I stopped here:

'If you had to ride out this downturn, there is no better place than Texas. The declines here have been nothing compared to other states.'
since Texas lost most of it's jobs years ago when oil production took a shiat.

Just don't bring your damn housing bubble down here until I've had a chance to buy.

I can get more house for under $175,000 in San Antonio than most places can get for $300,000.

Don't bother if you're in the tech field. So many computer and technical companies have laid off people here that we still have degreed engineers and techs delivering pizzas.

Duh, howdy ya'll!" - typical Texan.

Gonz: Just don't bring your damn housing bubble down here until I've had a chance to buy.

I can get more house for under $175,000 in San Antonio than most places can get for $300,000.

Don't come to Dallas then.

Just sold my house for a profit. Was only in it 2 years too.

It's like another world here, mall is packed, people have jobs, houses sell. It's like Bush was never even President.

Come on, y'all, and welcome. A few helpful tips to ease your transition:

1. Barbecue here primarily consists of beef brisket. There are some decent places to get pork if you're from one of those places. Let me know if you need recs.

2. We don't all have guns, but most of us do. It's still America; so you can have whatever opinion on guns you want, but there's kind of a cultural bias toward being well armed around here, and you're not going to substantially change it. You may want to save your breath.

3. Learn to drive here. We drive bat-shiat insane fast in our larger cities and way out in the sticks, and we drive maddeningly slowly in smaller towns. Don't be self-righteous; just keep right. We can't drive hardly at all if the chance of rain goes above 30%, and God help us if the roads actually get wet. Plan to wait on wrecks. If there is ice, expect people to raid the grocery store the night before and for all the towns to completely shut down. Two things you MUST learn to do:

Wave thanks to people who let you into a line of traffic. Don't forget. Trust me.

Drive on the shoulder to let people pass on two-lane roads. Really. Not only is it legal, it's required.

4. We have a really complex relationship with Mexico. We may not be thrilled with illegal immigration, but very few of us are in favor of a fence or wall. Here again, if you have a strong opinion on the subject, you might want to keep it to yourself for your first few years here. Learn to eat Mexican food before you start talking crap about Mexicans.

5. Respect our traditions. There is no requirement that you follow high school football or even like it, but Texas is the center of the football universe, and you should try to hide your surprise when perfectly reasonable adults are rabid high school football fans.

Your office may have absenteeism on 9/1, 9/20, 10/25, and 11/1. If you show any interest in hunting or fishing, you'll probably get invited.

6. Do not sweat being a transplant. Texas was founded and shaped by people who were run out of other places. Every now and then, you meet someone here who thinks that there's some magic to being a native Texan. That's bullshiat. If you a) live in Texas and b) want to be a Texan, you're a Texan. You can even continue to claim it if you leave; it's not an exclusive club.

Gonz: Just don't bring your damn housing bubble down here until I've had a chance to buy.

I can get more house for under $175,000 in San Antonio than most places can get for $300,000.

Yep. Just sold my house in Arkansas for $87/sqft. The houses around here (NE Tarrant Co.) are mostly selling b/w $65-75/sqft.

filth: tolstoy that I won't clog the thread with

You have outlined why I will never live in Texas. Except you forgot to mention the heat. And Heat's occasional drinking buddy, Humidity.

/just messed with Texas
//proud Masshole

cretinbob: I stopped here:

'If you had to ride out this downturn, there is no better place than Texas. The declines here have been nothing compared to other states.'
since Texas lost most of it's jobs years ago when oil production took a shiat.

You don't know wtf you're talking about.

Saborlas: filth: tolstoy that I won't clog the thread with

Har!

You have outlined why I will never live in Texas. Except you forgot to mention the heat. And Heat's occasional drinking buddy, Humidity.

/just messed with Texas
//proud Masshole

7. Learn to live with heat and humidity. Even though the state is gigantic, there are only a few places where you can escape humidity, and essentially no place that doesn't get hot. No one ever slipped on heat while shoveling it out of his driveway. When it's 75 in February and you still have a tan, you'll get over it.

cretinbob: since Texas lost most of it's jobs years ago when oil production took a shiat.

Still living in 1983?

Texas took off in the 90's with telecom, energy, silicon chip production, all kinds of IT companies. Still going stronger than most states in all of these sectors, still has booming oil production out in the Permian Basin, and still has a vast amount of agricultural production.

The people in charge in Texas might be a little bit right of bat-shiat crazy from time to time, but the state is doing a hell of a lot better than most of the country. Especially California.

I have not had my passport stamped in the Republic of Texas yet. Maybe I will go but I hear it is the hole of feces. I will try to see it from two sides but am afraid I cannot do this.

Yeah Texas would be terrific with its none-existent labour laws and third world legal system.fark that shiat.

Gonz: Just don't bring your damn housing bubble down here until I've had a chance to buy.

I can get more house for under $175,000 in San Antonio than most places can get for $300,000.

But you're in San Antonio. Real estate values are always lower in lousy places to live.

HOLY SHIAT!,, It's all bullcrap people, believe me you DO NOT want to come to Texas, there are no jobs here at all, that's garbage, There are no jobs and the taxes are high, and there is crime, and everyone is an ignorant redneck, there is nothing the fark to do here, Stay away, by all means stay away.

You couldn't pay me to move down there unless it was in the 7 figure range.

I'd rather be dead in Texas than alive in New Jersey.

Impudent Domain: HOLY SHIAT!,, It's all bullcrap people, believe me you DO NOT want to come to Texas, there are no jobs here at all, that's garbage, There are no jobs and the taxes are high, and there is crime, and everyone is an ignorant redneck, there is nothing the fark to do here, Stay away, by all means stay away.

Every time I go there, I know how right you are.

Great, maybe the influx can start to dilute the crazy that is Texas. Really, they're the #1 state begging for their own fark tag. When you see stuff like:

Inmate gets 60 years for having cellphone in jail.

Or

Teen gets 60 years for having sex with his underage girlfriend and breaking probation afterwards.

Admittedly, there's a lot more to each story then just the headline, but still... Texas is a special kind of crazy. It's like Bizarro California.

WHEN DO WE GET OUR "TEXAS" TAG, FARK??

You know damn well we earned it! Many times over!

If you are moving to Dalals, no one drives on 75. There's too much traffic.

Those white legal immigrants from other states took our jerrbbsss!!!!

From TFA:
"Part is the nature of Texas: People don't move there for climate and scenery," Kotkin said.

Ain't that the truth. I've been to Texas once in my life, that was enough for me.

Pastor of Muppets: Gonz: Just don't bring your damn housing bubble down here until I've had a chance to buy.

I can get more house for under $175,000 in San Antonio than most places can get for $300,000.

Yep. Just sold my house in Arkansas for $87/sqft. The houses around here (NE Tarrant Co.) are mostly selling b/w $65-75/sqft.

ha, i'm from arkansas (grew up in sw ark) and live in ne tarrant (bedford). i rent though.

/please, no one preach to me about "throwing away money" "now's the perfect time to buy" blah blah blah.

Impudent Domain must live in Waco.

I moved to Austin in September '08. The crash was October. The amount of over-qualified applicants for crappy jobs was incredible. Everyone and his hipster dog wants to live in ATX for the lifestyle and then ends up working for $2.13 plus a share of the tip-pool or for $8 at Target. There are jobs in TX, they are largely menial labor and pay just enough to drink Lone Star and ride a fixie.

epyonyx: If you are moving to DalalsDallas, no one drives on 75. There's too much traffic.

Much like no one in NYC has a car because of all of the traffic.

JQPublic: I'd rather be dead in Texas than alive in New Jersey.


What about...?

I want to move to Texas just so I can get blown away delivering cookies to my neighbours.

Fortunately I can never return to Texas!! When I was stationed Fort Bliss in 1952 I got a speeding ticket and never took care of it because I already had orders for Korea. I am sure there is a warrant out for me!

Texas is full, go away.

/You and your East/West coast progressive no fun bullshiat should stay away from here, as your idiot kind have already ruined smoking in bars
//And one of you Massholes managed to get us to start building toll roads

Only steers and queers, Cowboy.

without a doubt some of the most attractive woman I have ever met in my life (Both phyiscally and personality) has come from Texas.

I'm a photographer, I deal with beautiful models...and texas is so full of win it's not even funny.

California has beautiful ladies, but it's a gamble on their mindset.

Don't mess with Texas, you don't know where it's been.

NSFW ears.


Link

Time Traveler: Fortunately I can never return to Texas!! When I was stationed Fort Bliss in 1952 I got a speeding ticket and never took care of it because I already had orders for Korea. I am sure there is a warrant out for me!

I can't go back to North Dakota.

...Stay away, by all means stay away.

Please do what Impudent says.

Well crap. As if the traffic isn't bad enough...

Texas has toll roads? Damn...and it used to be so nice down there.

John_Rat_Safari: I moved to Austin in September '08. The crash was October. The amount of over-qualified applicants for crappy jobs was incredible. Everyone and his hipster dog wants to live in ATX for the lifestyle and then ends up working for $2.13 plus a share of the tip-pool or for $8 at Target. There are jobs in TX, they are largely menial labor and pay just enough to drink Lone Star and ride a fixie.

Californianites with their "pre-bubble I don't like taxes" nest eggs ruined Austin quite a while ago. Between the rampant college population coming and going and not really much of any real business going on there (compared to Dallas or Houston it's like Fort Worth's stoned Uncle), it's a great sucker magnet. Live music capital of the world my ass. Pretty much every band not playing Stubbs is playing for table scraps (or rot gut Lone Star) and it shows in their mediocre whatever style they've chosen (blues, emo, rock, blah).

/See Rumbullion if you have a chance though

"Nice hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes..."

if texas is so great, why are there so many texugees in seattle?

Nothing Sweeter Than Redneck Tears: if texas is so great, why are there so many texugees in seattle?

Cause all of the tech people are getting laid off from here and coming to the other tech place...Redmond/Seattle area.

peachpicker: "Nice hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes..."

maybe because texas is so damn hot and seattle isn't?

EtanSivad: Great, maybe the influx can start to dilute the crazy that is Texas. Really, they're the #1 state begging for their own fark tag. When you see stuff like:

Inmate gets 60 years for having cellphone in jail.

Or

Teen gets 60 years for having sex with his underage girlfriend and breaking probation afterwards.

Admittedly, there's a lot more to each story then just the headline, but still... Texas is a special kind of crazy. It's like Bizarro California.

Right. Because Texas is the only place where dumb shiat like that happens. Please.

I swear, there is no other state that brings out the biatching like Texas.

oops i quoted the wrong person, ha!!!!

Di Atribe: EtanSivad: Great, maybe the influx can start to dilute the crazy that is Texas. Really, they're the #1 state begging for their own fark tag. When you see stuff like:

Inmate gets 60 years for having cellphone in jail.

Or

Teen gets 60 years for having sex with his underage girlfriend and breaking probation afterwards.

Admittedly, there's a lot more to each story then just the headline, but still... Texas is a special kind of crazy. It's like Bizarro California.

Right. Because Texas is the only place where dumb shiat like that happens. Please.

I swear, there is no other state that brings out the biatching like Texas.

Well, Florida is already in the final stage of grief...acceptance.

filth: 3. Learn to drive here. We drive bat-shiat insane fast in our larger cities and way out in the sticks, and we drive maddeningly slowly in smaller towns. Don't be self-righteous; just keep right. We can't drive hardly at all if the chance of rain goes above 30%, and God help us if the roads actually get wet. Plan to wait on wrecks. If there is ice, expect people to raid the grocery store the night before and for all the towns to completely shut down. Two things you MUST learn to do:

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA

Are you talking about Dallas specifically when you say this or Texas in general? Because if it's the latter, you're completely full of shiat.

Nobody in Houston knows how to drive well. Nobody keeps right and hardly anybody is courteous. Seems like the rule of the road down here is "I've got a bigass truck, I can drive how I want".

I thought people were exaggerating when they told me that sometimes people here will be in the farthest left lane of an 8 lane road and proceed to turn right. But then I saw it for myself.

If Dallas is anything like Houston when it comes to driving and you consider that good driving, god help us all.

Fast driving != good driving.

Saborlas: filth: tolstoy that I won't clog the thread with

You have outlined why I will never live in Texas.

Hell, he outlined why it be a nice place to relocate to. There's gotta be a catch, though.