Oh man, a greenlit fatty and virgin thread. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

There, you see, fatties? It IS possible for you to drop about half of your body weight over the course of a year. All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

/that should stoke the flames a bit
//would make popcorn, but that seems dangerous in a fatty thread

I don't see why you guys are so righteously braying away, he's had sex which puts him above 80% of the male TF crew.

mamoru: All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

You better hope the Farkettes don't see this or they'll sic their ten cats on you!

He's in navy now. Cool. They can use his excess skin as a sail if the engines give out.

What's his Fark handle

Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for now.

Yeah, it's easier to lose your virginity when you can find your dick...

eddyatwork: mamoru: All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

You better hope the Farkettes don't see this or they'll sic their ten cats on you!

Hey, I only have ONE cat, thank you very much!

And it looks like he's got some serious extra skin hiding under that tee-shirt. Honestly, I think that's one of the things that really keeps me from getting fat is knowing that even if I then lost the weight, I'd have pounds of extra flesh to deal with for the rest of eternity, unless I got surgery, leaving scars, etc...

Blech.

The dude finally gets balls deep after actually finding his willy...and then wants to join the navy?
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have call this one gay.

Daffydil: it's easier to lose your virginity when you can find your dick...

I not only found him but I found his cat!

dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for now.

You sound pure

mamoru: There, you see, fatties? It IS possible for you to drop about half of your body weight over the course of a year. All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

/that should stoke the flames a bit
//would make popcorn, but that seems dangerous in a fatty thread

but I have a genetic propensityyyyyyyyyyy


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Screw you, buddy. These Pop-Tarts are delicious, and I'm gonna eat a dozen of them just to spite you now. Then I'm gonnna scramble a carton of eggs, fry up a pound of bacon, then get naked and cover myself in the whole of it. For lunch, a salad.

Listerine: mamoru: There, you see, fatties? It IS possible for you to drop about half of your body weight over the course of a year. All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

/that should stoke the flames a bit
//would make popcorn, but that seems dangerous in a fatty thread

but I have a genetic propensityyyyyyyyyyy


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Usually when someone tells me that, I have them show me a picture of their great grandfparents.

Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Right. So I assume everyone here has stopped drinking and smoking?

Good man

[He] is looking forward to joining the Navy later this month.

Doing it wrong IMO.

Later this month Steve starts his nine-week Navy training in Plymouth before being posted as a chef on board ship.

Keeping-the-weight-off FAIL in 3, 2, 1...

Fat guys can so get laid. Just not me, apparently.

/I see the proof when I shop at Walmart

Accent: Listerine: mamoru: There, you see, fatties? It IS possible for you to drop about half of your body weight over the course of a year. All you have to do is stop being lazy fatties, put the fork down, and get to a gym.

/that should stoke the flames a bit
//would make popcorn, but that seems dangerous in a fatty thread

but I have a genetic propensityyyyyyyyyyy


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Usually when someone tells me that, I have them show me a picture of their great grandfparents.

that's perfect :)

Why more obese people don't follow the simple steps he took to cut his weight in half I don't understand and I probably never will.

I quit smoking a year ago. If I had known how easy it was going to be I would have done it years before.

I still drink from time to time, but not nearly as much as I used to.

Hitting the gym five days a week as well.

Now I just need a leather punch to make some new holes in my belt.

The only way for me to lose half my body weight would be to start cutting off limbs.

That would also greatly reduce my chances of getting laid.

dave2198: Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Right. So I assume everyone here has stopped drinking and smoking?

I drink and chew - but the difference between me and you is that I can still see my penis.

I said they should try to stay healthy.

dave2198: Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Right. So I assume everyone here has stopped drinking and smoking?

Burn the witch! Lies and sorcery, burn him!

"I'd always dreamt of joining the Navy and seeing the world but there was no way they'd take someone my size.

"I'd never had a girlfriend and was still a virgin."

It's a requirement to have had sex to join the British Navy? That's a little unusual.

likefunbutnot: Fat guys can so get laid. Just not me, apparently.

It's not that hard. You said you shop at Walmart so all you have to do is let some fatty waddle near you (I'd suggest the ice cream section for best results) and then tell her you've got a job. Hell, you'll probably have a stampede of fatties because you're the best catch for miles.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: "I'd always dreamt of joining the Navy and seeing the world but there was no way they'd take someone my size.

"I'd never had a girlfriend and was still a virgin."

It's a requirement to have had sex to join the British Navy? That's a little unusual.

I'm pretty sure they take care of it once you're in, one way or another.


/yeahh

He was drinking too many pints at the pub by age 19?

How young can you go to the bars over there?

utter_bastard:

Hitting the gym five days a week as well.

Enjoy the heart attack in your 50s

likefunbutnot: Fat guys can so get laid. Just not me, apparently.

/I see the proof when I shop at Walmart

Get a motorcycle. The sluts will arrive in droves.

Accent: dave2198: Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Right. So I assume everyone here has stopped drinking and smoking?

I drink and chew - but the difference between me and you is that I can still see my penis.

I said they should try to stay healthy.

It makes me smile that you think I'm fat just because I think you're a shallow person for judging people on their weight. It also makes me giggle to picture the kind of person who says other people need to "try to stay healthy" while he chews tobacco.

You chew? Who the f*ck chews anymore? There have to be quicker ways to get cancer in your mouth and throat. Could you not find any DDT to gargle with? People who chew are nastier than any fat person I have ever seen.

The article reminds me of the 'sex ramp' thread. Oh what a glorious thread that was.

JRoo: He was drinking too many pints at the pub by age 19?

How young can you go to the bars over there?

18 I believe.

This is pretty much how it works:

calories in > calories burned = weight gain & you shiat more

calories in
I see it as a win-win, personally.

seveword: r lunch, a salad.

Comedy gold, my friend, comedy gold. :)

dave2198: Accent: dave2198: Conform! All citizens must have 2% body fat and be total sluts. Hair dying and the use of tanning beds are optional... for nowshould try to stay healthy.

Right. So I assume everyone here has stopped drinking and smoking?

I have one vice left. It's the only thing that keeps me interesting!

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: JRoo: He was drinking too many pints at the pub by age 19?

How young can you go to the bars over there?

18 I believe.

Yep.

It's terrible we have to wait until our 19th to legally buy booze here.

It's not about conformity to an image or being some shallow prick. Overly fat people are disgusting and should feel bad about themselves. They are selfish and have no regard for their own health, how could they possibly care about anything? If you don't have your own health, you've got nothing. Someone as fat as the guy in the article goes far beyond slighting someone because they don't look a certain way. When you're that far, you tell everyone else you meet without saying a word that you just don't give a fark about anything. I don't want to hear about your thyroid problem.

Accent: fail
dave2198:
It makes me smile that you think I'm fat just because I think you're a shallow person for judging people on their weight. It also makes me giggle to picture the kind of person who says other people need to "try to stay healthy" while he chews tobacco.

You chew? Who the f*ck chews anymore? There have to be quicker ways to get cancer in your mouth and throat. Could you not find any DDT to gargle with? People who chew are nastier than any fat person I have ever seen.

That's the point, I'm not telling you what to do - I am making a suggestion and leaving the choice to you.

I'm not trying to hide my flaws - I chew because it honestly started one day when I was bored flagging traffic for the DOT... what else is there to do while standing on fresh asphalt 9 hours a day?

Well I am really off to the gym in 26 min. Lifting weights for an hour and running three miles.

FTFA: Steve has battled a life-long addiction to food.

As a fellow food addict, I can sympathize with this guy. I'm using 3, sometimes even 4 times a day.

/never heard of stones as measuring system

Nice elbow skin flabs. BLUUUUUUUURRRGGHHHH.

wait.. did google conversion. He weighed 420 lbs and now weighs 252 pounds? At 5'7" and based on that picture he must be hiding one hell of a fat ass to be at 252...

Tr0mBoNe: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: JRoo: He was drinking too many pints at the pub by age 19?

How young can you go to the bars over there?

18 I believe.

Yep.

It's terrible we have to wait until our 19th to legally buy booze here.

Heck, it's 21 in my state.

"We've been on a few dates since but it's a difficult situation as I'm about to join the Navy."

Got her up the duff?

Rozinante: The only way for me to lose half my body weight would be to start cutting off limbs.

That would also greatly reduce my chances of getting laid.

Actually, I think that would raise your chances with certain segments of the population, stumpy.