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(Miami Herald) Obvious Imagine being a healthy, single 39-year-old working in South Beach -- and you're sworn to celibacy? It's like the Vatican version of waterboarding   (miamiherald.com) divider line 91
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Alphax 2009-05-10 09:28:12 AM  
Well, I'm 38 and celibate.. if not quite by choice..

 
Inquisitive Inquisitor 2009-05-10 09:33:02 AM  
You made the choice and took the vows. If you wanted to roll around on a beach and cavort with sin, you should have been a Protestant.

 
INeedAName 2009-05-10 09:35:53 AM  
Inquisitive Inquisitor: You made the choice and took the vows. If you wanted to roll around on a beach and cavort with sin, you should have been a Protestant.

Amen to that!

/Protestant

 
Durendal [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 09:43:43 AM  
I guess he just wanted her to feel the power of the priesthood and to be filled with the holy spirit.

 
beoswulf 2009-05-10 09:47:25 AM  
No one knows how many wise and decent men have been deterred from pursuing the priesthood by the moldy rule -- imposed almost four centuries after Christ died -- that forbids sex or marriage.

The Catholic Church would be more popular than Jesus with men if they allowed priests to have sex but not get married. It's the perfect excuse. "Sorry but I'm same-sex married-but-not-gay to the Lord"

 
Kierkegaard's Pseudonym 2009-05-10 09:52:30 AM  
i628.photobucket.com

¿Y el celibato?

 
Rann Xerox 2009-05-10 09:54:41 AM  
Celibacy was strictly enforced beginning in the 12th Century because of economic reasons: priests and bishops, who came from rich and affluent families, had wives and then had children who then inherited their property. The church, of course, wanted the property.

Being raised catholic and finding that out really blew my mind.

 
WillieStokes 2009-05-10 09:57:12 AM  
Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: ¿Y el celibato?

Domo arigato, Mr. Celibato.

 
Rann Xerox 2009-05-10 10:03:03 AM  
WillieStokes: Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: ¿Y el celibato?

Domo arigato, Mr. Celibato.


I Faproy! Faproy! Faproy! Faproy!

 
Phil Herup 2009-05-10 10:15:34 AM  
Inquisitive Inquisitor: You made the choice and took the vows. If you wanted to roll around on a beach and cavort with sin, you should have been a Protestant.



Exactly my boy.


www.mwscomp.com


/hot... like South Beach

 
shirtsbyeric 2009-05-10 10:15:47 AM  
You know the Japanese invented waterboarding, but they didn't call it waterboarding. No, they called it bukakke. And they didn't use water, they used semen.
milbut.org

 
equilibrium 2009-05-10 10:15:54 AM  
Rann Xerox: Celibacy was strictly enforced beginning in the 12th Century because of economic reasons: priests and bishops, who came from rich and affluent families, had wives and then had children who then inherited their property. The church, of course, wanted the property.

Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things. It's one of the reasons I can barely keep a straight face when fundamentalists start going off about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage wasn't a religious thing in the middle ages unless you were wealthy, in which case the Church wanted a cut of the action. If you weren't noble or wealthy you got to jump over a broom (literally) at your village shindig.

/don't even get me started on the rapture

 
Phil Herup 2009-05-10 10:26:07 AM  
equilibrium: Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things.



I agree.


I think Jeebus would be plenty pissed to see the abomination and outright hypocrisy that the Catholic Church has become.

 
Rann Xerox 2009-05-10 10:34:15 AM  
equilibrium: Rann Xerox: Celibacy was strictly enforced beginning in the 12th Century because of economic reasons: priests and bishops, who came from rich and affluent families, had wives and then had children who then inherited their property. The church, of course, wanted the property.

Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things. It's one of the reasons I can barely keep a straight face when fundamentalists start going off about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage wasn't a religious thing in the middle ages unless you were wealthy, in which case the Church wanted a cut of the action. If you weren't noble or wealthy you got to jump over a broom (literally) at your village shindig.

/don't even get me started on the rapture


In my senior year in catholic high school, priests from the local seminary came to my school looking for students who wanted to attend the theology school and become priests. I was interviewed by one of the priests and asked if I wanted to become a priest.

I said to him, "It sounds like a good and noble thing, but I have to say 'No.'" The priest asked me why. I said: "I don't like your rules in regards to celibacy."

The priest smiled, began to laugh and told me that I was the first person that ever used that reason. In fact, the priest said that he admired my honesty. And I could tell from his reaction that, deep inside, he felt that celibacy was bullsh*t, too.

I am no longer a practicing catholic. The church is too full of hypocrisy and stagnation for me.

 
Di Renjie 2009-05-10 10:35:29 AM  
well he is a cutie

 
attackingpencil 2009-05-10 10:39:25 AM  
Rann Xerox: Celibacy was strictly enforced beginning in the 12th Century because of economic reasons: priests and bishops, who came from rich and affluent families, had wives and then had children who then inherited their property. The church, of course, wanted the property.

Being raised catholic and finding that out really blew my mind.


Also, there were some concerns about how much power women had over the Church (the Church being an area where women were actually able to accrue quite a bit of power which wasn't available to them in other walks of life).

 
Uncontrolled_Jibe 2009-05-10 10:50:30 AM  
Silly Catholics, the priests already live with their romantic partners.

Actually, the Catholic church is now impoverished compared to other periods in its history. There is no chance of local parishes being able to support a priest and his wife who is not on birth control.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-05-10 10:53:49 AM  
Around here (Worcester, MA) the Catholic Church is on a massive recruiting campaign for the priesthood. Out of curiosity, I watched one of their recruiting infomercials last week. An hour long and nary a mention of the life of being cockblocked.

 
BilltheThrill 2009-05-10 10:55:20 AM  
I honestly believe that love and sex are sacred gifts from God. I can't understand how they believe that by refusing to indulge in these blessings, that you are somehow closer to God.

 
Egalitarian [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-05-10 11:06:50 AM  
Is Padre Cutie a cutie? Anyone got pics?

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 11:10:21 AM  
shirtsbyeric: You know the Japanese invented waterboarding, but they didn't call it waterboarding. No, they called it bukakke. And they didn't use water, they used semen.

You forgot the octopus!

 
citizen905 2009-05-10 11:11:42 AM  
The Catholic church should be destroyed. It is a corrupting influence, preying on our youth, enticing them into an unnatural lifestyle. Bravo to this man for rejecting the church and doing what God intended.

 
Uncontrolled_Jibe 2009-05-10 11:29:42 AM  
citizen905: The CatholicReligion church should be destroyed. It is a corrupting influence, preying on our youth, enticing them into an unnatural lifestyle. Bravo to this man for rejecting the church superstition and doing what GodNature intended.

FTFY

 
Cathedralmaster 2009-05-10 11:42:41 AM  
BilltheThrill: I honestly believe that love and sex are sacred gifts from God. I can't understand how they believe that by refusing to indulge in these blessings, that you are somehow closer to God.

The idea is that they would refocus that energy into a more powerful relationship with God. Kathleen Norris dealt with the subject some in her book, The Cloister Walk.

As a Roman Catholic, I think it's a tradition that needs to go, same as the ban on female priests. However, the author of the TFA is right, there's a better chance of Rush Limbaugh becoming a democrat than there is of the current Vatican changing it's stand on sex, love, or women.

Roman Catholicism is focusing heavily on the third world these days; I think it's becoming a third world religion - for the sake of that world, it's losing the first world. In America, I've heard they're having to bring in priests now from places like India where the recruitment of priests is booming to make up for the shortfall here.

 
WillieStokes 2009-05-10 11:56:36 AM  
Cathedralmaster: BilltheThrill: I honestly believe that love and sex are sacred gifts from God. I can't understand how they believe that by refusing to indulge in these blessings, that you are somehow closer to God.

The idea is that they would refocus that energy into a more powerful relationship with God.

Exactly how much energy does self-denial and the emotion stress it produces produce? 1.21 Bluballawatts?

 
WillieStokes 2009-05-10 11:57:55 AM  
That's a lot of produce.

limeinheaven.files.wordpress.com

 
attackingpencil 2009-05-10 11:58:53 AM  
Interestingly enough, you could make an argument that sexual renunciation was on the major factors in making Christianity popular in the first place. Times have changed.

 
mikeandeichmann 2009-05-10 12:01:55 PM  
Betraying your religion to do something your God intended you to do is not a betrayal of anything at all. Good for him.

 
Barak vEsh 2009-05-10 12:26:29 PM  
Carl Hiassen

 
Barak vEsh 2009-05-10 12:27:07 PM  
rather,

squeee Carl Hiassen

 
jayhawk88 2009-05-10 12:45:22 PM  
equilibrium: Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things. It's one of the reasons I can barely keep a straight face when fundamentalists start going off about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage wasn't a religious thing in the middle ages unless you were wealthy, in which case the Church wanted a cut of the action. If you weren't noble or wealthy you got to jump over a broom (literally) at your village shindig.

There were a lot of reasons Martin Luther was so pissed. 95 of them, in fact.

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 12:54:19 PM  
jayhawk88: equilibrium: Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things. It's one of the reasons I can barely keep a straight face when fundamentalists start going off about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage wasn't a religious thing in the middle ages unless you were wealthy, in which case the Church wanted a cut of the action. If you weren't noble or wealthy you got to jump over a broom (literally) at your village shindig.

There were a lot of reasons Martin Luther was so pissed. 95 of them, in fact.


Yup. And the church really freaked out when they saw him nailing his wife against the cathedral's front doors.

 
PattyMcG 2009-05-10 12:56:53 PM  
Barak vEsh: rather,

squeee Carl Hiassen


Yeah, Hiaasen induces many a squee-gasm. Love his stuff.

 
DrZiffle 2009-05-10 12:59:39 PM  
No the Vatican version of waterboarding is called baptism.

 
Phil Moskowitz 2009-05-10 01:01:31 PM  
Why do we need this hoary system of control? We already have TV in place. Can we just get rid of organized religion, already?

 
CnFlght 2009-05-10 01:14:00 PM  
FunkOut: jayhawk88: equilibrium: Studying the actual history and development of your religion gives you an entirely new perspective on things. It's one of the reasons I can barely keep a straight face when fundamentalists start going off about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage wasn't a religious thing in the middle ages unless you were wealthy, in which case the Church wanted a cut of the action. If you weren't noble or wealthy you got to jump over a broom (literally) at your village shindig.

There were a lot of reasons Martin Luther was so pissed. 95 of them, in fact.

Yup. And the church really freaked out when they saw him nailing his wife against the cathedral's front doors.


I guess he had 95 problems but the b*tch ain't one.

 
gadian [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 01:24:10 PM  
I don't feel sorry for priests (or nuns) who violate their vows. They should be thrown out. Your faith should be enough to keep you chaste, if not you should have never taken the job. No one is twisting your arm to become a priest and you can leave whenever you want.

 
Christian Bale 2009-05-10 01:33:30 PM  
I see the headline is completely ripped verbatim from the article. Does Fark still have the right of "fair use" to sell this t-shirt at profit?

 
netcentric 2009-05-10 01:38:37 PM  
It's like the version of being a douche nozzle subby...

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 01:40:58 PM  
beoswulf: No one knows how many wise and decent men have been deterred from pursuing the priesthood by the moldy rule -- imposed almost four centuries after Christ died -- that forbids sex or marriage.

The Catholic Church would be more popular than Jesus with men if they allowed priests to have sex but not get married. It's the perfect excuse. "Sorry but I'm same-sex married-but-not-gay to the Lord"


i6.photobucket.com

 
Cathedralmaster 2009-05-10 01:42:18 PM  
gadian: I don't feel sorry for priests (or nuns) who violate their vows. They should be thrown out. Your faith should be enough to keep you chaste, if not you should have never taken the job. No one is twisting your arm to become a priest and you can leave whenever you want.

The question is is that a realistic standard in the modern first world? It's nice to say that is how things should be, but if it's not achievable or sustainable, you're sunk.

In order to be approachable by the world, you have to be part of the world. Set your standards too far beyond where the world stands and you may be more holy, but you'll lose that connection, and the Church's mission to bring the world closer to perfection (or however you want to describe it) becomes unattainable.

Is it even desirable anymore to have priests that have no first hand knowledge of relationships, given so many modern concerns are about such relationships?

 
gadian [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 01:47:03 PM  
Cathedralmaster: gadian: I don't feel sorry for priests (or nuns) who violate their vows. They should be thrown out. Your faith should be enough to keep you chaste, if not you should have never taken the job. No one is twisting your arm to become a priest and you can leave whenever you want.

The question is is that a realistic standard in the modern first world? It's nice to say that is how things should be, but if it's not achievable or sustainable, you're sunk.

In order to be approachable by the world, you have to be part of the world. Set your standards too far beyond where the world stands and you may be more holy, but you'll lose that connection, and the Church's mission to bring the world closer to perfection (or however you want to describe it) becomes unattainable.

Is it even desirable anymore to have priests that have no first hand knowledge of relationships, given so many modern concerns are about such relationships?


The whole point is that priests are supposed to be better, more honorable, and more faithful than the plebes. If you can't cut it for whatever reason, leave.

Sure, I'm not a nun (except on tuesdays when I play one for my catholic boyfriend), I would agree its not a comfortable spot to be in, but if you don't like the rules don't play the game. As for relationship counseling, there is a whole book of remedies approved by the church. Its not like you have to be creative about these sorts of things and come up with new material.

Be from the world, but not of the world and lead by example.

 
LordJiro 2009-05-10 01:56:45 PM  
i538.photobucket.com

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-05-10 02:05:53 PM  
Christian Bale: I see the headline is completely ripped verbatim from the article. Does Fark still have the right of "fair use" to sell this t-shirt at profit?


That's an interesting question. Fair use and satire are nebulous issues. However, I'd hate to get banned for trying to explo

 
SynthLord 2009-05-10 02:26:51 PM  
Good for him. I hope he sees the error of his ways and leaves the church.

To me, it's a sign of mental illness for an adult to voluntarily abstain from sexual pleasure, especially if they're in a position to take a lover.

It's like a starving man not eating when there's a free buffet laid out before him.

 
Knobbs 2009-05-10 02:31:33 PM  
It sickens me that this is on the politics tab.

 
Kierkegaard's Pseudonym 2009-05-10 02:32:42 PM  
SynthLord: To me, it's a sign of mental illness for an adult to voluntarily abstain from sexual pleasure, especially if they're in a position to take a lover.

It's a neutral act. We may have a hardwired desire for sex, but we have the same desire for a lot of things. It's no more of a mental illness to restrict your caloric intake and not eat when you're hungry than it is to abstain from sex. It's neither commendable nor detestable. It just is.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-05-10 02:34:01 PM  
I think it's a good thing priests can't fark. Can you imagine, guys, having to compete for women with dudes who are literally holier than thou? It be like the "sensitive guy" at the party who sits there and plays acoustic guitar and the chicks flock to, times a thousand. Granted they're broke and don't have a place of their own, but some of us skeezier bachelors on the prowl have pretty much the same disadvantages. If priests were allowed to get laid, there's no hope for the rest of us men.

 
maggartron 2009-05-10 02:35:01 PM  
attackingpencil: Interestingly enough, you could make an argument that sexual renunciation was on the major factors in making Christianity popular in the first place. Times have changed.

I would like to hear your argument. The only reason that the Catholic Church exists is to compete with Christianity. Christ has no "vicar". Catholicism is nearly the antithesis of Christianity. The Catholic Church was created out of necessity. Rome couldn't kill all of the Christians, so they created this pastiche of the "mystery religions" and Christianity. Catholicism is the Cult of Isis, Dagon, Mithra, et al.

The Catholic Church is responsible for every atrocity committed in the name of Christianity, but it is not a Christian organization.

 
InteriorDesignNinja 2009-05-10 02:37:45 PM  
And what's wrong with waterboarding, libmitter?

 
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