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(Some Bored Scientists) Asinine After three years of study, University of Calgary researchers determine that coyotes eat small mammals, plants and berries. Still no cure for spending government money on useless research   (ucalgary.ca) divider line 98
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ZAZ [TotalFark] 2009-06-25 11:02:27 PM  
Damn. Should have done my research before releasing all those coyotes in Boston to deal with the overpopulation of yappy little rat-dogs. Oh, well. Maybe the snake scheme will work out.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2009-06-25 11:12:26 PM  
Someone please explain to me why studying the ecological effect humanity is having on native species and how that species is surviving in city environments is a waste of money? Especially considering the findings showed that these animals are eating humanities waste, like garbage bags, which should they survive, such a diet naturalizes them towards humans and increases risk of attacks on our pretty pink flesh?

Personally I'd like to avoid being bitten by a coyote, or any of those bear sized raccoons that live in the museum dumpster a few miles from here, and I thank researchers such as those in TFA for performing the necessary legwork in order to develop the necessary tools and precautions to avoid just that.

 
mamoru [TotalFark] 2009-06-25 11:27:32 PM  
submitter: Still no cure for spending government money on useless research

This one's for you, subby. (lgt audio, sfw, not a rickroll, very apt to this situation)

Seriously, this is a study about the impact of coyotes in urban settings. Knowing how animals behave in such a system, especially larger carnivores which could potentially be a threat to people and their stuff, seems like a reasonably good use of research money to me.

 
Mr.Giblets 2009-06-26 12:05:03 AM  
I'm applying for a grant to study Cougars in their native habitat. I figure I'll need $500 per weekend for booze, and a couple thou' for weekly STD treatments. That enough?

 
Dalar [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:05:07 AM  
Roadrunners were also found to be tasty.

 
buckeyebrain [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:05:56 AM  
Dalar: Roadrunners were also found to be tasty.

The problem is that they never catch them.

 
HighOnCraic 2009-06-26 12:06:24 AM  
Still no cure for spending government money on useless research Acme products . . .

 
Accent 2009-06-26 12:06:34 AM  
To the scientists:

www.cartoonspot.net

 
imprimere [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:07:54 AM  
s2.buzzfeed.com

/still on duty
//hot like stolen tax money

 
krelborne 2009-06-26 12:10:04 AM  
1) Find article about study
2) Mischaracterize its findings so that they seem obvious
3) ProfitGreenlight

 
johnny_vegas [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:11:58 AM  
Accent: To the scientists:

sweet!!

/+1

 
GoddessPrime 2009-06-26 12:14:13 AM  
"While it's clear that the coyotes will attack and consume cats and dogs, the incidence rate is very low and appears to be localized..."

Meh, my neighbour's children will still be upset about their dog and I will still speed up when I see them crossing the street.


erm, coyotes, not the kids...

 
RepoManTSM 2009-06-26 12:14:42 AM  
They should have just gone to WhatCoyotesEat.com

 
berylman 2009-06-26 12:20:25 AM  
The only thing better than studying what coyotes eat is to actually eat their raw intestinal products as a matter of science... occasionally there is a cadmium deposite gwgah what wha .... my stomaaach is disssolvvvvingggg haaaaalp

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:22:25 AM  
I think all scientific inquiry should be limited to studies that are guaranteed to yield meaningful profits for private industry within the subsequent three fiscal quarters of the study's publication. Otherwise, it's all just useless egghead wastes of money.

/I don't believe in the basic tenets of science, and I vote!

 
Jakevol2 2009-06-26 12:24:04 AM  
I liked this better the first time when it was called:


stores.homestead.com

 
HighOnCraic 2009-06-26 12:38:22 AM  
True men scientists don't kill study coyotes!

 
Bill_Wick's_Friend [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-26 12:38:26 AM  
I just had a very close encounter with a very cute bear.

/random post from the guy in the wilderness
/more afraid of cougars, raccoons, skunks, bears and dogs from the rez (in that order) than I am of coyotes

 
WaywardClam 2009-06-26 12:44:35 AM  
Anybody else notice Calgary is Canada's Florida?

/tag creation whoring

 
Thai Mai Xhu 2009-06-26 12:46:43 AM  
Songdogs also eat moopoo sometimes, kittehs whenever they find one slippin, they'll have a biatch in heat draw little dogs out to the brambles for a bit of rip and tear, in the morning the owner of the warm meal will find the collar and maybe some hair, and a few odd bits.
A pack of coyotes is much more repectful of man than is a pack of feral dogs. These days country folk must needs be armed when traveling in case some unforseen dificulty puts them afoot. Brown bears won't usually bother people, they like to slip away without ever being seen. We do have several breeds of large cats here which depending on conditions can be dangerous, and we also have the occasional "country guard dog", who guards a good 1/4 mile either side of it's owners property, these are usually large breeds known for the ability to bring down a human. You might encounter a tush hog,rabid skunk or fox,and traveling psychopath.
Any person should retain the right and instruments to defend his or her person from any threat be it man or animal.Rocket launchers are way limited, FA Uzis will dispose of you'r HEAVY amunition much too quickly. But the new polymer semi auto pistols pack some serious firepower, and most shoulder rigs give the option to carry two extra high capacity clips, load a tracer every two or three till ya get good to help acquire you'r target.
Refuse to be a victim.
Smith & Wesson
EQUALIZER
"Carry me and fear no man,
regardless of his size".
"Should danger threaten,
call on me,
For I shall equalize".

 
Egalitarian 2009-06-26 12:47:51 AM  
Subby is being a dumbass. Coyote populations are growing all over North America and the animals are coming into conflict with humans. It's important to know what they eat and what their behaviors are. I saw a coyote trotting into the Denver airport parking garage a few weeks ago, I'm glad to know their diet doesn't include small women and children.

Jakevol2

Hah, I was just thinking of that movie the other day, and I've often thought of it over the years. But I could never remember the title. Thanks!

 
Doc Batarang 2009-06-26 12:52:50 AM  
WaywardClam: Anybody else notice Calgary is Canada's Florida?

/tag creation whoring


No.

Canada's Florida is a place called Halifax. We're more like Canada's Houston or St. Louis...it's Salt Lake City if you're being really negative.

I do miss the urban coyotes though. It was nice to see them out and about, but then they started a new subdivision and they all went away. Their howling was super nice late at night.

 
DalaiLamaDingDong 2009-06-26 12:53:44 AM  
WaywardClam: Anybody else notice Calgary is Canada's Florida?

/tag creation whoring


Being from Edmonton, I've always known that.

 
Jakevol2 2009-06-26 12:53:48 AM  
Egalitarian: Subby is being a dumbass. Coyote populations are growing all over North America and the animals are coming into conflict with humans. It's important to know what they eat and what their behaviors are. I saw a coyote trotting into the Denver airport parking garage a few weeks ago, I'm glad to know their diet doesn't include small women and children.

Jakevol2

Hah, I was just thinking of that movie the other day, and I've often thought of it over the years. But I could never remember the title. Thanks!


You are welcome.

 
sseye 2009-06-26 12:54:53 AM  
Yeah, like they spent money to study "fruit flys"! I mean, OMG.

 
iollow 2009-06-26 01:05:31 AM  
The study of our natural world is worthwhile, and the study of our effect on it even more so. Honestly you should be proud to live in a country that can afford to pay people to do it.

 
nuclear_asshat 2009-06-26 01:12:46 AM  
Egalitarian: Subby is being a dumbass. Coyote populations are growing all over North America and the animals are coming into conflict with humans. It's important to know what they eat and what their behaviors are. I saw a coyote trotting into the Denver airport parking garage a few weeks ago, I'm glad to know their diet doesn't include small women and children.

No one here is biatching because knowledge about the natural world isn't important to us. We are biatching because this is obvious shiat that any 100 yr. old field guide could have told them the same thing.

iollow: The study of our natural world is worthwhile, and the study of our effect on it even more so. Honestly you should be proud to live in a country that can afford to pay people to do it.

I would if they actually did something important. Figure out bee colony collapse or something important, not something that any person living in a rural area could have told them in 10 minutes.

People have been observing and living with these animals for generations. This "research" is lame and pointless.

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-06-26 01:14:47 AM  
buckeyebrain: Dalar: Roadrunners were also found to be tasty.

The problem is that they never catch them.


A study of the effectiveness of ACME and A-1 products is pending.

 
ghostwind 2009-06-26 01:15:11 AM  
well, the way things are going right now there wont be funding for any research. I believe the conservatives have frozen funding to all the funding agencies...

 
Doc Batarang 2009-06-26 01:18:53 AM  
ghostwind: well, the way things are going right now there wont be funding for any research. I believe the conservatives have frozen funding to all the funding agencies...

Which is why I'm not either a) videotaping conversations with Ghanaian medicine men right now or b) chatting up injured volleyball girls about how they feel about being injured. farking funding.

 
HighOnCraic 2009-06-26 01:20:36 AM  
Gyrfalcon: buckeyebrain: Dalar: Roadrunners were also found to be tasty.

The problem is that they never catch them.

A study of the effectiveness of ACME and A-1 products is pending.


I think you're missing the point here. It's not that Wile E. Coyote wants to eat necessarily or that he wants to eat a roadrunner. What he wants is to eat that particular roadrunner. It's very existential.

 
wingedkat [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 01:24:13 AM  
nuclear_asshat: ...

No one here is biatching because knowledge about the natural world isn't important to us. We are biatching because this is obvious shiat that any 100 yr. old field guide could have told them the same thing.

...

People have been observing and living with these animals for generations. This "research" is lame and pointless.


Thing is, most people I know around here (NE) are certain that every time a small dog or cat goes missing its because "the coyotes are moving in". Their next idea is to go out and shoot the things, or even worse set out traps or poison... and how this is going to "save" their small dogs and cats I have no idea. Not that any study done in Calgary is going to change their minds about it.

 
Scrophulous Barking Duck 2009-06-26 01:26:55 AM  
Pretty hard to know what to do about an animal without knowing what it does in an ecosystem. In this case it appears that no control of the coyote population is needed. Sounds like money well spent.

/studied wildlife biology back in the 1980's

 
Egalitarian 2009-06-26 01:28:04 AM  
nuclear_asshat
Egalitarian: Subby is being a dumbass. Coyote populations are growing all over North America and the animals are coming into conflict with humans. It's important to know what they eat and what their behaviors are. I saw a coyote trotting into the Denver airport parking garage a few weeks ago, I'm glad to know their diet doesn't include small women and children.

No one here is biatching because knowledge about the natural world isn't important to us. We are biatching because this is obvious shiat that any 100 yr. old field guide could have told them the same thing.


Errr the field guide wouldn't have told you how coyotes behave and what they eat in modern urban settings. Did they have plastic garbage bags 100 years ago?

 
Scrophulous Barking Duck 2009-06-26 01:36:24 AM  
Wingedkat
Thing is, most people I know around here (NE) are certain that every time a small dog or cat goes missing its because "the coyotes are moving in". Their next idea is to go out and shoot the things, or even worse set out traps or poison... and how this is going to "save" their small dogs and cats I have no idea. Not that any study done in Calgary is going to change their minds about it.

This is probably why the study was done. Local people and politicians getting concerned, so rather than just start killing coyotes someone went out to see what was really going on.

 
ghostwind 2009-06-26 01:39:52 AM  
Doc Batarang:

Which is why I'm not either a) videotaping conversations with Ghanaian medicine men right now or b) chatting up injured volleyball girls about how they feel about being injured. farking funding.


he he he... that made me laugh

 
berylman 2009-06-26 01:41:17 AM  
Link (Animals, Talking Heads)
Just seemed appropriate.

 
Darth Nastyperson 2009-06-26 01:54:14 AM  
The research also showed that the number one cause of death in Coyotes is falling from a great height as soon as they realize there's nothing underneath them.

 
Memoryalpha 2009-06-26 02:03:08 AM  
There is no such thing as useless research.
ie: There is no such thing as a stupid question.
General research always pays off in the long run.

You can thank James Clerk Maxwell's piddling bits of curiosity research for being able to see this.

 
DysphoricMania 2009-06-26 02:12:06 AM  
As Drayton Sawyer said...."Well, no shiat... You don't say..."

/loves me some TCM2

 
Lostkacz [TotalFark] 2009-06-26 02:14:33 AM  
didn't read this story, just glad something went up marking the end of the obsession with MJ stories. I liked "news" when it was journalism and not sensationalism. but I'm preaching to the choir here, I know...

 
zeph` [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-26 02:25:46 AM  
WaywardClam: Anybody else notice Calgary is Canada's Florida?

Fail. Have you ever been here?

ninjakirby: I thank researchers such as those in TFA

Finally, my university does something worthwhile!

 
RanDomino [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-26 02:29:05 AM  
Any knowledge that might interfere with exclusively for-profit development is anti-American.

 
DysphoricMania 2009-06-26 02:37:24 AM  
RanDomino: Any knowledge that might interfere with exclusively for-profit development is anti-American.

Thought we were discussing something in Canada...

 
toonz 2009-06-26 02:46:36 AM  
yeah subby, and his retarded supporters,

the scientists didn't know that basic shiat, and the article wasn't watered down so ignorant farktards like you could understand it.

now go watch idol, and/or Glenn Beck and come back tomorrow and tell us what else you've been told is important.

 
Tsunami Ditka 2009-06-26 03:07:09 AM  
WaywardClam: Anybody else notice Calgary is Canada's Florida?

/tag creation whoring


No, no, it's not, and I'd thank you to stop being silly and never whore like that again.

 
foxbrook78 2009-06-26 03:28:42 AM  
As a botanist conducting useless research of my own I incidentally walk by a lot of piles of coyote shiat and could have pretty much told them that.

 
DysphoricMania 2009-06-26 03:34:57 AM  
Solution is pretty simple... shoot/trap/bait/poison the coyotes and... guess what? The coyotes will go away.

Just a thought.

We have a similar issue where I live. We're taking rather proactive measures since the government refuses to.

 
Eudeyrn 2009-06-26 03:41:07 AM  
Thai Mai Xhu: Songdogs also eat moopoo sometimes, kittehs whenever they find one slippin, they'll have a biatch in heat draw little dogs out to the brambles for a bit of rip and tear, in the morning the owner of the warm meal will find the collar and maybe some hair, and a few odd bits.
A pack of coyotes is much more repectful of man than is a pack of feral dogs. These days country folk must needs be armed when traveling in case some unforseen dificulty puts them afoot. Brown bears won't usually bother people, they like to slip away without ever being seen. We do have several breeds of large cats here which depending on conditions can be dangerous, and we also have the occasional "country guard dog", who guards a good 1/4 mile either side of it's owners property, these are usually large breeds known for the ability to bring down a human. You might encounter a tush hog,rabid skunk or fox,and traveling psychopath.
Any person should retain the right and instruments to defend his or her person from any threat be it man or animal.Rocket launchers are way limited, FA Uzis will dispose of you'r HEAVY amunition much too quickly. But the new polymer semi auto pistols pack some serious firepower, and most shoulder rigs give the option to carry two extra high capacity clips, load a tracer every two or three till ya get good to help acquire you'r target.
Refuse to be a victim.
Smith & Wesson
EQUALIZER
"Carry me and fear no man,
regardless of his size".
"Should danger threaten,
call on me,
For I shall equalize".




wat

 
2and4 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-26 03:54:09 AM  
ninjakirby: Someone please explain to me why studying the ecological effect humanity is having on native species and how that species is surviving in city environments is a waste of money? Especially considering the findings showed that these animals are eating humanities waste, like garbage bags, which should they survive, such a diet naturalizes them towards humans and increases risk of attacks on our pretty pink flesh?

Personally I'd like to avoid being bitten by a coyote, or any of those bear sized raccoons that live in the museum dumpster a few miles from here, and I thank researchers such as those in TFA for performing the necessary legwork in order to develop the necessary tools and precautions to avoid just that.


Did you seriously just write that?

The tools and precautions are already developed.

In order, they are:

1. Brains

2. Doors

3. Guns

You're at the top of the food chain for a reason. If raccoons bother you that much you should probably move to a condo, preferably one on the third floor.

 
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