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(theGauntlet) Sad The once great Ozzy Osbourne has been reduced to a pitchman by wife Sharon   (thegauntlet.com) divider line 55
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3229 clicks; posted to Music » on 03 Jun 2009 at 5:12 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 11:59:21 AM  
You sure the drugs didn't have a hand in his undoing, Subby?

 
missmez [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 12:22:06 PM  
As oppposed to his inevitable overdose death he would have suffered without her?

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-03 01:39:30 PM  
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: You sure the drugs didn't have a hand in his undoing, Subby?

missmez: As oppposed to his inevitable overdose death he would have suffered without her?

Aaaaaaand the TFers get the KO after the 1-2 punch combo!

 
Bad_ad85 2009-06-03 02:09:48 PM  
Well y'see, It's like Jell-O pudding. No wait, it's like the Kodak film. No wait! It's like the New Coke!

 
GurneyHalleck [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 02:11:58 PM  
Very well done article, and well said, but I totally disagree with his estimation of Ozzy's right to 1/4 share. Iommi was touring under the name Black Sabbath for years after Ozzy went off and found other talented musicians to hang his name over. And besides:

From Joe Siegler at Black-Sabbath.com (a very reputable source).

"Ozzy is suing Tony Iommi over ownership of the name Black Sabbath...I was following the band back in 1985 when Tony bought the rights from the remaining originals, and he has owned it since then. For Ozzy (or more probably Sharon) to make this kind of move probably kills Ozzy era Black Sabbath from working together in the future forever, I would think."

Sharon sucks so much that there are no proper words to describe how much she sucks.

 
GurneyHalleck [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 02:14:35 PM  
Oh, and I would have rather seen Ozzy OD than to watch his health and integrity die a slow death each year because that succubus Sharon won't stop leeching his life force.

 
Sumatra [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 02:45:44 PM  
He sounds pretty good with Black Label Society.

 
yogaFLAME [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 02:52:42 PM  
Is there anything more painful in this world to watch than his World of Warcraft commercial?

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 02:55:11 PM  
GurneyHalleck:

Sharon sucks so much that there are no proper words to describe how much she sucks.


I would like to test that theory, on my schlong.

 
thegauntlet 2009-06-03 02:58:04 PM  
yogaFLAME: Is there anything more painful in this world to watch than his World of Warcraft commercial?

I think the 'I Can't Believe Its Not Butter' spot is painful. WOW, somewhat fits his demographic of metal fans. The Samsung, yeah, a lot of 16-30 year olds use cell phones. But a butter commercials? I just hate the running theme of all commercials, Ozzy is a babbling fool. Sharon goes on TV saying it isn't true, yet every commercial he does, thats what the script calls for.

 
schpanky 2009-06-03 02:58:16 PM  
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Sharon Osbourne must be stopped.

Yeah, she probably saved Ozzy from himself, but she turned him into a farking joke. A variety show? Seriously?!

 
cheshirecatsmileyface 2009-06-03 03:33:19 PM  
Why does everyone blame Sharon? Ozzy made his own decisions.

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-03 03:52:24 PM  
GurneyHalleck: Very well done article, and well said, but I totally disagree with his estimation of Ozzy's right to 1/4 share. Iommi was touring under the name Black Sabbath for years after Ozzy went off and found other talented musicians to hang his name over.

Ozz was kicked out of the band! He had no other choice!

/not saying that they weren't right for kickin' his effed up butt out, but he had to make a brand new name for himself.

Bad_ad85: Well y'see, It's like Jell-O pudding. No wait, it's like the Kodak film. No wait! It's like the New Coke!

"So it'll be around forever, heh heh heh!"

/what's the difference between me and you?!

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 03:53:22 PM  
I wasn't aware Ozzy had any integrity to lose.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-03 05:50:08 PM  
It could've been worse, gang...

i11.tinypic.com

images.askmen.com

realmusicpeople.com

/ducks and runs

 
tedbundee 2009-06-03 05:55:18 PM  
missmez: As oppposed to his inevitable overdose death he would have suffered without her?

He would have died with dignity like every other rock star, not a pussy-whipped sell out.

 
FormlessOne 2009-06-03 06:14:11 PM  
missmez: As oppposed to his inevitable overdose death he would have suffered without her?

Would've been a bit more noble than the hen-pecked downward spiral he's instead suffering. Apparently, his kids are happy to use him as a stepping stool to reach their 15 minutes of fame, and his wife's willing to facilitate that.

 
mfaby 2009-06-03 06:24:47 PM  
DNRTA but had a conversation about this last week.

'From Satan worshipper to cell phone shill in just 30 short years'

And from what I've read about Sharon, she is a biatch on wheels; may be this is exactly what Ozzie needed...

 
Enrico Pallazzo 2009-06-03 06:25:50 PM  

 
Architecture Of Aggression 2009-06-03 06:28:37 PM  
mfaby: DNRTA but had a conversation about this last week.

'From Satan worshipper to cell phone shill in just 30 short years'

And from what I've read about Sharon, she is a biatch on wheels; may be this is exactly what Ozzie needed...


sounds like the conversation you were having is full of fail. Ozzy is full of fail too but he was never full of Satan. fact check!

 
minkyboodle 2009-06-03 06:55:06 PM  
First William Shatner.
Now Ozzy.

Many celebs should join in the fun and toss out their egos.

 
deevo 2009-06-03 06:59:01 PM  
cheshirecatsmileyface: Why does everyone blame Sharon? Ozzy made his own decisions.

Yep, same as John Lennon. "Oh no, he's not actually a gullible attention-whoring fool who has for all his career believed whatever anyone told him, yet none of this now is him! He was infallible! STUPID BIATCH RUINED HIM! WOMENNNNN FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

 
devilskware 2009-06-03 07:04:33 PM  
Enrico Pallazzo: BWWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA (new window)

Okay, you linked me to the same article the headline linked to. Thanks, but that's kinda what started this whole conversation.

 
Wasilla Hillbilly 2009-06-03 07:07:53 PM  
You people can say what you will, but Ozzy is and will forever remain my Dark Master.

 
thegauntlet 2009-06-03 07:23:09 PM  
deevo: cheshirecatsmileyface: Why does everyone blame Sharon? Ozzy made his own decisions.

Yep, same as John Lennon. "Oh no, he's not actually a gullible attention-whoring fool who has for all his career believed whatever anyone told him, yet none of this now is him! He was infallible! STUPID BIATCH RUINED HIM! WOMENNNNN FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"


Ozzy does not make his business decisions. He has said it many times before. If up to him, 1 album a decade and 4 days between tour dates so he can rest. Sharon has him busy as hell which causes him to be all drugged up so he can cope.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 07:42:47 PM  
Sharon saved Ozzy from himself, the problem is now she's turning Ozzy into an ATM doing really dumb stuff. If he just keeps singing, making the occasional album, all is good. But apparently that's not enough for Sharon.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2009-06-03 07:43:24 PM  
"Bubbles Sharon? Farking bubbles? I'm the prince of farking darfness".

 
hbk72777 2009-06-03 07:44:02 PM  
tedbundee: missmez: As oppposed to his inevitable overdose death he would have suffered without her?

He would have died with dignity like every other rock star, not a pussy-whipped sell out.



You mean with his brains all over a couch like Cobain? Or rotting for 2 weeks before he was discovered, like a fingerless/toeless from the drugs Layne Staley, Or in a bathtub in France?

/Silly Ozzy, living and making a farkton of money

 
NewHairGrowth 2009-06-03 08:14:04 PM  
Calling Ozzy a musician is like calling Puff Daddy a musician. They both make a noise that has a little something to do with some distant aspect of music but it's a real stretch.

If I was offered a free tickets and a limo ride to see Ozzy perform and there would be a leggy blonde in the limo to give me oral satisfaction on the way, I'd still say hell no. Wait, I'd say hell yes, get the blow job and then jump out at a red light before we got there.

He sucks, I guess is the gist of what I'm saying here.

 
Enrico Pallazzo 2009-06-03 09:13:06 PM  
devilskware: Enrico Pallazzo: BWWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA (new window)

Okay, you linked me to the same article the headline linked to. Thanks, but that's kinda what started this whole conversation.


Correction. I linked you to a specific location in the article, to show what I found entertaining.

 
SPna15 2009-06-03 09:34:39 PM  
Wasn't this article supposed to be about Ozzy? So what the hell is Dio doing there?

/That suprised me.

 
DanZero 2009-06-03 10:57:09 PM  

 
mfaby 2009-06-03 11:04:48 PM  
Architecture Of Aggression 2009-06-03 06:28:37 PM
mfaby: DNRTA but had a conversation about this last week.

'From Satan worshipper to cell phone shill in just 30 short years'

And from what I've read about Sharon, she is a biatch on wheels; may be this is exactly what Ozzie needed...

sounds like the conversation you were having is full of fail. Ozzy is full of fail too but he was never full of Satan. fact check!


Don't be a schmuck. It was an image he used.

Doubt me? Go back and listen to his first few albums.

Geeze, is there nothing someone in here won't biatch about?
And yeah, I include myself in the comment...

 
FeedTheCollapse 2009-06-03 11:59:39 PM  
hbk72777: Or rotting for 2 weeks before he was discovered, like a fingerless/toeless from the drugs Layne Staley

I don't recall hearing this tidbit. I recall a rumor saying he had gangrene in his fingers, but nothing actually substantiated.

 
84Charlie 2009-06-04 12:06:14 AM  
willywanka-
Ozzy with Sharon holding him by the short and curlies and marketing him like some absurd cross between a slobbering vampire bat plush doll and a grandpa munster, is not Ozzy.

 
thegauntlet 2009-06-04 12:11:55 AM  
FeedTheCollapse: hbk72777: Or rotting for 2 weeks before he was discovered, like a fingerless/toeless from the drugs Layne Staley

I don't recall hearing this tidbit. I recall a rumor saying he had gangrene in his fingers, but nothing actually substantiated.


Layne Staley was decomposed, but he did have his fingers and toes. He was missing all but a few teeth from his heroin abuse, and that is confirmed in the coroner's report.

 
mandingueiro 2009-06-04 12:42:06 AM  
I lost all respect for Sharon when she f*cked over the Iron Maiden set at Ozzfest in San Berdoo. The fans kept Maiden going however and made the experience more enjoyable. Sharon is 'ghetto'. Seriously.

 
Sergeant Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gang Bang 2009-06-04 12:45:55 AM  
img1.fark.net tag tried to tell us this already, but we couldn't understand a farking word it said.

 
Whatthefark 2009-06-04 03:03:28 AM  
Ozzy's music has been a huge part of my life. The man gets nothing but respect from me. However, Sharon needs to die, seriously. She has turned one of the greatest metal frontmen of all time into a laughing stock. Meanwhile, she's laughing all the way to the bank. Farkin whore.

 
FiendishFellow05 2009-06-04 05:08:09 AM  
Whatthefark: Ozzy's music has been a huge part of my life. The man gets nothing but respect from me. However, Sharon needs to die, seriously. She has turned one of the greatest metal frontmen of all time into a laughing stock. Meanwhile, she's laughing all the way to the bank. Farkin whore.

A-right, man. For futher proof see the album Blizzard Of Ozz, as butchered by Sharon.

Rob Trujillo and Mike Bordin ought to be ASHAMED of themselves for participating in that mutilation.

 
mansonozz 2009-06-04 07:45:42 AM  
Fark that, Ozzy rules. Always has, always will.

 
Marisyana 2009-06-04 08:51:39 AM  
Sharon managed Smashing Pumpkins? That explains a lot.

I think at the beginning Sharon WAS very good for Ozzy. Say what you will about her but she's not stupid and she surrounded Ozzy with good musicians and songwriters and he did well. Ozzfest at first was awesome. But then there was The Osbournes, which in addition to making Ozzy look like an idiot really boosted Sharon's profile. You never really saw too much of her back in the day--she was a fat, plain-looking blonde--but suddenly she was skinny and dressing in designer clothes. She realized that she was being recognized in her own right and THAT'S when everything went to hell.

I can still remember seeing Ozzy's Pepsi commercial during the Super Bowl and my husband (grew up in Sabbath's prime) saying "I think I'm having an acid flashback because I'm watching Ozzy farking Osbourne selling Pepsi."

 
GibbyTheMole 2009-06-04 09:43:02 AM  
"We can't forget the TV commercials Ozzy has done over the years. Ozzy has hawked everything from Pepsi Twist and Samsung phones to World of Warcraft and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Every commercial has the same running theme; Ozzy is a moron and only here for our amusement."

Well... He IS, isn't he?

I like the very early Sabbath and all, but still... Ozzy's not exactly Mensa material.

 
Madbassist1 [TotalFark] 2009-06-04 11:13:38 AM  
I submitted this with a different headline because I couldn't get past this:

"together for an MTV Christmas special while Sharon was giving interviews about her pre-marital affair with Ozzy Osbourne guitarist, Randy Rhoads.


Wait Whaaaaa???

Can someone fill me in here?

 
zappaisfrank [TotalFark] 2009-06-04 11:33:26 AM  
Madbassist1: I submitted this with a different headline because I couldn't get past this:

"together for an MTV Christmas special while Sharon was giving interviews about her pre-marital affair with Ozzy Osbourne guitarist, Randy Rhoads.


Wait Whaaaaa???

Can someone fill me in here?


Link (new window) (maybe NSFW language?)

 
Madbassist1 [TotalFark] 2009-06-04 11:38:15 AM  
zappaisfrank: Madbassist1: I submitted this with a different headline because I couldn't get past this:

"together for an MTV Christmas special while Sharon was giving interviews about her pre-marital affair with Ozzy Osbourne guitarist, Randy Rhoads.


Wait Whaaaaa???

Can someone fill me in here?

Link (new window) (maybe NSFW language?)


Thanks...wow...

 
thegauntlet 2009-06-04 12:21:29 PM  
Madbassist1: I couldn't get past this:

"together for an MTV Christmas special while Sharon was giving interviews about her pre-marital affair with Ozzy Osbourne guitarist, Randy Rhoads.

Wait Whaaaaa???
Can someone fill me in here?


Sharon Osbourne put in her book that while her and Ozzy were engaged to be wed, she farked Randy Rhoads and he was amazing.

 
Dee Snarl 2009-06-04 02:47:38 PM  
Sharon Osbourne is the ultimate enemy of heavy metal, rock and roll, and by extension, all of mankind.

 
redstarr01 2009-06-04 03:38:38 PM  
I don't think Ozzy's being taken advantage of too much. Maybe his schedule could be a bit less intense, but it may be one of those things that keeping busy doing something he enjoys even if it wears him out may be best option. A lot of musicians and a lot of people that struggle with substance abuse don't deal well with having too much free time. Keeping him touring and recording and selling stuff might be Sharon's way of keeping him as healthy and sane as she can.

As for the image factor, I think he's in on the joke. Being able to laugh at yourself is a good thing. With Black Sabbath and in the earlier part of his solo career, he was willing to play a dark wild metal character. Now he's just moved on to a different character. I'm think that while part of the silly incoherent old rocker character is real and a result of his decades of living hard-living hard-partying lifestyle, a lot of it is a character he's intentionally playing up these days.

There was a big lull for years between the Black Sabbath days and the eighties and early 90's solo days, when the mainstream didn't see much of Ozzy at all. You didn't see Ozzy being asked to plug things or appear on t.v. or anything. Outside of the die-hard metal audience, Ozzy wasn't a household name. Then the Osbournes reality show put him back in the public eye. It was obvious that even though the old metal legend Ozzy image was not so fresh anymore, the public was eating up the new image of Ozzy as a respected but totally laughable prince of darkness. Going along with the new image revived Ozzy's mainstream career. Even over the course of the reality show itself, you can tell that the new persona became more and more played up as the seasons progressed.

Even before the reality show, the seed of the babbling shakey Ozzy character was already planted. In Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years, he went along with staging the scene in the kitchen where he's pouring orange juice and missing the glass and such. It was filmed (like the reality show and the commercials are) as if he was just that way in regular life, but he and the film-maker (Penelope Spheeris) have both admitted to staging that scene. The Decline movie was way before the reality show was putting Sharon in the spotlight and when Ozzy was much younger and more physically vibrant. It makes me think that he's not a drug-weary old fool that's being used by his wife as much as a drug-weary smart business man who knows how to keep the gravy-train rolling and how to laugh at himself. If you can't hide being a bit worse for the wear, so people are going to laugh at you a little bit anyway, instead of letting them do it behind your back for free,you might as well get in on the joke and laugh with them while you make some money off it.

He knows that you can take the music seriously without having to take yourself seriously all the time. His new albums are still great. He still puts on a great live show. He doesn't have to compromise that and still gets to make the money and maintain the fame by playing the new character in addition to the old one. I think it's brilliant.

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-06-04 04:01:24 PM  
zappaisfrank: Link (new window) (maybe NSFW language?)

Thanks for the link, but that read worse than AnonDIT!

 
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