every sport, with the exception of baseball, is the same game. The offense has the ball, puck, etc. and advances to a goal which may or may not be defended. Just off the top of my head: Football (both), Basketball, Polo (both), Soccer, Pool, Ping Pong, Rugby, Bowling, Tennis, Golf, Hockey, Professional Eating, and everything else. Yet we argue over which version of the same game is the best, but soccer sucks.

Iplaybass: Your team sucks, so it'll never happen

We have a team? Meh.

BabyFaceFinster: The equivalent of diving in soccer:

Greg Paulus - Duke

Robert Horry - San Antonio

They're not writhing in pain because they're hurt; it's a tactic, just like in basketball.

Two words: Duke Sucks.

Earl Green: Every sport, with the exception of baseball, is the same game. The offense has the ball, puck, etc. and advances to a goal which may or may not be defended. Just off the top of my head: Football (both), Basketball, Polo (both), Soccer, Pool, Ping Pong, Rugby, Bowling, Tennis, Golf, Hockey, Professional Eating, and everything else. Yet we argue over which version of the same game is the best, but soccer sucks.

You left out every single racing sport.

Kickball, dang it, it's not soccer, it's kickball!

rush limbaugh's fupa: I wish the USMNT would play a more pass happy style of soccer. Bunkering down and kicking a ball 60 yards up the pitch and hoping for the best isn't a good strategy at all. JOGO BONITO USA! please!

It's what you've got. It works, don't knock it. But it ain't pretty, I'll give you that.

Football is the most retarded name for RUGBY I have ever heard.

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: king cranium maximus IV: I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.



The Sounders block off the upper deck.



So yeah. Of course the non-roped-off sections can sell out.

Oh, I see. They should have built a separate 30,000 seat stadium that they would have to then expand when demand for tickets goes up. Well, that makes perfect sense.

BTW, there's a huge controversy up here over whether or not to open the upper bowl. They just added 4,000 seats that sold out in no time.

They're playing a friendly against Barcelona. The entire stadium, as in all 67,000 seats, are sold out.

Feel free to talk about anything else you obviously don't know about.

Well yeah, I would hope they could sell out agaisnt BARCELONA.

I was hoping this thread wasnt going to suck but this thread sucks real bad.

Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

It is really sad that people think football (soccer) is named that because you kick the ball.

It is not.

It is named football because it was a ball game played ON FOOT (as opposed to horseback).

The various football codes (american, rugby, association, australian) all descend from a common sport.

Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

madblader: Football is the most retarded name for RUGBY I have ever heard.

Why would you name a sport after a Ralph Lauren brand?

12349876: Think of soccer as being like getting sex. It can take a really long time to score, but when you do...

I like to use my hands.

And baseball will never give up the title of greatest sex-metaphor sport. It's you up there alone, your stick in your hands, trying to get what you want out of someone who has 8 friends back there trying to stop you. You'll probably only get 3-4 chances each night to try to pull something off. And if you succeed 30% of the time, you're doing great.

Hitting with RISP is like talking to a drunk chick: if you can't produce in that situation you won't be in the show for very long.

12349876: Earl Green: Every sport, with the exception of baseball, is the same game. The offense has the ball, puck, etc. and advances to a goal which may or may not be defended. Just off the top of my head: Football (both), Basketball, Polo (both), Soccer, Pool, Ping Pong, Rugby, Bowling, Tennis, Golf, Hockey, Professional Eating, and everything else. Yet we argue over which version of the same game is the best, but soccer sucks.

You left out every single racing sport.

Maybe. But, if the body, car, horse, etc. can be seen in the same light as the ball or the puck, then once again the object of the contest is to advance it across the goal. That might be a stretch as well as boxing/wrestling, but this theory really goes well with drunken folks who are less than intense sports fans. Throw in a couple of impressive big words and you can hold court with this one for at least 3 minutes.

12349876: king cranium maximus IV: The Sounders block off the upper deck.

No sport other than football, car racing, and big golf events hold as many people as an NFL stadium. And NFL stadiums would be quite a bit smaller if they had significantly more than 8 games a year.

And that's what they are actually considerung.

/Don't do it
//Football fans should check out Easterbrook's TMQ on ESPN.com

Farkomatic: Xlr8urfark: Farkomatic: It's just not that complicated.

Why are people arguing back and forth about this? Both American football and Soccer are complicated. The difference is you probably don't know enough about the sport to realize what's going on. Granted, American football is more complex since you have so many plays, but do you not think that penalty kicks and corner kicks are prepared ahead of time? I'm not directing this necessarily at you, I just see this same attitude throughout this thread. Most of the arguments in here are either half-baked trolling attempts or a strong demonstration of ignorance of a sport.

Gee whiz - I was only asking for nekkid wimmins and cat fights.

Don't want to get banninated so I can't deliver on the naked wimminz, but

12349876: Think of soccer as being like getting sex. It can take a really long time to score, but when you do...

When you do it is really anticlimactic because you flopped on the ground in faux-pain to earn a penalty kick?

darkscout: danwinkler:
/Soccer women > *


How YOU doin'?

/farkette, left striker, left mid

Bill Frist: 12349876: Think of soccer as being like getting sex. It can take a really long time to score, but when you do...

When you do it is really anticlimactic because you flopped on the ground in faux-pain to earn a penalty kick?

Pity sex is still sex.

Bill Frist: Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

It is really sad that people think football (soccer) is named that because you kick the ball.

It is not.

It is named football because it was a ball game played ON FOOT (as opposed to horseback).

The various football codes (american, rugby, association, australian) all descend from a common sport.

Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Sure, next you'll tell me that an army has nothing to do with your limbs. I mean, hello, you have to use your arm to swing a sword.

DalaiLamaDingDong: bushbot111: I could see soccer becoming popular in the U.S. It would have to change a few things to become popular though:

1) Allow use of your hands (so you can throw the ball)
2) Don't let the ball touch the ground
3) Allow tackling
4) Expand the goal to the whole side on the end
5) Shrink the field

you forgot to get rid of the goalkeeper

Yeah, get rid of the goalkeeper too. Or just have him play closer to the other players. And call him a, I dunno, safety or something. I'm just throwing out ideas.

Earl Green: Every sport, with the exception of baseball, is the same game. The offense has the ball, puck, etc. and advances to a goal which may or may not be defended. Just off the top of my head: Football (both), Basketball, Polo (both), Soccer, Pool, Ping Pong, Rugby, Bowling, Tennis, Golf, Hockey, Professional Eating, and everything else. Yet we argue over which version of the same game is the best, but soccer sucks.


This is why to general to make any real sense. Really, golf is just like basketball?

That said, I do think that in western team sports there is a kind of "netural" platonic sport we can envision and most of the sports have only slight variations on it.

Said sport involves a ball that is advanced to an opposing goal that is in the center of the end of a rectangular field/court. The goal probalby is defended by a goalkeeper and you score by getting inside. About five men are used on defense and another five on offense. The game is timed and the game ends when the time runs out.


If you add one or two twists that defines most sports. Basketball (except goal is in air, no keeper, same guys play offense and defense), soccer (can only use feet), lacrosse (have sticks), hockey (on ice, puck instead of ball), etc.

Looking at it that way, soccer is almost the most neutral an unfeatured sport. There isn't much special about it vis-a-vis other team ball sports.

Whether that makes it more "pure" or more "boring" depends on your point of view.

Doc Daneeka: Tachikoma: /hadn't played since I was ten, sadly
//started getting into baseball around then

I think that is fairly common story in America.

My brother played soccer as a young child as well, and then switched over to baseball when he hit puberty.

Yea, but that's only because in most states throughout the 80's and 90's (and mybe even today) soccer was not a highschool sport. So you could only play in youth leagues. After about 10-12 years old, there was no place to play.

But man you should see the crowds that show up for Seattle Sounders FC games now that we have a real, big-time soccer team here. We are on pace to break the record for attendance in the MSL. And part of it is the fact that soccer is not only a sport that you can play in highschool here, but also the fact that those of who were kids in the 70's-90's are now adults with kids who are playing soccer, and who idolize the top players. I think that the 2006 World Cup was the first big soccer event to really "rally the troops" and get more Americans interested in soccer.

Now that we just almost took the 2009 Confederations Cup, beating the #1 team, and narrowly losing to the team that took over the #1 spot after the tournament, momentum is building. I don't think we could take the World Cup...yet. But if the momentum that is started can continue, than kids today will be 18-20 years and prime age for top flight soccer by the 2018 World Cup. That is probably the soonest we can get enough good players together to challenge for a big 5+ game tourney like the World Cup. Right now we have about 6 good players on our team (Donovan, Onyewu and Howard being the most impressive - sorry, but Altidore really needs to grow up to get any better), but someone like Brazil can easily have 6-10 players on the field that have easy name recognition. In about 8-10 years, I think the US will be close to if not at that level of talent.

DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.

Swampthing in Korea: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer Soccer

mushroom mushroom!

agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

Leave the South sometime sport. It'll do wonders for you, trust me

/been to 42 states and 6 countries
//haven't left western hemisphere yet though =(

Soccer is boring in my opinion. Nothing really exciting happens. It is kinda like NASCAR. The same thing for most of the event with a couple highlights. No one in the US is really going to like a sport where a 0-0 tie is likely.

American football is not fast paced at all. I am bored to death when I see a game in person. It's a sport to be watched on TV. The strategies are interesting though. You set up each play like a general would plot his next move against an enemy.

The comparison of having football players trying to play soccer is stupid. Most sports are specialized. Just because you are good at one sport does not mean you will be good at another sport regardless of how athletic you are.

Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.

Plus I know that Ireland and Australia call it soccer as well.

Doesn't matter the name really, only it's superiority :)

Listerine: It's already played by 6 year olds everywhere

Then by nobody after the age of 12, soccer is not going to catch on in america, its boring, low scoring, and very little action.

/unlike subby's mom

12349876: No sport other than football, car racing, and big golf events hold as many people as an NFL stadium. And NFL stadiums would be quite a bit smaller if they had significantly more than 8 games a year.

By "football", do you mean soccer, or football?

Because most NFL stadiums don't hold as many people as your average SEC football stadium (or the Horseshoe, Big House, or Rose Bowl), and the SEC stadiums are having a big year if they host 7 games in a year.

And golf? HUGE golf galleries are 35,000 fans. Three days of a golf tournament barely fill a large college football stadium.

Cheesy Rat: Leave the South sometime sport. It'll do wonders for you, trust me

Hint: go to Seattle; full of douchebags who think that whatever is cool in Europe is automatically cooler than anything America has/does because Americans don't care about it/don't like it.

Gonz: and the SEC stadiums are having a big year if they host 7 games in a year.

Not really, almost all SEC teams host 7 games, and several host 8.

Now, if you'd said something like "Pac-10 teams", you'd be right. Except it's pretty much always only 6 home games, unless maybe they're playing 13 games for the season.

/but that's an argument for another thread.
//I know you were just using the SEC because they have large stadiums and rabid fanbases

I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

it's not true until he tweets it. then I'll believe it.

Shadowknight: I would love to see America get involved with a world wide competitive sport that everyone else plays, but would be afraid of what it would do when combined with our competitive nature. Look how crazy the hooligans get right now, and then add American fanaticism and national pride to the mix.

utter_bastard: American Football is exciting? What the fark are you smoking?

Move three yards, go to commercial for 10 minutes. It takes 4 hours to play a one hour game.

The only game I can stand to watch on TV is hockey. There things actually happen.

basketball too, for me at least

CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

Calm down buddy. Thinking soccer is boring and wanting it to fail are two different things. Personally it puts me to sleep, but I don't want it to fail in the States. I think watching the riots on TV would be fun.

Remember watching that Will Ferrell movie about soccer?
Me neither.

agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

Wha?

It took me a second to realize you must be talking about hispanics, because soocer in the US has long been a sport for upper-middle class closet racists to support to separate them from the "savages" whoops, I mean "thugs" (that's the term they use now, right?) that have destroyed basketball and football.

mvfreeman:
And that's what they are actually considerung.

/Don't do it
//Football fans should check out Easterbrook's TMQ on ESPN.com

There goes my night. TMQ columns are incredibly entertaining, but they take about half an hour to get through (at least).

/approves

bwesb: In my prime I could sprint the 50 and 100 yard dash better than 80% of the track team, run a go-route that made the football coach damned-near choke on his whistle, kick field goals into the wind and rain from 50 yards out, and catch anything hit remotely near me in center field. I love every thing about football and baseball - they are great sports. However, every athletic ability I ever developed came from my favorite sport - soccer.

If you haven't played it then you haven't a clue as to what I am talking about.

As a runner and track coach, I hated you people. We could've destroyed ever team in the state if the soccer kids just came out for track.

/Loves soccer also but could never figure out how to run and kick things at the same time...

Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.

How would the world react if the US actually won?
I doubt that we will (though it looks like we have the possibility of stunning some very good teams).

I get the feeling that the entire planet, including some of our closest allies, would be highly offended. It would be like the hatred of us invading Iraq, x 1000.

Why?
BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.

I don't really see a lot of celebrating in the streets outside of latino communities and maybe a little in Boston and NYC.

I can the interviews now on BBC of Americans saying "What's the World Cup?" when asked how they feel about it. "Oh, we won? That's nice."

Given that the final for 2010 is in July, I'd be willing to bet a Yankees-Red Sox game would get higher TV ratings.

Also, NEV4R FORGET!



/I just want America to kick Italy's ass
//I think the rest of the world can support us in that
///yes, I know the US got two red cards which it deserved in the game and tied only because of an italian own goal
////this was on an order of magnitude worse

HMS_Blinkin: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world.

Oh, so you're on the team? Good job! Great game!

Yup, says here, see "metric system"

Doc Daneeka: Shadowknight: Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=281116004

excellent.

I award you +137 intertube points!

Bill Frist: agoratrader: Dude I've never in my life heard a white person talk about soccer in the US. Now in the last few months I've overheard so many conversations about soccer. It's insane and blows my mind.

Wha?

It took me a second to realize you must be talking about hispanics, because soocer in the US has long been a sport for upper-middle class closet racists to support to separate them from the "savages" whoops, I mean "thugs" (that's the term they use now, right?) that have destroyed basketball and football.

Ok. I LOL'd. I am definitely using that line in the future.

IAmRight: Cheesy Rat: Leave the South sometime sport. It'll do wonders for you, trust me

Hint: go to Seattle; full of douchebags who think that whatever is cool in Europe is automatically cooler than anything America has/does because Americans don't care about it/don't like it.

Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat, just moves from AC bubble to AC bubble. And I never said I don't like American sports - baseball is still my favorite sport (despite the Manures...er...Mariners), and I love college football (doesn't have all the biatch primadonna's of the pro game). Not a big basketball fan, but that's because most basketball players only real claim to fame should be an over-active growth gland - most of them are not good athletes (I know - Lebron and Kobe and a few others are, but they are the exception). I was just calling you out for your borderline racist comment about not hearing any white person talk about it. I'm just saying, get the fark out of the south sometime son, the world (and the US) is a big farking place and your opinion might be more informed if you left the skankin' peach for a while.

Lets call soccor what it is....kickball

Strobeguy: Lets call soccor what it is....kickball

Sadly, kickball would probably get higher ratings in the US than soccer.

Hell, after watching "Dodgeball," it made me want to turn on the Ocho and watch it.

/you have disrespected the Hasselhoff

gambit60: mvfreeman:
And that's what they are actually considerung.

/Don't do it
//Football fans should check out Easterbrook's TMQ on ESPN.com

There goes my night. TMQ columns are incredibly entertaining, but they take about half an hour to get through (at least).

Some of the longer ones can get to around an hour in my experience. Still a great read.

Will they sell capri-sun and orange slices at the stadiums?

madblader: Football is the most retarded name for RUGBY I have ever heard.

Why? They kick it more often then in US Footbal!

"If you don't like soccer I'll squeeze your balls."

vlakorados: HMS_Blinkin: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We beat the number one team in the world.

Oh, so you're on the team? Good job! Great game!

LOSER!

Seriously - fans say "WE" b/c they (we) are the support, and often the funding.

kukukupo: Will they sell capri-sun and orange slices at the stadiums?

rack it

CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

No, its just more visible because they have won a few games, either they will keep winning and people will just expect it and not give a shiat or they will go back to losing and people will still not give a shiat in a few months or until football season starts. There is nobody talking about soccer, but I have heard a lot of people talk of not being able to wait until football starts back up, nobody in the states ever anticipate the world cup


Cheesy Rat: Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat,

Hey now, this year its been a lot better, we can actually get cool in the shade!

dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

The Aussies also call it soccer, because they use "football" to refer to rugby or Aussie Rules.

The Italians call it "Calcio."

The Germans call it "Fußball," and use "Football" to refer to American football.

Who the fark cares what it's called? "Soccer" is an unambiguous term that clearly refers to only one sport, so it's perfectly serviceable as a name. As long as the name is clearly understood in the country where it is used, what does it matter?

Good luck with that, Steve.

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: Anyone who doubts soccer can become big in the US need only get in the proximity of a Seattle Sounders FC home game.

I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.



Seconded, brother. This town is footy city. I'm going to the Sounders-Chelsea and Barcelona games this summer. If we can win the championship a few times, we may get invited to start playing in the Champions League. Ya heard it hear, first.

Go Sounders!

Skinkadink: America's ultimate sport is Triad!

/There must be some way to get out of here...
//not obscure.

Pyramid?

Or are we talking cards?

steamingpile: CaptMacMillian: I love this thread. Seeing so many people complaining about soccer because it's becoming more and more visible just makes my day.

Keep on hating guys, it's totally working!

No, its just more visible because they have won a few games, either they will keep winning and people will just expect it and not give a shiat or they will go back to losing and people will still not give a shiat in a few months or until football season starts. There is nobody talking about soccer, but I have heard a lot of people talk of not being able to wait until football starts back up, nobody in the states ever anticipate the world cup


Cheesy Rat: Or you could be a douchebag in Atlanta where no one goes outside because of flopsweat heat,

Hey now, this year its been a lot better, we can actually get cool in the shade!

The US immediately enters the Gold Cup in a few days, a tournament they should win. Then there's some more WC qualifying. Europe finishes their WC qualifying between sept and October. The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game. ESPN just bought the rights to broadcast La Liga. After the draw there is 6 months of buildup to the WC with important stories about injuries, dressing room rows and friendlies scored.

Face it..its going to be near nonstop soccer for the next year or so.

I have a hard time getting up for the Yankees and Red Sox when they play every 2 and a half weeks.

bighasbeen: Ah, that clip didn't have the part where he cut away to "exciting highlights!" of midfielders kicking the ball around. When the clip was over and they cut back to him, he had his head on a pillow and was feigning sleep.

I'm not starting anything, just thought it was funny. That and the doggie baseball league joke.

If I recall correctly that was Argentina and that was part of a sequence of 37 straight successful passes by Argentina that set-up a goal in their 6-0 victory over Serbia.

o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?

Gonz: o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?

Yes. God bless DVR.

Gonz: o5iiawah: The draw for the WC is usually in december which has a HUGE global following. Thats usually top story espn for a few days. Also, more americans are getting into the European game.

Are you really claiming Americans will give half a damn about soccer when the NFL playoffs and college bowl games are shaping up?

I have an attention span longer than the 12 seconds it takes to make a play in the NFL, so yes.

Its possible to follow more than one thing.

Bill Frist: dennysgod: Good, lets stop calling it soccer too and call it football like the other 6 billion people in the world.

Bill Frist: DoWhatNowToWhat: Even if soccer does become the new American sport it won't be respected in the rest of the world because the US keeps calling it soccer.

people get slapped for calling it soccer

That's because the rest of the world is retarded and ignorant of history.

It is called soccer because the game is one of many CODES of football that mostly developed around the same time. It is the ASSOCIATION football code. Thus, soccer.

Crying about calling it football is like crying that people call them pandas instead of bears. Pandas are a type of bear, dumbass.


Don't try to sound smart, we only call it soccer because we already called "American Football" football so we used a slang term for the game as not to cause confusion, same goes for Australia and parts of Ireland that call it soccer too.

The proper term for the game is Association Football just like the proper term for a panda is actually Ailuropoda melanoleuca so stop calling it a panda.

nlscb
How would the world react if the US actually won?


The team you beat: disappointed
The loser's rivals: gloat
The rest: congratulate and move on to business as usual, i.e. maybe find some scape goats and prepare to win the next big cup themselves.
Since basically the whole world is competing it's not like that most aren't used to somebody else winning.


I get the feeling that the entire planet, including some of our closest allies, would be highly offended. It would be like the hatred of us invading Iraq, x 1000.


I call bullshiat and say the opposite would happen: BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.
In contrast to popular opinion, the world doesn't always revolve around the US - for example if it's soccer.
Sorry, but just sitting around on your island playing against Cost Rica you haven't built the history and rivalries yet for anybody to care - well, maybe Mexico.

Chances are that for most people it would be a bigger emotional issue who got their butt kicked by the US than that the US won.


BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T CARE.

Oh, I bet especially the soccer haters and "America is the best at everything (...that America cares about; if there's someone better at it, it's because America hasn't cared about it)." would ooze smugness all over the place:
"Now we're even the best at soccer. Suck it, world! U-S-A, U-S-A!"
Just look at Fark's retarded soccer threads.

Nah, I think my panda bear analogy was better. Bears have a bunch of different species, but in an area where one is dominant that species might be casually referered to as "bear" while less common species in said area will have a qualifier (grizzly bear, panda bear, whatev).

Similarly, association football is just called football in places where it is dominant, in places hwere it isn't (australia, us, etc.) it is called soccer.

Ah America, home to more people who call themselves sports fans than anywhere else. And the second they get to show you how little they care about sports, they'll show you. Sorry but putting down a sport, undoes the whole sports fan thing. And if all you care about is baseball or basketball or football? Then you are a fan of that alone.

Haha, WhyteRaven never misses a change to show what a terrible poster they are.

Back in the early 70's, Someone else TRIED to get America to jump on the soccer bandwagon:


He FAILED

/Hot as a tropic night

The Voice of Doom: Sorry, but just sitting around on your island playing against Cost Rica you haven't built the history and rivalries yet for anybody to care - well, maybe Mexico.

Most of the people here are cheering for Mexico.

//great women's sport -- team USA's been on top for years!

The Voice of Doom: Chances are that for most people it would be a bigger emotional issue who got their butt kicked by the US than that the US won.

Actually in a lot of places, they'd think it's cool the US won. If just because a decade ago the idea of the US even making the final would've been laughable.

Roger Arseways:

//great women's sport -- team USA's been on top for years!


I think this is a true impediment to its popularity in the US. it is just seen as a women's and/or little kid's sport. Will take a lot to overcome that.

Does this mean the sport will now be called Colbert?

I suppose there is a certain interest in watching athletes kick Colbert's balls around.

GrymRpr: He FAILED

A single player can't make a country embrace a sport. And the MLS got it right running the league the way soccer leagues are run everywhere else. That and not claiming they'd revolutionize America.

I've never understood why Americans who like gridiron think that nothing happens in football. Okay I'm not the biggest footy fan in the world (give me rugby any day of the week) but for Christ's sake American Football is just as dull. Everyone stops playing every six seconds to stand around again for hours before running around again for a few seconds. At least footy players move around the whole time.

Oh, and

"I do find it odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility feels compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just to play rugby." --Rupert Giles, resident British dude on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

sunbird: At least footy players move around the whole time.

I was going to give you a serious answer about how loss of offensive position is seen as a failure in american sports, but is basically expected in soccer, but clearly you don't even watch soccer so why bother.

bighasbeen: Really, you should just say linemen, discounting defensive ends and a lot of guards and centers. The only really "fat" linemen you see (I mean fat all over, not just some pudge around the middle which is actually good for the position) are the tackles (nose, defensive and offensive). And even that isn't true enough to be a generality. The average 40 time for an NFL lineman is around 5 seconds, so we're talking about a 6'5" 300+ pound guy covering 10 yards in just a little over a second. That's not slow.

And the post I was replying to said this:

danwinkler: Go to a high school, and look at the football players vs the soccer players (if the school even has a team). Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts, with little muscle and who smoked pot all the time.

Do you see the the difference? High School != NFL. I bet the average professional soccer player has more muscle than a HS football player.

-

Infernal Wedgie: How YOU doin'?

/farkette, left striker, left mid

How. YOU doin?

/Then: Stop\Sweep
//Now: Inside Center, Fullback, Scrumhalf, Flanker.

When Lalas said "Haiti" Stephen was about to say, "They all have AIDS." but he held it in and toned it down to, They might be weak."

Hell yes! my first green and it was a good way to get all the trolls


/loves the football
//and by that I mean not the handegg variety.

Bill Frist: sunbird: At least footy players move around the whole time.

I was going to give you a serious answer about how loss of offensive position is seen as a failure in american sports, but is basically expected in soccer, but clearly you don't even watch soccer so why bother.

Okay... at least someone is running around most of the time. Still, I'd really rather have rugby any day of the week. Don't get me started on cricket (which is something like lawn bowls with golf clubs) the only good thing of which could be said is that it presents the spectators with a five day drinking session in the sun (when it is sunny).

danwinkler: Doc danwinkler:

Like most Americans, I played soccer when I was about 9 years old. Then, I got taller, stronger, and started playing baseball and then football. And I am not infatuated with the male anatomy - my point was simply that every soccer player I ever met was a person who didn't have the strength to hack it in any other sport. Go to a high school, and look at the football players vs the soccer players (if the school even has a team). Look at, say, a running back, and any soccer player. In my experience, soccer players are generally scrawny runts, with little muscle and who smoked pot all the time. Granted, that's just my experience, but watching grown men dive on the grass crying because a player came within three feet of them doesn't do much for their image.

I don't know where you went to school but in the Metro Atlanta area you would have had a different experience. The kids I played with and against were good athletes.

My midfield didn't have a kid under 6'. One of our forwards was 6'4" and a beast. Almost impossible for our 5A level of competition to guard for a whole game. He went on to Vandy. My keeper was amazing. Over 6' built and would have been a killer player for the Football team. We all would have done well at positions other than kicker. And of course the pot smoker of the team was a multiple 1st and second team defensive player for Boston U's conference.

Of course if you compare a running back that has been working out since middle school and a soccer player that has been playing for the same amount of time their bodies will be different. That's a pretty weak arguement.

Had we all played both sports our football team would have been much better. Lots of lame dudes played football. Not good at much else and only stuck with it because they had played since middle school.

And of course, this was a public school that didn't recruit good players to their school. The soccer team just had a mix of great talent. Better quality than our football or baseball teams could have put together.

My favorite sport is teh awesome.

Your favorite sport sucks.

Ty Webb: My favorite sport is teh awesome.

Your favorite sport sucks.

Not as much as your favourite team does.

sunbird:

Alright, well I'll give you a serious answer then.

When people say nothing happens in soccer I think what they mean is that nothing of CONSEQUENCE happens 99.9% of the time. Balls move quickly up the field and goals are scored pretty randomly, only a handful of times.

So it isn't like football where even though a team might not score many times, the scoring drive will take a long time (or you will get close enough that your gain field position, etc.) or like basketball where scoring is really frequent, even if the scoring drive doesn't take long.

I think the equivelant would be if every baseball ball game was a pitcher's dual the rules where changed so that only homeruns counted.

People would pretty much hate baseball in that situation too.

You gotta admit that it is pretty weird to have a sport where most of the aftergame discussion is spent talking about shiat that ALMOST happened instead of what actually happened. "We had so many shots on goal!" "We dominated so much more than the score indicated!" etc.

Bill Frist: but is basically expected in soccer

It's also expected in basketball. Indeed in college and pro basketball, it's forced to happen.

WhyteRaven74
Actually in a lot of places, they'd think it's cool the US won.

Usually rooting for the fighting underdog, I initially was all for the US against Brazil - then I thought of Fark's soccer troll brigade and turned neutral.
See, Zapp Brannigan? Fark trolls, that's what makes a man turn neutral!


If just because a decade ago the idea of the US even making the final would've been laughable.

I thought they had a decent chance in 2002.
They lost against Germany - but they played better and could (should?) have won that day.
And South Korea in the semi-finals..well, lets just say you could face stronger opposition in a World Cup semi-finale, even if it was the host nation and had a good run (and maybe a couple of refs as some people claim..).

bighasbeen: bwesb: Fair enough, Dan. Take two 11-man football teams and have them play one regulation soccer match. Just one. No pads beyond pointless shin guards, no timeouts, max 3 subs per game, no oxygen breaks, no scheudled water breaks, and the only person who can use his hands is the keeper. Are they going to last 45 minutes?

I love the NFL but the realistic answer is nope!

Nice try though.

Likewise, take 11 soccer players, put them in NFL equipment and have them smash into each other and see who gets up after 5 minutes.

Different sports attract different body types. In sports like American football and basketball you need a larger variety of body types than you do in soccer or baseball.

I think the more interesting point is that if soccer were the biggest, most lucrative sport in the US, those little boys who grew up to be ridiculous football/basketball/whateverball players would instead have devoted their skills and athleticism to soccer from childhood. That is why the US would probably dominate the sport if it did indeed ever become as attractive as football or basketball in the US--especially when you consider how cheap it is to play as a kid compared to football.

Sure, maybe Ray Lewis, Lebron, Bob Sanders, Kobe Bryant, etc. couldn't play a decent game today, but imagine if they'd been playing since they were five years old. Obviously not all would be as good at soccer as they ended up being at their sport of choice, but many would.

WhyteRaven74: It's also expected in basketball. Indeed in college and pro basketball, it's forced to happen.

It is not expected in basketball that your shot will fail 90% of the time... unless you really really suck.

How come we have to pick between American Football and Football? Might it just be possible to like both?

The Voice of Doom: They lost against Germany - but they played better and could (should?) have won that day.

I remember that game. The German coach after the game look like he had just barely missed getting hit by a truck. Had that "whoa, shiat that was close" look on his face. What I found super cool about him was that when one reporter asked a question that implied the US wasn't a really good team he immediately said that the US is a good team.

Football is only high score because you buttwads MADE it high score. OMG 42 TO 30 who cares? Thats like 4 touchdowns per side.

Let's see how "high scoring" your dumb game is after you only get one point for a touchdown and half a point for a field goal.

Instantly games are like 3 1/2 to 1 matches.

Bill Frist: It is not expected in basketball that your shot will fail 90% of the time... unless you really really suck.

It is however expected you will play lots of defense, the shot clock will see to that.

japantheman: How come we have to pick between American Football and Football? Might it just be possible to like both?

We don't. It's the trolls who keep insisting that the two are exclusive.

I watch teams in this order:
Liverpool
Barca
Cincinnati Bengals

I'd say most soccer fans in the US like both sports. It's the football only crowd who has the problem.

Captain_Jesus: Instantly games are like 3 1/2 to 1 matches.

yes, except as pointed out everything in football matters. Either you are advancing the ball or failing two, either have serious consequences for your offense or defense.

Not so in soccer, outside of the freak play that goes in or results in a free kick.

Captain_Jesus: Football is only high score because you buttwads MADE it high score. OMG 42 TO 30 who cares? Thats like 4 touchdowns per side.

Let's see how "high scoring" your dumb game is after you only get one point for a touchdown and half a point for a field goal.

Instantly games are like 3 1/2 to 1 matches.

It's higher scoring than soccer but truthfully not by very much.

Anyways I think that's missing the point. The amount of "scores" or "points" doesn't directly correlate to the quality of the game.

CaptMacMillian: Anyways I think that's missing the point. The amount of "scores" or "points" doesn't directly correlate to the quality of the game.

It is the soccer fans who are missing the point, no one has ever claimed that higher scoring automatically equals better game.

Bill Frist: Captain_Jesus: Instantly games are like 3 1/2 to 1 matches.

yes, except as pointed out everything in football matters. Either you are advancing the ball or failing two, either have serious consequences for your offense or defense.

No it doesn't. More often than not teams do not score when given possession. There are multiple 3-and-outs and there are many instances where each team is basically punting the ball back and forth to each other.

Now football is certainly more obvious in it's movement given that it's separated into individual plays and possessions which could cause each possession to be considered more "important" than soccer due to the lower number of them. However pretending that every single movement in a football game matters is just plain wrong unless you're willing to say that every pass in a soccer game matters as well.

Bill Frist: CaptMacMillian: Anyways I think that's missing the point. The amount of "scores" or "points" doesn't directly correlate to the quality of the game.

It is the soccer fans who are missing the point, no one has ever claimed that higher scoring automatically equals better game.

Seriously, read the thread and see the amount of times people say things like "Americans won't ever like a game that ends 0-0 or 1-0".

CaptMacMillian: No it doesn't. More often than not teams do not score when given possession.

I know your reading comprehension isn't very good Capt, but that is not what I said at all....

CaptMacMillian: Seriously, read the thread and see the amount of times people say things like "Americans won't ever like a game that ends 0-0 or 1-0".

*sigh*

Pointing out that extremely low scoring games can be problamatic does not mean that higher catagorically equals better. It means that you need a certain level of scoring or else there are problems, not that every game has to end 548 to 340. In fact, really high scoring games tend to have similar problems to low scoring ones I think, such as basketball.

CaptMacMillian: However pretending that every single movement in a football game matters is just plain wrong unless you're willing to say that every pass in a soccer game matters as well.

lolz. Since when does something have to be ABSOLUTELY true to be GENERALLY true.

THe bottom line is this: scoring is hard in football because it is hard to get the ball into scoring range.

Scoring is hard in soccer because it is hard to score, NOT because it is hard to get up the field.

The passes up field don't mean much in soccer because it is easy to get up to the goal. The ball goes back and forth twoards the goal a billion times a game.

Bill Frist: CaptMacMillian: However pretending that every single movement in a football game matters is just plain wrong unless you're willing to say that every pass in a soccer game matters as well.

lolz. Since when does something have to be ABSOLUTELY true to be GENERALLY true.

THe bottom line is this: scoring is hard in football because it is hard to get the ball into scoring range.

Scoring is hard in soccer because it is hard to score, NOT because it is hard to get up the field.

The passes up field don't mean much in soccer because it is easy to get up to the goal. The ball goes back and forth twoards the goal a billion times a game.

So getting the ball within scoring range means something in football but not in soccer?

I mean that isn't what we were talking about, but to a large degree yes.

If a football offense has the ball in the red zone there is a really really strong chance they will score. If they don't score, it is a monumental defensive triumph.

In soccer, if the offense has the ball in scoring range, they are expected to fail to score at least 90% of the time. It is nothing terribly special if the defense prevents them from scoring.

Bill Frist: CaptMacMillian: Seriously, read the thread and see the amount of times people say things like "Americans won't ever like a game that ends 0-0 or 1-0".

*sigh*

Pointing out that extremely low scoring games can be problamatic does not mean that higher catagorically equals better. It means that you need a certain level of scoring or else there are problems, not that every game has to end 548 to 340. In fact, really high scoring games tend to have similar problems to low scoring ones I think, such as basketball.

So you're saying the people who claim that Americans won't like soccer because there isn't enough scoring aren't saying that? They're saying that the problem with soccer is it's lack of scoring thereby saying that the solution is: yup, more scoring.

It has nothing to do with "better" or "worse". You said that no one says that yet there are many in this thread alone. I agree that the level of "score" doesn't determine the quality of the game.

In fact, I'll just requote what I already wrote:
Anyways I think that's missing the point. The amount of "scores" or "points" doesn't directly correlate to the quality of the game.

We're not in disagreement about scoring, only that there are idiots in this thread who think that it is soccer's problem.

Chelle82
if soccer were the biggest, most lucrative sport in the US, those little boys who grew up to be ridiculous football/basketball/whateverball players would instead have devoted their skills and athleticism to soccer from childhood.

If they have the skills, that is. And if there's the infrastructure and the people with experience to spot and develop those talents.

So: maybe, maybe not. Chances would certainly be better.


That is why the US would probably dominate the sport if it did indeed ever become as attractive as football or basketball

I don't know; it's a saying here that "there are almost no 'small' [read: easily beatable] opponents left in soccer".

The number of people to draw from doesn't seem to matter that much if you just find the right people; there are lots of comparatively small countries with strong teams.
Heck, Germany's number of active soccer players registered with club teams (that's not even counting people playing in leisure leagues, school, just for fun,.. ) is with 6.7 million larger than the whole population of some countries that can still kick our asses any day.

CaptMacMillian: We're not in disagreement about scoring, only that there are idiots in this thread who think that it is soccer's problem.

I guess what I"m disagreeing with is that this is really their argument.


As I said, too much scoring can cause the same problem as too little. Look at basketball, many people dislike basketballb ecause it is so high scoring that each score becomes meaningless and the game almost feels like it doesn't start until halfway through the fourth quarter.

I love soccer.

Just say no to Kick Ball.

o5iiawah: Face it..its going to be near nonstop soccer for the next year or so. until football starts

Fixed that for you, after football starts even it pre-season soccer will be dropped like a drunk one night stand.

You have to understand, its the 6th or 7th most popular sport behind hockey, golf, and it may even be behind IRL making it 8th and after the cup its out of the top 10.

Its fun to watch soccer fans get so excited only to be left sitting alone once real football starts.

CaptMacMillian: We're not in disagreement about scoring, only that there are idiots in this thread who think that it is soccer's problem.

No soccers biggest problem is that its farking boring, even to us adults who played it as kids find it dull now. The last time I had fun playing soccer was in an indoor complex that I think has been torn down since then, soccer was fun when it was played indoors like hockey and had action but fark that field they play on now is just too farking big for consistent action to take place.

The Voice of Doom: Chelle82
if soccer were the biggest, most lucrative sport in the US, those little boys who grew up to be ridiculous football/basketball/whateverball players would instead have devoted their skills and athleticism to soccer from childhood.

If they have the skills, that is. And if there's the infrastructure and the people with experience to spot and develop those talents.

So: maybe, maybe not. Chances would certainly be better.

What I'm trying to say is that there are lots of freakishly athletic guys in the US who very likely could have insane soccer skills--and they've probably never kicked a ball outside of third grade gym class.

If our culture were dominated by soccer, chances are the infrastructure, coaches and scouts would be in place for soccer as they are for football now. Many of America's best athletes never even consider soccer because they are so focused on the possible fame and money that other sports can deliver. And I'm not even talking about just the guys who make the pros in other sports. There are plenty of incredibly skilled athletes who just can't pick up the intricacies of American football at the pro level. Maybe if they'd spent their time on soccer instead, they'd be world class. I'm not saying the US would destroy the world every year or anything, but I'd like to see a US team that's actually full of our best possible players. Or "right players" as you put it.

Granted, I'm doing an assload of speculating here. And I have the benefit of never being able to be proved wrong as soccer will probably never take hold in American culture the way football and basketball have. At least not in my lifetime.

Bill Frist: I think this is a true impediment to its popularity in the US. it is just seen as a women's and/or little kid's sport. Will take a lot to overcome that.

I just can't watch the game. Bores me to tears. In the New York-Columbus MLS game this week there was 1 shot on goal from the NY team, 9 total shots. And I don't care to start watching FSC to see "good football" since that costs money. To the game's credit the women's team's success is really remarkable. It will take a lot to overcome that but as long as the pinnacle of your game is some dude named Fabiano writhing in pain and goalies only having to make 1 save in a 90+ min. game, you're just not gonna hit that American sports marketplace. Unfortunately for soccer, it's the most lucrative one in the world.

Chelle82: Granted, I'm doing an assload of speculating here. And I have the benefit of never being able to be proved wrong as soccer will probably never take hold in American culture the way football and basketball have. At least not in my lifetime.

You're from Buffalo -- did you see that the Habs overpaid for Spacek?

Retsam: I love soccer.




/jk

Bill Frist
As I said, too much scoring can cause the same problem as too little. Look at basketball, many people dislike basketballb ecause it is so high scoring that each score becomes meaningless and the game almost feels like it doesn't start until halfway through the fourth quarter.

That's a thought similar to one that I had when I heard someone here mention something how soccer sucks because if you go and fetch a beer, you might have missed "the only entertaining bit".
And how soccer should get rid of ties and do best-of-fives or something because it's unfair that the better team gets "robbed" because an outplayed team is lucky.

I think the problem with soccer for most Americans is the lack of "action", not scoring.
Basketball, American Football and Ice Hockey are more reliable in delivering quick action while soccer is a lot more about..I don't know, suspense?
About the (consequence of the) moment you happened to miss when you were fetching beer, the knowledge that one little mistake can cost you everything, that one little thing can turn everything upside-down (btw: that's why I really like the away goals rule).

But that's also why it can be pretty boring if you don't really have your heart in it for one side or if it's a really important game.
I rarely watch soccer if I don't care for one of the teams or it's an unimportant game and I would just be hoping to see some great moves or nice goals - that might happen while I'm in the kitchen.

Stephen Colbert is Canadian, isn't he?

That polite little bastard.

/all right, so i looked up his wiki and found out he is American Irish Catholic. Close enough.

Bill Frist: sunbird:

Alright, well I'll give you a serious answer then.

When people say nothing happens in soccer I think what they mean is that nothing of CONSEQUENCE happens 99.9% of the time. Balls move quickly up the field and goals are scored pretty randomly, only a handful of times.

So it isn't like football where even though a team might not score many times, the scoring drive will take a long time (or you will get close enough that your gain field position, etc.) or like basketball where scoring is really frequent, even if the scoring drive doesn't take long.

I think the equivelant would be if every baseball ball game was a pitcher's dual the rules where changed so that only homeruns counted.

People would pretty much hate baseball in that situation too.

You gotta admit that it is pretty weird to have a sport where most of the aftergame discussion is spent talking about shiat that ALMOST happened instead of what actually happened. "We had so many shots on goal!" "We dominated so much more than the score indicated!" etc.

Oh I see. Were I feeling uncharitable I'd suggest that scoring a goal in footy is hard work, harder than a touchdown, and Americans are apparently workshy. :P But its actually all about personal preferences and where you are from. Were an American adopted by a Cameronian version of Madonna and raised in Africa he would think that football was great. A New Yorker by birth raised in Kentucky he'd think NASCAR was the bee's knees.

And I love Formula 1, and even I'll admit some races are worse than paint drying.

I really want to like Soccer, really, but it's so boring. I cannot even fathom how the entire world watches it and loves it so much. But I guess it's even like NASCAR to me, everyone around me watches and loves it but I just cannot justify watching cars make left turns for like 5 hours straight. The only reason I'd watch is for the crashes, but those don't happen often enough and even if they did, they'd be on the news.

Oh well, maybe one day I'll enjoy it but today is not that day. I really would like to enjoy it though.

The Voice of Doom
..for one side or if it's a really important game.
..for one side or if it is NOT an important game.

sunbird: Oh I see. Were I feeling uncharitable I'd suggest that scoring a goal in footy is hard work, harder than a touchdown, and Americans are apparently workshy. :P

Well, were I feeling uncharitable I'd suggest that scoring a goal too often involves a free kick or pure blind luck and that takes the fun out of it.

Roger Arseways: Chelle82: Granted, I'm doing an assload of speculating here. And I have the benefit of never being able to be proved wrong as soccer will probably never take hold in American culture the way football and basketball have. At least not in my lifetime.

You're from Buffalo -- did you see that the Habs overpaid for Spacek?

I will miss doing impressions of him, but what the hell is up with the Habs this week? Are they paying these guys with IOUs?

/That's just as good as money, sir. Those are IOUs!
//and to keep it on topic, what are Canada's feelings on soccer? I really don't know, but I didn't think they cared much more than we did.

Bill Frist
I'd suggest that scoring a goal too often involves a free kick

Now that's something an American Football fan should appreciate:
the only moments in soccer where it's obvious that you really can prepare a number of different plays to pick from.
One could see American Football's downs as a long sequence of nothing but free kicks and corners. ;)

The Voice of Doom: the only moments in soccer where it's obvious that you really can prepare a number of different plays to pick from.
One could see American Football's downs as a long sequence of nothing but free kicks and corners. ;)

I actually do find the corner kicks fairly interesting.

But penalty kicks....

Chelle82: but what the hell is up with the Habs this week? Are they paying these guys with IOUs?

I wanted Gionta in Buffalo but not at that price. Get him at a bargain later on. the season depends on how ready Chris Butler is but one thing's for sure, it's Lindytime and Millertime for a long time. yeahhh

TheShavingofOccam123: Stephen Colbert is Canadian, isn't he?

That polite little bastard.

/all right, so i looked up his wiki and found out he is American Irish Catholic. Close enough.

Yeah, spent his life in South Carolina.

Chelle82
//and to keep it on topic, what are Canada's feelings on soccer?

I'm sure they'll like Stefan Raab's "Ice Football":

It's soccer played five-against-five.
The field is an ice hockey rink.
The players are wearing hockey armor..
..and bowling shoes.

Main site,
Link to the page with more videos

You should hear Europeans talk about baseball. They sound a lot like the haters in this thread.

I like football (soccer) and it tickles me pink to see so many people so riled up about it.


Visca!

Americans = teh lack of attention span

Jesterian: Americans = teh lack of attention span

Uh, Americans like baseball and nascar so I'm gonna call bullshiat.

Shadowknight: But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

A sport that has about 5 seconds of action, followed by 40 seconds of standing in a circle, followed by another 5 seconds of action (you get the picture)... then there's timeouts... commercial breaks... 3 intermissions... and that's more fast-paced, eh? A 60 minute game stretched out into 3 hours is faster-paced than a 90 minute match that typically ends in roughly 2 hours?

I'm convinced Americans don't love football is because, with American football being more dominant, we only think football is sooo low scoring. I've posted this diatribe a few times here over the past couple weeks, but it won't hurt to do it again. What if, in football, every goal counted for 7 points? And how about shots that didn't score count as 3 points? After all, you might as well get credit for trying, even when you don't actually succeed, right? So, let's take USA/Brazil as an example. Brazil has 21 points on 3 goals, plus another 24 points on 8 shots on goal that were turned aside. USA had 14 points on 2 goals, as well another 6 points for 2 other shots that were stopped. So Brazil wins 45-20. Or how about the 3rd place game, Spain/South Africa? Spain would win that one 36-29. All of a sudden, we've got a game that Americans will be tricked into perceiving as high scoring and will also, therefore, consider to be wicked fast-paced.

On a side note, punting should be outlawed in American football. What farking sport has one team willfully and deliberately turn the ball/puck over to the opponent at any point in the game? I say, on 4th down, go for it or kick a field goal. You don't succeed, big deal, at least you didn't wuss out.

steamingpile:
CaptMacMillian: We're not in disagreement about scoring, only that there are idiots in this thread who think that it is soccer's problem.

No soccers biggest problem is that its farking boring, even to us adults who played it as kids find it dull now. The last time I had fun playing soccer was in an indoor complex that I think has been torn down since then, soccer was fun when it was played indoors like hockey and had action but fark that field they play on now is just too farking big for consistent action to take place.

I'm an adult, so are my friends. We all love soccer, make trips to USA games all across the east coast and all have our own favorite clubs. I only care to watch football when my hometown team (Who dey!) is playing.

I'm also a product of a new generation, one that doesn't really remember before the MLS (I was 7 in '93) and that can easily watch soccer from all over the globe. A generation where youth soccer doesn't stop when you enter high school and club teams travel all over the country and world playing each other.

My father and uncles grew up without even really knowing anything about soccer, they were all football/baseball/basketball guys and are still to this day. However in my family every single kid has played soccer in high school instead of the three sports our elder generation.

The people who said that soccer was going to take over aren't completely wrong. While even I doubt that soccer will overtake American football soccer is certainly on the rise everywhere in the United States, I'm living proof.

NicoFinn: You should hear Europeans talk about baseball. They sound a lot like the haters in this thread.

Do they compare it to cricket the way we compare football and soccer, or is it just a straight-up "baseball is stupid?"

madden101: NicoFinn: You should hear Europeans talk about baseball. They sound a lot like the haters in this thread.

Do they compare it to cricket the way we compare football and soccer, or is it just a straight-up "baseball is stupid?"

Both.

madden101
NicoFinn: You should hear Europeans talk about baseball. They sound a lot like the haters in this thread.

Do they compare it to cricket the way we compare football and soccer, or is it just a straight-up "baseball is stupid?"

I couldn't say - I never heard anyone talk about it.

Well, maybe if there's a movie around a baseball team you might get a "Do you by any chance happen to know how scoring works in baseball?".

/does someone besides the UK and its former colonies actually play cricket?

madden101: NicoFinn: You should hear Europeans talk about baseball. They sound a lot like the haters in this thread.

Do they compare it to cricket the way we compare football and soccer, or is it just a straight-up "baseball is stupid?"

I've never talked to anyone here about cricket. And even when they hate, they're more educated about it than as to just call it stupid. They call it boring, as if they've actually tried to watch a game or two. They haven't. Trust me.

Football > Baseball > Hockey > Basketball > Nascar >>> ETC >>>> World series of poker > Women's basketball > Women's golf >>>>>>>>>>>>>> soccer.

madden101: A sport that has about 5 seconds of action, followed by 40 seconds of standing in a circle, followed by another 5 seconds of action (you get the picture)... then there's timeouts... commercial breaks... 3 intermissions... and that's more fast-paced, eh? A 60 minute game stretched out into 3 hours is faster-paced than a 90 minute match that typically ends in roughly 2 hours?

I agree the commercial breaks are a problem with football. It is about the only problem though, otherwise it is basically the perfect sport.

Anyway, you are definiting action too narrowly as "the clock running." Football players are doing stuff before the clock necessarily starts while soccer players are often doing nothing very interesting for a minute before a short burst of action, even if the clock is ticking the whole time.

CaptMacMillian:
The people who said that soccer was going to take over aren't completely wrong. While even I doubt that soccer will overtake American football soccer is certainly on the rise everywhere in the United States, I'm living proof.

One dude ain't proof of much, no offense.

All of the other problems discussed here aside, the biggest obstacle for soccer in the us is that simply the league is crap.

America has all of the best football players (of course, they are all from here....), basketball players and baseball players in the world coming here to play. Our leagues are the peak of the sports.

Our soccer league is mediocre at best, with even the best American players choosing to play elsewhere.

As long as this is the case, America as a whole won't give much of a shiat about soccer. Soccer is on the rise now like women's baskeball was on the rise.

Things could change the the future, but it will be a long road...

Soccer fever. CATCH IT!

when stephen colbert turned his back on the venture brothers, i turned my back on him

I_Approve_Of_This_Message: I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

I was there. It was epic.

/GO SOUNDERS!

I know soccer isn't a sport talked a lot about here on Fark, but if I could add my 2 cents...

I'm a Toronto FC supporter - proud and loyal since the club was first created in 2006. Since the city was awarded the franchise from Major League Soccer, the media here in town has given little regard to the club and its fans. Prominent radio personalities and writers gave the whole concept so pretty dire predictions. One of the more recognized members of the sports journalism community went on the radio and flatly said he gives the new soccer club "3 years at the most". And as the anti-soccer crowd continued their tirades against the club and sport, everyone else started to fall into the same mindset. Heck, Toronto is a hockey town, right? Why would anyone here bother to watch soccer?

Fact: Toronto FC sold 14,000 season tickets three weeks after they went on sale for the first time in 2006. They actually had 7,000 more people wanting season tickets but had to cap off sales due to league restrictions for corporate clients and community groups.

Fact: Since the first game at BMO Field in April 2007, 9 out of 10 home games have had sell out crowds. There is such demand for season and single-game tickets that less than 5 years into the club's history, there have already been talks between Toronto FC and the City of Toronto (owners of the stadium) to expand seating and increase the capacity.

Fact: Toronto FC, being in a city with a fraction of the population of Los Angeles and currently playing in a stadium that only holds around 20,000 is second place just behind the LA Galaxy in gross revenue.

Fact: Toronto FC supporters have travelled en mass to Columbus, Kansas City, Foxborough, New York, and other MLS in the thousands - possibly more than the number of Toronto Maple Leaf fans who travel to Ottawa, Buffalo, or Montreal.

And that's just Toronto FC's success. Seattle is looking spectacular in their first year playing in MLS and Philadelphia has been building up their supporter fanbase steadily since 2007 (they start playing in 2010). Vancouver is getting ready to start playing in 2011 alongside Portland, though if a stadium deal falls through with that city, Montreal will likely take the place of the Timbers.

I guess what I'm saying is that soccer probably isn't going away here in North America. In Canada, the sport is really picking up steam - likely a lot of that is due to the huge influx of immigrants we've had over the years who don't really have much interest in CFL football, baseball or lacrosse. I know the sport faces a bit more of an uphill battle in the US where baseball, basketball, and NFL/college football are the kings of sport; but I think the upcoming explosion of popularity for soccer is inevitable.



With Toronto FC, unlike the crowds we get at Maple Leafs, Raptors, Rock, or Argonauts games; almost EVERYONE wears red.

Oh, and now that I'm thinking of it:

"Soccer" is actually slang for Association Football.

The term came about when people started following Rugby Football and wanted to differentiate between the two. Soccer is actually English in origin and is still used today in places like South Africa, Australia, and the Caribbean as well as here in North America.

RadioAaron: I_Approve_Of_This_Message: I'm very much looking forward to the US Cup qualifier vs the Portland Timbers tonight. There's at least 500 supporters on their way down and it promises to be a crazy affair.

I was there. It was epic.

/GO SOUNDERS!

It was, indeed, a great game.
GO TIMBERS!

And hey, aren't we polite? Guy falls down, we give him a bottle of water. Hand-delivered.

/Not our proudest moment

1. Football (Yes, the NFL, but any football is better than NO football.)

2. Boxing/MMA

3. NBA

4. MLB (for a few weeks a year, anyway)

After that, it's pretty much just all kinda generic "sport" to be viewed when you're bored at home or munching your wings at Hooters, IMHO. Most sports fans can appreciate great play, no matter what the game. (That's one reason ESPN is popular year-round.)

Folks most appreciate sports they have experience with, or have grown up playing. We understand those games better and see the nuances more readily than in games with which we are less-experienced. Often, there are traditions to be respected, sometimes family or regional loyalty come into play. One likes what he likes. It's not a sin.

In conclusion: JUST GIVE ME MY FOOTBALL AND NOBODY GETS HURT!


/got the urge to bust out the Madden
//it's been a while...thanks for the inspiration, guys
///now go play whatever it is you kids are playing these days...just not on my lawn

Yeah, I seem to remember a dive in the NFL.

PullItOut: And hey, aren't we polite? Guy falls down, we give him a bottle of water. Hand-delivered.

/Not our proudest moment

I thought he flopped, but yeah, definitely ironic in front of the "A League Below; A Class Above" banner.

There were quite a few rave green jerseys rolling around on the pitch tonight, though.

Fantastic match, though. 2011 should be incredible.

Shadowknight: I know American Football is one of the more horribly named sports in the world, and is a result of us having to be different from everyone else...

But I'm sorry, it's just infinitely a more watchable sport for Americans. Its' fast paced, has an actual win/lose outcome (no ties!) and things actually happen.

About the only European sport I've been able to watch is Rugby, which is of course the granddaddy of American football anyway, just with more brutality and injury. I really did try to give the World Cup a shot last time around, and I just couldn't do it. Could not bring myself to care.

What? fast paced? I have watched paint drying that is faster paced that American football! The only American sport I can bring myself to even watch is Ice Hockey, oh wait thats Canadian.

insertcutename: I know soccer isn't a sport talked a lot about here on Fark, but if I could add my 2 cents...

I'm a Toronto FC...blah blah blah eh?

Has a Toronto FC fan ever traveled to watch Toronto FC in a MLS Cup game? Ha Ha! I flew to LA last year to watch Columbus defeat the New York Red Bulls for the MLS Cup!

I was also at BMO field earlier this year for the Columbus game. Good times! I'm glad MLS fans are getting into the soccer threads. I hate it when soccer comes up on fark and only the euro leagues are talked about.

I think a MLS soccer game would make a great fark party location or maybe one of the summer tour games that the big euro teams make.

/Columbus Till I Die!
//Actually did meet TFC fans from Toronto at MLS Cup.

I think it's funny to see all Europeans here trying to convince Americans that football (soccer) is great. But if Americans really decided to agree, they would likely trounce all other teams in the world, and the rest of the World (tm) would hate them for it.

/ Do not wake the sleeping bear
// India(?)

Ball. A ball is round. A baseball is round. A basketball is round. A bowling ball is round. A tennis ball is round.

American football. That is NOT A BALL. That is an oval shaped thing. THAT IS NOT A BALL. The only bounce I've seen of an american football is a rugby styled fieldgoal (performed all of a handfull of times). More than 90% of the game has nothing to do with the ball and peoples feet.

Americans need to man up and call it something else. Carrysortaball? That's not football. Find a sexier marketing name for it and let the majority of the world quit laughing at us calling it 'soccer'.
Or just call it armoredwankball. Some guy ran an article about how much action occurs in american football. The average 'player' - 'ran' about 12 minutes over the course of the entire game. The rest of the time they stood around with their hands on their hips.

I'd rather watch grass diving. At least the farkers RUN.

kenwoodzanussi: I think it's funny to see all Europeans here trying to convince Americans that football (soccer) is great. But if Americans really decided to agree, they would likely trounce all other teams in the world, and the rest of the World (tm) would hate them for it.

/ Do not wake the sleeping bear
// India(?)

Americans seem to overestimate both how much other countries would care about them winning a few more matches and how much their economic power would matter. The most successful team in recent times and over the last 60 years has been Brazil. In the last couple of years Spain has emerged as the likely best team in the world (though they haven't been near winning the world cup). These are hardly economic superpowers. Football (soccer) is extremely low-tech and the countries with greater spontaneous grass-roots participation are usually on top. Kids playing in the street, jumpers for goalposts and all that.

Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Beating Spain 2-0 was a pretty big upset really.

They're current European Champions, and are the 2nd ranked team in the world (behind Brazil) and they actually fielded their full team.

I've been saying since the USA world cup that if the USA turns into a soccer playing nation, we're all farked. There's such a large population base to pull from and the training resources are second to none, that the USA will start to dominate world football within 10-15 years from now.

It's not like "soccer" doesn't get played over there, it's just that you don't treat it that seriously. If the USA even put 1/2 of the effort into it that it does with college football they'll get to the final of the world cup within 10 years.

darkscout: Maybe we should propose this scoring to 'americanize' soccer.
4 points: 1/2 way line or back
3 points: Outside of the PK box
2 points: Inside the PK Box

How about no.

Changes were usggested prior to the USA world cup. IIRC thing like limiting players to which portions fo the field they can go into. i.e. defenders were only allowed in their own half, attackers not allowed into their own area. The people who suggested these were rightfully laughed at.

theinsultabot9000: you know i remember a thread a while back in which some European fellows were trying to once and for all prove that futbol was better and more widely viewed then football, and there proof was one of those google fights with futbol on one end and American football on the other. then the whole thing crashed and burned when someone (correctly) pointed out that Americans dont call it that, they just call it football, so instead they tried fifa vs the NFL and NFL won handily, followed by much European WHARRBLEGHARBBLING.


hilarious.

Uhm, so you beat the UK?

Good for you. :)

Bill Frist: Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Good one!

CaptMacMillian: While even I doubt that soccer will overtake American football soccer is certainly on the rise everywhere in the United States, I'm living proof.

Why the FARK didn't someone tell me CaptMacMillian liked soccer. I missed this revolution and now I'm years behind the rest of the country.


/Soccer players are the biggest pussies ever.
//Proof 1 (new window)
///Proof 2 (new window)
////There's lots more. But you get the point.

Ok... I'll be the first to say it.



I'm ashamed at you farkers...

Simpsons said everything needed to be said:

"Center, back to Winger, back to Center, holds, Holds It, HOLDS IT!!"

/would be better with pic of broadcaster out of his chair and on the glass of the booth

or



/Loves me some football....both kinds..."soccer" more though.

ONE AND A HALF MONTHS TO GO.....SUCK IT HATERS!!

SwallowTheKnife: CaptMacMillian: While even I doubt that soccer will overtake American football soccer is certainly on the rise everywhere in the United States, I'm living proof.

Why the FARK didn't someone tell me CaptMacMillian liked soccer. I missed this revolution and now I'm years behind the rest of the country.

What the hell are you going on about?

Pinko_Commie: Fano: bwesb: I'll settle for just a sport that Americans can play.

We had a big upset the other day and were close to beating the Brazilians, right?

/I don't think Europeans have thought this through. They don't REALLY want Americans to turn their effort and money into soccer, do they?

Beating Spain 2-0 was a pretty big upset really.

They're current European Champions, and are the 2nd ranked team in the world (behind Brazil) and they actually fielded their full team.

I've been saying since the USA world cup that if the USA turns into a soccer playing nation, we're all farked. There's such a large population base to pull from and the training resources are second to none, that the USA will start to dominate world football within 10-15 years from now.

It's not like "soccer" doesn't get played over there, it's just that you don't treat it that seriously. If the USA even put 1/2 of the effort into it that it does with college football they'll get to the final of the world cup within 10 years.

That's what I was saying...if becoming a professional soccer player were the goal of all the little boys around America, the US team would be incredible.

I'm no soccer fan, but I love watching it in other countries with people who care. It seems a lot of people on Fark just really don't understand American football though (not directing this at you, Pinko). It's a game of strategy, holding your position and conquering the territory of your opponent. Why is there punting? Because the goal isn't necessarily to score with every offensive possession...it's to hold on to your territory and advance as far onto theirs as you can get.

Personally, I think the most "exciting" game in the world is playoff hockey, but football and all of its macho "I will take this field by force and cunning" chest thumping is in our American blood. Then again, my livelihood depends on the success of the NFL, so I may be biased...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounders Much more similar to baseball than cricket. And while I much prefer cricket to baseball, I enjoy going to the ballpark every now and then..

TonnageVT: ONE AND A HALF MONTHS TO GO.....SUCK IT HATERS!!

I've got a good feeling about Valencia! Hopefully with Ronaldo gone SAF will play Rooney and Berbatov up front and return Anderson to his more familiar attacking midfield role. Hargreaves, Fletcher, Carrick are the holding midfielders, let Ando get back to his favoured position, the one that caught people's eye in the first place.

As long as we shove Liverpool's lucky 4-1 win down their throats I'll be happy!

The Envoy: Bill Frist: Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Good one!

Association football (soccer) in its modern form began with the formation of the Football Association in 1863 and the promulgation of its rules (earlier rules permitted carrying the ball and tackling, and would not be recognizable as modern soccer).

American football in its modern form began with a series of games played between Harvard University and McGill University in 1874. Unless you consider 11 years to be a huge historical difference.

So yeah, both sports really developed around the same time.

Chelle82: Roger Arseways: Chelle82: Granted, I'm doing an assload of speculating here. And I have the benefit of never being able to be proved wrong as soccer will probably never take hold in American culture the way football and basketball have. At least not in my lifetime.

You're from Buffalo -- did you see that the Habs overpaid for Spacek?

I will miss doing impressions of him, but what the hell is up with the Habs this week? Are they paying these guys with IOUs?

/That's just as good as money, sir. Those are IOUs!

Not just the Habs. What the hell money is Chicago spending? 12 year contract for Hossa? How the hell are they going to re-sign Toews and Kane next summer. The Hawks are going to be in serious cap hell.

I'm sad to see Spacek go, but not terribly surprised. I guess we'll see if Montador can bring some sandpaper to the blueline. But in all honesty, I'm more excited to see Tyler Myers make his NHL debut. That kid's a monster.

The Envoy: Bill Frist: Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Good one!

The ancient form of "football" almost certainly resembled rubgy (and thus arguably american football) more than soccer)


In england there were tons of different versions of football, again most more like rubgy. In the mid-19th century efforts were made to make more strict and universal rules. Early codes were drawn up in cambridge in 1848.... but it didn't really become soccer as we know it until much later (you could still run with the ball in the Football Association's rules in the 1870s and beyond). The IFAB wasn't formed until the 1880s.

Over in the Atlantic, the first intercollegiate match that resembled american football was in 1869. The "rule standardization" happened in the 1873-1880 according to Wiki, which basically predates the real standardization in England.

"but... but.... mommy told me the cavemen played soccer!!!!"

Doc Daneeka: Association football (soccer) in its modern form began with the formation of the Football Association in 1863 and the promulgation of its rules (earlier rules permitted carrying the ball and tackling, and would not be recognizable as modern soccer).

American football in its modern form began with a series of games played between Harvard University and McGill University in 1874. Unless you consider 11 years to be a huge historical difference.

So yeah, both sports really developed around the same time.

I was talking about the concept of football the sport, not the modern iteration that is soccer, I got my terms wrong. We can go all the way back to the 12th century in England, London and Ashbourne, although those games resembled a mass brawl, for some of the earliest "organised" games. The reason that it developed so early is the same as the reason for it being the most popular sport on the planet: all you need is something vaguely round. From coconuts to pig's bladders to rattan, as long as you can kick it you can have a game.

The MLS sucks and it's basically a 3rd rate league.

That is all.

I enjoy watching most sports in moderation with maybe an exception for baseball (I'd rather play it). I respect the skill and the talent required to play every sport... just some aren't that fun to watch. (Some of it has to do with piss poor leadership and marketing, game times etc.. *cough* *cough* hockey)

The thing that irks me about Soccer is how flopping on the ground, to me, seems to be an integral part of the game, hell it's basically a form of strategy.

Play-off NBA Basketball: the refs call less fouls and let the game get more physical
Play-off NFL Football: the refs call less fouls and let the games get more intense and physical
Play-off/Tournament International Soccer: The players still flop to draw fouls.

I have no problem with Soccer the sport, but too often in the last world cup players would flop at the first sign of contact, or take an extra dive to make contact look worse than it was. I realize this happens in other sports but it's most apparent in Soccer. Also I can't speak for Soccer personally, but I've gone to plenty of Spurs games and seen San Antonio fans boo their own players when they do an especially poor job of acting like they took a monster hit. Which goes with the mentality to the sport. Amercan Football might not be anymore physically demanding than Soccer, but you can be darned sure no linebacker will ever flop on a hit just to draw a penalty...

Also the advertisements all over uniforms is annoying and makes me think European soccer is a giant sell-out. The NFL, NBA, MLB, etc.. are all super strict on what kind of stuff you can have on your uniform which I think is pretty classy as opposed to I don't know a giant "AIG" logo on the front of your uniform with no team name in-sight.

The Envoy: I was talking about the concept of football the sport, not the modern iteration that is soccer, I got my terms wrong. We can go all the way back to the 12th century in England, London and Ashbourne, although those games resembled a mass brawl, for some of the earliest "organised" games. The reason that it developed so early is the same as the reason for it being the most popular sport on the planet: all you need is something vaguely round. From coconuts to pig's bladders to rattan, as long as you can kick it you can have a game.

"Football" games have been played in Europe for centuries, agreed.

All modern codes of football (soccer, American/Canadian football, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Aussie Rules, Gaelic football) equally evolved from those common antecedents. They didn't start to diverge into the games we know today until the mid-late 19th Century, as I said.

Association football/soccer doesn't have any greater claim to that centuries of history than the other football codes do. In fact, as I said, before 1863 at the formation of the Football Association and its rules, England had been playing a form of football that more closely resembled rugby than soccer.

Listen, Bill Frist and all you soccer haters.

We don't care.

We simply like soccer, sorry.

We like the low scoring, we like ties, we like the pussy players, we like the acting, we like the flopping, we like the bad calls, we like the few scoring chances, we like the pointless passes in midfield, we like the vuvuzelas, we like penalties and we like everything else about it.

Yes, we even like that you don't like it.

Thank you.

TonnageVT: ONE AND A HALF MONTHS TO GO.....SUCK IT HATERS!!

The Envoy: I was talking about the concept of football the sport, not the modern iteration that is soccer, I got my terms wrong. We can go all the way back to the 12th century in England, London and Ashbourne, although those games resembled a mass brawl, for some of the earliest "organised" games.

So game that more clearly resembeled American Football than Soccer are evidence that soccer is older?

yeah... uh... about that.

As I said, all of these football codes like rugby, american and association developed at roughly the same time. Soccer probably actually came the furtherest and is LEAST like the ancient versions.

The probelm is the money involved. For making the Champions League final a club can expect to earn £20million in TV rights alone. That's to say nothing of the merchandise. For that amount of money clubs will condone most actions to win, and that includes diving. Much like you, I'm sick of it, but the FA and FIFA don't seem to be at all bothered by it, which is irritating. If they started fining players and their clubs for it you'd soon see it decrease. The thing that REALLY bothers me about it is that a lot of times they'd have got a larger advantage from staying on their feet.

Regarding the sponsorship, I think a lot of it is down to the fact that football (as an Englishman I refuse to call it "soccer"!) has a truly global audience whereas The NFL, MLB and MLS' audiences are mostly domestic. I would wager that an increase in audience would see an increase in sponsorship deals there too. Oh, and every club has their logo on their chest!

Bill Frist: So game that more clearly resembeled American Football than Soccer are evidence that soccer is older?

yeah... uh... about that.

As I said, all of these football codes like rugby, american and association developed at roughly the same time. Soccer probably actually came the furtherest and is LEAST like the ancient versions.

Are you aware that rugby was developed as an off-shoot of soccer and not the other way around? Just because the level of physical contact was more akin to today's American Football does not mean the tactics are the same. One involves kicking, one handling. The advent of picking up the ball and running with it came much later than the 12th Century. Look up William Webb Ellis.

ggggbabybabybaby: The NFL, NBA, MLB, etc.. are all super strict on what kind of stuff you can have on your uniform which I think is pretty classy as opposed to I don't know a giant "AIG" logo on the front of your uniform with no team name in-sight.

I agree, but all those leagues will do it in a heartbeat if they ever think they can get away with it. Remember that Yankees exhibition game in Japan several years ago? The players had "RICOH" (I think) stamped on their batting helmets, and they were obviously just testing the waters to see how loudly the fans back home would howl.

Anyway, I don't understand the soccer hate. It's a game with great athleticism, fierce club and international rivalries, a fascinating and often quirky history, fanatical supporters who sing hilariously foul-mouthed chants, and Andres Cantor (GOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!). If you don't like it, don't watch, but the constant need to denigrate it is bizarre. I don't watch hockey, but I don't feel compelled to clutter hockey threads with "LOL WAKE ME UP WHEN THE ICE WRESTLING IS OVER!11!!" or some such. It's your loss, soccer haters.

/I like American football, too.
//Also, COME ON YOU SPURS!


///HOTspur

Doc Daneeka: The Envoy: Bill Frist: Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Good one!

Association football (soccer) in its modern form began with the formation of the Football Association in 1863 and the promulgation of its rules (earlier rules permitted carrying the ball and tackling, and would not be recognizable as modern soccer).

American football in its modern form began with a series of games played between Harvard University and McGill University in 1874. Unless you consider 11 years to be a huge historical difference.

So yeah, both sports really developed around the same time.

That's kind of false - the formation of the Football Association happened long after soccer/ football / whatever existed:

Link (new window)

fo_sho!: Doc Daneeka: The Envoy: Bill Frist: Soccer does not predate American football, or not by any significant time. They both developed pretty much simultaneously.

Good one!

Association football (soccer) in its modern form began with the formation of the Football Association in 1863 and the promulgation of its rules (earlier rules permitted carrying the ball and tackling, and would not be recognizable as modern soccer).

American football in its modern form began with a series of games played between Harvard University and McGill University in 1874. Unless you consider 11 years to be a huge historical difference.

So yeah, both sports really developed around the same time.

That's kind of false - the formation of the Football Association happened long after soccer/ football / whatever existed:

Link (new window)

Well, yes and no.

"Football" pre-existed that time, but I'm not sure if you can say that association football/soccer did, in a recognizable form.

Early football games played by many different rules, some which emphasized carrying the ball and more closely resembled rugby, and some which emphasized kicking the ball. The various forms of football didn't start to officially codify their rules until the mid-late 19th Century.

Soccer and all other forms of football evolved from these early precursor football games. They all have a claim to that history. Its pointless to try to argue that soccer predates other forms of football by Centuries, when they all evolved from the same common ancestry.

The Envoy: Are you aware that rugby was developed as an off-shoot of soccer and not the other way around? Just because the level of physical contact was more akin to today's American Football does not mean the tactics are the same.

Uh, I'm not aware of it because it is not true. As you yourself noted, the "common ancestor" of hte various football codes was more akin to rugby than it was to modern soccer.

Anyway, I wasn't arguing that the ancient football game in england WAS american football, obviously it was not (again, it was more like rugby) but it was more similar to american football than soccer in all liklihood.

Hey jerks, stop arguing, the first football game in America was between Rutgers and Princeton, it was a hybrid of modern day American football, association football and rugy. Look it up, I'm at work right now, but can't.


COME ON UNITED!!!

PS....The only football that matters come August.

For those earlier in the thread complaining about football's lack of contact, I just wanted to submit some photos of folks getting stapled shut on the sideline:



- although she actually got stitched and then came back on.

oh, and here is video Eddie Lewis getting TKO'd against Guatemala:
Link (new window)

One thing that could help curb diving in soccer would be a video replay system. I know it's not really feasible with the speed of the game, but you could always fine the shiat out of the player later on or impose a red or yellow card that could keep them out of the next game. This may not be the best idea, but I feel that dives degrade soccer and need to be addressed. I'm looking at you, especially, Italy.

Came for a Dan Rydell quote, but evidently I have to do everything myself.

"We'll bring you the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat, and because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie."

And:
"I know we promised you soccer highlights, so let me just tell you that Columbus beat Miami one-nothing, Dallas beat San Jose one-nothing, Chicago beat Colorado one-nothing, and New England beat Kansas City 2-1 in an offensive slugfest."

Bill Frist: Uh, I'm not aware of it because it is not true. As you yourself noted, the "common ancestor" of hte various football codes was more akin to rugby than it was to modern soccer.

William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball and ran with it instead of kicking it during a game of football at his school. That school? Rugby. There are further versions where he sat on the ball first, hence the odd-shaped ball, but these are most likely a myth.

However, it's disingenuous of me to hark back to a sport's very beginnings and then, when discussing another sport hark back to it's relatively modern iteration rather than the common ancestor, so I do concede that point.

I do think that experience of the game is key to enjoying it so much. Most kids in the UK play football and grow up with the game, playing in local teams etc. It's when you get to the early teens that those with real talent begin to stand out and then, as one without that talent, it becomes apparent how difficult it is to play to a high level. It may look dull to you as teams are fairly evenly matched, but having played against(and been thrashed by) a professional team's junior squad, believe me the gulf is enormous!

Finally, in my bid to turn you, search these out on youtube. I would link, but it's banned at work.
Thierry Henry v Manchester Utd.
Rooney v Newcastle
Le Tissier v Newcastle
Gascoigne v Holland, 1996
Cantona v Sunderland

All are great goals showing fantastic skill. Henry and Le Tissier in particular.

Xlr8urfark: One thing that could help curb diving in soccer would be a video replay system. I know it's not really feasible with the speed of the game, but you could always fine the shiat out of the player later on or impose a red or yellow card that could keep them out of the next game. This may not be the best idea, but I feel that dives degrade soccer and need to be addressed. I'm looking at you, especially, Italy.

It's within the power of the refs to not reward diving. They just need to do it. Some leagues are better than others. Generally, there's less tolerance for diving in the Northern European leagues than in the Southern European and Latin American leagues. I haven't watched much MLS, so I'm not sure about the situation here. I've watched my local USL team, though, and haven't seen a whole lot of operatic diving, but maybe that's because most of the players are pretty young and haven't learned how to work the refs. (Or maybe the coach, who is English, frowns upon such shenanigans.)

Renart: Xlr8urfark: One thing that could help curb diving in soccer would be a video replay system. I know it's not really feasible with the speed of the game, but you could always fine the shiat out of the player later on or impose a red or yellow card that could keep them out of the next game. This may not be the best idea, but I feel that dives degrade soccer and need to be addressed. I'm looking at you, especially, Italy.

It's within the power of the refs to not reward diving. They just need to do it. Some leagues are better than others. Generally, there's less tolerance for diving in the Northern European leagues than in the Southern European and Latin American leagues. I haven't watched much MLS, so I'm not sure about the situation here. I've watched my local USL team, though, and haven't seen a whole lot of operatic diving, but maybe that's because most of the players are pretty young and haven't learned how to work the refs. (Or maybe the coach, who is English, frowns upon such shenanigans.)

It seems that a lot of the time, the ref will catch the obvious dives, but soccer has gotten so fast now that it's almost impossible to catch somebody diving if they do it correctly. For the viewer at home, it is usually painfully obvious on the slow motion replay. I just want there to be some system of accountability, so that players will have to keep the idea of being fined or carded after the game in the back of their mind. One of the reasons I tend to watch the EPL more than La Liga or Serie A is because diving seems to be done less(plus the game is more physical). What really bugs me is early in a game, you will see a player take contact while dribbling past someone, and they will fight hard to stay standing, showing the ref that they are "not trying to dive". Then, in the next half, you see them get brushed on the arm in the box, and flop around on the ground like a fish out of water to get the PK.

dnrta: what is a 'soccer'?

T.rex: dnrta: what is a 'soccer'?

It's highly intelligent, you won't understand it.

Why Hockey is So Much Better Than Football.

1. In hockey, you can have consecutive play for minutes on end - no interruptions. In football, you get 5-seconds of play followed by minutes of...nothing.

2a. Skaters skate faster than any football player can run. Hockey is therefore, by definition, FASTER than football.

2b. A 100+ mph puck versus a ball being thrown...which is faster here?

3. Hits are far more violent in hockey than in football.

4. Hockey players can decide to drop the gloves and fight bare-fisted. This is cool. This is VERY cool.

5. There are no ties in hockey. Ever.

6. Scoring is higher in hockey than football. If you disagree, go to a hockey database and translate every goal into 7-points.

7. A scoring opportunity - exciting in it's own right - can occur every few seconds in hockey. In football, scoring is often a long, wholly predicable plog down the field.

8. Sudden death overtime.

9. Back-to-back games on consecutive nights...builds rivalry. In football...17 weeks to play 16 games? Please.

10. Last, but not least...football is totally gay. Do you see where the QB puts his hands? And "tight ends"...seriously? Hockey is the complete opposite - truly the sport of hetero males.

You know what's also one of the great things about soccer?

I'll still be playing every week when I'm 40.

DaCaptain19: Why Hockey is So Much Better Than Football.

Please tell me that list was written by a 14 year old "hardcore gamer" after chugging two litres of mountain dew.

CaptMacMillian: You know what's also one of the great things about soccer?

I'll still be playing every week when I'm 40.

I've seen 70 year old men show up for hockey skate & shoot.

//And don't get me started on the golf course.

DaCaptain19: Why Hockey is So Much Better Than Football.

1. In hockey, you can have consecutive play for minutes on end - no interruptions. In football, you get 5-seconds of play followed by minutes of...nothing.

2a. Skaters skate faster than any football player can run. Hockey is therefore, by definition, FASTER than football.

2b. A 100+ mph puck versus a ball being thrown...which is faster here?

3. Hits are far more violent in hockey than in football.

4. Hockey players can decide to drop the gloves and fight bare-fisted. This is cool. This is VERY cool.

5. There are no ties in hockey. Ever.

6. Scoring is higher in hockey than football. If you disagree, go to a hockey database and translate every goal into 7-points.

7. A scoring opportunity - exciting in it's own right - can occur every few seconds in hockey. In football, scoring is often a long, wholly predicable plog down the field.

8. Sudden death overtime.

9. Back-to-back games on consecutive nights...builds rivalry. In football...17 weeks to play 16 games? Please.

10. Last, but not least...football is totally gay. Do you see where the QB puts his hands? And "tight ends"...seriously? Hockey is the complete opposite - truly the sport of hetero males.

Fail.


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

DaCaptain19: Why Hockey is So Much Better Than Football.



Anyway, I've lived most of my life in parts of California and Texas where it hardly ever gets below freezing. Hockey is always going to seem somewhat foreign to me, like elephant polo or something like that.

TonnageVT: PS....The only football that matters come August.

And at this rate Real Madrid will also have signed Ribery, Alonso, Rooney, Lampard, the ghost of di Stefano, an F-22, Tesla's Death-ray and the rights to all players that have ever been born in Portugal or Brazil.

We used to have season tix for front row bleachers
right behind Bonds,
but you couldn't even heckle without being removed.

I'm also not a fan of watching 350lb felons sit in an oxygen tent.

And basketball isn't even a sport in my opinion.
Each team is winning a hundred points in a game?
I'd rather watch old footage of Mcenroe screaming at the umps.
At least that was interesting.

Soccer has everything...
good guys vs bad guys
acting
constant activity
nutty fans
national pride

and as much as I love hockey, the soccer refs get demolished waaaaay more.

Baseball came from England, and we seemed to accept it pretty well

I tried watching soccer recently (I think it was Italy and someone). I changed the channel after watching 5 dives in the span of 5 minutes where the guy didn't even come close to touching the other guy, yet he was writhing on the ground. Play stopped and they gave the ball to the other guys almost every time.

No thanks.