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(Some Guy) Ironic This list of "10 Pork Products That Make You Want To Keep Kosher" actually makes me just want to get lunch   (iheartjews.com) divider line 167
More: Ironic  
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Zaphod B. [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 07:57:51 PM  
Mmmmmmm. Happy Meat!

 
Hagbardr [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 08:02:29 PM  
img507.imageshack.us

 
iamrex [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 08:20:57 PM  
MMMMM.... coke-marinated, maggot-infested pork chops.

I'll pass on the treif.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 08:43:25 PM  
When I was a kid my brothers and I would each get a little piglet for Easter, and we'd feed it the vending machine sandwiches my dad brought home from the union kickback scheme he'd arranged with our local state representative, whom he was also conveniently the campaign manager thereof. And we'd name our pigs and make them fat and in the fall we'd send them off to the local Devereaux butcher, where they would turn each morsel into a carefully butcher wrapped package, labeled with each pig's name.

And then we'd fight over whose tasted best.

/good times

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:01:10 PM  
Marcus Aurelius:

That's awesome. We'd do the same thing with lamb. Much cuter (and tastier) IMHO.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:06:05 PM  
Tr0mBoNe

We had a flock of about 20 black faced whatchamacallits that were as stupid as the day was long. The ram thought it was human, being bottle fed, and often followed us onto the school bus in the morning.

He redeemed himself with his offspring. Delicious.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:09:30 PM  
whatchamacallits

Suffolks.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:12:15 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: whatchamacallits

Suffolks.


Ours were Katahdin I think... it was back in the day.

I kinda wish I didn't live in the city... I miss teh farm.

 
iamrex [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:16:33 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: When I was a kid my brothers and I would each get a little piglet for Easter, and we'd feed it the vending machine sandwiches my dad brought home from the union kickback scheme he'd arranged with our local state representative, whom he was also conveniently the campaign manager thereof. And we'd name our pigs and make them fat and in the fall we'd send them off to the local Devereaux butcher, where they would turn each morsel into a carefully butcher wrapped package, labeled with each pig's name.

And then we'd fight over whose tasted best.

/good times


OK. That's awesome. I'd feel worse about eating it if I knew the animal from birth to freezer.

 
nekom [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 09:35:44 PM  
The pork and maggots thing again, really?

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 10:52:26 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: Marcus Aurelius:

That's awesome. We'd do the same thing with lamb. Much cuter (and tastier) IMHO.


Dad owned a medical waste disposal company. So it was kinda similar for me, but more like buffet takeout. Sunday was Placenta Polenta day.

/still not as nasty as fake maggot pork

 
ElLoco 2009-05-16 11:19:42 PM  
Bacon lube?

That's right and wrong on several different levels.

 
Monkeypillow 2009-05-16 11:20:15 PM  
Bacon lube? Seriously, bacon lube?

 
KajakPro 2009-05-16 11:22:14 PM  
nekom: The pork and maggots thing again, really?

The internet is the last refuge of the farking retarded.

 
Emily912 2009-05-16 11:24:02 PM  
That pork experiment is BS. Ever heard of snopes?

 
Lawnchair 2009-05-16 11:24:14 PM  
img341.imageshack.us

 
Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:24:48 PM  
I should have known better than to open that link

 
meow said the dog [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:26:10 PM  
Hello. This does not make me hungry. I do think this would make my roommate hungry. This says very much about the submitter. Thank you.

 
Sneakytoes [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:26:18 PM  
#6 - bacon is not why you're fat. Bacon is why your arteries are clogged. Simple carbs are why you're fat.

/now pass me another beer so I can get fatter

 
CasperImproved [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:28:11 PM  
ElLoco: Bacon lube?

That's right and wrong on several different levels.


It's not any worse then having a running collection of bacon "lube" on the fridge door that's still in active use. Beef Steak? It's there. Fresh or frozen green beans with onions? It's there. Been even thinking about using it vs. un-sweetened butter to make grilled cheesy sandwiches...

What can I say? I have a long thing that only bacon would understand.

 
Nanuk-the White Bear 2009-05-16 11:28:27 PM  
Gimme a pigfoot

/and a bottle of beer

 
wingedkat [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:29:49 PM  
iamrex: OK. That's awesome. I'd feel worse about eating it if I knew the animal from birth to freezer.

I generally feel better. I like to know my food as well as possible before I eat it.... the more blood, bones, and recognizable parts the better.

Really, the people who can't even eat a fish with the head still attached are living in a delusion. I have friends who can't eat meat if it looks like it actually came from an animal! If they can't handle the fact that what they're eating is a DEAD ANIMAL they really ought to switch to vegetables.

oh, and anything bacon is completely yum. They just need to cook that bra, and it becomes much more interesting.

 
medius [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:30:38 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: whom he was also conveniently the campaign manager thereof

could a tub of bacon grease help get this out of my head? it's in there, squealing like a rusted windmill water pump on a dust bowl era pig farm

i can feel something ready to pop

if blood starts streaming out of my eyes and ears, you'll owe me a new keyboard

mmm, bacon grease

 
detfrost1 [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:30:39 PM  
Link (new window)

All I have to say, is that which I got FTA, is my new favorite music video. I want the extended remix for my MuVo

 
MDI_BugMan 2009-05-16 11:31:20 PM  
They missed the New Jersey Pork Roll

 
Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:31:22 PM  
chef_riggy: Bacon is the reason you do NOT want to keep a Kosher kitchen.

Yeah, no. Bacon makes me feel queasy. Yeah, sure I've been a vegetarian for more than a decade (even a vegan at some point) and I never liked pork, but just the smell of bacon makes me feel sick.

It's just hot fat with a bit of meat and more fat cooking in melted fat with too much salt. Disgusting.

 
FeBolas [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:32:39 PM  
+25 for proper and humorous use of ironic tag, subby.

 
Gunny Walker 2009-05-16 11:32:46 PM  
No mention of cracklins? Fried fat has to be cooler than some crummy bacon.
(I was going to mention the brains as well. Nasty stuff.)

 
bingo the psych-o 2009-05-16 11:33:22 PM  
I have to admit the Kmart bacon does look pretty vile.

 
Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:33:24 PM  
Gunny Walker: (I was going to mention the brains as well. Nasty stuff.)

Why would anyone who's not zombified want to eat brain?!

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:33:27 PM  
wingedkat: oh, and anything bacon is completely yum. They just need to cook that bra, and it becomes much more interesting.

I wonder if she stuffs her bra. A little Gorgonzola, some fresh Oregano, and a little salt... Serious Noms.

 
Trelane [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:33:43 PM  
Or check this out:

Bacon Explosion

Bacon roll stuffed with more bacon!

 
NateIsInKentucky 2009-05-16 11:34:18 PM  
lifetussle.files.wordpress.com

I will eat this someday....

 
Sneakytoes [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:35:14 PM  
Tatsuma It's just hot fat with a bit of meat and more fat cooking in melted fat with too much salt. Disgusting.

Fat is good.

 
strutin [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:35:23 PM  
They Missed the St Paul pork products (new window).. (not a rick roll)

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:36:32 PM  
Stop using soap. Use a block of salt pork instead.

 
unclejimbo827 [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:36:47 PM  
Tatsuma: chef_riggy: Bacon is the reason you do NOT want to keep a Kosher kitchen.

Yeah, no. Bacon makes me feel queasy. Yeah, sure I've been a vegetarian for more than a decade (even a vegan at some point) and I never liked pork, but just the smell of bacon makes me feel sick.

It's just hot fat with a bit of meat and more fat cooking in melted fat with too much salt. Disgusting. awesome

 
Trelane [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:37:45 PM  
NateIsInKentucky: I will eat this someday....

That image is from the link I just posted :) There are step-by-step directions on how to make it.

 
IStateTheObvious 2009-05-16 11:37:56 PM  
www.loupiote.com

Noob bloggers.

/Grandma loved those things
//made me wretch

 
journeymd 2009-05-16 11:39:28 PM  
chef_riggy: baconsalt.com is all kosher though -- look for the bacconnaise and bacon lip balm.

Wow, thank you. I've somehow never heard of this! Lox is a fine substitute for ham, but until now I've had a bacon-flavored void.

 
Lanny Budd 2009-05-16 11:39:54 PM  
When did I eat scrapple?

(when he started drinkin', it was a whole 'nother story)

 
skinink 2009-05-16 11:41:37 PM  
I love that Weezer song, Pork and Maggots. I especially like it when the Numa Numa kid stuffs Mentos and pork products into a bottle of Coke to get exploding maggots.

 
minoridiot 2009-05-16 11:41:40 PM  
I like head cheese. Alot. My wife can't even be around when the kids and I are eating it, but that just means more for me.

 
swamp_of_dumb 2009-05-16 11:41:41 PM  
strutin: They Missed the St Paul pork products (new window).. (not a rick roll)

My father worked at a St. Paul slaughterhouse. His first day he was put on the killing floor. He said it put him off pork...for about five minutes.

/had a BLT for lunch
//It's twue!

 
spacechicken170am 2009-05-16 11:42:54 PM  
MDI_BugMan: They missed the New Jersey Pork Roll

You shut your whore mouth!! Taylor ham is great. Especially when it has that little pac man lookin cut in it so it doesn't curl up in the skillet.

/WTF do i know I'm from PA and we eat scrapple
/fry up scrapple and top with some maple syrup
//it's delicious

 
Gunny Walker 2009-05-16 11:44:35 PM  
Tatsuma: Why would anyone who's not zombified want to eat brain?!

Why do you climb that mountain? Cause, it's there, man. As soon as I saw brains and eggs on the menu, I knew what I was ordering. It seemed like they brought me a whole pound of the stuff. I almost made it, but I also almost "puked my brains out." (Kind of like it's time to stop drinking when you vurp.) Over all, I'm kind of proud of myself in a disturbing way. I think I could have made it if it had some peppers in it instead of just straight brains and eggs.

 
stu1-1 2009-05-16 11:44:50 PM  
I CAN'T READ!

Link (new window)

 
tzzhc4 2009-05-16 11:44:53 PM  
No I would still eat it.

 
timesten 2009-05-16 11:45:12 PM  
minoridiot: I like head cheese. Alot. My wife can't even be around when the kids and I are eating it, but that just means more for me.

ive had this on 4 different occasions, and only once was is ok. 2x had a crazy amount of gelatin in it.. chunky cajun pork jello is a turn-off.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-05-16 11:47:04 PM  
IStateTheObvious: Noob bloggers.

/Grandma loved those things
//made me wretch


Pig Penises?

You, your family, and everything you stand for are freaks.

 
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