Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

If they have a hankering for some fettuccine or home fries, who am I to judge?

So long and thanks for all the fish.

"So Long and Thanks For the Fries"?

It just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

If they have a hankering for some fettuccine or home fries, who am I to judge?

I was going to say Dolphin steaks but fettuccine and home fries sounds good.

Wewt, pre-marinated eatin!!

Sashimi. Definitely sashimi.

"Beggar has been getting food off boats for 20 years"

Yeah, It's obviously extremely bad for him. Should be killing him right about.....NOW..no,......NOW. Damnit.

Dolphins are more than happy to interact with us bi-peds. Why should it be illegal for us to feed them or give them a swig of beer?

"At times, the result isn't pretty: boat propellers slice into bodies. Hooks and lures end up in bellies. Fishing lines cut through skin."

Yep, sounds like the guy giving the dolphin potato chips is the real problem here. Not the guys fishing, nope, not at all.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:
Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

cetacean needed

holy shiat - this dolphin has been begging for food for 20 years, he is probably going to die lets write this up in the news and alert everyone. btw, what the average lifespan for a dolphin?

20 years

oh.

smkymtnkid: [video game sig pic]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't signatures forbidden on Fark?

A gem from the article:

"One female out here ... grabs the mackerel off the hook and just shows it to the angler," Foster says. "It's like, 'Look. I just got your fish.'"

Unfortunately, the internet has taught me that dolphins are not the beautiful and majestic creatures that National Geographic made them out to be. According to the internet, they are actually giant, aquatic raping machines.



YOU GONNA GET RAPED.

Thanks, internet, for destroying everything.

phlegmmo: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:
Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

cetacean needed

If I had a blowhole, I would have just squirted beer out of it.

Unknown_Poltroon: "At times, the result isn't pretty: boat propellers slice into bodies. Hooks and lures end up in bellies. Fishing lines cut through skin."

Yep, sounds like the guy giving the dolphin potato chips is the real problem here. Not the guys fishing, nope, not at all.

yeah, because fishing is wrong and hurts and shiat.

InfernalCatfish: smkymtnkid: [video game sig pic]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't signatures forbidden on Fark?

I believe you are correct sir, I think we're only allowed to be identified by our assholish reputations.

SynthLord: phlegmmo: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:
Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

cetacean needed

If I had a blowhole, I would have just squirted beer out of it.

How YOU doin'?

FTA: Beggar, a wild dolphin known for leaping out of water when people offer food, is momentarily enticed by a beer bottle. Beggar has been getting food off boats for 20 years in the inland waterway near Nokomis. Feeding dolphins is illegal.

... oh. but is giving a dolphin some beer, feeding him?

So long and thanks for all the beer.

SynthLord: If I had a blowhole, I would have just squirted beer out of it.

I dunno, after having a lot of beer, it seems that a lot of yellow liquid comes out of a part of me. Does that count?

Dolphin: So long and thanks for all the beer.

Well you just won the internetz today.

mxwjs: ... oh. but is giving a dolphin some beer, feeding him?

No, but if the dolphin is under 21, you're giving alcohol to a minor.

theorellior: No, but if the dolphin is under 21, you're giving alcohol to a minor.shiat, better stop giving it to the dog, then...

AlwaysRightBoy: I was going to say Dolphin steaks but fettuccine and home fries sounds good.

If dolphins like dolphin steaks, again, I'd be hard-pressed to argue with them.


phlegmmo: cetacean needed

Two things:

1.) Dolphins never gave their support to Pauly Shore or Larry the Cable Guy. That has to be a compelling argument.

2.) Well played, you magnificent bastard!

/assuming that wordplay was on porpoise, of course

theorellior: No, but if the dolphin is under 21, you're giving alcohol to a minor.shiat, better stop giving it to the dog, then...

/damn HTML

I cant find a picture of Don Rio Impossible Isabanco to approve of this thread


Brock: [sighs] Yeah, he was just this guy. A guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back. But, then I also thought, you know, kill him. What kind of way is that to-
Don Rio: [says stuff]
Interpreter: One time, I am on the Amazon in my canoe, and I see, swim, the dolphin. Uh, the beautiful dolphin. So I slip out of my canoe and I grab her, this fish, uhh, and then I fark it. This fish.
Brock: What the hell's that got to do with anything?!
Don Rio: [says stuff]
Interpreter: Hot dolphin!
Brock: You're an idiot!
Dr. Orpheus: Don Rio is a transcendent, multi-dimensional genius, Brock. His every word an onion of infinite leaf. His every pearl-
[Dr. Orpheus throws up in his bucket]

Weird, both times it looked fine in the preview post. I'm gonna go ahead and give myself a preemptive EPIC FAIL.

Dolphins and sharks have been following ships for thousands of years. Only the quality of the garbage has changed. If we can eat it, so can they.

Scrounging around for human leftovers is how cats domesticated woman and through her, man, not to mention dogs. (Just So Tales, R. Kipling)

It could be co-evolution.

The real danger, if the "high food value" theory of evolution is true, is that animals will develop big giant brains, learn to talk, and then take over the world.

I'm putting my money on raccoons. They've got those clever little, spookily humanoid hands and they're smart enough to wash tooth-destroying grit off of their food.

Bears are too big and will probably join the rest of the mega-fauna in extinction before we go. Cats may not be as smart as they look. Dogs probably couldn't survive without us because let's face it, if you're not the Leader of the Pack, you're the underdog. Either way, you're the one who knows how to work the high technology, such as door knobs and can-openers.

Rats are too small. Raccoons will use them as dogs. (Don't cry for them. They'll get their turn in another couple of million years when the raccoons destroy the clam beds.)

InfernalCatfish: smkymtnkid: [video game sig pic]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't signatures forbidden on Fark?

I'm not sure but either way it's still a gooberish thing to do.

Whats that Beggar? Timmy's stuck in a well? Thanks!

© wrong show?

wants steak.

I just want to know if dolphins ever jump out of their tanks by accident, like we would slip into a pool.

/Blackened dolphin with a beer.... yum!

HappyLittleTree: I just want to know if dolphins ever jump out of their tanks by accident, like we would slip into a pool.

From what I've read, its not an unheard of occurrence. I remember a story about a baby jumping clear into the next tank.

Xerxes99: /Blackened dolphin with a beer.... yum!

OMG, I want to eat Dolphin. Where can I get some (from a menu, of course)?

Um did anyone else see in the article?

A commercial fisherman out of Panama City grew so frustrated with dolphin stealing his catch that he threw pipe bombs at them. His prior felony record didn't help and he was recently sentenced to two years in prison.

/lol'd at the thought of some drunk fisherman throwing pipe bombs
//they're comin' right for us!

theorellior: mxwjs: ... oh. but is giving a dolphin some beer, feeding him?

No, but if the dolphin is under 21, you're giving alcohol to a minor.

Human or dolphin years?

FTFA: Comparatively speaking, losing four dolphin in Sarasota Bay is like losing 20,000 Pinellas County residents to unnatural death.

No, it's not.

Glitchwerks: Thanks, internet, for destroying everything.

Oh come on, who would mind rape while seeing a cute face like that, rape.

WhyteRaven74: Glitchwerks: Thanks, internet, for destroying everything.

Oh come on, who would mind rape while seeing a cute face like that, rape.

/coming from a guy who looks like Jame Gumb.... that comment is really disturbing.

WhyteRaven74: Glitchwerks: Thanks, internet, for destroying everything.

Oh come on, who would mind rape while seeing a cute face like that, rape.

You said rape twice.

Magnanimous_J: You said rape twice.

I like rape.

/yes! finally got to play this meme!

The_Time_Master: Xerxes99: /Blackened dolphin with a beer.... yum!

OMG, I want to eat Dolphin. Where can I get some (from a menu, of course)?

Judging from the serving suggestion, the picture hails from the US of A, which probably means Floriduh itself, and you can order that dish in any fish restaurant.

It's not mammal, it's fish ... "dolphin (fish)" is the local name for mahi-mahi.

phlegmmo: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:
Dolphins are the smartest mammals on the face of the planet.

cetacean needed

Genius!

Dolphin Fish do not work that way!!!!!

The MahiMahi(Dolphin) you get is actually dolphin fish not a dolphin.



You're not gonna get raped

Shakes tiny fish

Damn you ParaHandy!!!

phlegmmo: cetacean needed

Life, internet, you win it all. I bow to your win.

Glitchwerks: Unfortunately, the internet has taught me that dolphins are not the beautiful and majestic creatures that National Geographic made them out to be. According to the internet, they are actually giant, aquatic raping machines.



YOU GONNA GET RAPED.

Thanks, internet, for destroying everything.

Dolphins with opposable thumbs. We're farked. (new window)

Florida's Panhandle is crack central.

Alrighty, then.