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(Cracked) Amusing The 13 most unintentionally disturbing children's toys   (cracked.com) divider line 196
More: Amusing  
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54115 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2009 at 6:09 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 02:38:52 PM  
I have #3 and it is awesome.

 
Pastor of Muppets [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 02:56:54 PM  
My parents bought #3 for the grandkids. I have to correct something in the article, though.

FTFA: :Apparently the Amazing Flying Monkey is designed to be used like a slingshot, so this is literally a shrieking terror beast to be fired into the faces of other kids.

It doesn't shriek when flying, it screams when it hits the wall or the floor. The grandkids are still too young to have the motor skills to launch it properly, so they just slam it against the wall to hear it scream.

/I hid it last time I was over there.
//my nephew was getting a little too into it

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 03:15:59 PM  
i575.photobucket.com

 
real shaman [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 03:53:49 PM  
what makes you think it was unintentional?

 
Egg. I mean Ann [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 03:59:28 PM  
every toddler in the room will have shiat tearing through the back of their OshKoshes

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 04:20:36 PM  
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have #3 and it is awesome.

Came here to say exactly the same thing.

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 04:30:08 PM  
I like how the guy in the Big Lou commercial pronounces the word "robot" like Dr. Zoidberg.

 
drunk_flowers [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 05:57:53 PM  
number three is the best cat toy ever.

 
Flying Lasagna Monster 2009-06-24 06:12:08 PM  
www.adrants.com

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 06:16:24 PM  
omg HUGO!

Approves!
www.galacticbinder.com

/h0t

 
theorellior 2009-06-24 06:17:55 PM  
Some of those are truly WTF-inspiring. "Struts"? "The Face Bank"? "Yodelling Lederhosen"?

But the brainwave-mapping toy has some serious potential.

 
MiddleyMcCentrist 2009-06-24 06:18:01 PM  
Oh hell yeah, the Man of 1000 Faces... I thought that was cool.

/didn't seem so creepy at the time

 
hej 2009-06-24 06:19:02 PM  
TFA deserves kudo's for finding a reason to work in a pic of Jodie Sweetin.

 
Gunny Highway 2009-06-24 06:20:01 PM  
Some guy I work with has the flying monkey. It isnt disturbing, it is just annoying.

 
knobee 2009-06-24 06:21:23 PM  
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have #3 and it is awesome.

Came here to say just this.

Woot the flying monkey...

 
GoteamVenture 2009-06-24 06:21:49 PM  
teddy ruxpin weirded me out.

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 06:22:07 PM  
MiddleyMcCentrist: Oh hell yeah, the Man of 1000 Faces... I thought that was cool.

/didn't seem so creepy at the time


It's a collectible bust.

 
BroughtToYouByCarlsJr 2009-06-24 06:22:17 PM  
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have #3 and it is awesome.

This. My dog hates that flying, screaming monkey, it works really well to discipline her.

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-06-24 06:22:17 PM  
Erwin the Little Patient looks like the spawn of Joshua (pops).

 
dettigersnw22 2009-06-24 06:22:20 PM  
No Mr. Bucket?

 
Huck Chaser 2009-06-24 06:24:07 PM  
No Furby, with the half-inch gap between its eyes and eyelids?

 
weirdneighbour 2009-06-24 06:24:15 PM  
GAT_00

i575.photobucket.com

LOL , that picture is always hilarious, i love the traumatized look on the kids face.

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-06-24 06:24:27 PM  
I remember when the drill-&-fill playdoh was being marketed. I was too old for playdoh by then, but I thought the idea was fairly cool.

The lookalike doll is for porn. There can be no other reason for something that psycho.

 
mortimer_ford 2009-06-24 06:25:58 PM  
I want to skullfark the facebank and then I can say, 'Keep the change you filthy animal!'

 
Shrugging Atlas 2009-06-24 06:26:22 PM  
Ahem:

img145.imageshack.us

 
spyderqueen 2009-06-24 06:26:28 PM  
Okay, I'm going to have to buy one of the Struts horses for my sister as a joke.

She's 24 and rides regularly, so she will find it HILARIOUS. Not just because they're slutty as all hell, but the idea of horses in high heels (High Horseshoes?) is super ludicrous.

 
F42 2009-06-24 06:26:28 PM  
list is FAIL without the French-Kiss Jar Jar Binks toy (new window)

 
mason4300 2009-06-24 06:29:18 PM  
beerrun: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have #3 and it is awesome.

Came here to say exactly the same thing.


Are those the same as the screaming monkeys you can get in Woot-offs?

 
santadog [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 06:29:51 PM  
img142.imageshack.us


I WANT!

 
Oznog 2009-06-24 06:29:54 PM  
i76.photobucket.com

But that one was still fun.

 
Ecobuckeye 2009-06-24 06:30:49 PM  
knobee: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have #3 and it is awesome.

Came here to say just this.

Woot the flying monkey...


Have it, love it, bought them for my friends.

 
reyalfonso 2009-06-24 06:31:21 PM  
Pastor of Muppets: My parents bought #3 for the grandkids. I have to correct something in the article, though.

FTFA: :Apparently the Amazing Flying Monkey is designed to be used like a slingshot, so this is literally a shrieking terror beast to be fired into the faces of other kids.

It doesn't shriek when flying, it screams when it hits the wall or the floor. The grandkids are still too young to have the motor skills to launch it properly, so they just slam it against the wall to hear it scream.

/I hid it last time I was over there.
//my nephew was getting a little too into it


If you shoot it off fast enough it will shriek during flight, just needs a little jolt to get the insides moving. If you don't shoot it off with enough force it won't shriek until it hits the ground, which I like to think of as shrieks of pain.

Thanks to the horrible Space Chimps game at NY Comic Con I have two of these, freaks out my cats at home and annoys the hell out of coworkers at work.

I love em!

 
mason4300 2009-06-24 06:31:27 PM  
F42: list is FAIL without the French-Kiss Jar Jar Binks toy (new window)

hahahaha! those are awesome, I remember seeing them at Blockbuster a long time ago.

 
somemoron 2009-06-24 06:32:15 PM  
No vibrating Harry Potter brand Magic Flying Broom? That was a genius toy. List fail.

 
Saracuda 2009-06-24 06:32:43 PM  
GoteamVenture: teddy ruxpin weirded me out.

My friend had one and we played Weird Al in Teddy Ruxpin's tape recorder. Hilarious!

/we were ten at the time
//probably not so hilarious now

 
MissDementia 2009-06-24 06:33:38 PM  
zOMGz! I so want that Erwin the Little Patient toy! I can think of so many ways to traumatize the youngest of my family members with that thing. A bit of fake blood, some samples of the shrieking from some of my death metal CDs worked in there somewhere (my son could figure that one out) and it would be instant BWAHAHAHA!!!

/world's oldest brat

 
Fish in a Barrel 2009-06-24 06:34:08 PM  
Glad I'm not the only one who came here to call bullshiat on #3. The flying monkey is awesome.

/No Oozinator makes this list teh fail

 
Spongiform 2009-06-24 06:35:04 PM  
I just ordered the flying monkey and a cow off amazon, woo!

 
jafiwam 2009-06-24 06:35:49 PM  
Where do I sign up to play with this toy?

cdn-www.cracked.com

/Special fun in the file name...

 
AnnoyingKidNextDoor 2009-06-24 06:36:38 PM  
FTFA: We like to think we're above pointing out that this thing totally looks like a cock, which by the way, it does. A cock that shoots dangerous projectiles that can put an eye out (chew on that, Freud).

img442.imageshack.us

 
Oznog 2009-06-24 06:36:43 PM  
www.members.shaw.ca
The Harry Potter vibrating broom?

 
fish500 2009-06-24 06:36:57 PM  
img23.imageshack.us

With Vibrating Action.

 
fish500 2009-06-24 06:37:44 PM  
Dammit! 14 seconds!

 
Kona_Bean 2009-06-24 06:40:30 PM  
If you can find me a store where I can purchase one of the stuffed animal binocular masks, I will do everything in my power to hook you up with the chick in jafiwam's post.

 
swahnhennessy 2009-06-24 06:42:08 PM  
Hear me scream!

 
AvaFark 2009-06-24 06:42:40 PM  
First time I saw one of those flying monkeys was at a family reunion with three-person water-balloon slingshots. That thing would fly at least a hundred feet in the air, screaming the whole time, and come crashing down and start screaming again. It was awesome.

 
dna_level_c [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 06:42:59 PM  
Mom bought a lookalike doll for my sister (porcelain collector's type, not stuffed) It's a good resemblance, but creepy as hell.
Sis keeps it in a permanent outstretched-arms zombie pose.

 
lecas 2009-06-24 06:44:34 PM  
I had a SixFinger(13), was a piece of crap, broke within days of the turnover of my hard earned cash.

number 7 you can get( i think ) at some stupid website that sells stupid stuff.

number 3. the flying monkey, got one, along with a flying pig and a flying frog, all great for terrorizing small children and animals.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-06-24 06:44:50 PM  
What, no Aqua-Pets?

 
guvnor 2009-06-24 06:46:05 PM  
So, Megatron's infamous crotch trigger didn't make it onto the list?

Also, a personal favorite:
www.strangecult.com
♪♫♪ Mr. T, Mr. T, He was made for love! ♪♫♪

 
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