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(Wonkette) Dumbass Having solved all of the world's problems, the White House press corpse turn to the most important question of the week: Obama promised to choose a church by January, why has he broken that promise and who is saving his soul?   (wonkette.com) divider line 44
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44 Comments   (+0 »)


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gothelder 2009-06-20 10:24:24 AM  
Does it really matter since the deity in question (no matter which one) is fake anyway?

 
Sodden Moxie 2009-06-20 10:24:36 AM  
corpse?

 
obama trauma 2009-06-20 10:27:44 AM  
finding a church that hates America as much as Obama does is no easy task. It could take a long time. Give the man some time.

 
mat catastrophe 2009-06-20 10:29:02 AM  
Sodden Moxie: corpse?

I don't think you see what subby did there.

 
TheGreatZarquon 2009-06-20 10:29:16 AM  
I just can't grasp why this is important. Is his choice of church really that relevant to his running the country? I'd think that being churchless would give him an extra day each week to actually get shiat done, instead of spending it in a large building listening to a bunch of people drone on and on about other people's problems.

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2009-06-20 10:30:15 AM  
Obama has been hosting clandestine meetings with Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson.

 
St_Francis_P [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:33:38 AM  
Church? Right:

i18.photobucket.com

 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:34:48 AM  
TheGreatZarquon: I just can't grasp why this is important. Is his choice of church really that relevant to his running the country? I'd think that being churchless would give him an extra day each week to actually get shiat done, instead of spending it in a large building listening to a bunch of people drone on and on about other people's problems.

why do you hate America ? If we don't appease Jesus every week he won't make us the greatest nation on earth and help us destroy our enemies.

 
Gato Negro 2009-06-20 10:40:01 AM  
Well, in one chapter of Bill Ayer's book, Obama kneels before a cross and is converted (from 'what' we aren't told) while hearing God speak to him.

Maybe he should just find a good cross and kneel before it one more time. I'm sure God will 'talk to him' again...

 
drhansenej 2009-06-20 10:40:22 AM  
Jewel will save his soul, with her massive boobies.

 
Archie Goodwin [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:40:53 AM  
Did he say which January?

 
equilibrium 2009-06-20 10:42:48 AM  
St_Francis_P: Church? Right:

Obama is high priest in the Church of F'ing Metal.

ep.yimg.com

 
Calvin Coolidge 2009-06-20 10:46:43 AM  
Fox News needs him to pick a church so they can get to work on destroying the reputation of its pastor.

 
BorgiaGinz [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:54:06 AM  
Calvin Coolidge: Fox News needs him to pick a church so they can get to work on destroying the reputation of its pastor.

I don't like doing this, but THIS!

 
dudemanbro [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:54:24 AM  
He's a secret Mormon.

 
Last One Left [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:54:53 AM  
why has he broken that promise and who is saving his soul?

Ha! Trick question! He's a Democrat, so he's going to hell anyway.

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 10:57:25 AM  

 
ZeroCorpse [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-20 11:07:29 AM  
I think he's an atheist, but he's smart enough to know you don't get elected without pretending to be a Christian... Which is part of why I voted for him.

Personally, I was hoping he was like me (a Gozer worshiper) but I'll settle for atheist or "not committed to a particular church."

 
Shatner's Bassoon [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 11:11:01 AM  
Would be awesome if he announced "sorry, I researched all the churches I could find and decided religion is bullshiat". Might have to wait until his second term before he could risk admitting that though.

 
aagrajag 2009-06-20 11:16:27 AM  
ZeroCorpse: I think he's an atheist, but he's smart enough to know you don't get elected without pretending to be a Christian... Which is part of why I voted for him.

Personally, I was hoping he was like me (a Gozer worshiper) but I'll settle for atheist or "not committed to a particular church."


Well, you don't choose Gozer.

GOZER CHOOSES YOU。

 
Squawker 2009-06-20 11:24:12 AM  
There aren't any Mosques in DC?

 
Gato Negro 2009-06-20 11:25:20 AM  
ZeroCorpse: he's smart enough to know you don't get elected without pretending to be a Christian


Ahhh... isn't that cute.

 
krelborne 2009-06-20 11:27:07 AM  
Calvin Coolidge: Fox News needs him to pick a church so they can get to work on destroying the reputation of its pastor.

Wright's been hard at work destroying his reputation himself.

 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 11:36:09 AM  
Squawker: There aren't any Mosques in DC?

He needs one right next door to a proper church, with a secret tunnel between them. That way he can continue to fool all but the smart people who know the terrible truth.

 
drjekel_mrhyde 2009-06-20 11:38:01 AM  
Shatner's Bassoon: Would be awesome if he announced "sorry, I researched all the churches I could find and decided religion is bullshiat". Might have to wait until his second term before he could risk admitting that though.

That would be the best thing ever

 
oryx 2009-06-20 11:47:00 AM  
obama trauma: finding a church that hates America as much as Obama does is no easy task. It could take a long time. Give the man some time.

Just pick one that belongs to the World Council of Churches.

 
NYZooMan 2009-06-20 12:09:07 PM  
Why would a Muslim need a church?

 
hej 2009-06-20 12:10:41 PM  
I thought that he settled on which mosque he would be attending a couple of months ago?

 
BergZ 2009-06-20 12:15:46 PM  
That's one promise he doesn't need to keep.

 
FlukeBoy [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-20 12:17:39 PM  
Mordant: Squawker: There aren't any Mosques in DC?

He needs one right next door to a proper church, with a secret tunnel between them. That way he can continue to fool all but the smart people who know the terrible truth.


I lol'ed

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 12:33:51 PM  
You guys are going to be totally punked when it turns out that Obama is a Zorastarian.

 
ThreeEyedOni 2009-06-20 12:34:27 PM  
What, they wrote an article about a subject that invariably a lot of (admittedly likely stupid) people will want to read? The shock. The horror. The common sense!

/couldn't care less

 
LordZorch [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 12:46:16 PM  
I'm pretty sure that his god Marx is saving his soul...

 
NeverDrunk23 2009-06-20 12:49:02 PM  
drjekel_mrhyde: Shatner's Bassoon: Would be awesome if he announced "sorry, I researched all the churches I could find and decided religion is bullshiat". Might have to wait until his second term before he could risk admitting that though.

That would be the best thing ever


That would definitely cause 'The Untied States of Jesusland' to form and break off from the rest of the country, forming their own country and leaving us alone.

Where's the downside in this again?

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 01:01:47 PM  
The thing about that tunnel that goes from the church to the mosque? What most of the people who know about that tunnel don't realize is that that mosque has a SECOND tunnel that goes to a nearby synagogue.

 
HansensDisease [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 01:02:34 PM  
Jesus was a Socialist.

 
hej 2009-06-20 01:02:56 PM  
King Something: The thing about that tunnel that goes from the church to the mosque? What most of the people who know about that tunnel don't realize is that that mosque has a SECOND tunnel that goes to a nearby synagogue.

So all the jews are closet muslims too?

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 01:14:50 PM  
You got it backwards, hej - the 'muslims' who use the second tunnel are secret Jews. They go to the mosque, either through the front door or from the church via the tunnel, pose for the cameras, and then (once the Al Jazeera folks leave) they go see their rabbi, who is one of the Five Bankers who control the world's wealth..

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-06-20 01:28:59 PM  
He can't join a church because he keeps bursting into flames when he walks in the door of one.

 
equilibrium 2009-06-20 01:45:53 PM  
HansensDisease: Jesus was a Socialist.

According to Jello, Jesus was a terrorist.

 
karasoth 2009-06-20 02:06:54 PM  
Hobodeluxe: It's hard to find a church that worships Crom in D.C.

Crom does not want Worshipers

 
Alien Robot 2009-06-20 03:35:13 PM  
gothelder: Does it really matter since the deity in question (no matter which one) is fake anyway?

Obama is fake?

 
itastelikechicken 2009-06-20 04:14:36 PM  
AAAHHHH!!! He's a sekrit atheist muslin!

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-06-20 06:58:11 PM  
Mentat: You guys are going to be totally punked when it turns out that Obama is a Zorastarian.

You know who else was a Zorastarian?
i55.photobucket.com

 
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