Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

David Keith or Keith David? I can never keep them straight.

Is it just me, or does every male country star look like a bloated alcoholic?

thanks, DslainteC! subby should have also included warning not to look above her chest.

DslainteC: For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Amazingly, clicking "Enlarge" does.

ne2d: Is it just me, or does every male country star look like a bloated alcoholic?

I'm guessing there's a pretty good reason for that.

Still, I gotta give 'em at least minor style points. At least MOST of them have evolved out of the archetypal hat/belt/boots milieu. Unless they're doing it ironically, anyway.

Even so...Country has got to be the only genre of music that's so (for lack of a better word) segregated. And Darius Rucker and Charley Pride notwithstanding, I'm not even saying segregated racially. I'm saying socially.

Country fans more or less seem to listen to it exclusively; to the extent that it's become an insular microcosm with it's own celebrities and culture existing independently of the "mainstream." There are people in Country music who can't even put on a baseball cap and Ray-Bans and grocery-shopping in Atlanta or Dallas without causing a mob scene...But they could stroll around Boston or Seattle in full stage regalia without risking even getting looked at twice by anyone. I think I recognized the names and/or faces of less than half-a-dozen of those people. And of those, I couldn't name a single one of their songs. At best, I'm just dimly aware of them from incidental contact with promotional materials.

I guess it's the inverse of the principle that causes everyone else to say, "I listen to everything but Country" when questioned about their musical taste.

GooberMcFly: DslainteC: For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Amazingly, clicking "Enlarge" does.

Indeed. And based on her thicker, more voluptuous (but still proportional) frame, not to mention the realistic shape and distinct lack of over-roundedness at the top, I daresay they appear to be natural.

Good for you, Mr. County-Singer Man.

GooberMcFly: Amazingly, clicking "Enlarge" does.

Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I guess epic doesn't mean good.

Eat More Rhinestones!

Rednecks with money always provide some comic relief in this town.

My neighbor Michell Branch not looking so good.

Darius Rucker or... Don Cheadle's older brother?
Taylor Swift is beautiful. wow..

/sees it in color

Dr.Knockboots: Taylor Swift is beautiful.

She's one of the few I've heard of, because she's on a lot of billboards around here, shilling for some radio station I'll never listen to. And sure, she's ludicrously stunning in a classical sense. She's almost luminescent, in fact. I don't care how many stylists the label sends you, you simply CANNOT get glowing skin, exquisite bone structure, thick, shiny hair or delicately yet perfectly-proportioned features like hers out of a bottle or jar. She's one of the few celebrity types who I have no doubt would be just as devastating without a single drop of cosmetic assistance.

It's just too bad she's so disarmingly horrible at her job.

Every time I walk in the room and can't change the channel fast enough from whatever talk show she's "performing" on, I can't help but notice that she has worse pitch than José Lima. I mean, she's REALLY awful. Dog-disturbingly so. Even a legendary turd-polisher like Pro Tools was never meant to fudge seer, unmitigated bad on such a shocking level. I'd go so far as to say she's as exactly as dismal vocally as she is appealing physically, which is saying something in both cases.

Plus, she's no better instrumentally. Her guitar is so encrusted with cheap, glued-on rhinestones that I'd be surprised if the soundboard could resonate so much as a micro-meter, so it's not like it's ever all that audible in the mix. Which is a blessing in disguise. It would be charitable as hell to refer to the chords I DO hear her hit as "clumsy."

Yet there she is on stage, stomping around in her big, stupid boots and tiny dress, Bo-Peep ringlets bouncing prettily around like she's totally rocking out and kicking ass. It's tragic to see delusion like that writ so very large.

It's not entirely her FAULT, mind you. I don't really blame her...much. She's a dew-eyed, china-doll baby in an industry specifically designed to chew up and spit out even jaded, scar-tissue-covered veterans. She's obviously been snowed and snowed HARD by unscrupulous producers and label execs into believing she's got talent, and what kid wouldn't lap that up and run with it? I just think someone with some shred of what's left of their soul still barely-functioning should take her aside and tell her that she's horrible, and getting played on a grand scale. And I don't mean by the radio stations. Because it's clear that she has absolutely no idea.

Definitely a "she's great if you turn the sound down" sort of situation.

MaxxLarge: She's one of the few I've heard of,

What the?
that's too deep.

MaxxLarge: Dr.Knockboots: Taylor Swift is beautiful.

She's one of the few I've heard of, because she's on a lot of billboards around here, shilling for some radio station I'll never listen to. And sure, she's ludicrously stunning in a classical sense. She's almost luminescent, in fact. I don't care how many stylists the label sends you, you simply CANNOT get glowing skin, exquisite bone structure, thick, shiny hair or delicately yet perfectly-proportioned features like hers out of a bottle or jar. She's one of the few celebrity types who I have no doubt would be just as devastating without a single drop of cosmetic assistance.

It's just too bad she's so disarmingly horrible at her job.

Every time I walk in the room and can't change the channel fast enough from whatever talk show she's "performing" on, I can't help but notice that she has worse pitch than José Lima. I mean, she's REALLY awful. Dog-disturbingly so. Even a legendary turd-polisher like Pro Tools was never meant to fudge seer, unmitigated bad on such a shocking level. I'd go so far as to say she's as exactly as dismal vocally as she is appealing physically, which is saying something in both cases.

Plus, she's no better instrumentally. Her guitar is so encrusted with cheap, glued-on rhinestones that I'd be surprised if the soundboard could resonate so much as a micro-meter, so it's not like it's ever all that audible in the mix. Which is a blessing in disguise. It would be charitable as hell to refer to the chords I DO hear her hit as "clumsy."

Yet there she is on stage, stomping around in her big, stupid boots and tiny dress, Bo-Peep ringlets bouncing prettily around like she's totally rocking out and kicking ass. It's tragic to see delusion like that writ so very large.

It's not entirely her FAULT, mind you. I don't really blame her...much. She's a dew-eyed, china-doll baby in an industry specifically designed to chew up and spit out even jaded, scar-tissue-covered veterans. She's obviously been snowed and snowed HARD by unscrupulous producers and label execs into believing she's got talent, and what kid wouldn't lap that up and run with it? I just think someone with some shred of what's left of their soul still barely-functioning should take her aside and tell her that she's horrible, and getting played on a grand scale. And I don't mean by the radio stations. Because it's clear that she has absolutely no idea.

Definitely a "she's great if you turn the sound down" sort of situation.

Could you write that in limerick form please?

I don't know who any of those people are.

Naomi Judd, I knew her, That is about it.

The Carter Twins? Are they from the Carter family??

Kate and Kacey? I'd sure like to fark them.

Darrel Worley = BEST SONG LYRICS EVAR.
"Don't you tell me not to worry 'bout Bin Laden..."

Yes.
Yes.
YES.

/Touching and rubbing myself wearing American Flag briefs

DslainteC: Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Thanks for reading my mind! I just wanted to see some bewbs!

MaxxLarge: Dr.Knockboots: Taylor Swift is beautiful.

She's one of the few I've heard of, because she's on a lot of billboards around here, shilling for some radio station I'll never listen to. And sure, she's ludicrously stunning in a classical sense. She's almost luminescent, in fact. I don't care how many stylists the label sends you, you simply CANNOT get glowing skin, exquisite bone structure, thick, shiny hair or delicately yet perfectly-proportioned features like hers out of a bottle or jar. She's one of the few celebrity types who I have no doubt would be just as devastating without a single drop of cosmetic assistance.

It's just too bad she's so disarmingly horrible at her job.

Every time I walk in the room and can't change the channel fast enough from whatever talk show she's "performing" on, I can't help but notice that she has worse pitch than José Lima. I mean, she's REALLY awful. Dog-disturbingly so. Even a legendary turd-polisher like Pro Tools was never meant to fudge seer, unmitigated bad on such a shocking level. I'd go so far as to say she's as exactly as dismal vocally as she is appealing physically, which is saying something in both cases.

Plus, she's no better instrumentally. Her guitar is so encrusted with cheap, glued-on rhinestones that I'd be surprised if the soundboard could resonate so much as a micro-meter, so it's not like it's ever all that audible in the mix. Which is a blessing in disguise. It would be charitable as hell to refer to the chords I DO hear her hit as "clumsy."

Yet there she is on stage, stomping around in her big, stupid boots and tiny dress, Bo-Peep ringlets bouncing prettily around like she's totally rocking out and kicking ass. It's tragic to see delusion like that writ so very large.

It's not entirely her FAULT, mind you. I don't really blame her...much. She's a dew-eyed, china-doll baby in an industry specifically designed to chew up and spit out even jaded, scar-tissue-covered veterans. She's obviously been snowed and snowed HARD by unscrupulous producers and label execs into believing she's got talent, and what kid wouldn't lap that up and run with it? I just think someone with some shred of what's left of their soul still barely-functioning should take her aside and tell her that she's horrible, and getting played on a grand scale. And I don't mean by the radio stations. Because it's clear that she has absolutely no idea.

Definitely a "she's great if you turn the sound down" sort of situation.

You just made my favorites list.

MaxxLarge: *GIGANTIC RANT*

She's the non-Disney Miley Cyrus. See how much easier it was to type that?

Can some hillbilly on here explain when country went goth?

Whenever my self esteem is feeling low, all I need to do is look at the average mainstream country music folk and I soon realize that compared to them, I truly am a god.

The country scene in the US I've always assumed to be something like baseball - it means nothing to anyone outside of the US.

The country people outside the US do listen to is the country you don't see at these awards - Dixie Chicks teh only exception, really.

And when did Def Leppard become country?!

/DNRTFA

FARK_JOSH: Darrel Worley = BEST SONG LYRICS EVAR.
"Don't you tell me not to worry 'bout Bin Laden..."

Yes.
Yes.
YES.

/Touching and rubbing myself wearing American Flag briefs

Wut, you sayin' that don't rhyme with fergadden?

It's Amurcan english, you best learn and love it or leave it, commie.

DslainteC: Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

You are the BEST!

I could count the recognized faces on one hand. I can't tell if that makes me happy or not.

I have seriously given country music a try on a couple of occasions... setting the radio dial and not turning it for weeks. I know music is subjective, but the only thing I came away with was more fodder for country music jokes. It seemed to me to be pretty pathetic. If anything, it made me grateful that I couldn't relate, because what they were singing about was usually sad, ignorant (or playing to ignorance) or just plain religious (maybe that's redundant). There ARE exceptions, and no, I'm not saying my choice in music is any better... just... wow... so bad.

/a few songs were ok.
//yeah, I'm being judgmental. I didn't say anything about country music fans. Listen to what you want. I'm just saying I don't "get" the music.

*puts old fogey hat on* You know, what happened to actual talent? I mean, you can barely tell one female coutry "star" from another these days. With Dolly, Patsy and the old school women, you could TELL who you were listening to. *grumble*

Accolade: I have seriously given country music a try on a couple of occasions... setting the radio dial and not turning it for weeks.

Country music is great. Unfortunately they don't play any on the radio. I don't know what that overmanaged, overproduced, trite, cliche-ridden, factory -farm bullshiat is, but it ain't country music. You think boy-bands are bad - Nashville wrote that book a long time ago.

Guysmiley: *GIGANTIC RANT*

"Gigantic?" Goodness. In that case, I'm glad I restrained myself.

there their theyre: Could you write that in limerick form please?

Happy to. Here ya go:

I look upon Taylor with pity.
For though she is shockingly pretty,
Her level of skill
At singing is "nil,"
And she plays guitar awful $#!++¥.

MaxxLarge: Happy to. Here ya go:

I look upon Taylor with pity.
For though she is shockingly pretty,
Her level of skill
At singing is "nil,"
And she plays guitar awful $#!++¥.

Excellent - loved the rant AND the limerick.

JohnBigBootay: Country music is great. Unfortunately they don't play any on the radio. I don't know what that overmanaged, overproduced, trite, cliche-ridden, factory -farm bullshiat is, but it ain't country music. You think boy-bands are bad - Nashville wrote that book a long time ago.

Amen. Give me Waylon or Merle any day.

Wow, that was veritably the biggest slideshow (EVAR!) of the Who's Who of "Who?!?"

Except for Taylor Swift who is incredibly hot with the sound off

This may be what said "funbags" look like!
Broktun

JohnBigBootay: Country music is great. Unfortunately they don't play any on the radio. I don't know what that overmanaged, overproduced, trite, cliche-ridden, factory -farm bullshiat is, but it ain't country music. You think boy-bands are bad - Nashville wrote that book a long time ago.

The station I used was a "modern" country station. It wasn't all pop, but they definitely didn't play classics.

website here (new window)

I might try again with an XM station... just so I know what I'm talking about.

Taylor Swift always looks like she's plotting something very, very evil.

/Like her next album! HAYO!
//See pic 2 for an example.

they're nice, but not nice enough to distract from her face. yikes

Weird, the link loads for a moment and then goes blank for me in Safari 4.

DslainteC: Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Thank you.

Broktun: www.makemeheal.com
This may be what said "funbags" look like!

Don't ever do that again.

MaxxLarge: Dr.Knockboots: Taylor Swift is beautiful.

She's one of the few I've heard of, because she's on a lot of billboards around here, shilling for some radio station I'll never listen to. And sure, she's ludicrously stunning in a classical sense. She's almost luminescent, in fact. I don't care how many stylists the label sends you, you simply CANNOT get glowing skin, exquisite bone structure, thick, shiny hair or delicately yet perfectly-proportioned features like hers out of a bottle or jar. She's one of the few celebrity types who I have no doubt would be just as devastating without a single drop of cosmetic assistance.

It's just too bad she's so disarmingly horrible at her job.

Every time I walk in the room and can't change the channel fast enough from whatever talk show she's "performing" on, I can't help but notice that she has worse pitch than José Lima. I mean, she's REALLY awful. Dog-disturbingly so. Even a legendary turd-polisher like Pro Tools was never meant to fudge seer, unmitigated bad on such a shocking level. I'd go so far as to say she's as exactly as dismal vocally as she is appealing physically, which is saying something in both cases.

Plus, she's no better instrumentally. Her guitar is so encrusted with cheap, glued-on rhinestones that I'd be surprised if the soundboard could resonate so much as a micro-meter, so it's not like it's ever all that audible in the mix. Which is a blessing in disguise. It would be charitable as hell to refer to the chords I DO hear her hit as "clumsy."

Yet there she is on stage, stomping around in her big, stupid boots and tiny dress, Bo-Peep ringlets bouncing prettily around like she's totally rocking out and kicking ass. It's tragic to see delusion like that writ so very large.

It's not entirely her FAULT, mind you. I don't really blame her...much. She's a dew-eyed, china-doll baby in an industry specifically designed to chew up and spit out even jaded, scar-tissue-covered veterans. She's obviously been snowed and snowed HARD by unscrupulous producers and label execs into believing she's got talent, and what kid wouldn't lap that up and run with it? I just think someone with some shred of what's left of their soul still barely-functioning should take her aside and tell her that she's horrible, and getting played on a grand scale. And I don't mean by the radio stations. Because it's clear that she has absolutely no idea.

Definitely a "she's great if you turn the sound down" sort of situation.

This.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DslainteC 2009-06-24 03:56:00 PM
Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Thank-you DslainteC, just the pic i was looking for but gave up. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

* takes old man hat from Aello

For all the men -

FREAKIN MENS WEARHOUSE WILL RENT A TUX FOR $60. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

*takes off old man hat

danduran - And when did Def Leppard become country?!

When they did Crossroads with Taylor Swift.

I have no idea who Julianne Hough is, but "Daddy like!"

Personally, I liked David Keith's dad better when he was on "Family Affair"

Hey Taylor. I hope I didn't wake you this morning, but I heard the garbage truck and forgot to take the can out last night. I'll try to be more quite from now on.

There are two kinds of music I hate. Country and Western.

I'd rather listen to Bollywood tunes.

DslainteC: Freakin' slideshow! Worse, a non-flash/non-JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page!! Even worse, a non-flash, JavaScript slideshow where every slide is a new page that's 97 freakin' pages long!!!

For those who don't want to search for it...You're welcome. (^)

Jesus, thanks. And wow, failure to deliver.

Anybody mention that farking thing is 97 pages long...Yeah I'm hunting for hootie through that shiat.

Country music is America's gift to the world.

I came here to see the epic funbags so that I could avoid the slideshow, and I get an opus about how much Taylor Swift sucks.

robsul82: I came here to see the epic funbags so that I could avoid the slideshow, and I get an opus about how much Taylor Swift sucks.

No kidding. They're nice but hardly epic, and who didn't know Taylor Swift sucks?

//and for that matter, Worley's wife is a lot hotter than Swift.

MaxxLarge: Guysmiley: *GIGANTIC RANT*

"Gigantic?" Goodness. In that case, I'm glad I restrained myself.

there their theyre: Could you write that in limerick form please?

Happy to. Here ya go:

I look upon Taylor with pity.
For though she is shockingly pretty,
Her level of skill
At singing is "nil,"
And she plays guitar awful $#!++¥.

Bravo!

John Buck 41: robsul82: I came here to see the epic funbags so that I could avoid the slideshow, and I get an opus about how much Taylor Swift sucks.

No kidding. They're nice but hardly epic, and who didn't know Taylor Swift sucks?

//and for that matter, Worley's wife is a lot hotter than Swift.

You like penis don't you?

Xaneidolon: Broktun: www.makemeheal.com
This may be what said "funbags" look like!

Don't ever do that again.

I thought we were looking for "airbags"

My bad!!

arekthorn: John Buck 41: robsul82: I came here to see the epic funbags so that I could avoid the slideshow, and I get an opus about how much Taylor Swift sucks.

No kidding. They're nice but hardly epic, and who didn't know Taylor Swift sucks?

//and for that matter, Worley's wife is a lot hotter than Swift.

You like penis don't you?

Actually, no. I like boobs and women, which explains why I find Swift, a flatchested teenager, coming in a distant second to Mrs. Worley. But hey, if you like her, knock yourself out.