I lasted 57 seconds. I challenge any of you to beat that.

jebusfreak: I lasted 57 seconds. I challenge any of you to beat that.

You're a god. I puked in my mouth after 0:43.

jebusfreak: I lasted 57 seconds. I challenge any of you to beat that.

You missed the Bill Walton clone rhyming Megyn Kelly with Nancy Pelosi.


Oh and:

Superman not socialism
Waterboards, not terrorism.

At the end they equate Jesus, Reagan and Atlas Shrugged. In other words, it's right wing buzzwords set to a beat.

If I were sober I would transcribe the whole song and ask everyone to mentally sing it to the creepy ass Comcast commercials.

Five!

Five minute!

Five minute waterboardings!

/is it worse than that?

I made it through the whole thing. Their flow sucks, and the lyrics are completely forced. mc chris they're not.

They're going to get shot the instant they step out of Scottsdale, or wherever white-bread, douchebag suburb it is they're from.

lajimi, I don't know your politics, but most people who say stuff like that support the war in Afghanistan as the "good" war or "required" war, but I don't see flocks of progressives signing up to take part in President Obama's surge there. Are they chickenhawks as well, or do I misunderstand the situation?

This is the "torture" end of the Party of Rape and Torture.

I don't even want to know..

Word to your mother.

Sorry after 30 seconds i just can't do it
/This has to be a joke

I only made 37 seconds. That was awful.

kinshane: lajimi, I don't know your politics, but most people who say stuff like that support the war in Afghanistan as the "good" war or "required" war, but I don't see flocks of progressives signing up to take part in President Obama's surge there. Are they chickenhawks as well, or do I misunderstand the situation?

Yes, you do misunderstand the situation. There are plenty of volunteers for the Afghanistan war. It was the Iraq war that was completely a matter of choice for this country, and which ended up stressing our military enough that more people were needed.

Mostly, it's that Iraq was a matter of choice, and the people who led the way cheerleading for it and promising kittens and rainbows should have been the first to die for it.

CitizenTed: jebusfreak: I lasted 57 seconds. I challenge any of you to beat that.

You're a god. I puked in my mouth after 0:43.

somewhere around 0:40 my teeth start to really hurt back in the molars.

House of Tards: At the end they equate Jesus, Reagan and Atlas Shrugged. In other words, it's right wing buzzwords set to a beat.

I thought you were paraphrasing. I thought that they might do it in a roundabout way. But no. The exact phrase is, "Three things taught me conservative love: Jesus, Ronald Reagan, plus Atlas Shrugged."

The Onion couldn't do it this well.

CitizenTed: jebusfreak: I lasted 57 seconds. I challenge any of you to beat that.

You're a god. I puked in my mouth after 0:43.

At the point where they don't think the government should be setting standards for road construction? Interesting you crapped out there. But it does get stupider.

Rapping for Jesus Christ. Crediting their ideology to JC of course, Ronald Reagan and Atlas Shrugged. Yeah, this is why we need global warming. It'll be a powerful selection event. They're not going to make it.

House of Tards: You missed the Bill Walton clone rhyming Megyn Kelly with Nancy Pelosi.

I don't know if that can be described as rhyming. It's rhyming in about the same sense as an epilleptic seizure is dancing.

22 seconds.

Oh. My. God. Becky. Look at those buttholes.

I was completely unprepared and probably a little too drunk for what I just sat through. And I'll admit, I sat through the whole thing.

I'm just saying, Stevie Ray Vaughn goes down in a helicopter, but these a-holes can't have a "tragic" hunting accident that also somehow involves Ann Coulter?

No god I would believe in would allow a world like that to exist.

Lyrics:
Serious C:

"Yo this ones for all the young conservatives.
I rep the Northeast and I'm still a young con,
Let your voice release, you don't have to be obamatrons.
I debate any poser who don't shoot straight,
Government spending needs to deflate,
Your ideas are lightweight,
Ya careers in checkmate
I frustrate. I increase the pulse rate
I hate when,
government dictatin, makin, statements, bout how to be a merchant,
How to run a restaurant, how to lay the pavement
Bailout a business, but can't protect an infant
Deficiencies are blatant, young con treatment
I stand one man, outnumbered at my college
Thank you Miss Cali for reminding us of marriage
Can't support abortion, and call yourself a Christian
I support life, you're a puzzled politician
Terrorists were imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay,
Now they're in our neighborhoods, planning out doomsday
No such thing as utopia,
no government can control ya, baby ya,
Reap the benefits hard work, self reliant
Listen to Stiltz, my dude's a lyrical giant
Yo Stiltz... make it two time... please"

Stiltz:
"I'm 6'9 head and shoulder above the rest
Liberals playin checkers, I'm playin chess
My conservative view is drill baby drill
You can say you hate me but
I'm praying for you still
My dislike for thee most def is not hyperbole
Taxes are the subject and I will spit them verbally
I'm just livin life a conservative philosophy
Sorry Hilary not a right wing conspiracy
We need more women with intellectual integrity
I'm talkin Megyn Kelly not Nancy Pelosi
My main motto is you best work hard
It's not the hand you were given, but how you lay down your cards
I don't speak lies but I spit the facts
28% the new capital gains tax
Porkulus bill lacks a few stats
The more money we spend, the more mine is worth Jack
The Bible says we're a people under God,
Usin radar for radical Jihad
AIG was hooked up by Chris Dodd
A classy gift ain't an Ipod
The standards of my crew ain't republicans dude
I'm reppin Jesus Christ and conservative views
Study history and true conservative moves
Every single time they refuse to lose
I'm starting to see a modern day Jimmy Carter
When really nothin but a Reagan era starter"

Serious C:
"Yo, We americans son
Hit ya with some knowledge
The movement has begun
Everyone can succeed
Because our soldiers bleed, for us
I said it in the verse,
now I'll say it in the chorus"

Stiltz:
"We young conservatives son
Hard work is our motto
The movement has begun
EVERYONE can succeed cause our soldiers bleed, daily
My views are rock solid, no chance you can break me"

Serious C:
"Phase me, make me, into something that ain't me
Serious c... can't nobody shake me
great like the Gatsby, poppin posers like acne
Don't matter if your gay, straight, Christian or Muslim
There's one thing we all hate, called socialism.
It's loathsome, and America ain't the outcome,
Raise taxes on the people,
And you're gonna feel symptoms, problems
I gotta message for a young con:

superman that socialism,
waterboard that terrorism"

Stiltz:
"I fulfill the role that's inherently mine
Teaching politics through my rap and my rhyme
I'm signing off this track with a question in mind
How will this country get its precious change in time?
Three things taught me conservative love:
Jesus, Ronald Reagan, plus Atlas Shrugged
Saving our nation from inflation devastation
On my hands and my knees praying for salvation"

Serious C:
"Yo, We americans son
Hit ya with some knowledge
The movement has begun
Everyone can succeed
Because our soldiers bleed, for us
I said it in the verse,
now I'll say it in the chorus"

Stiltz:
"We young conservatives son
Hard work is our motto
The movement has begun
EVERYONE can succeed cause our soldiers bleed, daily
My views are rock solid, no chance you can break me"

Reading it is definately easier that listening to it.

Tickle Mittens: Reading it is definately easier that listening to it.

Listening must be Hell on Earth. Yeesh!

Tickle Mittens: *rhyming WHARRGARBL set to a beat*

Holy Christ, I can't even READ that. I got through 4 lines and it's like the whole page started to blur together as my brain rapidly rejected processing the data I was forcing it to decode. It's like I'm in a Lovecraft novel and I looked at some non-Euclidean geometry. Fark me.

Bigger Leftist Intarweb Schlong: Holy Christ, I can't even READ that. I got through 4 lines and it's like the whole page started to blur together as my brain rapidly rejected processing the data I was forcing it to decode. It's like I'm in a Lovecraft novel and I looked at some non-Euclidean geometry. Fark me.

Oh god, I just had a horrible thought. You know how nobody has seen Rush Limbaugh and Cthulhu in the same room? ...

Sum Dum Gai: Bigger Leftist Intarweb Schlong: Holy Christ, I can't even READ that. I got through 4 lines and it's like the whole page started to blur together as my brain rapidly rejected processing the data I was forcing it to decode. It's like I'm in a Lovecraft novel and I looked at some non-Euclidean geometry. Fark me.

Oh god, I just had a horrible thought. You know how nobody has seen Rush Limbaugh and Cthulhu in the same room? ...

"...yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature.... A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque scaly body"

...Oh shiiiii-----


".....the secret priests would take great Cthulhu Reagan from his tomb to revive His subjects and resume his rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Party; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old White Guys would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom..."

IA IA GOP F'TAGHN! THE STARS ARE RIGHT! IN HIS HOUSE AT R'LYEH DEAD ZOMBIE REAGAN WAITS DREAMING!

"Can't support abortion, and call yourself a Christian"

Does this mean that at least 60% of Americans aren't Christians? That's an interesting way to see it, I guess.

I get so seriously stumped every time a conservative speaks that I feel like I'm listening in to the internal-monologue of a cat.

This makes me want to roll up a newspaper and hit these two assholes with it.

That

Was

Farkin'

High-larious

/neocons in my sense of humor
//was unlikely, but there it is in it

Terrorists were imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay,
Now they're in our neighborhoods, planning out doomsday





28% capital gains? Somehow I don't think they have to worry about that.

interesting that there's no shout out to Sarah Palin.

The Why Not Guy: interesting that there's no shout out to Sarah Palin.

drill baby drill. it's in there.

Tickle Mittens: The Why Not Guy: interesting that there's no shout out to Sarah Palin.

drill baby drill. it's in there.

I thought that was a Michael Steele thing. At least, phrased that way.

He uses "baby" a lot.

This is more like "Young neocons rap about their principles and manufactured outrage.

/Then again, it's hard not to hear this like satire.

I guess i was expecting her to get a picture like Miss Cali got, because even to Conservatives all she really offers is "sticking it to the Libs" and "being hot".

I think the underwhelming presence of irrational hate for Sodomites in the song qualifies them for a fail as both conservatives and rappers.

*rolls eyes*

Yeah...

So this is how they're going to gather the younger voters? This is their plan to capture the attention of the new generation?

I'm a college-age white boy, so I'm really getting a kick out of watching the GOP self-destruct.

And they say Michael Steele isn't an effective leader. He's clearly influenced these Republicans.

While I really would prefer to think of that as satire (I watched the whole thing), I've heard far worse flows and rhymes. You can separate the message from the medium. Wouldn't call it, "good" though.

/liked Amy Poehler's rap when Palin was on SNL better
//if that was legit, these guys takes themselves way too seriously, though I guess that's par for the course given they're conservatives

regretlesspanda: these guys takes themselves way too seriously, though I guess that's par for the course given they're conservatives



Right.... it is not like liberals NEVER, EVER take themselves too seriously, especially on FARK.

Jeebus, did you actually write that?

lajimi: Don't worry boys there is still plenty of room for you in the endless war your little tin god started.

Nah, they're too busy going to college on Daddy's money - just like they were back in 'Nam. I remember them well, excoriating the ant-war movement as traitors, and cheerleading the war, while they hid behind bought academic deferments.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Sorry buckos, the WHARRGARBL ain't any more appealing set to a beat with rhymes as bad as this guy. (new window)

'Cuz we're white boys!
...and we take no crap!
When we deliver our White Boy Rap.

...so this is how the GOP intends to deliver their message to urban/suburban hip-hop settings?

Phil Herup: regretlesspanda: these guys takes themselves way too seriously, though I guess that's par for the course given they're conservatives



Right.... it is not like liberals NEVER, EVER take themselves too seriously, especially on FARK.

Jeebus, did you actually write that?

C'mon, Phil. You and me both know that "No, YOU'RE a towel!" is neither an argument or a defence. You are wasting time you could be spending making better points in better posts.
I find it disappointing coming from you, as you are one of the conservative voices around here who is actually capable of mounting an intelligent argument when you try.
These "raps" are just farking ridiculous, and laughable - and would be to any objective person of ANY political persuasion - give yourself a break, relax, and have a good laugh at these asshat's expense. Doing so would not infect you with "liberalism".

Keep it up, GOP. Please! Pretty please.

This is exactly the approach you guys have been looking for.

You will win 10,000 elections with your hip-hop skillz!

That fly was so dope.