I prefer older methods of vapid collection systems, like baseball cards or pogs. Rollie Fingers and ALF are way cooler than my creepy 9th grade science teacher and my great aunt with the Hummel figurine collection.

Mine is full of stories of a legend; Bill Brasky.

I totally agree with this headline. I have a friend who would update telling us about how much he was working out. It got a annoying and we yelled at him.

AzDownboy likes this

Mayostard: Mine is full of stories of a legend; Bill Brasky.



BILL BRASKY?!?!?! Bill Brasky is a son of a biatch!!!!

TheAuldTriangle: I totally agree with this headline. I have a friend who would update telling us about how much he was working out. It got a annoying and we yelled at him.

You know JFP?

The frequency presence of your Facebook status updates is directly proportional to the likelihood means you are a narcissistic douchebag

Hold on, I'm totally using that headline as my status. I was going there to update my 5 celebrity look-alikes, anyway.

RoxtarRyan is feeling good about lunch today

And this is news because?

My friends know when I'm having a bad day by the number &
character of my FB status updates. So, I guess I am a
narcissistic douchebag sometimes?

Aren't we all?

Note to friends, please stop sending me virtual plants. You are making me nervous.

TheAuldTriangle: I totally agree with this headline. I have a friend who would update telling us about how much he was working out. It got a annoying and we yelled at him.


That's not as bad as the religious nuts constantly using the status updates to demonstrate their faith to everyone.

As for myself, most of mine are Star Trek and Star Wars references...


/I need to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

I thought the whole point of Facebook was to be a narcissistic douchebag.

Do you want your news feed to be blank every day?

RoxtarRyan is upset by the lack of pics in this thread

JerseyTim is.

RoxtarRyan bought JerseyTim a drink! To share this drink-

Really? Let me try....






...

Hmmm, I dunno, it's working fine for me. Maybe it was a server glitch when you submitted this.

UberDave: BILL BRASKY?!?!?! Bill Brasky is a son of a biatch!!!!

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of The King and I? Well anyway, before the show, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast, and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat has tagged RoxtarRyan in a note.

I never update my Facebook page which makes me better than all of you.

Poop is coming out right now, but I'd never post that on FB.

I don't feel bad about my dumb status updates on Facebook. I mean, I try to make them interesting or funny, but I'm sure many of them aren't. People can block them or whatever if they want, it's not like I'm phoning them up and saying "I'm going golfing. Just thought you should know."

The flip side of that is that I'm morally obligated to not be offended if 90% of my 'friends' remove me from their news feed. That's their prerogative... *sob*

DjangoStonereaver: And this is news because?

My friends know when I'm having a bad day by the number &
character of my FB status updates. So, I guess I am a
narcissistic douchebag sometimes?

Aren't we all?

No.

I prefer a daily series of one-liners and random, unsolicited opinions throughout the day under a fake screenname. So you all can suck it, because I'm awesomer than you.

After I take my weekly shower I update my status to the title of the song I sang in the bathroom.

Social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. are for losers. Those who have healthy interpersonal relationships, or are antisocial recluses like me, don't need them.

/Fark? That's much, much different, of course.

RoxtarRyan is pondering whether or not to get Taco Bell for lunch today...

I don't have a Facebook (or at least I think it's deleted), and I'm still a narcissistic douchebag.

Those of you who share my habit of obsessively checking Facebook know exactly what I'm talking about.

if this sentence describes you, you are probably also a douchebag and deserve whatever narcissism that comes your way.

I thought the Globe was toast.

/Gonna go check my Facebook

Gaboo is updating his status

Les Walgreen's Profile |  Create Your Badge

Okay, poop is coming out.

Eddie Adams from Torrance is getting a real kick out of some of these replies.

Mentat: I never update my Facebook page which makes me better than all of you.

I don't have a Facebook, Twitter nor MySpace page, which makes me even better than you! However, I do recognize your seniority on Fark, good sir.

Mentat: I never update my Facebook page which makes me better than all of you.

I don't have a facebook page nor have I ever been to facebook.com which means I'm better than all of you. :P

RoxtarRyan is full of Taco Bell. Everyone who is in this thread should be on full alert and prepared to don their gas masks.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat is pondering

Gee, Subby, you say narcisstic douchebag like it's a BAD thing!

Narcissist? Hey pay, if you know a more convenient way that I can keep track of my minions, sex objects, worshipers, and pawns, I'd like to here it.

But enough about me - how about YOU? More precisely, tell me your favorite things about me.

Oops gotta run, I have an date a hottie, a bottle of baby oil, and a mirror. That's right, it's oil up and pose time!

RoxtarRyan was scared for a moment, as this thread was temporarily unavailable.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat is pondering

"Still waters run deep, chief."

RTFA, aspiring douches and douchettes.

I can accept the "I hate grocery shopping!" status updates. What I hate are the super-vague ones that are supposed to come off as witty and hip, but are invariably plagiarized and always dumb. "Angry Buddha has found the nougaty center" or some such shiat.

Worst of all is the pseudo-existential and hackneyed "Angry Budda is."

vossiewulf: DjangoStonereaver: And this is news because?

My friends know when I'm having a bad day by the number &
character of my FB status updates. So, I guess I am a
narcissistic douchebag sometimes?

Aren't we all?

No.



Hint in file name

Poop is coming out...

I use my facebook status as a way to gather my friends. Disc gold I put the course and time. If some of us are going out to a bar, bars name and time.

This way no one has to call everyone and no one is left out.

I call bullshiat. I've never been on Facebook, but I LOVE me some me.

CygnusDarius thinks TFA is a total waste of time.

/Why yes, I do have a facebook