That's a knotty pine.

I'm glad that fig tree is wearing a fig leaf.

Lots of hortisexuals up in those parts.

Someone, somewhere is tired of her sap.

I'm getting wood.

At first I read that as Sexist trees. It got my hopes up that the world had finally seen the light that this mother nature business has gone too far.

/take that nature and your man hating ways.

Look at the pistils on that one.

Sap my Birch Up

Molly Shannon approved Link (new window)

Obligatory

sleep lack: Sap my Birch Up

+1

Those trees have a certain je ne Sequoia

He speaks for the trees.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? Maybe, if they screamed all the time for no reason.
-- Deep Thoughts... by Jack Handey

Day_Old_Dutchie: He speaks for the trees.



Now he speaks for Liberty Medical, they pay better.

She's a real goer, know what I mean? Wink wink nudge nudge say no more?

That Japanese Cherry Blossom Tree down the block was asking for it. Just look how she dressed...

She's got a nice ash on her!

Sharp limbs, though...

So the author of this article farks trees?

Crazy, man.

/thought that only happened in vermont

Meh... The knothole in the tree in my backyard is as sexy as it gets.

/fap

GreatNOD: /fap

She looks photoshopped around her mid-riff.

Pixels and stuff.

... I'd still do it (after a few pints) though

Maple I would. Redwood.

(giggity)

Who'd have thought we'd finally get a "Sexy Tree Thread"?!?

Here's some "wood for the fire", if you you what I mean...



/knotty, knotty, knotty

h3lx wins this round.

(new window)

EEEK! A penis!

h3lx (His tree pic here)
EEEK! A penis!

/I suck

Did anyone besides me notice the little personals ad on with the title "find your inner slut"?

:O

The Big One tried to nail the Slender One but couldn't get wood because The Voyeur was watching.

The great thing about farking a tree is that when you're done, you can chop it into firewood.

Everyone gets all jailey when you do that with women.

I got not even halfway through the article till I saw the NS4W personal ads on that site. Thanks a lot!

I demand...a SHRUBBERY!

Well, that was an interesting GIS...





Wat, no tits?


The Shagbark Hickory ensured no tree in the forest was left a Virgina Pine, as he took the Maidenhairs one by one...

. I asked if he knew its type. "It's an alderwood and probably 150 years old. I can't be sure of that number." I asked if he was an arborist. "Me? No," he said adjusting his helmet, his face brightening, his eyes somewhat dreamy, and a branch dipping toward his back. "I'm a natural scientist, so I do have some idea about plants. But I'm not an arborist."

Well, considering an "Alderwood" is a mall, not a tree, I'd say he is a crappy natural scientist.

Now, sure, we have red alder trees around here, but they don't get terribly big, they hardly ever last more than 50 years, and they don't look like that photo.



They're also a terrible neighborhood tree, because they have very brittle wood and fall over or drop limbs all the time.

When aliens arrive, the second thing that will be on our minds is how do they do it: from behind, standing up, sitting down, on their hands and knees, back to back, side to side, up and down. Do they fark like humans or like trees?

Wrong. The second thing that will be on our minds is their teeth.



Or their tongues. Or their teeth/tongues. Whatever.

Besides, we already know how they do it: By exchanging long protein strings.

So...what...tre huggers been hittin the old Vagina Pine? I just knew hugging was just a gateway to fookin.

RocketRod: That's a knotty pine.

I stayed there once...in Marysville MO. Nasty hotel...

Shot this in the HOH Rain Forest, Wa.

TREE SEX

...and since no one else said it...THE LARCH.

Fooshards: h3lx wins this round.

Ha!



Have at yew!

treehugging dirt hippies

SgtArkie: treehugging dirt hippies

Yah, trees suck. We don't need no stinkin trees... right?

This thread is surprisingly easy to masturbate to.

santadog: Shot this in the HOH Rain Forest, Wa.

TREE SEX

...and since no one else said it...THE LARCH.

We were up in Sol Duc last weekend; beautiful area, very cool old growth trees.

I really hope some of these trees are the victims of photoshopping. Because otherwise I'll have to start believing in a God, specifically one with a wicked sense of humor.

Newt13: h3lx (His tree pic here)
EEEK! A penis!

/I suck

Oh do you?
/how YOU doin'?

God that..."article" (???)...was mind numbingly stupid

Nothing is sexier than the giant African baobab.

http://bringafricahome.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/p4250174.jpg

//Fark html doesn't like this picture for some reason.