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(Breitbart.com) Weird California figures out a great way to close its budget gap: Let tourists beat up seagulls for $275 each   (breitbart.com) divider line 88
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88 Comments   (+0 »)


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klymen [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 04:17:09 PM  
I believe melee combat with animals should be legal. As long as there are no weapons, if a seagull gets punched or a racoon gets kicked it's all part of nature doing its thing.

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 04:34:41 PM  
Sell seagull licenses. Have seagull firing ranges. Very few people like Seagulls.

/Bounced almost a half dozen off the hood/windshield of my work car this year alone. EXTREMELY stupid birds.

 
TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 04:42:05 PM  
Better yet, let the residents beat up tourists for $275 each.

That budget gap would be closed within the hour.

 
TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 04:49:21 PM  
Crosshair:

"Sell seagull pedestrian licenses. Have seagull pedestrian firing ranges. Very few people like Seagulls pedestrians.

/Bounced almost a half dozen off the hood/windshield of my work car this year alone. EXTREMELY stupid birds."

Fixed that for ya.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 05:12:26 PM  
Must have been a K-State fan.

 
Impudent Domain 2009-05-24 06:51:01 PM  
hell they should have paid him.

/flying rats

 
bones870 2009-05-24 06:55:12 PM  
Impudent Domain: hell they should have paid him.

/flying rats


Beat me to it!

/Rats with wings?

 
Walker [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 06:55:39 PM  
img.photobucket.com

 
EricHill78 2009-05-24 06:57:13 PM  
I want to buy that guy a beer. His wife prob gave him some crazy love that night.

/ice cream gives seagulls the runs he did everyone a favor

 
WFern 2009-05-24 07:01:31 PM  
I was initially sympathetic (swinging at a bird that's biting at you), until I read this:

Fish and Wildlife officials say witnesses told authorities the ice cream fell on its own and Djuric struck birds that descended to eat it.

That, coupled with the broken wing, makes me think the redneck is guilty.

 
FlyingJ 2009-05-24 07:04:26 PM  
Ironically subby, I paid money in California to watch Gulls beat guys with Eastern European names up...
www.hockeydb.com

 
wademh 2009-05-24 07:05:39 PM  
I just bought my tickets. I'll take two.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:06:41 PM  
TommyymmoT: Better yet, let the residents beat up tourists for $275 each.

That budget gap would be closed within the hour.


Yay!

How much more do we have to pay to kill them outright?

 
yagottabefarkinkiddinme 2009-05-24 07:08:20 PM  
www.benjamieson.com

I love seagulls, think they are beautiful.

www.floridabeachphotography.com

How anyone can find pleasure in hurting them is disturbing.

 
Rozinante 2009-05-24 07:10:38 PM  
yagottabefarkinkiddinme: I love seagulls, think they are beautiful.



How anyone can find pleasure in hurting them is disturbing.


You do not live near a large body of water.

 
berylman 2009-05-24 07:11:02 PM  
Jeez, it's not like he was clubbing a rare migratory bird to death for shiats and giggles. Seagulls are basically parasites and are far too numerous to deserve any protection.

 
Impasse 2009-05-24 07:12:11 PM  
Are any of the seagulls lesbian?

 
MissDementia 2009-05-24 07:12:36 PM  
TommyymmoT: Better yet, let the residents beat up tourists for $275 each.

That budget gap would be closed within the hour.


Gyrfalcon

Yay!

How much more do we have to pay to kill them outright?


Count me in. I took a technical writing course. I can draft that legislation pretty quickly if someone finds me a lawyer to help with the legal-ly type big words. I've also been stockpiling ammo for years in preparation for the coming zombie infestation.

/tourists = zombies, right?

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:13:13 PM  
Ok, so gulls may be basically nuisance birds in the area they reside, but come on, it's just not manly to beat one unless they're at least packin'.

 
berylman 2009-05-24 07:13:22 PM  
yagottabefarkinkiddinme: I love seagulls, think they are beautiful. How anyone can find pleasure in hurting them is disturbing.

Yagottabekiddingme. 7.5/10 The guy wasn't hunting the bird anyways but probably swatted it away when it dove at his wife and her food.

 
bignobody 2009-05-24 07:13:32 PM  
WFern:I was initially sympathetic (swinging at a bird that's biting at you), until I read this:

Fish and Wildlife officials say witnesses told authorities the ice cream fell on its own and Djuric struck birds that descended to eat it.

That, coupled with the broken wing, makes me think the redneck is guilty.


Agreed. What was this for other than revenge? Was he planning to scoop the ice cream off the beach and give it back to his wife?

//it's Rocky Road now, surgar plum

 
plurby 2009-05-24 07:15:09 PM  
Meh, if you don't put them in their place sometime, they'll just keep doing the same old shiat. Trick is you gotta let one live to tell the story to the rest.

/flung my shoe at one when I was 13
//bullseye
///now they don't bother me
////I live by Lake Superior.

 
berylman 2009-05-24 07:15:41 PM  
bignobody: Fish and Wildlife officials say witnesses told authorities the ice cream fell on its own and Djuric struck birds that descended to eat it.

Missed that :/. Ya, it does sound like needless cruelty.

 
Terryg999 2009-05-24 07:16:26 PM  
Impudent Domain: hell they should have paid him.

/flying rats


Talking Monkey!

 
yagottabefarkinkiddinme 2009-05-24 07:17:05 PM  
I do live near a large body of water. I work in Louisiana very near Lake Pontchartrain and I live very near Choctawhatchee Bay and live 13 miles due north of the Gulf of Mexico. I really do love these birds.

winniecooper.net

 
hasty ambush 2009-05-24 07:17:56 PM  
TommyymmoT: Crosshair:

"Sell seagull pedestrianBicyclist licenses. Have seagull pedestrianBicyclist firing ranges. Very few people like Seagulls pedestriansBicyclist.

/Bounced almost a half dozen off the hood/windshield of my work car this year alone. EXTREMELY stupid birdspeople."

Fixed that for ya.


FTFY

 
ryant123 2009-05-24 07:18:13 PM  
Normally I am against hurting animals, but I'm finding it hard to care about a giant flying sea rat. But I guess that's why I don't make animal cruelty laws.

 
spookybee 2009-05-24 07:18:23 PM  
forthelose.org

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-05-24 07:22:10 PM  
FARK YOU, RICHARD BACH

 
Inge420 2009-05-24 07:22:42 PM  
berylman: bignobody: Fish and Wildlife officials say witnesses told authorities the ice cream fell on its own and Djuric struck birds that descended to eat it.

Missed that :/. Ya, it does sound like needless cruelty.


If it is true, sure it is. But then again, how many times have police reports been found to be grossly exaggerated to further their cause (pulling in revenue)?

/Not defending people who abuse animals
//Defending people who are victims of overly zealous public officials

 
Egalitarian [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:23:32 PM  
Have you ever had a herring gull look at you as if it were sizing you up as a potential meal? They're like sharks of the air.

\wishes she could see a greater black backed gull
\\great white sharks of the air
\\\supposedly they swallow small birds in mid-air

 
nicksteel 2009-05-24 07:26:47 PM  
I have just the person to oversea this project.

www.birdwatchersdigest.com

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:28:05 PM  
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view

 
BalugaJoe 2009-05-24 07:28:41 PM  
This guy must be related to Dave Winfield?

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:31:01 PM  
yagottabefarkinkiddinme: I do live near a large body of water. I work in Louisiana very near Lake Pontchartrain and I live very near Choctawhatchee Bay and live 13 miles due north of the Gulf of Mexico. I really do love these birds.

I was fishing there once and was fishing under a flock of birds (they were getting the bait fish that were being chased up by the sport fish). One of the birds went for my bait, and the fishing line wrapped around its neck. So, you probably won't see that one flying around.

 
FlukeBoy [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:31:21 PM  
I love seagulls.
(most) People (and almost all tourists) suck.

 
BalugaJoe 2009-05-24 07:32:32 PM  
Was it Jonathan Livingston Seagull?

 
bignobody 2009-05-24 07:33:09 PM  
Inge420:
If it is true, sure it is. But then again, how many times have police reports been found to be grossly exaggerated to further their cause (pulling in revenue)?


The article is light on details, but does say witnesses (plural). I suspect said witnesses were the ones making the phone call to the authorities, rather than some seagull-beating sting operation.

// would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!

 
Fano 2009-05-24 07:33:18 PM  
TommyymmoT: Better yet, let the residents beat up tourists for $275 each.

That budget gap would be closed within the hour.


Your cunning plan, I don't think you've thought it through.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:34:29 PM  
In the very cool series "Life After People" they discussed which animals would survive people vanishing and which ones wouldn't. Turns out seagulls wouldn't do so well. Because they've become scavengers and vermin in coastal areas, eating garbage and fishing-industrial waste, they're really too numerous for their natural habitat. Take away all those nice landfills and offal dumps, and the seagull population would crash hard.

Giving me the great idea that if we could engineer a seagull-specific biotoxin and spray it on the landfills, we could solve the seagull problem in very short order.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:35:19 PM  
FlukeBoy: I love seagulls.
(most) People (and almost all tourists) suck.


I agree. Except for the seagull part. Then again, I don't live in a place that requires tourists to survive. Or it just sucks and no tourists want to visit. Either way, if you live in an area that draws tourists, suck it up and get over it you pussy. Some of us wish we had something worth seeing.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:35:55 PM  
Gyrfalcon: Giving me the great idea that if we could engineer a seagull-specific biotoxin and spray it on the landfills, we could solve the seagull problem in very short order.

Newsletter, etc.

 
GBB 2009-05-24 07:41:30 PM  
www.solarnavigator.net

/mine?!

 
OnlyM3 2009-05-24 07:43:47 PM  
yagottabefarkinkiddinme
I love seagulls, think they are beautiful.


Profile: Location: Walton County, Florida (Paradise)

Ladies and gentlemen, you now know why we have a Florida tag.

 
CasperImproved [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:58:33 PM  
TommyymmoT: Better yet, let the residents beat up tourists for $275 each.

That budget gap would be closed within the hour.


You must be kidding. Without tourists to scam, what would most of California do for a living?

 
CasperImproved [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 07:59:17 PM  
nicksteel: I have just the person to oversea this project.

We could call her the "birdinator".

 
CasperImproved [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 08:00:25 PM  
As long as you leave Johnathon (and his descendants) alone, I don't have issues here.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2009-05-24 08:04:02 PM  
klymen: I believe melee combat with animals should be legal. As long as there are no weapons, if a seagull gets punched or a racoon gets kicked it's all part of nature doing its thing.

My evolution includes a club.

 
Oznog 2009-05-24 08:06:47 PM  
blogs.smh.com.au

Not cool, man!

/should have ran

 
Me and You 2009-05-24 08:07:14 PM  
Why did the seagull not learn to fly again?

img32.imageshack.us

 
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