I was on the phone at work yesterday and the guy I was speaking with started coughing. I heard the whole thing. What should I do to reduce my risk?

no "everybody panic"?

Aren't those airports less than an hour away from each other anyway?

These are the last days of commercial flights, aren't they?.

/Soon they'll be reserved only for the rich
//Again

Airport spokesman Phil Orlandella says United Airlines Flight 903 landed in Boston early Friday afternoon after a 53-year-old female passenger reported her symptoms.

He says the woman was checked at Massachusetts General Hospital and the flight continued to Washington Dulles International Airport.


She just didn't want to take her connecting flight back to Boston - what a clever ruse.

For the last time I was not trying to divert the plane. The hemmaroids burned and the cast had ice.

cart

Anyone have a link to the crapping-on-the-bev-cart article? I missed that one.

"pooping on beverage cart to divert plane"

So, you're familiar with my work?

I hope a bunch of those passengers raise hell about it.

They probably won't though. They're probably caught up in the media "aaaaaaggh we're all gonna die" hype. Hell I bet most of them thanked the airline for saving their lives. Goddamn people are farking stupid.

ShannonKW: Anyone have a link to the crapping-on-the-bev-cart article? I missed that one.

One guy had to climb around one to get to the crapper but he made it.

Me, I love having to crap on the plane. My morning doesn't start until I've had coffee. No coffee until noon? No morning dump. If I had to fly I'd wait until we were cruising at 30k then I'd swig coffee. The offending dump would force the airline to redirect the flight and scrap the plane.

/probably has something living in my colon

honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

Sometimes the old ways are best.

Poop A La Carte

eqtworld: I got your flu like symptoms right here

*points at crotch*

He's got your flu like symptoms right there.

*points at equtworld's crotch*

Nakito: I was on the phone at work yesterday and the guy I was speaking with started coughing. I heard the whole thing. What should I do to reduce my risk?

Sanitize the phone by running it through the dishwasher, and then when it's dry, set it on fire.

It's the only way to be sure.

Doctor Funkenstein 2009-05-02 02:03:15 PM
eqtworld: I got your flu like symptoms right here

*points at crotch*

He's got your flu like symptoms right there.

*points at equtworld's crotch*

i hate it when i look because someone points, and its a crotch. dammit.

Nakito: I was on the phone at work yesterday and the guy I was speaking with started coughing. I heard the whole thing. What should I do to reduce my risk?

Nuke it in the microwave, it's the only way to be sure

PeriRies: Sanitize the phone by running it through the dishwasher, and then when it's dry, set it on fire.

HappyDeth: Nuke it in the microwave, it's the only way to be sure

Wow. If that's what you have to do to sanitize a phone, just imagine what would be required to sanitize equtworld's crotch. I'm guessing some kind of hyper-advanced alien technology. You know, whatever they use to clean up the probes afterwards.

castufari: The offending dump would force the airline to ... scrap the plane.



Depends on the airline. I bet Delta wouldn't even clean it, let alone scrap it.

Nakito: I was on the phone at work yesterday and the guy I was speaking with started coughing. I heard the whole thing. What should I do to reduce my risk?


if something kills viruses through the phone, this stuff'll probably do it.

Nakito: I was on the phone at work yesterday and the guy I was speaking with started coughing. I heard the whole thing. What should I do to reduce my risk?

You need to jab out your eardrums with a pencil. This prevents the flu cells from resonating back out of your ear canals where they might get breathed in.

thereisnospoon: honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

But if she showed symptoms on the plane, that means she was already contagious. All the passengers were breathing the same recycled air, which means all the passengers and crew were exposed prior to the landing. I don't see the point of setting down just for her, unless she was about to die.

feanturi: You need to jab out your eardrums with a pencil. This prevents the flu cells from resonating back out of your ear canals where they might get breathed in.

What? WHAT?

thereisnospoon: honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

If you were going to catch it off of her, you would've already caught it by then

thereisnospoon: honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

Well, no one wants to fly with someone who is sick, but shortening the flight by a whopping hour isn't going to change anything for anyone.

And there are so many things that cause "flu like symptoms" that aren't the flu. Food poisoning or a bad hangover come to mind right off the bat. Hell, even an ear infection can give you a fever and make you nauseous if you've got vertigo.

ShannonKW: Anyone have a link to the crapping-on-the-bev-cart article? I missed that one.
That happened way back in the 90's. It was a Northwest flight I think.

abigsmurf: thereisnospoon: honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

If you were going to catch it off of her, you would've already caught it by then

Exactly, lets cut off the last hour off a twelve hour flight.

pisceandreamer: thereisnospoon: honestly, i think she did the right thing. i think the whole "pandemic" thing is a joke, but i wouldnt want to be on a plane with a person with a regular flu if i knew they had it. gross.

Well, no one wants to fly with someone who is sick, but shortening the flight by a whopping hour isn't going to change anything for anyone.

And there are so many things that cause "flu like symptoms" that aren't the flu. Food poisoning or a bad hangover come to mind right off the bat. Hell, even an ear infection can give you a fever and make you nauseous if you've got vertigo.

How about being overweight, and cramped inside a tight seat with recirculating air for 12 hours? Would that cause a slight fever, sweating and coughing?

Considering how stupidly panicked everyone is right now, im surprised the old hag wasnt ejected from the plane mid-flight.

First-class defacation

Now, I've been on the long flight from Buenos Aires to the USA, and it's no treat, but we now see that passengers are coming-up to first class to crap on the beverage cart. Gerard Finneran, a coach passenger on a long flight from Argentina, walked to to First Class, to say "hi" and take a dump on the beverage cart:

"[he] then walked up to the first-class cabin, dropped his pants and defecated on a service cart in plain view of the passengers and crew.

Then he stepped in his own feces and tracked it through the main cabin".

Finneran was parodied in David Letterman with his own top-10 list:

"Gerard Finneran Excuses":

10. Misread brochure about advantages of first class
9. Confused when steward asked for headset deposit
8. Went nuts after learning they were out of chicken almondine
7. Though he heard somebody yell, "We're going to crash!" and that was just something he always wanted to do before he died
6. Hoping to impress aloof blonde English woman in 2-D
5. Had already used airphone to call everyone he knew
4. You try drinking for 14 hours and see if you can tell the difference between a food cart and a bathroom
3. All part of an elaborate plan to intimidate the real killers
2. His ass wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment
1. "Oh, like you've never done it"

What's with this trend? It reminds me of the renowned joke, "The Aristocrats", where the goal of the joke-teller is show how many revolting acts they can describe.

Link (new window)

poops coming out

NYRBill: no "everybody panicpandemic"?

fify

http://doihaveswineflu.org/ (new window)

dreaddydave: http://doihaveswineflu.org/ (new window)

SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.

I think I would have to have (stomach) flu-like symptoms to even consider pooping on a beverage cart. Even then it would probably be because it was blocking the way to the crapper.

Morons... LOL, if she really had it and was contagious then everyone on the plane was already exposed. They should have either quarantined the whole plane or not worried about it at all.

In effect what they did was contaminate both Boston and DC. In DC they offloaded a whole plane-load of potentially infected people into the general population. Good job.

Personally I think they shouldn't have done anything at all. Seriously, bacon-flu is just not that widespread and seems weak at this point anyway. If it's going to get stronger later then there is nothing we can do about that anyway.

trixter_nl: "everybody pandemic"?

fify

thanks ;-)

How is this remotely interesting? It should have the "stupid" tag. Re-routing a plane after everyone has been exposed? STUPID.

vodka: Morons... LOL, if she really had it and was contagious then everyone on the plane was already exposed. They should have either quarantined the whole plane or not worried about it at all.

In effect what they did was contaminate both Boston and DC. In DC they offloaded a whole plane-load of potentially infected people into the general population. Good job.

Personally I think they shouldn't have done anything at all. Seriously, bacon-flu is just not that widespread and seems weak at this point anyway. If it's going to get stronger later then there is nothing we can do about that anyway.

Plus, if it's going to get stronger later, YOU WANT TO CATCH IT NOW.

The mooninites gave it to her

Englebert Slaptyback:


She just didn't want to take her connecting flight back to Boston - what a clever ruse.


You win 1 interwebs, people try shiat like that all the time. Woman checking in yesterday didnt understand why she couldnt use the return portion of a ticket that was in someone elses name.

a lot of airlines started charging the passenger for the diversions unless it was really legit. in this case she'll probably get away with it but the people who cause problems onboard and cause a diversion get s nice bill (about $100k)for all of the charges the airline incurs as a result of the diverted flight, fuel, landing fees, crew pay, missed connections etc. along with federal fines for interfearing with a flight crew (felony and $25k fine)