It's not the BBC, but trading standards officers that are upset and that's because it's illegal.

FTA...The law states that it is illegal to sell a knife or bladed article to anyone aged under 18, with businesses and staff facing a fine of up to £5,000 or six months in prison for doing so.

In some countries, they just shove one of those into your hand as soon as it pops out of your mom's vag. And those places are AWESOME.

Not a lot of baseball bats in England, Subby.

Um, i don't sell knives to kids under 18 either subby. Why is that bad? I'd rather not have their parents come back and stab me with it, and I don't want to be liable for what they do.

I fail to see how this is a fail.

When I was roughly 10 years old, I always bought machete's from Mexico and brought them back home to south texas. My parents never cared, nor did the border patrol agents. Of course they were usually as dull as a baseball bat until I sharpened them on my dad's axe grinder.

I thought baseball bats were considered weapons in England.

I say, old chap, if you intend to employ Machete to apprehend the arrant hooligan, do make sure that the arrant hooligan isn't YOU!

adamgreeney: I fail to see how this is a fail.

It's a coping mechanism deployed by some article submitters who can't wrap their heads around the idea that an entire country doesn't want rampant gun ownership.

Just smile and nod.

Some days I really think that the only difference between Fark and the right-wing gutter press is that the Sun will still show bare tits.

Soon people there will be killing each other with pointy sticks. Maybe they'll ban trees next.

thalassatx: Not a lot of baseball bats in England, Subby.

Cricket?

snuff3r: It's a coping mechanism deployed by some article submitters who can't wrap their heads around the idea that an entire country doesn't want rampant gun ownership.

The Brits founded a global empire based upon guns with sharp pointy things on the end of them. Now, they can't own knives. No wonder that their main exports seems to be bad teeth and inedible food.

Trading standards officers have called for a ban on online knife sales after a machete was sold to a 15-year-old for £1.50 over the internet.

This is not 'FAIL'.

This is a problem worthwhile sorting.

dudemanbro: Soon people there will be killing each other with pointy sticks.

SHADDAP!

I bought a chainsaw when I was 13.

You know, I never got the point of knives having an age limit on them. If you really want a knife, butcher knives have no age limit (at least where I live). Hell, who doesn't live in a place with knives in the kitchen? A really sharp pair of scissors would probably work just as well to stab somebody. If you really wanna go on a stabbing spree, it's going to be hard for anybody to stop you.

Have to wonder... are kids even able to mow the lawns over there?

I got carded at Walmart to buy an axe (I'm 30). Now, with said axe, I had two bags of soil, three bags of garden top, a gopher punch and various other "DOING shiat IN THE YARD, LADY" stuff....got it all ringed up and she asked me for ID.

I didn't go all "whatever admendment protects me from buying an axe without showing ID" on her, just said "oh, cool.." and showed my ID and left thinking "hey, i must be a good looking 30!"

I dont really agree with it, but I understand. And now I got a cool red handled axe that makes me whistle a nick cave song everytime I heft it.

TheMega Amen. I mow my lawn...with a bazooka. Yee-haw.
submitter: tit.

I'm sorry Britain, your citizens are dying via butter knives and spatulas in 3.....2.......

thalassatx: Not a lot of baseball bats in England, Subby.

Francis Begbie would like to introduce you to "the discipline ay the basebaw bat."

dudemanbro: Soon people there will be killing each other with pointy sticks. Maybe they'll ban trees next.

Potential murder weapons:

When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet, but I could take a short walk uptown to Whitehead's Cutlery shop where you could buy any knife you wanted.

They had not only machetes, but replica Rambo knives (those were popular then), switch blades, even Samurai swords. Almost any kind of knife you wanted. They even had Chinese throwing stars. I bought lots of those.

gee. I wonder what sporting utilities does a machete have

Lenin: I got carded at Walmart to buy an axe (I'm 30). Now, with said axe, I had two bags of soil, three bags of garden top, a gopher punch and various other "DOING shiat IN THE YARD, LADY" stuff....got it all ringed up and she asked me for ID.

I didn't go all "whatever admendment protects me from buying an axe without showing ID" on her, just said "oh, cool.." and showed my ID and left thinking "hey, i must be a good looking 30!"

I dont really agree with it, but I understand. And now I got a cool red handled axe that makes me whistle a nick cave song everytime I heft it.

Dude....I got carded last year at Wal-Mart for buying an R-rated movie.....and I was 37 at the time! And I had hair that would rival Captain Stubings!! Tell you what...these clerks should be bartenders/bouncers....

Way to go, Brits!!!!! Now you are officially paranoid as the US Govt..........

Gordon Bennett: Some days I really think that the only difference between Fark and the right-wing gutter press is that the Sun will still show bare tits.

Heh heh. Good one.

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Now, they can't own knives.

My kitchen says otherwise. So does my toolbox, and my camping gear, oh and the mini swiss-army knife I carry on my keyring.

Lunakki: You know, I never got the point of knives having an age limit on them. If you really want a knife, butcher knives have no age limit (at least where I live). Hell, who doesn't live in a place with knives in the kitchen? A really sharp pair of scissors would probably work just as well to stab somebody. If you really wanna go on a stabbing spree, it's going to be hard for anybody to stop you.

Butcher knives have the same limit, there isn't some arbitrary rule about "scary" knives (like the US and its Scary Assault Weapon ban ), if you're under 18 you can't buy a machete and you can't buy a paring knife, or anything in between. Probably mainly because of your argument, you can stab someone with any sort of knife, and to be honest, if you're wandering around with a 9 inch butcher knife in your pocket, it's not as if you're carrying it on the off chance of doing a little bit of food preparation at the side of the road.

Lenin: I got carded at Walmart to buy an axe (I'm 30). Now, with said axe, I had two bags of soil, three bags of garden top, a gopher punch and various other "DOING shiat IN THE YARD, LADY" stuff....got it all ringed up and she asked me for ID.

Was "various other" rubber gloves, duct tape, a ball gag, lube and a shovel? :-) I suspect they wanted to get a record of who you are for when the police investigation into the missing prostitutes starts.

Also, gopher punch? Is that like a donkey punch but with buck teeth? :-)

Raging_Rabbit: Way to go, Brits!!!!! Now you are officially paranoid as the US Govt..........

hear hear. Any country where I cant walk around carrying a giant blade in public is no country for me

Raging_Rabbit: Lenin: I got carded at Walmart to buy an axe (I'm 30). Now, with said axe, I had two bags of soil, three bags of garden top, a gopher punch and various other "DOING shiat IN THE YARD, LADY" stuff....got it all ringed up and she asked me for ID.

I didn't go all "whatever admendment protects me from buying an axe without showing ID" on her, just said "oh, cool.." and showed my ID and left thinking "hey, i must be a good looking 30!"

I dont really agree with it, but I understand. And now I got a cool red handled axe that makes me whistle a nick cave song everytime I heft it.

Dude....I got carded last year at Wal-Mart for buying an R-rated movie.....and I was 37 at the time! And I had hair that would rival Captain Stubings!! Tell you what...these clerks should be bartenders/bouncers....

Wal-Mart treats its employees like shiat for the most part, and takes every opportunity to rid itself of "troublemakers". That's why the staff that's left has that dead eyed zombie look, and will mindlessly ask for ID whenever the register tells them too. They even punch in the real birth date, instead of something easy like 7/7/77.

Pinko_Commie: Gordon Bennett: Some days I really think that the only difference between Fark and the right-wing gutter press is that the Sun will still show bare tits.

Heh heh. Good one.

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Now, they can't own knives.

My kitchen says otherwise. So does my toolbox, and my camping gear, oh and the mini swiss-army knife I carry on my keyring.

Lunakki: You know, I never got the point of knives having an age limit on them. If you really want a knife, butcher knives have no age limit (at least where I live). Hell, who doesn't live in a place with knives in the kitchen? A really sharp pair of scissors would probably work just as well to stab somebody. If you really wanna go on a stabbing spree, it's going to be hard for anybody to stop you.

Butcher knives have the same limit, there isn't some arbitrary rule about "scary" knives (like the US and its Scary Assault Weapon ban ), if you're under 18 you can't buy a machete and you can't buy a paring knife, or anything in between. Probably mainly because of your argument, you can stab someone with any sort of knife, and to be honest, if you're wandering around with a 9 inch butcher knife in your pocket, it's not as if you're carrying it on the off chance of doing a little bit of food preparation at the side of the road.

LOL....yet at the same time here in Texas, if you have a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket, they can arrest you for potential cattle-rustling. It's an 100+-year old law. If I cattle-rustled, I would do it with a farking truck-trailer combo and be in and out of there REAL quick. (Take note FBI, USDA, CIA, or whomever your retarded agency happens to be.....I just might become a threat...and all I can say to that is F**K YOU!!!!!) F**K the gov't and you too.....Come to my house and I will exclusively EXERCISE my 2nd amendment....hear me f**kers?????!!!.....

Raging_Rabbit: Pinko_Commie: Gordon Bennett: Some days I really think that the only difference between Fark and the right-wing gutter press is that the Sun will still show bare tits.

Heh heh. Good one.

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Now, they can't own knives.

My kitchen says otherwise. So does my toolbox, and my camping gear, oh and the mini swiss-army knife I carry on my keyring.

Lunakki: You know, I never got the point of knives having an age limit on them. If you really want a knife, butcher knives have no age limit (at least where I live). Hell, who doesn't live in a place with knives in the kitchen? A really sharp pair of scissors would probably work just as well to stab somebody. If you really wanna go on a stabbing spree, it's going to be hard for anybody to stop you.

Butcher knives have the same limit, there isn't some arbitrary rule about "scary" knives (like the US and its Scary Assault Weapon ban ), if you're under 18 you can't buy a machete and you can't buy a paring knife, or anything in between. Probably mainly because of your argument, you can stab someone with any sort of knife, and to be honest, if you're wandering around with a 9 inch butcher knife in your pocket, it's not as if you're carrying it on the off chance of doing a little bit of food preparation at the side of the road.

LOL....yet at the same time here in Texas, if you have a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket, they can arrest you for potential cattle-rustling. It's an 100+-year old law. If I cattle-rustled, I would do it with a farking truck-trailer combo and be in and out of there REAL quick. (Take note FBI, USDA, CIA, or whomever your retarded agency happens to be.....I just might become a threat...and all I can say to that is F**K YOU!!!!!) F**K the gov't and you too.....Come to my house and I will exclusively EXERCISE my 2nd amendment....hear me f**kers?????!!!.....

Wow....guess I've had enough to drink tonite......

I can't help but think of all the violently crashed parties and general chav mayhem in the UK and wonder if the sale of knives is really the problem.

/I also can't help but wonder how many parents would look on in horror as their million dollar town home is trashed by hoodlums were they in possession of a pump-action 12 gauge at the time

Raging_Rabbit: Wow....guess I've had enough to drink tonite......

I'm not sure, that was close to a great rant. A couple more shots and you'll have reached the perfect level of incoherence.

For the record I was particularly fond of 'I will exclusively EXERCISE my 2nd amendment', I've got an image of some baffled gov employee watching you run around with a piece of paper on a leash. Jump amendment, jump!

Wow....guess I've had enough to drink tonite......

Bah. That's quitter talk.

/drinking is the only known cure for my insomnia
//hooray for castle laws

misanthropic1: I can't help but think of all the violently crashed parties and general chav mayhem in the UK and wonder if the sale of knives is really the problem.

/I also can't help but wonder how many parents would look on in horror as their million dollar town home is trashed by hoodlums were they in possession of a pump-action 12 gauge at the time

Golf clap, sir...

*CLAP CLAP*

I heard an amusing story tonight at my job.....one of waitresses had to leave early to go and check out her fireworks booth. A couple of years ago (during the drought), it was illegal to bring fireworks back into city limits after they had been purchased outside said city limits. Due to the fire ban, all fireworks was treated as illegal......Well, how the hell do you light said illegal fireworks? Matches? A lighter? Those weren't banned, but the fireworks were....Hello!!!! God, this farking nation is stupid and death to those that run it!!!!! I hate this country and the gov't needs to be overthrown!!

Raging_Rabbit: Way to go, Brits!!!!! Now you are officially paranoid as the US Govt..........

Absolutely. I mean, what else is a 15-year-old going to use a machete for other than hacking his way through the dense undergrowth commonly found in our urban centres? farking paranoid government.

DancingJester: Raging_Rabbit: Wow....guess I've had enough to drink tonite......

I'm not sure, that was close to a great rant. A couple more shots and you'll have reached the perfect level of incoherence.

For the record I was particularly fond of 'I will exclusively EXERCISE my 2nd amendment', I've got an image of some baffled gov employee watching you run around with a piece of paper on a leash. Jump amendment, jump!

No, no. You have to stay awake for another 4 and a half hours before I become incoherent. (I am a bartender) But if you have a video of said gov't employee waving around papers (not Monty Python, not obscure enough), I would welcome it.

Absolutely. I mean, what else is a 15-year-old going to use a machete for other than hacking his way through the dense undergrowth commonly found in our urban centres? farking paranoid government.

When I was 13-15 living in a dense urban center, that is exactly what I used mine for, yeah, seriously. And if I had possessed the gumption to kill somebody, I have no doubt I could have found another (and probably better) way; machetes are hard to conceal and leave a mess.

In the US you can buy a shotgun or an assault rifle when you're under 18. My buddy bought an SKS at the Portland expo center when he was 14, and his dad was nowhere near him. He was with me, about 200 yards away, and we were looking at Desert Eagles.

I don't know what to say about England's laws. You can't have guns, and kids can't have anything that could potentially harm anybody ever apparently, but that hasn't stopped gangs of teenagers from stomping people to death on the sidewalk outside their homes. Not even the ubiquitous security cameras on their tiny little island have prevented horrific violent crimes from happening on a daily basis.

In my opinion, if you fear for your life while you're being pummeled by a gang of thugs, exposing your firearm would be a very effective deterrent. And for home defense, nothing soils the drawers of your intruder more than the racking of a 12 gauge. Nothing.

I will never back down from the statement that an armed society is a polite society. In my opinion, the average American's only weakness in public is when he forgets his sidearm.

They always say you should call the police, but it turns out they don't respond. Taking the law into your own hands is irresponsible and reckless, but if your safety is being threatened, we are given all the options we need to defend ourselves.

The old UK Army boxer in the other thread is a great story, but what if his wife had been the one who woke up instead of him? She'd be bleeding out right now, and that smug looking douchebag would be off down the street with their valuables.

It's a coping mechanism deployed by some article submitters who can't wrap their heads around the idea that an entire country doesn't want rampant gun ownership.

No, it is a reaction to the fact that some Americans on Fark look on at the UK with shock and horror because we see our country sliding in that direction. What comes out of the rhetoric sounds like insulting claptrap (because it often is), but this is really driven by fear.

The funny thing is that I love the English people I know. The tend to be very amusing, intelligent and friendly with a lot of caracter. But I read news out of England and it horrifies me:

- Town councils that are just over the top with strictly enforced, utterly petty rules. Like a giant, government backed HOA.

- A massive surveillance apparatus that seems to have done little to secure the nation while robbing UK subjects of their privacy to a shocking level.

- A (and I hate the use the phrase, but it is apt here) nanny state mentality with massive regulation of everything and total bans on things like knives and guns out of some false fear that this will protect the citizens.

- A complete loss of the basic human right of self defense that is produced from an alluring mix of making illegal the means (i.e. gun control), a complete distaste for violence, no matter how justified, and the coddling of a seething criminal class who seem to have more rights than the good folks.

Never mind huge taxes, a sensationalist press, militant activist groups advocating every idiotic scheme imaginable, speed cameras for revenue generation, a broken government and bad food. The health care system is pretty shanzzy though.

Raging_Rabbit: No, no. You have to stay awake for another 4 and a half hours before I become incoherent. (I am a bartender) But if you have a video of said gov't employee waving around papers (not Monty Python, not obscure enough), I would welcome it.

It is 10:30 in the morning over here. I have to stay awake for at least another 4 1/2 hours if I want to remain employed!

I have no video *hangs head in shame*

DancingJester: Raging_Rabbit: No, no. You have to stay awake for another 4 and a half hours before I become incoherent. (I am a bartender) But if you have a video of said gov't employee waving around papers (not Monty Python, not obscure enough), I would welcome it.

It is 10:30 in the morning over here. I have to stay awake for at least another 4 1/2 hours if I want to remain employed!

I have no video *hangs head in shame*

Well versed friend. Although I might not be apt to remain vigilant in a few hours as well....

Beware!!! The ENDTIMES are near!!! OMGGarble1!11!! A 15 year old can buy a garden/camping tool!

You can kill somebody with uncooked pasta for God's sake.

Lighten up Francis!

/a garden tool is harmless. It's the disturbed 15 year old that needs help

dagman: Beware!!! The ENDTIMES are near!!! OMGGarble1!11!! A 15 year old can buy a garden/camping tool!

You can kill somebody with uncooked pasta for God's sake.

Lighten up Francis!

/a garden tool is harmless. It's the disturbed 15 year old that needs help

Welcome to America. I wish were more apt to the Darwin Awards. Thanks to frivolous lawsuits and lawyers in general, we skip by barely....

abdul: I don't know what to say about England's laws. You can't have guns... for home defense, nothing soils the drawers of your intruder more than the racking of a 12 gauge. Nothing.

Any adult in the UK who isn't a criminal or insane can get a licence for a shotgun or hunting rifle, to keep at home. Anyone. It's only handguns you aren't allowed.

We just don't bother, because there aren't millions of burglars out there with guns.

Anarchangel: Approves.

OK., so Danny Trejo approves......anyone else?

abdul:
I don't know what to say about England's laws. You can't have guns....

Just a point of order here, you can have guns; my dad owns several.