Well, I admire his optimism.

It might not.

I mean, if he's since been Born Again and Saved, then his past sins only amplify his current righteousness.

I don't care what his beliefs are or what his platform is, he's getting my vote. MULEFARKER IN '12

All he has to do is repeat politico-religionist wharrgarbl and he's a shoe-in. It's not whether you live it, it's whether you say it

.

I just assume all our politicians have had sex with a farm animal at some point

It didn't hurt Matthew Brodericks career.

Well, God did give Man dominion over all the beasts that roam the land.

Neal Horsley. HORSE-LY.

Wonder if his wife's name is Molly or Jenny.

This guy straight up brags about banging other dudes and a watermellon. That is TMI dude, TMI.

I'd tap that Ass.

NewportBarGuy: I'd tap that Ass.

NewportBarGuy: I'd tap that Ass.

That's not an ass, it's a mule!

Ba-dum *ching*

impressed!

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

Colmes said he thought there were a lot of people in the audience who grew up on farms, are living on farms now, raising kids on farms and "and I don't think they are dating Elsie right now. You know what I'm saying?"

Horsley said, "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

this clears up a lot of things for me about rural conservatives that think east coast liberals are "so far removed from reality."

Sheep lie.

oldernell: Sheep lie.

BAAAAAAAAAAAA means Yes

Is it okay if he had just nose-farked the horse?

I mean, come on! How many of us haven't found themselves driving along a deserted country lane, feeling horny and thinking "a nice velvety nostril might do the trick?"

In some states, having sex with a mule is more acceptable than having sex with another man. Yay for religion.

Why the long face?

oldernell: Sheep lie.

Yeah but those little farkers don't squeal.

Epsilon: In some states, having sex with a mule is more acceptable than having sex with another man. Yay for religion.

While that may be true, this guy did both.

Inasmuch as the mule was not in an adjacent stall, or his meth dealer, or an underaged page, this is inappropriate conduct for a politician.

I just home his opponent isn't Ali G.

/obscure? not on fark

Ken at Popehat: Inasmuch as the mule was not in an adjacent stall, or his meth dealer, or an underaged page, this is inappropriate conduct for a politician.

Full of Win

yes, and someone on the daily show screwed a meatball parm, and he still has a career. such hypocrisy.

do you need help... bear mule farker?

Agent Nick Fury: It didn't hurt Matthew Brodericks career.

Winner!

proteus_b: yes, and someone on the daily show screwed a meatball parm, and he still has a career. such hypocrisy.

that was one of the funniest gags they've done on that show in a while.

Seems like, as a Republican, he should be banging elephants instead.

/obligatory
//hotter than mule sex

jso2897: Seems like, as a Republican, he should be banging elephants instead.

Nope. Mr. Horsely is a member, as stated in TFA, of the Creator's Rights Party. (new window, possibly NSFW in parts). It appears to be a single-issue party focused on abortion policy.

skinnycatullus: oldernell: Sheep lie.

Yeah but those little farkers don't squeal.

You mean like pigs?

Not that I would know....

So if he wasn't bragging about screwing a mule no one would have ever heard of him right? And his wife left him because of all the drama?

I'm sure everyone that meets this guy refers to him as "the worst habitual liar I've ever met".

There are easier ways to be the center of attention dumbass.

Somacandra:
jso2897: Seems like, as a Republican, he should be banging elephants instead.

Nope. Mr. Horsely is a member, as stated in TFA, of the Creator's Rights Party. (new window, possibly NSFW in parts). It appears to be a single-issue party focused on abortion policy.

They always have the secession from the union angle too and his director of security seems to be a dog. I wonder if he farked the dog too. It almost makes me feel sorry for Georgia. It seems like this guy is just trying too hard to match the crazy in Florida all on his own.

Heh heh heh, mule.

/Not obscure.

FTFA:"I've [screwed] a watermelon," he says. And that's just for starters. He's had sex with just about everything it's physically possible to have sex with, and some that isn't. "How many times have I masturbated in my life?" he asks. Now he's 65 and orgasm-free for two years (his wife finally divorced him -- too much "drama", she said). "The bottom line is, I never treated it as if it were not a sin."

Greatest article ever.

Neal Horsley

This is satire..right?

WAT

Is the mule... Is the man...?

2005 Fark thread about this guy:
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=1477745

limeyfellow: They always have the secession from the union angle too and his director of security seems to be a dog. I wonder if he farked the dog too. It almost makes me feel sorry for Georgia. It seems like this guy is just trying too hard to match the crazy in Florida all on his own.

So you've actually heard of these guys? There's actually multiple human members of society who identify with this political party other than Mr. Horsely?

Why do Republicans only rape mules? Because they never need abortions.

This is why I hate living in Georgia. I've sadly lived here my entire life, and never claimed this state as my own. It's full of, and run by morons.

I'm always joyed when people think I'm from out of state because I don't have a hillbilly accent.

/fark georgia.

My coworker's on the phone and I keep trying not to bust out laughing.

A man named Horsley. How do you not see that coming?

Well, I guess if you put blinders on the mule, sure.

Somacandra: jso2897: Seems like, as a Republican, he should be banging elephants instead.

Nope. Mr. Horsely is a member, as stated in TFA, of the Creator's Rights Party. (new window, possibly NSFW in parts). It appears to be a single-issue party focused on abortion policy.

Well, then, he should be banging The Creator. You can't win with me, son - in my world, it's turtles all the way down.

At least it wasn't a dead dog.

Or a picnic table.

krelborne: 2005 Fark thread about this guy:
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=1477745

Some hilarious stuff in that thread.

My fave:

fatcracker1984usa 2005-05-09 02:22:02 PM
Yet another boring typical blue stater idiots cheap shot against southerners and christians by saying we are all animal-farkers and inbreds.
Keep it up, see how many elections you win with that attitude.
When will you libs figure out, you can mock us all you want, but you democrats are the minority, and the more cheap shots you take against OUR country, and OUR religion, the more you will alianate yourselves from any hope of ever winning another election.

We will enjoy our religion AND our freedom, you can enjoy your inbreeding jokes and animal sex jokes.
Fair enough.
US=4 more years
LIB'S=4 more "i hate the south" jokes....
fair enough for me, idiots.

jso2897: in my world, it's turtles all the way down.

Or, as Horsley calls it, a Holy Orgy.