Thank GOD. I thought I'd made it to Fark.

Winner headline!

I'm not the type to blabber on about how awesome a headline was, but this one cracked me up...

Oh nicely done, Subby. Nicely done.

Did the morning wood totally wreck her bush?

Classic Fark +1 Subby

Been there before!

/amirite, ladies?

ha! like any good wood owner, "I'm trying to contact the person that's responsible for the tree and they're trying to run away from me and not do anything about it" he's not going to slam his wood into her and let her claim his paycheck!!!

Tranny thread?

28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds.

A+ headline. Would read it again.

Last time I had a story like that, I ended up with three restraining orders, 2 felony counts and a date.

Pineapples: Been there before!

/amirite, ladies?

Heyo. I like a nice surprise in the morning.

/sometimes I even pine for it.
//OH MY SIDES!

Good title subby. Adding (w/pic) would've made it uber win.

"Fried said the fallen tree belongs to a neighbor. "I'm trying to contact the person that's responsible for the tree and they're trying to run away from me and not do anything about it," said Fried."

That's because he's probably not responsible for it. Get an estimate and head to year nearest house of worship®. They might dole out a little charity for you :)

Well played subby, well played.

Farktacular job Submeister.

/hehehehe morning wood.

This is actually one of my fears - the tree outside my window's at about a 15- or 20-degree angle. And since the Portagees next door decided to cut down just about anything, there's no wind break for it....

I used to like morning wood. But then i got married, and it didn't matter so much anymore.

Awakened by morning wood and left? Obviously not married.

/got nothing
//great headline subby

East Point is known for these type of arboreal shenanigans.

Not really. East Point is known...for being near the airport.

There was a terrible storm a few weeks ago, and a huge tree fell over and took out the power lines for the neighborhood. Turned out, the tree was on a lady's property, and the city had asked her many times to have it cut down, due to it being all rotten and ready to fall over. She wouldn't do it. The power was out for 19 hours in 90+ humid heat. I plan on burning her house to the ground.

/she was quoted later as saying "well..i guess i dont have to worry about that tree anymore!!"

"I have no way to do anything about it except just move out and leave," said Fried."

Or you could throw a tarp over the hole, and call a lawyer if you think your neighbor is to blame.

FriarReb98: there's no wind break for it....

Luckily, mornings are also the perfect time for breaking wind

Bit'O'Gristle: There was a terrible storm a few weeks ago, and a huge tree fell over and took out the power lines for the neighborhood. Turned out, the tree was on a lady's property, and the city had asked her many times to have it cut down, due to it being all rotten and ready to fall over. She wouldn't do it. The power was out for 19 hours in 90+ humid heat. I plan on burning her house to the ground.

/she was quoted later as saying "well..i guess i dont have to worry about that tree anymore!!"

The city should have cut it down themselves, and charged her for it. Oh, and I would join you in that arson if it had been me.

Bit'O'Gristle: There was a terrible storm a few weeks ago, and a huge tree fell over and took out the power lines for the neighborhood. Turned out, the tree was on a lady's property, and the city had asked her many times to have it cut down, due to it being all rotten and ready to fall over. She wouldn't do it. The power was out for 19 hours in 90+ humid heat. I plan on burning her house to the ground.

/she was quoted later as saying "well..i guess i dont have to worry about that tree anymore!!"

I look forward to the follow up to this story, and I hope that the name you have listed in your profile is just a pseudonym.

Bravo, subby.

Moooooooorning Woood
Yeeehhhaaaa!!!!

Well I get up in the mornin and I'm feelin good
Cuz underneath the covers is my mornin wood
My wife wakes up and looks my way
Kids run in and ruin my day

Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood
He's a man who really loves his morning
Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood

Well I walked in the bathroom and tried to pee
Almost knocked over tryin to avoid the seat
I raised up and still the same
So on the wall I wrote my name

Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood
He's a man who really loves his morning
Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood

Ya my wife walks in and sees the mess
I can tell right away she's not impressed
I clean it all up and I start to cry
It won't go down and I don't know why

Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood
He's a man who really loves his morning
Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood

Well I got to go to work and theres still no change
I'm thinking by now theres something strange
Still feels good and it really don't hurt
So all I do is un-tuck my shirt

Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood
He's a man who really loves his morning woooood
He's a man who really loves his morning woooood
He's a man who really loves his morning woooood
YeeeeeHaaaa!!

Rodney your not going to work like that are you
Honey I'm taking the convertible yaahaa!

Last month...tree fell on my car.



Lotsa rain, dead tree...bam, knocked the mirror out.



After taping the mirror back into place...I backed into another tree and smashed the whole thing off.

/chopped that farkwad down the next day

Can't do much about morning wood.

Oh I get it, a morning wood is an erection when you wake up. And wood, tree, got it.

Back in my hometown of Grand Rapids, MI, there is an AM radio station, WOOD. Don't know if they still use it or not, but one of their slogans used to be, "Wake up with wood!" I'm not sure if they were being slyly ribald, or unintentionally hilarious.

The last fallen tree I saw was extremely depressing. The thing fell on a minivan with a woman and 7 children inside.

/ :(

Narcism: Oh I get it, a morning wood is an erection when you wake up. And wood, tree, got it.

This is why we can't have nice things.

In Georgia, at least Dekalb county, the tree owner is not responbile. I think East Lake is in Fulton, but since it's on the eastern side of the MATRA route, it may be Dekalb.

So, I guess lady's shiat outta luck.

Everybody's saying 'Call your insurance company. Well I'm sorry ... I don't have an insurance company because I don't have the money. I can't find a job,' said Fried.

Give me the name of the tree owner. I'll make him pay one way or another. 50/50

/my second job is spy/private eye/gigolo/extortionist/ninja/concierge doctor/magician to the stars
//I work on a sliding scale
///I also do children's parties (just ask for Dave)

But was it Norwegian wood?

budsterr: Everybody's saying 'Call your insurance company. Well I'm sorry ... I don't have an insurance company because I don't have the money. I can't find a job,' said Fried.

Give me the name of the tree owner. I'll make him pay one way or another. 50/50

/my second job is spy/private eye/gigolo/extortionist/ninja/concierge doctor/magician to the stars
//I work on a sliding scale
///I also do children's parties (just ask for Dave)


welcome to my favorites list. don't disappoint.

Do Ents get morning wood?

Does not approve

Ceiling Tree?

Gyrfalcon: But was it Norwegian wood?

Hmm, that wood's no good.

I've been surprised by morning wood several times.

I'm also a big fan of one of their headlines to the right: "Man Falls Into 30-Feet-Deep Trench, Dies"

We've all been there, haven't we?

You could farm it Morning wood farm (SFW)

GrahamCracker: I'm also a big fan of one of their headlines to the right: "Man Falls Into 30-Feet-Deep Trench, Dies"

We've all been there, haven't we?

If we're all dead, then yes, we have.

Pineapples: Been there before!

/amirite, ladies?

This!

King Something: Does not approve

Heh.

/baka Shinji!

Bit'O'Gristle: I used to like morning wood. But then i got married, and it didn't matter so much anymore.

qft

/and thanks, subby

Quit taking viagra and that may not happen, then again if you do and it last 4 hours call a couple of hookers.