Intern 1: But you can just look stuff up on Wikipedia now. I mean, I can learn more in twenty seconds than I could from reading books.
Intern 2: I totally agree.

Oh, my...

Oooh! A generation dick-measuring contest! These threads are awesome, but I'm going to need some popcorn...

I had three DC internships turned down so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.

My sister interned for a congresswoman a few years ago, and yes, I can see how her antics would be annoying to the locals.

/Chicago local annoyed by outsiders
//Looking at you, tourist Cubs fans on the red line
///Cub fan

That_Dude: Oooh! A generation dick-measuring contest! These threads are awesome, but I'm going to need some popcorn...

Not a generation dick measuring contest as much as a we hate outsiders thing.

/works in DC
// Yells at tourists all the time

As a former REPRESENTATIVE INTERN myself, this blog is spot f*cking on. Never met a bigger collection of twatwaffles in my entire life.

/DC would be a pretty cool town if you got rid of all the douchebags
//It would also be almost completely empty.

ToddMU03: /works in DC
// Yells at tourists all the time

DC is an interesting place in that no one is really from there. So in order to feel more "local," people overreact to stupid things tourists may do (usually far more inane than what this blog brings up), and take way too much pride in stuff like, "I know which side of the metro escalator is for standing!"

I am annoyed by people who are easily annoyed.

Stop whining.

I overheard one of our interns talking to one of the NYLC high school kids that swarm the Hill from time to time.

High School Kid: "Are Ted Kennedy and Edward Kennedy related?"

Intern (authoritatively): "They're brothers."

Well, they do have the same parents! *rolls eyes and snickers*


/Then again, we have people in Philly who will proudly point out the statue of Ben Franklin on top of City Hall
//*facepalm*

And I screwed up my italics. Wonderful. I need a nap.

spyderqueen: And I screwed up my italics. Wonderful. I need a nap.

*rolls eyes and snickers*

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: ToddMU03: /works in DC
// Yells at tourists all the time

DC is an interesting place in that no one is really from there. So in order to feel more "local," people overreact to stupid things tourists may do (usually far more inane than what this blog brings up), and take way too much pride in stuff like, "I know which side of the metro escalator is for standing!"

Says the person from Kansas.

spyderqueen: And I screwed up my italics. Wonderful. I need a nap.

Blame it on an intern. I hear they're dumb.

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: ToddMU03: /works in DC
// Yells at tourists all the time

DC is an interesting place in that no one is really from there.

The descendents of freedmen and slaves say, 'What?'

/I guess as that intern, you had no reason to trip through Chocolate City.
//It's cool. I guess.
///Not really.
//All streets have names.
/U2 sux.

Sure they sound like idiots, but aren't these interns 18 year old kids?

They'd be idiots if they were lifegaurding or working construction. These ones just happen to be pretentious along with dumb.

One thing about the interns where I work is that they are easy targets for foreign intel recruiting. More specifically, the Israelis. They REALLY like inviting them all to their events. Because the average 18 year old has no idea what a bunch of back-stabbing motherfarkers the Israelis are.

DC Intern = Hot, well dressed Chicks who are smart, wealthy and shag like wild lemurs.

/loves DC
//spent a few summers there
///hot pickup spot - dry cleaners - seriously.

Lionel Mandrake: Intern 1: But you can just look stuff up on Wikipedia now. I mean, I can learn more in twenty seconds than I could from reading books.
Intern 2: I totally agree.

Oh, my...

That's not nearly as precious as "Oh, I'm really good with numbers. Just not the times tables. I gave up on those." I don't think someone that dumb could even score above 400 on their math SATs.

Reminds me of law school. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Summer internships were an absolute clown show. I especially liked the dickheads who wore bow ties and always seemed to have one hand on their chin, slowly nodding in agreement as if they actually understood what the people around them were talking about. There are times when "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Ah, the joys of people in over their head who don't even know it. This shall be quite the read.

Doctor Funkenstein: Reminds me of law school. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Summer internships were an absolute clown show. I especially liked the dickheads who wore bow ties and always seemed to have one hand on their chin, slowly nodding in agreement as if they actually understood what the people around them were talking about. There are times when "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Or when they sprout off craptastic industry terms to sound like they know what the fark they are talking about. You have interned or been in the field for a year. Come back in another 10 and then talk shop.

Puke-talkers is what I have always called them - puke out some MBA style keywords even though they have no idea what they are really saying.

/calls people out on that crap every single day
//seriously, my industry is full of them and i make fun of them constantly
///you can be intelligent without throwing around smug words
////yes I am sure I have grammar issues in this post

DFWPhotoGuy

"DC Intern = Hot, well dressed Chicks who are smart, wealthy and shag like wild lemurs."

Everyone says this. I refuse to believe it but in fairness, I've never been there.

/ would never want to live or work there
// too dirty, crowded and expensive

Gosling: Ah, the joys of people in over their head who don't even know it. This shall be quite the read.

I think they normally know it, they just deny it because to accept that would mean admitting that they have no clue. Fake it tell you make it. Right?

Loves me some young male interns!

MBA Whore: DFWPhotoGuy

"DC Intern = Hot, well dressed Chicks who are smart, wealthy and shag like wild lemurs."

Everyone says this. I refuse to believe it but in fairness, I've never been there.


/ would never want to live or work there
// too dirty, crowded and expensive


Submitted for your pleasure

DFWPhotoGuy: Or when they sprout off craptastic industry terms to sound like they know what the fark they are talking about.

My favorites are the douches who are about one or two years into law school and try to drop latin terms.

"Do we have the requisite mens rea?"

"We're drafting a will, you useless f*ck. Go make a pot of coffee."

As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

fiegel07: As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

Just stay on the proper side of the escalator and no one gets hurt.

Sgt. Pepper: fiegel07: As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

Just stay on the proper side of the escalator and no one gets hurt.

That would be the middle, correct?

DFWPhotoGuy Quote 2009-06-06 03:47:42 PM
MBA Whore: DFWPhotoGuy

"Submitted for your pleasure"

If I knew how to insert the "Not So Sure If Serious" Joker photo, then I would do so.

/ how do you do so?
// not tech smrt
/// just a dumb whore with an MBA

MBA Whore: DFWPhotoGuy Quote 2009-06-06 03:47:42 PM
MBA Whore: DFWPhotoGuy

"Submitted for your pleasure"

If I knew how to insert the "Not So Sure If Serious" Joker photo, then I would do so.


/ how do you do so?
// not tech smrt
/// just a dumb whore with an MBA

BTW...i knocked MBA grads in my previous post - then i saw your handle and felt a pang of guilt. Not all MBA grads or students are douches - just ones that fit the stereo types. Old school MBA Grad = Good. MBA Grad within the past decade = high probability of douchebaggery.

/regardless of when you graduated you are cool
//because you are on fark
///and you use slashies and are a man whore.

GrooveMonkeyZero: //Looking at you, tourist Cubs fans on the red line

You have to admit that putting both baseball teams on the same subway line is a big mistake, though.

DFWPhotoGuy: MBA Grad within the past decade = high probability of douchebaggery.

Of the ~40 people I know or have known over the past few years that have recent MBA's, all but a few were douchebag extraordinaires.

Doctor Funkenstein: DFWPhotoGuy: Or when they sprout off craptastic industry terms to sound like they know what the fark they are talking about.

My favorites are the douches who are about one or two years into law school and try to drop latin terms.

"Do we have the requisite mens rea?"

"We're drafting a will, you useless f*ck. Go make a pot of coffee."

Oh God, how I used to love the "Baby Lawyers". And I was "just" the IOLTA accountant.

Doctor Funkenstein: Reminds me of law school. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Summer internships were an absolute clown show. I especially liked the dickheads who wore bow ties and always seemed to have one hand on their chin, slowly nodding in agreement as if they actually understood what the people around them were talking about. There are times when "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Law school is where I learned never to trust anyone wearing a bowtie. So far, this piece of wisdom has not failed me.

I've found that first year law students (and those who have just found out they've been accepted to law school) are the ones with overinflated senses of self-worth. It's amazing how their heads seem to deflate like a popped balloon after they realize it's not college anymore and professors can and will humiliate you if they feel like it.

fiegel07: Sgt. Pepper: fiegel07: As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

Just stay on the proper side of the escalator and no one gets hurt.

That would be the middle, correct?

Hey, are you the guy I wanted to stab in the neck this morning at Archives?

I wanted to be one of those douchebags but unfortunately I wasn't accepted for any internships this summer.

Do people like this really exist? I can never understand how anyone could think of themselves as being so self-important. Although I did find the posts funny, they also annoyed the crap out of me reading them. Some humility goes a long way.

/This is coming from a 21 year old
//Working two jobs while going to school
///Really hope that these people aren't the ones who are poised to take over

Trius: Do people like this really exist? I can never understand how anyone could think of themselves as being so self-important. Although I did find the posts funny, they also annoyed the crap out of me reading them. Some humility goes a long way.

/This is coming from a 21 year old
//Working two jobs while going to school
///Really hope that these people aren't the ones who are poised to take over

They'll take over unless the rest of us jump in and beat them out for the jobs. So stand up and make yourself counted, or else the stupid and entitled take the prize.

There's no sense complaining about stupid people, or blaming it on any generational aspects - there are people like this in every generation, and it always works the same way.

So put in your applications, prove yourself, and take your place in power. Otherwise you've got no reason to biatch.

I'm not sure who they are trying to kid but pretty much everyone on the dang hill is too self important not just the interns. I hated the whole, who do you work for, who do you know BS that happened within the first 5 min of meeting someone.

/had a flaming friend who interned for Dick Sweat (NH Congressperson) ohhh the jokes we told

MacEnvy: fiegel07: Sgt. Pepper: fiegel07: As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

Just stay on the proper side of the escalator and no one gets hurt.

That would be the middle, correct?

Hey, are you the guy I wanted to stab in the neck this morning at Archives?

If I am ever found to be blocking the escalator, then I hope someone would stab me in the neck. Those people really annoy me, even though I rarely actually walk up the escalator.

I'm not trying biatch, all I am is surprised.

/guess I shouldn't be

fiegel07: MacEnvy: fiegel07: Sgt. Pepper: fiegel07: As an intern in DC this summer I'm really getting a kick out of these replies

Just stay on the proper side of the escalator and no one gets hurt.

That would be the middle, correct?

Hey, are you the guy I wanted to stab in the neck this morning at Archives?

If I am ever found to be blocking the escalator, then I hope someone would stab me in the neck. Those people really annoy me, even though I rarely actually walk up the escalator.

If I am ever found to be blocking the escalor, it's probably because I've been stabbed and am lying over 7 steps.

I'm an unpaid intern for a small, public interest immigrant advocacy center in Miami, so I'm weeping softly out of this...

MBA Whore: / how do you do so?

Copy the pic URL. Then second button from the right, in the button bar just above the comment box (the one with what looks like mountains in a box). Click it. Then see where cursor is blinking? Paste the URL of the pic. Click Add Comment. Wipe hands on pants.

This is my favorite so far.

Typical Hill Intern responsibilities: Manning the phones, giving Capitol tours, sorting mail, doing research, attending meetings.

Typical Hill Intern privileges: Sneaking back into the office at night to play internet "second life-esque" games?

So apparently "Gamer" figured out that there was a secret hidden key for the office and proceeded to brag to the other interns that she was spending four to six hours in the middle of the night at the office playing online games, and tried to get Staffers to sign up online for the same game.

Her reasoning for why spending the wee hours of the morning at a House office building playing computer games was a good idea: "I'm getting to know the security guards here really well. They totally recognize me now." Oh, really? They recognize the intern that comes back to the office at midnight every night? Shocking. I guess that's a twisted form of networking? So, in true passive aggressive fashion, the other interns removed the hidden key and placed a note in its place that read "go home and go to sleep."

The next day they found a note written in response "Hee Hee I guess you know where the key is too."

There are no words.....

The best thing about intern season in DC...

NO BAG LIMIT!

fiegel07: If I am ever found to be blocking the escalator, then I hope someone would stab me in the neck. Those people really annoy me, even though I rarely actually walk up the escalator.

Honestly I don't mind that so much as the guy who steps off the escalator and immediately stops to check the map, blocking everyone else's exit.

I was a Congressional intern last summer, what a miserable experience. I had a great time living in the city, but the work was thankless and menial. Also, I had to spend time with some of the most insufferable people on the planet. I believe all the things I read on that blog about the interns' inflated sense of self importance. I'm bookmarking this because I know the worst is yet to come.

Now That's What I Call a Taco!:
DC is an interesting place in that no one is really from there. So in order to feel more "local," people overreact to stupid things tourists may do (usually far more inane than what this blog brings up), and take way too much pride in stuff like, "I know which side of the metro escalator is for standing!"

I'm not from here, and I hate it here.

But people who don't know which side of the farking escalator is for standing have caused me to miss my connecting train at least 10 times a month. And then I get to sit around on my ass waiting for the next one. Which I hate.

There's farking signs.

Also: I hate people who wear their badges around like in the one story on that website. It is not a status symbol. It is a security badge. If you are not in an area where it must be displayed, PUT IT AWAY.
Also: nobody is impressed. 95% of the people on the Metro have badges.