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(AP) Scary Old and busted: Salmonella-tainted peanuts. New Hotness: Swine-flu tainted pork   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 154
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flucto [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 12:44:54 PM  
I wonder whether you could vaccinate yourself by eating the cooked virus?

 
robomonkster [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 12:48:05 PM  
B...b...b...bacon!

Kinda makes you miss mad cow. I would gladly trade a bacon cheeseburger for a bacon cheesebaconer.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-04-26 12:48:42 PM  
I was totally cool with peanut butter. I was even cool with tomatoes. But I get all stabby when you start messing with my pork products. I didn't mean it literally when I said, "You'll get my pork loin chops when you pry them from my cold, dead hands."

 
LadyHawke [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 12:59:54 PM  
Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

 
Cake Hunter [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:02:37 PM  
LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis

 
robomonkster [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:07:38 PM  
Cake Hunter: koalaiosis

I think I have this. I've been told my breath smells of marsupial.

 
fuzzwell [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:09:49 PM  
If this gets bad, I'll just stay here at the house and not go anywhere for a month or two until it's over.

Hell, maybe I'll stay here for a year.

Don't come over.

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:20:55 PM  
I thought there were no known cases of getting it from eating swine-flu pork?

fuzzwell: If this gets bad, I'll just stay here at the house and not go anywhere for a month or two until it's over.

Hell, maybe I'll stay here for a year.

Don't come over.


Put on a mask and gloves. Tada!

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:32:16 PM  
Well, if you kept the peanuts away from the taint, they wouldn't have salmonella.

 
mikemoto [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:40:47 PM  
Eat kosher.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 01:41:23 PM  
GreenAdder: Well, if you kept the peanuts away from the taint, they wouldn't have salmonella.

I didn't know Salmonella had taint. It must be right below the flagellum.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 03:38:47 PM  
Can people catch swine flu from eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. You can not get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:04:42 PM  
img264.imageshack.us

DAMN YOU, BACON! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

 
UrinalPooper 2009-04-26 04:06:24 PM  
ninjakirby: Can people catch swine flu from eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. You can not get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.


I guess I won't eat that leftover pork tartar from last week...

 
CTaylor80 [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:08:01 PM  
FTFA: as global health officials considered whether to raise the global pandemic alert level


Let's see . . . something something something Madagascar.

/something something shut down everything.
//I believe that covers the waterfront.

 
GreaserKitten 2009-04-26 04:08:30 PM  
This could be a good way to decrease the size of Americans. If you take away their pork, that's one less thing to eat.

/Eats pork
//Not fat

 
eggi541 2009-04-26 04:09:13 PM  
Naturally, because the government claims there is nothing to fear from pork cooked properly, we should all don our tin foil hats as we bbq our pork products.

 
whizbang [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:09:37 PM  
I have a feeling we're not eating traif from Mexico, California, Texas and Kansas anymore.

 
Nakito 2009-04-26 04:10:30 PM  
La sa fa ral de ray.

 
Andralynn 2009-04-26 04:10:52 PM  
I bet it still tastes damned tasty.

ninjakirby: Can people catch swine flu from eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. You can not get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.


It barred repeating ;)

 
RocketFood 2009-04-26 04:13:23 PM  
20 U.S. cases of swine flu in five states so far

HOLY SHIAT, A WHOLE TWENTY PEOPLE!! THE END IS NIGH!!!

Let me know when it's 200,000 cases and then maybe I'll care.

 
SuperMilk 2009-04-26 04:16:23 PM  
RocketFood: 20 U.S. cases of swine flu in five states so far

HOLY SHIAT, A WHOLE TWENTY PEOPLE!! THE END IS NIGH!!!

Let me know when it's 200,000 cases and then maybe I'll care.


Good call. first it was SARS, the Bird Flu...now Swine Flu!

gimme a break

 
smcn 2009-04-26 04:16:49 PM  
Cake Hunter: LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis


spontaneous lemuritis

 
Funk Brothers 2009-04-26 04:20:11 PM  
I ate a hot dog on Friday.

 
SunDropLvr 2009-04-26 04:20:21 PM  
smcn: Cake Hunter: LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis

spontaneous lemuritis


That's the worst kind...

 
Steed Lankershim 2009-04-26 04:20:30 PM  
If I go to MickyDs tomorrow and I can't get a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit I might be forced over the edge and I will not be responsible for my actions.

 
I_Can't_Believe_It's_Not_Smegma 2009-04-26 04:21:58 PM  
I work in the ER. Last night we must of had 50 people who came in(two by ambulance)because because they had a)a headache b) a cough c)a stuffy nose d)a temperature greater than 98.7 or e) were Vicodin deficient. All of who thought they were dying of this pig flu. Of the 50, 42 of them were on welfare, while the other 8 were to lazy to apply and will just ignore the bill anyway.

If.... and this as a big if, this turns into a pandemic the ones who will be the sickest are those with insurance (because they have pay a hefty deductible out of pocket, while the dirtbags will continue to abuse the system.

 
Steed Lankershim 2009-04-26 04:22:04 PM  
SunDropLvr: smcn: Cake Hunter: LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis

spontaneous lemuritis

That's the worst kind...


armadilloplacia is nothing to sneeze at.

 
odinsposse 2009-04-26 04:23:39 PM  
Funk Brothers: I ate a hot dog on Friday.

Can I have your stuff?

 
smcn 2009-04-26 04:23:44 PM  
Steed Lankershim: SunDropLvr: smcn: Cake Hunter: LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis

spontaneous lemuritis

That's the worst kind...

armadilloplacia is nothing to sneeze at.


then there's the explosive rhinorrhea!

 
thesubliminalman 2009-04-26 04:24:24 PM  
Havent found any peanut pictures but as a public service here is what a bad hotdog may look like.
blog.wfmu.org

 
stevarooni 2009-04-26 04:25:14 PM  
Nobody suspects tabbynilla until it's too late.

 
SunDropLvr 2009-04-26 04:25:18 PM  
Steed Lankershim: SunDropLvr: smcn: Cake Hunter: LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

monkeybutt tremors, toucan spleenburst, koalaiosis

spontaneous lemuritis

That's the worst kind...

armadilloplacia is nothing to sneeze at.


I guess you're right. Spiderbifida is pretty bad, also.

 
Sue Dunham 2009-04-26 04:28:32 PM  
RocketFood: 20 U.S. cases of swine flu in five states so far

HOLY SHIAT, A WHOLE TWENTY PEOPLE!! THE END IS NIGH!!!

Let me know when it's 200,000 cases and then maybe I'll care.


By the time it's 200,00 cases it's way too late.
The official agencies are acting responsibly on this. SOP is to isolate and evaluate.
The news media are panic mongering of course.
That said, only the Mexican cases seem to be fatal.
One of the best things you can do to prevent the spread of disease is to wash your hands.
Thoroughly
Here's how.

Proper hand washing with soap and water.

Wet your hands with warm, running water and apply liquid soap or use clean bar soap. Lather well.
Rub your hands vigorously together for at least 15 to 20 seconds.
Scrub all surfaces, including the backs of your hands, wrists, between your fingers and under your fingernails.
Rinse well.
Dry your hands with a clean or disposable towel.
Use a towel to turn off the faucet.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:32:33 PM  
Please don't sat BACON!!!

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:33:47 PM  
SAY

 
killiemary 2009-04-26 04:36:08 PM  
"....said Keiji Fukuda, WHO's assistant director-general in charge of health security."

/:)

 
Steed Lankershim 2009-04-26 04:37:04 PM  
Sue Dunham: Let me know when it's 200,000 cases and then maybe I'll care.

What if your one of the 200,000?

 
Seraphim84 2009-04-26 04:37:13 PM  
It's good to be Jewish.

...Okay, that's not true, I probably eat more bacon than the lot of you.

/with cheese
//and bottom-feeders

 
Phlem Pickens 2009-04-26 04:39:35 PM  
LadyHawke: Am I the only one who is amused that every potential pandemic is named after an animal? Mad cow disease... bird flu... swine flu...

Gay Peacock is a terrible disease.

 
OldRod 2009-04-26 04:39:54 PM  
I hate this... I live in Kansas. Friday night, my son and I both came down sick with the flu. As we're lying around recovering yesterday, all I saw on the news was "Swine flu", and guess what... 2 confirmed cases in Kansas.

I'm pretty sure we didn't have it, but it's really unnerving to be sick in bed and see this on the news 24/7.

 
agoratrader 2009-04-26 04:40:03 PM  
Well after the whole banking crisis the Jews could use a good laugh.

 
FiatJustitia 2009-04-26 04:40:12 PM  
I can't believe no one's posted this yet...

img143.imageshack.us

 
InuNoTaisho 2009-04-26 04:40:42 PM  
CTaylor80: Let's see . . . something something something Madagascar.

Whew - thought everyone had forgotten to make a Madagascar reference.

 
UnkoPatrol [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:42:07 PM  
Well let's see, we've got beef, poultry, swine covered? What could be next?
www.cafemed1.com
/Oh the hot gyro horror!

 
agoratrader 2009-04-26 04:42:52 PM  
Funk Brothers: I ate a hot dog on Friday.

Don't worry that was chicken knees, squirrel head cheese, and cow elbows. You're safe.

 
mreuther 2009-04-26 04:44:35 PM  
My life for you!

 
Desquamation 2009-04-26 04:45:43 PM  
SuperMilk: RocketFood: 20 U.S. cases of swine flu in five states so far

HOLY SHIAT, A WHOLE TWENTY PEOPLE!! THE END IS NIGH!!!

Let me know when it's 200,000 cases and then maybe I'll care.

Good call. first it was SARS, the Bird Flu...now Swine Flu!

gimme a break


I'm holding out for African Rabies... Once that shiat hits then I'll panic.

 
Ryker's Peninsula 2009-04-26 04:48:49 PM  
Chimpanzee Acne
Moose Bumps

 
WTFDYW [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 04:48:59 PM  
We will all die when the elephantamosis takes hold

/BEWARE

 
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