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(AP) Weird On top of everything else, now there could be a beer bottle shortage   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 41
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Archived thread
 
necropoultryac 2009-05-03 11:10:19 AM  
By kegs...recycle and all that stuff

/kegs

 
Sun God [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 11:12:43 AM  
At least there isn't a shortage of hops.

....

 
heavythumb 2009-05-03 11:28:30 AM  
the children, won't somebody please, etc...

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 11:28:35 AM  
Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

A close second is this ale I discovered on a remote island south of the Phillipines. It's called Los Scrantosia Tilaphagiata de Tiamata, or "Tiamat" to the locals. Amazing stuff. Fiery on the tongue but chocolaty on the throat. It's distributed only in bottles that wash up on shore...when a bottle arrives, it's filled, then thrown back to sea. You have to really look to find them, so again, it's doubtful that any of you have ever even seen one. I have a few in my basement.

Oh, and I can't mention any of this without a nod to Hellespointia Guirardia Double Stout Heniey Ale. This is the recipe that is created when the process used to make Guiness succeeds. Most people only get the failed recipes, which is distributed as Guiness and appreciated by lemmings who don't any better. The real stuff is distributed only in miniature wooden casks. Just so you know.

 
szyska 2009-05-03 11:29:23 AM  
Just line up next to the brewing tank and get it straight from the tap.

 
Dorf11 2009-05-03 11:29:34 AM  
The shortage applies to areas completely outside my garage.

 
forstmeister 2009-05-03 11:33:57 AM  
They can just put a direct line into my forearm. Problem solved.

 
Rhames 2009-05-03 11:34:03 AM  
content.ytmnd.com

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 11:37:53 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

A close second is this ale I discovered on a remote island south of the Phillipines. It's called Los Scrantosia Tilaphagiata de Tiamata, or "Tiamat" to the locals. Amazing stuff. Fiery on the tongue but chocolaty on the throat. It's distributed only in bottles that wash up on shore...when a bottle arrives, it's filled, then thrown back to sea. You have to really look to find them, so again, it's doubtful that any of you have ever even seen one. I have a few in my basement.

Oh, and I can't mention any of this without a nod to Hellespointia Guirardia Double Stout Heniey Ale. This is the recipe that is created when the process used to make Guiness succeeds. Most people only get the failed recipes, which is distributed as Guiness and appreciated by lemmings who don't any better. The real stuff is distributed only in miniature wooden casks. Just so you know.


+1

 
Jewronimo 2009-05-03 11:40:31 AM  
Drew was last seen running from store to store hoarding beer...

 
Psychotropic 2009-05-03 11:42:26 AM  
I only drink cheap whiskey that comes in plastic bottles.

 
Bohemian 2009-05-03 11:53:51 AM  
Kegs, glass mugs and returnable long necks. Self sustaining system. Throw away beer bottles are stupid and wasteful.

 
2wolves 2009-05-03 11:59:40 AM  
PocletNinja

Those are all so last week.

 
AhISeeWhatYouDidThere 2009-05-03 12:00:34 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

A close second is this ale I discovered on a remote island south of the Phillipines. It's called Los Scrantosia Tilaphagiata de Tiamata, or "Tiamat" to the locals. Amazing stuff. Fiery on the tongue but chocolaty on the throat. It's distributed only in bottles that wash up on shore...when a bottle arrives, it's filled, then thrown back to sea. You have to really look to find them, so again, it's doubtful that any of you have ever even seen one. I have a few in my basement.

Oh, and I can't mention any of this without a nod to Hellespointia Guirardia Double Stout Heniey Ale. This is the recipe that is created when the process used to make Guiness succeeds. Most people only get the failed recipes, which is distributed as Guiness and appreciated by lemmings who don't any better. The real stuff is distributed only in miniature wooden casks. Just so you know.


My day is made. Going back to bed now.

 
Brown Sauce 2009-05-03 12:01:04 PM  
www.thebrewsite.com

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 12:09:10 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

A close second is this ale I discovered on a remote island south of the Phillipines. It's called Los Scrantosia Tilaphagiata de Tiamata, or "Tiamat" to the locals. Amazing stuff. Fiery on the tongue but chocolaty on the throat. It's distributed only in bottles that wash up on shore...when a bottle arrives, it's filled, then thrown back to sea. You have to really look to find them, so again, it's doubtful that any of you have ever even seen one. I have a few in my basement.

Oh, and I can't mention any of this without a nod to Hellespointia Guirardia Double Stout Heniey Ale. This is the recipe that is created when the process used to make Guiness succeeds. Most people only get the failed recipes, which is distributed as Guiness and appreciated by lemmings who don't any better. The real stuff is distributed only in miniature wooden casks. Just so you know.


PocketNinja, once again, +1.

 
Hoopy Frood 2009-05-03 12:16:40 PM  
Senator Kennedy has already put in a request to the president to declare it a national disaster area. Which is weird, because senators don't have that power and he's not from there.

 
Pelted with rocks and garbage 2009-05-03 12:23:03 PM  
So, um, whats THAT going to cost us?

 
highlife2 2009-05-03 12:35:41 PM  
Amber bottles? I don't see a problem.
thm-a04.yimg.com

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 12:41:21 PM  
And I thought volunteering to be drafted was a contradiction in terms.

 
craxyd [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 12:44:07 PM  
What happened to the EVERYBODY PANIC thing? If there's an appropriate time to use it, I'd say the time has come.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 12:50:04 PM  
craxyd: What happened to the EVERYBODY PANIC thing? If there's an appropriate time to use it, I'd say the time has come.

It's like the story of the little boy that cried wolf.

 
Dellirium 2009-05-03 12:52:35 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

A close second is this ale I discovered on a remote island south of the Phillipines. It's called Los Scrantosia Tilaphagiata de Tiamata, or "Tiamat" to the locals. Amazing stuff. Fiery on the tongue but chocolaty on the throat. It's distributed only in bottles that wash up on shore...when a bottle arrives, it's filled, then thrown back to sea. You have to really look to find them, so again, it's doubtful that any of you have ever even seen one. I have a few in my basement.

Oh, and I can't mention any of this without a nod to Hellespointia Guirardia Double Stout Heniey Ale. This is the recipe that is created when the process used to make Guiness succeeds. Most people only get the failed recipes, which is distributed as Guiness and appreciated by lemmings who don't any better. The real stuff is distributed only in miniature wooden casks. Just so you know.


Golf clap/

Excellent story.
Would read again..,

 
UnoriginalAndrew 2009-05-03 01:28:31 PM  
I believe Brubaker has a solution to the bottle shortage problem...

 
IANative 2009-05-03 01:32:48 PM  
Jewronimo
Drew was last seen running from store to store hoarding beer...

What did he do after he heard about this news?

 
IANative 2009-05-03 01:43:09 PM  
FTFA:
More than one million pounds of molten glass have spilled from an east-central Indiana company's furnace.

Wonder if it made it to the parking lot?

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 02:08:49 PM  
There's box wine. Why not box beer?

 
Sun God [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 02:13:14 PM  
There is a worldwide hop shortage. Which is a sin against people.

 
bpdisme [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 02:23:24 PM  
Control_this: There's box wine. Why not box beer?
Beer is carbonated, wine is not

 
JBalkwill 2009-05-03 02:27:29 PM  
highlife2: Amber bottles? I don't see a problem. "Light struck beer."

Control_this: There's box wine. Why not box beer? You can get wort in a Bag-in-a-box but never seen carbonated beer in a box, and you probably can't pressurize the bag like you can a keg or bottle.

 
edmo 2009-05-03 02:42:15 PM  
Drive to Texas, pick up empties by the road for an hour, problem solved for six months.

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 03:10:20 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Meh. Bottled beer is for plebes who drink Budweiser. I discovered a new beer the other day, Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock. It's only brewed in a tiny valley behind an abandoned village in Eastern Austria, and then only when the moon is full and the sheep herds are low in the hills. They fill exactly two clay jugs per month, and the waiting list to have one shipped to you is about 40 years long. If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know what beer is. Honestly. But I doubt any of you have.

Pssssh. It figures a loser like you would drink that Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock swill. It's already a favorite of frat boys and "fancy pizza" restaurants. It's right at home next to Michelob Light and Mickey's.

If you really like good beer, you have to go to Sandia National Laboratories. They have a new program where they take molecules of Bavarian hops, put them in an accelerator and bombard them with free fission neutrons until all the impurities are stripped away. Then they culture the hops in an anaerobic solution for exactly 73 hours. These ultra-purified hops are then mixed with Nairobian malt and distilled Irish rainwater and brewed in casks made from the bones of long-dead Czech brewmasters. The resultant beer is unnamed and is delivered only to people with level-5 clearance at Sandia. Each person gets only a thimbleful and I can assure you that it's WORTH IT.

/Hanjekortiakaeyger Doblle Bock? Puh-lease!

 
Dopplganger 2009-05-03 03:11:02 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't liquids measured in volume not weight? After all, glass is a liquid, even more so if it's MOLTEN glass.

 
OnlyM3 2009-05-03 03:24:17 PM  
Dopplganger 2009-05-03 03:11:02 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't liquids measured in volume not weight? After all, glass is a liquid, even more so if it's MOLTEN glass.


Ok. You're wrong:
http://dwb4.unl.edu/Chem/CHEM869A/CHEM869ALinks/www.ualberta.ca/~bderksen/flori n .html

Origin of an Urban Legend?

How did the "glass is a supercooled liquid" urban legend originate? It is possible it began with an erroneous reading of an influential book by Gustav Tammann (1861-1938), a German physicist who was among the first to study glass as a thermodynamic system (Tammann, 1933). I was unable to locate a copy of Tammann's book to verify this, so the following is speculation. One or two papers I consulted attributed to Tammann the statement "Glass is a supercooled [or undercooled] liquid." But, from other papers, it appears that what Tammann actually wrote was "Glass is a frozen supercooled liquid" [my emphasis]. My speculation is that an author misquoted Tammann, and this misquotation was repeated by later authors who, since copies of Tammann's book are rather rare, did not refer directly to Tammann.

Until about 20 years ago supercooling a glass melt was the only way to obtain glass, and the behaviour of melts as they passed through the glass transition (i.e., solidified) was very different from crystallization. But solid-state physics was almost entirely based on the study of crystalline solids, which made the behaviour of glass melts appear paradoxal. To emphasize this a professor would state "Glass is a liquid which has lost the ability to flow", and some undergraduate, with his mind more on the Friday night date than on the physics of glass, would remember only "glass is a liquid"... Perhaps now we can finally put this legend to its well-deserved rest.


http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/General/Glass/glass.html
Is glass liquid or solid?

It is sometimes said that glass in very old churches is thicker at the bottom than at the top because glass is a liquid, and so over several centuries it has flowed towards the bottom. This is not true.

 
JBalkwill 2009-05-03 03:45:15 PM  
Dopplganger: Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't liquids measured in volume not weight? After all, glass is a liquid, even more so if it's MOLTEN glass.

Glass isn't a liquid, it's an amorphous solid and many liquids are measured in weight, like the alcohol in an american bottle of beer being measured as a % of the weight ABW VS ABV. 10 pounds of water at 0 degrees is the same as 10 pounds of water at room temperature.

 
Steigen 2009-05-03 03:48:15 PM  
meh
My beer goes straight from the fermenter to 5 gallon corny kegs in a kegerator.

I pity any beer lover that isn't equally prepared for the forthcoming beer-pocalypse.

 
endmile 2009-05-03 04:28:30 PM  
Dopplganger: Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't liquids measured in volume not weight? After all, glass is a liquid, even more so if it's MOLTEN glass.

It's around 50-60 thousand gallons. You're correct in thinking that liquids are usually measured by volume. However, glass is often sold by weight, and that's probably how the company thinks about it since they estimate their loss according to how much profit they lose. Still, even though it's molten glass, it has extremely high viscosity. It's just soft enough to pour into molds.

 
Ow My Balls 2009-05-03 07:34:13 PM  
Tiny Dunkirk, IN makes the news! Oh, and I like beer a lot, too.

/used to write Murder Mysteries at a friend's house there 16 years ago
//Ball State U!

 
DeathByUngaBunga 2009-05-03 08:44:11 PM  
IANative: FTFA:
More than one million pounds of molten glass have spilled from an east-central Indiana company's furnace.

Wonder if it made it to the parking lot?


Left satisfied.

 
hng [TotalFark] 2009-05-03 10:05:27 PM  
Drink Omegang. Their bottles are imported from France.

 
wintremute 2009-05-04 10:18:08 AM  
pyleoflist.com

It comes in bottles too?

 
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