I don't see basketball player or pancake maker anywhere on that list.

Shenanigans.

Jockey.

But not on the lawn. That's racist.

I've nothing to say about Prince, but I'll give my kudos to Subby for a nice use of the subjunctive case.

lantern holder ?

But not on the lawn. That's racist.

or perhaps He could be Katt William's littler and more effeminate sidekick

Test pilot for replacement hips.

rackrent: I've nothing to say about Prince, but I'll give my kudos to Subby for a nice use of the subjunctive case.

OK, he gets props for that, but it's more than offset by trying to turn Fark into some kind of Facebook quiz.

No porn star??

Was interior decorator or fashion designer too obvious?

Prince Nelson would have been a bureaucrat from hell. We all know an anal retentive guy just like him; down at the DMV, at the county courthouse or at any government office complex. You know, the one that makes you wait for no apparent reason, takes great relish in rejecting your paperwork if there is the slightest mistake in it and puts on airs about his own importance. (He's not just a bureaucrat; he represents THE STATE therefore HE IS THE STATE.)

/Just thank the good Lord he became a musician instead.

The real Prince would have been strip club owner.

The current Prince would have been a church choir organizer and/or Amway salesman.

ZeroCorpse: he current Prince would have been a church choir organizer and/or Amway salesman.

The current Prince WOULD be going door to door, but he wouldn't be selling Amway. ;)

He'd still be working part time at the Five-And-Dime, but now he'd be banging Mr. McGee's widow. And making her wear that goddamned beret.

Since he isn't a rock star, shouldn't "pop star" pretty well cover it?

I thought prince was dead and replaced with a look-a-like.