Pfft, this isn't a wrist watch made out of bacon.

And here I was hoping for an article on smoked, thick sliced bacon that can read a clock, move from the fridge to the stove and cook itself while I'm waking up and taking my morning shower.

/Version 2.0 would bring along a couple of eggs and also make sure I remembered to fill the coffee maker and set the timer the night before.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/24/pork-rearing

Fizpez: And here I was hoping for an article on smoked, thick sliced bacon that can read a clock, move from the fridge to the stove and cook itself while I'm waking up and taking my morning shower.

/Version 2.0 would bring along a couple of eggs and also make sure I remembered to fill the coffee maker and set the timer the night before.

If your super bacon can perform oral sex, I can get divorced and live the rest of my life in bliss.

The PETA freaks will love that article.

/ On a more optimistic note, it won't be long now that we will have genetically altered plants that grow long strips of tasty bacon. You can just plant them in pots and harvest the goodness.

//But some freaks will protest that I suppose.

New Handle: Spideypig Curly Bacon

What I expected:

FTFA:
When the Maasai of East Africa kill a cow, the herdsman first coaxes it to the ground and then lies beside the animal, stroking and calming it. He whispers in its ear to explain why it must die and asks its forgiveness. Then he smothers it.

Oh yeah you are going to bacon soon. Everything is going to be ok.

/MMMMMMMMMMMMM calm bacon

Boy, that spider-pig joke sure stuck with some people. No accounting for taste.

Wouldn't the bacon bra make a lot more sense if it was made of bacon that was already cooked? Not too crispy, of course, because it would still need to be pliable enough not to crumble off. Or maybe crispy is OK too. But either way, not uncooked.

gulogulo: New Handle: Spideypig Curly Bacon

How about: Bacon Whisperer?

The only way this could get lamer is if the pig sent you Twitter updates on its progress.

I boasted about my ownership of an interactive, educational pet-cum-recycling machine

Bloody hell.

They can recycle everything nowadays

This will be worthless to those who don't read the article but the part where they call the 3 year old "scary" seems a little dead on. I've been around farm animals and hunt so I don't have any hangups about them being steak, but it is a little creepy to have a 3 year old asking for a lamb that they could eat. Sounds like they may find a fork in the family dog sooner than later.

luckyeddie: I boasted about my ownership of an interactive, educational pet-cum-recycling machine

Bloody hell.

They can recycle everything nowadays

They make it into those little plastic disposable cups.

luckyeddie: I boasted about my ownership of an interactive, educational pet-cum-recycling machine

Bloody hell.

They can recycle everything nowadays

Yes they can - ewwwww

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA

(possible NSFW language)

Stompn_Tom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA (new window)

Now clickable

TJT: FTFA:
When the Maasai of East Africa kill a cow, the herdsman first coaxes it to the ground and then lies beside the animal, stroking and calming it. He whispers in its ear to explain why it must die and asks its forgiveness. Then he smothers it.

Oh yeah you are going to bacon soon. Everything is going to be ok.

/MMMMMMMMMMMMM calm bacon

Bacon from a cow? The Jews will be pleased.

berylman: The only way this could get lamer is if the pig sent you Twitter updates on its progress.

Spidey: Everyone is being so calm and nice to me today. Something special is happening :-)
Spidey: Now they are leading me into a small pen and lowering a device to my forehea

FTFA: Ever thought of rearing your own pork, but don't want to alarm the neighbours?

Why yes, yes I have.

Came looking for this picture, and was sorely disappointed.

/he's not spider pig anymore, he's harry plopper.

Stompn_Tom: Stompn_Tom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA (new window)

Now clickable

Chris-chan. The trainwreck on the internets that is impossible to look away from. Insane.

Stompn_Tom: Stompn_Tom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA (new window)

Now clickable

I have just discovered the ability to recycle my lunch

I never knew an article about bacon could sound so gay....

Firedust: This will be worthless to those who don't read the article but the part where they call the 3 year old "scary" seems a little dead on. I've been around farm animals and hunt so I don't have any hangups about them being steak, but it is a little creepy to have a 3 year old asking for a lamb that they could eat. Sounds like they may find a fork in the family dog sooner than later.

In a world where most people think animals have 'rights' when they, as adults, can't event define the word 'rights', this is actually quite refreshing.

This child will likely grow up with the balanced view that as long as there are actual humans in need of help and charity, joining a silly group like PETA is a complete perversion of priorities.

Hopefully, she won't actually put a fork in the dog, but she will understand that her life actually is more valuable than the dog's.

Smug foodies take the fun out of everything with their soul-sucking pretension.

I love you piggy...now you're gonna be my dinner!



Link (new window)

Old news. I have friends who do this every year. They give me the extra body fat to use in sausage making.

Im sorry, but the raw bacon bra is just farking disgusting. My tits don't need raw trichinosis infested meat on them, then you very much.


/Now, deepfry that sucker on a shaped form, you might have something there.

Unknown_Poltroon: Im sorry, but the raw bacon bra is just farking disgusting. My tits don't need raw trichinosis infested meat on them, then you very much.


/Now, deepfry that sucker on a shaped form, you might have something there.

No, then you very much.

gulogulo: Unknown_Poltroon: Im sorry, but the raw bacon bra is just farking disgusting. My tits don't need raw trichinosis infested meat on them, then you very much.


/Now, deepfry that sucker on a shaped form, you might have something there.

No, then you very much.

Me no talk good. Trichinosis ate my branze.

/Hot, unlike raw pork bras.

/hot
//oblig

FTA:
"Meanwhile my son was attempting to cleave open the pig's head with a machete, to get the brain out. I watched him, with a deep and ancient pride brimming in my heart."
WTF?

Badgers: And we, who had fed him and visited him, were going to enjoy every bit of him.

How the fark do they walk??

All us basement farkers should do this at least once.

/HURRAY FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THAT OUR MEAT COMES FROM DEATH
//spoiled, ungrateful generation

I'm sitting here eating something called The Baconzilla, from Checkers, so I'm getting a big kick out of this.

therhinodep Quote 2009-05-24 01:43:55 PM
I'm sitting here eating something called The Baconzilla, from Checkers, so I'm getting a big kick out of this.

I miss Checkers, I wish they had some in Houston

The parts about the three year old girl were just brilliant. Especially about the lamb.

Eat more lamb. 500,000 coyotes can't be wrong.

Bacon. It's what's for breakfast.

Oh I am so looking into this. Fresh pig sounds lovely for breakfast.

What about the prairie oysters? We got to find out what he did with the cheeks in detail. No soup to nuts menu? Probably had it castrated as a piglet to improve the taste.

/sizzlin' hat

My band mate regularly does this: Buys into a pig raised by a small farmer in much the same way as in this article, then receives an allotted amount of chops, roasts, bacon, ham, sausages. He told me that I'm welcome to join him. I'd do it, but my freezer is so small.

/these "foodies" are having much more fun with their food than most folks
//shut your trolling whore mouth, Huggermugger

Stompn_Tom: Stompn_Tom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k437pkDxriA (new window)

Now clickable

What the fark did I just watch?

I have seen God...and he cooks bacon.

Meisaims: All us basement farkers should do this at least once.

/HURRAY FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THAT OUR MEAT COMES FROM DEATH
//spoiled, ungrateful generation

Yep, this. I have a lot more respect for the food I raise/harvest myself. I don't think it's much of a coincidence that the farther we remove ourself from food production, the fatter we get. Convenience and processing is a good part of it, sure, but when you raise and/or harvest your own food, it's really hard to take it for granted and over indulge. It takes on a value other than money.

I thought this would be a story about Baconaise.

Badgers
You work at "Curves?"