![[Continue Farking]](http://img.fark.net/images/2007/site/continue.gif)
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support
style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
| (Amherst Bulletin) |  |
Dear homeowner: We are improving your street. No changes will be made to your street. Sign this form to donate your house to the town. Plans are on file in the garage. Beware of the leopard (amherstbulletin.com) |  |
136 |
| More: Stupid | ||||
• • •
26757 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2009 at 9:12 AM |
Favorite
| share: 
more» | 
shirt it!
26757 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2009 at 9:12 AM |
Favorite
| share: more» | shirt it! 136 Comments (+0 »)
Archived thread
| Proud2B_American | 2009-06-07 09:15:15 AM |
Also: "You have 30 minutes to move your car', 'You have 10 minutes to move your car', 'Your car has been impounded', 'Your car has been crushed into a cube', 'You have 30 minutes to move your cube."
| Proud2B_American | 2009-06-07 09:15:54 AM |
All your house are belong to us!
Somaticasual
![[TotalFark]](http://img.fark.net/images/2003/totalfark.gif "[TotalFark]"){kind=small} |
2009-06-07 09:16:18 AM |
"Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
| Madbassist1
|
2009-06-07 09:18:29 AM |
wow insta-green.
| Last One Left
|
2009-06-07 09:18:39 AM |
I'd sign the donation form and follow up with a letter:
Dear Pelham Board of Selectmen,
I am proposing to alter a portion of a previously signed donation form, for a section of approximately 2 inches, between the end of the typed content and the terminus of page. This portion of the document was signed in 2009, and, although the signature has been in the same location for nearly 2 days, it was not signed in the precise manner as is usual in my signature design. The purpose of the alteration is to reconcile the document and my actual signature.
[Enter lawyer firm name here] is requiring that the issue of the discrepancy between the signature, as laid out, and the signature as designed, be addressed. Please understand, however, that the signature as altered will not change the document as now laid out.
mialynneb
![[recently expired TotalFark]](http://img.fark.net/images/2009/site/totalfark_grey.gif "[recently expired TotalFark]"){kind=small} |
2009-06-07 09:18:53 AM |
Somaticasual: "Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
| TeddyBallGame
|
2009-06-07 09:19:34 AM |
I... wh... I...
"This was the perfect storm," said Peter O'Sullivan, the city's director of street furniture, who is in charge of sidewalk restrooms, kiosks, bus shelters, and the like. "There were more complications on this one than on any toilet we've worked on."
I just... forget it.
"This was the perfect storm," said Peter O'Sullivan, the city's director of street furniture, who is in charge of sidewalk restrooms, kiosks, bus shelters, and the like. "There were more complications on this one than on any toilet we've worked on."
I just... forget it.
| pudgyv | 2009-06-07 09:19:44 AM |
Mass Highways -- Massholes. What is it that turns an ordinary Joe into a freaking idiot when he takes a state job?
| global wombats
|
2009-06-07 09:19:59 AM |
| Hobodeluxe
|
2009-06-07 09:20:32 AM |
wtf? Looks like an eminent domain seizure is happening and they are trying to minimize the litigation by giving people this misleading and confusing waiver to sign in hope they'll all just acquiesce to authority or be ignorant of what they were really signing.
| Anyone seen my pants | 2009-06-07 09:21:44 AM |
Dear *so and so*,
We have decided to build a new school building, to replace the old one. We have decided to use the site of the old building for the new building. To help save on costs, all the materials of the old building will be re-used in the construction of the new building. The old building will continue to be used until the new building is completed.
Thank you.
/Purely from memory
We have decided to build a new school building, to replace the old one. We have decided to use the site of the old building for the new building. To help save on costs, all the materials of the old building will be re-used in the construction of the new building. The old building will continue to be used until the new building is completed.
Thank you.
/Purely from memory
| Scutter | 2009-06-07 09:22:43 AM |
Part 712 in our continuing series: Reasons Not To Live In Mass.
| atomic-age
|
2009-06-07 09:23:47 AM |
Sounds like where I live.
If they had not been stopped, our city commission would've Eminent Domained everything that did not belong to themselves or their cronies and given it away to their cronies while graciously permitting the taxpayers to pay for the fiasco that ensued.
If they had not been stopped, our city commission would've Eminent Domained everything that did not belong to themselves or their cronies and given it away to their cronies while graciously permitting the taxpayers to pay for the fiasco that ensued.
| Demetrius
|
2009-06-07 09:24:08 AM |
If Paul Harvey were still alive, we'd get the rest of the story.
| dustman81
|
2009-06-07 09:24:25 AM |
They wanted him to donate a unspecified piece of land to make the road match the layout on the map?
Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to get the map to match the location of the road?
/Then again, this is government
Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to get the map to match the location of the road?
/Then again, this is government
| Pardon Me Sultan | 2009-06-07 09:25:34 AM |
/seen nearby
| notmtwain
|
2009-06-07 09:27:12 AM |
mialynneb: Somaticasual: "Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
| ka1axy | 2009-06-07 09:28:45 AM |
pudgyv: Mass Highways -- Massholes. What is it that turns an ordinary Joe into a freaking idiot when he takes a state job?
Lack of physical labor.
//that was too easy...may I have another question, please?
Lack of physical labor.
//that was too easy...may I have another question, please?
| Homer_J_Fong | 2009-06-07 09:31:13 AM |
notmtwain: mialynneb: Somaticasual: "Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
You're a haaaaard Man, McGee!!
/great OTR character.
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
You're a haaaaard Man, McGee!!
/great OTR character.
| Outtaphase
|
2009-06-07 09:34:03 AM |
I found the posting on the construction details (pops), apparently they want to do $6 million dollars worth of making it do what it does today.
| Maddogjew
|
2009-06-07 09:34:50 AM |
ka1axy: //that was too easy...may I have another question, please?
OK, if mass = force * acceleration, then what would be the mass of an object at complete rest be in a weightless environment?
OK, if mass = force * acceleration, then what would be the mass of an object at complete rest be in a weightless environment?
| farkinawsome | 2009-06-07 09:35:27 AM |
purple monkey dishwasher.
| FapJack | 2009-06-07 09:37:24 AM |
How does New Hamshire stand it's nieghbors?
| Fluorescent Testicle
|
2009-06-07 09:40:04 AM |
Whoever wrote that letter accidentally the whole thing. Goddamn.
| ka1axy | 2009-06-07 09:41:25 AM |
Outtaphase: I found the posting on the construction details (pops), apparently they want to do $6 million dollars worth of making it do what it does today.
And they have been wanting to do it since 1995, and will finally get around to doing this "minor realignment, widening and overlaying" around the Winter of 2011.
That's efficiency other states can only dream of. 16 years of planning and approval to make "minor" changes to 4.2 miles of secondary road.
Makes that bridge on my commute route that was torn up for 5 years look like a fast track project.
And they have been wanting to do it since 1995, and will finally get around to doing this "minor realignment, widening and overlaying" around the Winter of 2011.
That's efficiency other states can only dream of. 16 years of planning and approval to make "minor" changes to 4.2 miles of secondary road.
Makes that bridge on my commute route that was torn up for 5 years look like a fast track project.
| DarkCat | 2009-06-07 09:42:05 AM |
I'm glad we all thought along the same lines... This guy better have a good towel, a few packs of peanuts, and a friend named Ford Prefect that has a particular useful book.
| CitizenjaQ | 2009-06-07 09:42:13 AM |
Maddogjew: ka1axy: //that was too easy...may I have another question, please?
OK, if mass = force * acceleration, then what would be the mass of an object at complete rest be in a weightless environment?
So, this is a hypothetical universe with different laws of physics, then?
OK, if mass = force * acceleration, then what would be the mass of an object at complete rest be in a weightless environment?
So, this is a hypothetical universe with different laws of physics, then?
| AliasUndercover | 2009-06-07 09:46:10 AM |
OK, if mass = force * acceleration, then what would be the mass of an object at complete rest be in a weightless environment?
You can figure it out by smacking your face into it.
You can figure it out by smacking your face into it.
| certifiedMasshole | 2009-06-07 09:47:05 AM |
I live about a half mile from where the guy in the article lives, so i'm getting a kick out of these replies.
/rry
/rry
| Treetop1000 | 2009-06-07 09:48:58 AM |
Outtaphase: I found the posting on the construction details (pops), apparently they want to do $6 million dollars worth of making it do what it does today.
Yeah, that.
If you look close at the dates on that document, they started this back in 1995.
It's not new or anything like that.
I mean, they did put the plans out there for people to see.
in the basement.
for 14 years.
What I really want to know is why?
It's not like the roads gonna go anywhere... it is Massachusetts.
And on this day, some wag will start calling it the remake of the remake:
"The taking of Pelham 1,2,3. Done!"
on the other hand, the environmental permit expires in Jan 2010,
so if the landowners can tie up the bureaucrats for just 7 months more, the selectmen get to start the process all over?
Yeah, that.
If you look close at the dates on that document, they started this back in 1995.
It's not new or anything like that.
I mean, they did put the plans out there for people to see.
in the basement.
for 14 years.
What I really want to know is why?
It's not like the roads gonna go anywhere... it is Massachusetts.
And on this day, some wag will start calling it the remake of the remake:
"The taking of Pelham 1,2,3. Done!"
on the other hand, the environmental permit expires in Jan 2010,
so if the landowners can tie up the bureaucrats for just 7 months more, the selectmen get to start the process all over?
| VictoryCabal
|
2009-06-07 09:49:37 AM |
So, has this turned into an OTR thread yet?
| adsllc | 2009-06-07 09:50:29 AM |
ka1axy: may I have another question, please?
Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea-cake?
Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea-cake?
| Outtaphase
|
2009-06-07 09:51:48 AM |
Treetop1000: on the other hand, the environmental permit expires in Jan 2010,
so if the landowners can tie up the bureaucrats for just 7 months more, the selectmen get to start the process all over?
Well, construction isn't scheduled to start for another 2 or 3 years, (in the winter no less), so this problem may solve itself.
so if the landowners can tie up the bureaucrats for just 7 months more, the selectmen get to start the process all over?
Well, construction isn't scheduled to start for another 2 or 3 years, (in the winter no less), so this problem may solve itself.
| jdemartino | 2009-06-07 09:53:22 AM |
Sounds like somebody's got $6 million in federal "economic stimulus" money to spend, earmarked for roadwork, and no actual road projects to be done. Hence the phantom road repair three-card-monte game. The 6 mil will probably go to a consulting company run by the mayor's wife and an engineering firm owned by his brother-in-law, which will turn out a 600 page report nobody will read and 40 pages of drawings and diagrams no one will look at, respectively. When he retires the mayor will go to work for the consulting company and become a part-time lobbyist for the engineering firm. :-)
Later,
Joe
Later,
Joe
| Big Cheese Make Hair Go Boom
|
2009-06-07 09:54:39 AM |
So the State Government is trying to use a bassaquards, dare I call it "tricky" way to use eminent domain to make a road match a map...a VERY old map. They must do this construction to comply with state law? Spending millions to make a road match a map, not the map match the road as is?
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
| Outtaphase
|
2009-06-07 09:59:41 AM |
I think if the letter said "We're repaving the road. In the process of doing so, we might f*ck up the edge of your lawn, and your driveway might not meet the road the way it does today for a little while. Please acknowledge that you're cool with this"; things would be a bit simpler.
| FriarReb98
|
2009-06-07 10:00:46 AM |
Somaticasual: "Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
It's Amherst. There's some good, good stuff to be had up there.
It's Amherst. There's some good, good stuff to be had up there.
| Englebert Slaptyback | 2009-06-07 10:01:33 AM |
Maddogjew
OK, if mass = force * acceleration
Which it doesn't.
| Treetop1000 | 2009-06-07 10:01:48 AM |
Big Cheese Make Hair Go Boom: So the State Government is trying to use a bassaquards, dare I call it "tricky" way to use eminent domain to make a road match a map...a VERY old map. They must do this construction to comply with state law? Spending millions to make a road match a map, not the map match the road as is?
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
cue the "this is SPARTA!!" guy...
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
cue the "this is SPARTA!!" guy...
| Outtaphase
|
2009-06-07 10:03:12 AM |
Outtaphase: things would be a bit simpler.
Oh, and it might not cost $6mil. If govt. were a business they'd be bankrupt before they figured out how to hang the sign out front.
Oh, and it might not cost $6mil. If govt. were a business they'd be bankrupt before they figured out how to hang the sign out front.
| vudukungfu | 2009-06-07 10:03:15 AM |
jdemartino: Sounds like somebody's got $6 million in federal "economic stimulus" money to spend, earmarked for roadwork, and no actual road projects to be done. Hence the phantom road repair three-card-monte game. The 6 mil will probably go to a consulting company run by the mayor's wife and an engineering firm owned by his brother-in-law, which will turn out a 600 page report nobody will read and 40 pages of drawings and diagrams no one will look at, respectively. When he retires the mayor will go to work for the consulting company and become a part-time lobbyist for the engineering firm. :-)
Later,
Joe
You are either from there, or PA.
Later,
Joe
You are either from there, or PA.
| 7wolf | 2009-06-07 10:03:46 AM |
Is weed legal in that state or something?
| zamboni | 2009-06-07 10:04:03 AM |
notmtwain: mialynneb: Somaticasual: "Throckmorton Gildersleeve"? You'd think they could at least come up with a more normal fake name..
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
Jesus... you could put an eye out trying to motorboat those!
I actually like it - took a lot to come up with that. Better than John Smith etc.
Throckmorton Gildersleeve is a classic radio character from the 1940's Fibber McFee & Molly and later from his own show, The Great Gildersleeve.
Jesus... you could put an eye out trying to motorboat those!
| sdtangler | 2009-06-07 10:05:34 AM |
The person(s) that wrote that letter need to be numbered among the unemployed.
| General Vayo
|
2009-06-07 10:05:44 AM |
Big Cheese Make Hair Go Boom: So the State Government is trying to use a bassaquards, dare I call it "tricky" way to use eminent domain to make a road match a map...a VERY old map. They must do this construction to comply with state law? Spending millions to make a road match a map, not the map match the road as is?
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
Nope, it's just government screwing up, as always.
They should shoot the gasbags that came up with this idea. And then nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure.
W.T.F???
Am I missing something here?
Nope, it's just government screwing up, as always.
They should shoot the gasbags that came up with this idea. And then nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure.
| FriarReb98
|
2009-06-07 10:06:07 AM |
ka1axy: Makes that bridge on my commute route that was torn up for 5 years look like a fast track project.
Five years? Pfft. Amateurs. IIRC, two bridges in Barrington, Rhode Island are going on ten years gone and still not open.
Five years? Pfft. Amateurs. IIRC, two bridges in Barrington, Rhode Island are going on ten years gone and still not open.
| nucal | 2009-06-07 10:07:37 AM |
| Radio Boy | 2009-06-07 10:08:24 AM |
| cryinoutloud
|
2009-06-07 10:09:11 AM |
The board requests that all of the owners of each property sign the document, and return it to the town clerk & no later than Friday, April 24, 2009.
Did they really think that people are just going to sign something that makes no sense, and return the form? People don't even fill out rebate forms, use gift cards.
Nice try, though.
Did they really think that people are just going to sign something that makes no sense, and return the form? People don't even fill out rebate forms, use gift cards.
Nice try, though.
| Another Government Employee | 2009-06-07 10:09:44 AM |
Open ended condemnation. Very good.
Displayed 50 of 136 comments
Tools
Community
Media Friends
Link To Us
Hosted by
Community
All Latest
Link Voting
Press/Publicity
Fark Blogs
Fark Book
Fark Travel Guide
Fark Forum
Sports Forum
Showbiz Forum
Geek Forum
Politics Forum
Photoshop Forum
Fark Chat
Fark Parties
Fark Party Forum
LeadersLink Voting
Press/Publicity
Fark Blogs
Fark Book
Fark Travel Guide
Fark Forum
Sports Forum
Showbiz Forum
Geek Forum
Politics Forum
Photoshop Forum
Fark Chat
Fark Parties
Fark Party Forum
Media Friends
Atom
Bob and Tom
Boortz
Colin Cowherd
Comedy Central
Doc Reno
Jim Kerr - Q104.3
Keith Olbermann
Oddly Enough
Opie and Anthony
Pravda.ru
Rolling Stone
SideReel
Spike
TheSmokingGun
The Sun
Twitch / Z103
UPI.com
Site FriendsBob and Tom
Boortz
Colin Cowherd
Comedy Central
Doc Reno
Jim Kerr - Q104.3
Keith Olbermann
Oddly Enough
Opie and Anthony
Pravda.ru
Rolling Stone
SideReel
Spike
TheSmokingGun
The Sun
Twitch / Z103
UPI.com
April Winchell
AskMen.com
BBspot
Bullz-Eye
Farktography
Fazed
I-Mockery
Mentally Incontinent
NinjaBurger
Retro CRUSH
SbB
WilWheaton.net
Zug
Fark onAskMen.com
BBspot
Bullz-Eye
Farktography
Fazed
I-Mockery
Mentally Incontinent
NinjaBurger
Retro CRUSH
SbB
WilWheaton.net
Zug
Link To Us
Hosted by
Advertise
 |
Fark :: Not News | Sports | Business | Geek | Showbiz | Politics | Music | Video | All Links TotalFark :: TotalFark | TF Discussion | All Submitted Links | All Commented Links | Link Voting Contests :: Photoshop | Farktography | VideoEdit | Caption | Headline of the Week FArQ :: About Us | Quick Answers | FarkIt | Posting Rules | Farkisms Fark Shop :: Headline Shirts | Fark Book |
Submit A Link »
Copyright © 1999-2009 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Fri Nov 27 12:04:56 2009 -- G
Contact us | Report a bug/error msg | Terms of service/legal/privacy policy
Runtime: 0.899 sec 