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(ABC News) Florida Palm Beach police paragliders are watching you masturbate   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 75
More: Florida  
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15493 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2009 at 8:38 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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cyclebiff 2009-05-09 08:38:57 PM  
Niceeee.

 
wild9 2009-05-09 08:40:41 PM  
Man, some of you farkers have small dicks. I had to put on 3x zoom.

 
RocketFood 2009-05-09 08:44:26 PM  
COP1: Damn, we've got fifty trillion dollars left over in the budget!
COP2: When do we have to give it back?
COP1: Give it back? We'll never have to give it back if we spend it!
COP2: But what do we need? More guns? More dogs? A tank? A fancy mobile command unit? Body armor?
COP1: We already have all that stuff.
COP2: *think*think*think*think*think*
COP1: *think*think*think*think*think*
COP2: I got it! Paragliders!
COP1: LOLWUT
COP2: Seriously, how farking fun would it be to just sort of glide over the city watching people from above?
COP1: Hmmmmmm...
COP2: It would cost fifty trillion bucks, too, when you factor in all the extra training and stuff.
COP1: Awesome!!

 
genner 2009-05-09 08:44:28 PM  
PPP?
I have a cable internet connection so I don't have to mess with it.

 
weathermanfsu [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 08:45:30 PM  
Hey Subby - it is Palm Bay (my hometown), which is a couple hours from Palm Beach. -2 for not reading the story.

 
moondo 2009-05-09 08:45:57 PM  
sometimes i wonder if people are really rational

 
Emily912 2009-05-09 08:48:19 PM  
Alright: who's going to be the first to start whining about how they have no right to do their job if it involves looking down at us instead of around them?

 
NightOwl2255 2009-05-09 08:49:02 PM  
Skeet?

 
StrikitRich 2009-05-09 08:50:12 PM  
This was local news 2 weeks ago. Why is ABC slow to the uptake?

weathermanfsu: Hey Subby - it is Palm Bay (my hometown), which is a couple hours from Palm Beach. -2 for not reading the story.

My condolences.

/Go Rockledge Raiders.

 
kmt11 2009-05-09 08:50:14 PM  
I wonder how many of these air cops will end up getting shot down? Seems like Florida would be the type of state that people would do that very quickly.

 
jdamaral 2009-05-09 08:50:42 PM  
Can't wait until a case gets overturned because the assailant didn't know it was a police paraglider flying overhead.

Oh, and give someone a decently powered rifle and that son of a biatch is going down hard

 
wingedkat [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 08:51:08 PM  
How fast and accurately can a paraglider land? or will they have to radio in for support if they see something?

 
timefishblue 2009-05-09 08:53:03 PM  
DUCK COP SEASON

 
42 by ten 2009-05-09 08:53:32 PM  
If the whole point of this is to avoid the use of airplanes or helicopters, how does this contraption get off the ground? Sure you could do a cliff launch, but I don't think there are many cliffs around there...

 
heypete 2009-05-09 08:58:28 PM  
42 by ten: If the whole point of this is to avoid the use of airplanes or helicopters, how does this contraption get off the ground? Sure you could do a cliff launch, but I don't think there are many cliffs around there...

Running.

I'm not kidding: one turns on the motor, starts running so that the parachute lifts off the ground and fills with air, and then revs up the motor which will then drive the apparatus until landing.

See the article at the Wikipedia for more details.

 
Lampmonster [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 09:00:36 PM  
42 by ten: If the whole point of this is to avoid the use of airplanes or helicopters, how does this contraption get off the ground? Sure you could do a cliff launch, but I don't think there are many cliffs around there...

Catapult.

 
Farkage 2009-05-09 09:01:09 PM  
NightOwl2255: Skeet?

I lol'd!

 
theknuckler_33 2009-05-09 09:07:16 PM  
If I had a dollar for every time a paraglider saw me masturbating...

 
Lord Snoopy's G.P.E.H. 2009-05-09 09:14:21 PM  
Well, watch out for flak over my house.

 
vgt 2009-05-09 09:16:23 PM  
They even have a bear in the air?

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 09:17:07 PM  
Hey, pig, you want me to roll over so you can have a better view?

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-05-09 09:17:40 PM  
How long can a paraglider stay up, anyway?

 
Dingo7734 2009-05-09 09:19:12 PM  
I'd be masturbating while flying one of those things.

/hey is it raining?

 
GWSuperfan 2009-05-09 09:23:49 PM  
JonnyBGoode: How long can a paraglider stay up, anyway?

With or without Viagra?

 
HawkEyes 2009-05-09 09:28:45 PM  
theknuckler_33: If I had a dollar for every time a paraglider saw me masturbating...

...I'd have four dollars.

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-05-09 09:34:07 PM  
NightOwl2255: Skeet?

kmt11: I wonder how many of these air cops will end up getting shot down?

Skeet shooting?

 
neelb420 2009-05-09 09:35:24 PM  
Just wait until your over 18 and you're abused under 24/7 surveillance for the act of thinking by a large cult organization (compromising the majority) that nobody talks about but which is operated by the military--then you'll wish those paragliders had joined you!

 
genner 2009-05-09 09:42:40 PM  
HawkEyes: theknuckler_33: If I had a dollar for every time a paraglider saw me masturbating...

...I'd have four dollars.


That's still a lot of paragliders all things considered.

 
tarhammer 2009-05-09 09:44:52 PM  
Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

 
Dingo7734 2009-05-09 09:49:59 PM  
tarhammer: Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

and the first was your facebook profile?

/just sayin'

 
Calamormine [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 09:53:33 PM  
HawkEyes: theknuckler_33: If I had a dollar for every time a paraglider saw me masturbating...

...I'd have four dollars.


...I'd be making money in a very weird way.

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-05-09 09:57:00 PM  
I hope so. I hate having to go looking for an audience.

 
gibbon1 2009-05-09 09:57:15 PM  
That sound you just heard was the county's insurance agent spewing his soup all over his corporate laptop.

I Have two friends that got seriously farked up doing
paragliding.

 
neelb420 2009-05-09 09:59:41 PM  
You see the concept is that it's not a thought crime if you can't think, therefore your free to think whatever you want, so long as you don't have the capability to actually think anything, which is illegal. You are free to pretend to, as speech and thinking aren't really related to logic or cognitive ability but memory, so as you can see all these people are just plagiarizing logic or using moldy linear logic foundations. The funny part is how there primary logic foundations work, it's kind of like somebody constantly looking up the definition of the word definition in a dictionary so they can find out what a dictionary is instead of looking up the definition of dictionary in the dictionary. Another fallacy is that instead of assuming that the definition of a dictionary is exactly what is listed in the dictionary, they presume that the definition of dictionary is better located in the definition of definition.

 
theknuckler_33 2009-05-09 10:02:38 PM  
genner: HawkEyes: theknuckler_33: If I had a dollar for every time a paraglider saw me masturbating...

...I'd have four dollars.

That's still a lot of paragliders all things considered.


If HawkEyes would have gotten 4 dollars, I wonder how much each individual paraglider would get if they got a dollar for every time they spotted someone masturbating. Is it more common to be seen masturbating or to see it?

Maybe Phoebe Cates has some insights on this issue.

cm1.theinsider.com

 
theknuckler_33 2009-05-09 10:07:19 PM  
neelb420: You see the concept is that it's not a thought crime if you can't think, therefore your free to think whatever you want, so long as you don't have the capability to actually think anything, which is illegal. You are free to pretend to, as speech and thinking aren't really related to logic or cognitive ability but memory, so as you can see all these people are just plagiarizing logic or using moldy linear logic foundations. The funny part is how there primary logic foundations work, it's kind of like somebody constantly looking up the definition of the word definition in a dictionary so they can find out what a dictionary is instead of looking up the definition of dictionary in the dictionary. Another fallacy is that instead of assuming that the definition of a dictionary is exactly what is listed in the dictionary, they presume that the definition of dictionary is better located in the definition of definition.

blog.scs.sk.ca

 
Denial_of_Death 2009-05-09 10:15:06 PM  
Approves of paragliders:
i15.photobucket.com

Approves of Palm Bay:
i15.photobucket.com

 
Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute 2009-05-09 10:16:29 PM  
i398.photobucket.com

PALM BAY is not PALM BEACH, submittard.

/palm bay is neck
//palm beach is snatch

 
tarhammer 2009-05-09 10:16:31 PM  
Dingo7734: tarhammer: Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

and the first was your facebook profile?

/just sayin'


And now we know what the stupidest thing is.

 
Hop-Frog 2009-05-09 10:21:04 PM  
Oh, sure. They'll approve this plan when pigs fly. Wait, what?

 
CruiserTwelve [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 10:22:04 PM  
FTA: "The canopy of trees in our community prevented the helicopter from seeing a woman who had [died] close to her car. The paragliders would have been able to get much lower."

Paragliders can fly lower than trees?

 
CaesarSneezy 2009-05-09 10:22:27 PM  
Chief Berger sees the gliders as an ideal tool for searching for missing elderly people who have wandered away.

I can't believe I'm reading this. Can cops just do anything with tax money now? Paragliders. Para. Gliders.

 
CruiserTwelve [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 10:23:13 PM  
jdamaral: Can't wait until a case gets overturned because the assailant didn't know it was a police paraglider flying overhead.

Why would that cause a case to get overturned?

 
Dingo7734 2009-05-09 10:26:22 PM  
tarhammer: Dingo7734: tarhammer: Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

and the first was your facebook profile?

/just sayin'

And now we know what the stupidest thing is.


So I was right, wasn't I?

 
Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute 2009-05-09 10:28:40 PM  
CaesarSneezy: Chief Berger sees the gliders as an ideal tool for searching for missing elderly people who have wandered away.

I can't believe I'm reading this. Can cops just do anything with tax money now? Paragliders. Para. Gliders.


They are cheaper than cars.
Plus, the copper is more likely to DIAF.

/double win

//just kidding mr. police guy.

 
tarhammer 2009-05-09 10:29:33 PM  
Dingo7734: tarhammer: Dingo7734: tarhammer: Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

and the first was your facebook profile?

/just sayin'

And now we know what the stupidest thing is.

So I was right, wasn't I?


Yes you are. I think if I take off the photos of your mom it'll improve things quite a bit. Besides, she was getting a little chubby from all those seven calorie snacks.

Just kidding. I dont have a facebook account to post pictures of your mom to.

 
CaesarSneezy 2009-05-09 10:29:37 PM  
CruiserTwelve: FTA: "The canopy of trees in our community prevented the helicopter from seeing a woman who had [died] close to her car. The paragliders would have been able to get much lower."

Paragliders can fly lower than trees?


Yeah, seriously. The attempts to justify this are unbelievably ridiculous and transparent. I mean, don't get me wrong. If this came up at my job, and my superiors were as gullible as the general public, I'd be making up all kinds of excuses as to why I need to fly around all day. I just don't want to pay a cop to fly around looking for trouble when I'm sure there's a stack of unsolved cases on his desk.

 
Dingo7734 2009-05-09 10:32:16 PM  
tarhammer: Dingo7734: tarhammer: Dingo7734: tarhammer: Positively the second stupidest thing I've ever read.

and the first was your facebook profile?

/just sayin'

And now we know what the stupidest thing is.

So I was right, wasn't I?

Yes you are. I think if I take off the photos of your mom it'll improve things quite a bit. Besides, she was getting a little chubby from all those seven calorie snacks.

Just kidding. I dont have a facebook account to post pictures of your mom to.


Tell mom I say Hi.

 
myalias1845 2009-05-09 10:37:28 PM  
CaesarSneezy: Chief Berger sees the gliders as an ideal tool for searching for missing elderly people who have wandered away.

I can't believe I'm reading this. Can cops just do anything with tax money now? Paragliders. Para. Gliders.


I thought thats what fake bus stops were for.
Link (new window)

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2009-05-09 10:37:55 PM  
Did they forget that paragliding takes a minimum of athleticism and skill? So are all the cops going to go to Hawaii now to get paragliding training?

 
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