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(Fox News) Cool Pirates attack Italian cruise ship, repelled by Jewish ninjas   (foxnews.com) divider line 244
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244 Comments   (+0 »)


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Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:37:25 AM  
Last week episode of South Park was fantastic. Yes, turns out Cartman + Pirates + Somalia was, in fact, as good as it could be.

 
qualopec [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:59:53 AM  
Jews are the chosen commandos.

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:25:04 AM  
I want a funny little Jewish Ninja (la la la)
In black head-to-toe, she make my pee pee to grow
A nasty little Jewish Ninja
To specifically happen, with her sword she decappin'
For pirate firefiiiiiiights
Won't someone send me a Ninja that bites?
(ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee hee)

I want a horny little Jewish Ninja
With tabi-boot covered toes, and spikes that she throws
A dainty little Jewish Ninja (hai-YO!)
Who don't know shiat about cooking, and is murderous looking.
I don't want no goyyyyy
I just want me a Ninja to hold...


/thank you, Frank

 
desertmouse [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:31:05 AM  
So does the "red alert" siren sound off to warn the crew and passengers when they are under attack? Because if there were more Trek features on cruise ships, I might just have to give one a try some day.

Actually that wouldn't be such a bad idea... Trek cruise ship NCC-1701. You would float around the ocean visiting strange lands, Whoopie could be the bartender, there could be a real ship's counselor to visit. Maybe Wil Wheaton could walk around as a guest celebrity wearing his clown sweater. The sheer awesomeness of this idea must be explored further.

/O.K., no Whoopie, but maybe a simulated klingon attack or two

 
McManus_brothers [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:35:24 AM  
Well, to be fair, they do have experience in this sort of thing (pops like a machine gun).

 
dracula 2009-04-26 10:38:55 AM  
No ninjew picture yet? Gah!

 
Mart Laar's beard shaver 2009-04-26 10:39:34 AM  
Tatsuma: Last week episode of South Park was fantastic. Yes, turns out Cartman + Pirates + Somalia was, in fact, as good as it could be.

Yeah, that was the best South Park in awhile. Even the stinkers "'Space Cash' and 'not Finland!" have their moments, but that one was LOL from start to end.

"... so being a French vessel they surrendered immediately!"

 
tukatz [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:42:15 AM  
There are a lot of Blackwater employees looking for a job right now. And it would be cheaper than paying these ridiculous ransoms.

 
matto14 2009-04-26 10:42:18 AM  
media.southparkstudios.com

yay butters!!

 
NYZooMan 2009-04-26 10:44:06 AM  
A great big THANKS! to every scumbag country that paid ransom in the past making it more profitable and attractive to more pirates.

 
Old Man from scene 24 2009-04-26 10:45:21 AM  
img12.imageshack.us

 
StoneColdAtheist 2009-04-26 10:46:03 AM  
I was going to submit this with: Ninjews 1 Somali Pirates 0

Then checked here first... ;(

 
Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:46:53 AM  
Mart Laar's beard shaver: "... so being a French vessel they surrendered immediately!"

We drink and we pillage and we do what we please
We get all that we want for free
We'll kick your ass
And rape your lass
Somalian pirates we

So with a yo ho ho
And with a yee hee hee
We take to the African sea
We'll brave the squalls

And bust your balls
Somalian pirates we

We left our homes and we left our mothers
To go on a pillaging spree
We'll cut off your ears
And break your toes

And make you drink our pee
And if you sail into our waters
You best hear this decree
We'll take your boat
Set your ass afloat

Somalian pirates we

With a yo ho ho (yo ho ho)
And a tricky lah-tee do (tricky lah-tee do)
We'll shoot you in the face with glee
Then we'll cut off your cock
And feed it to a croc

Somalian pirates we

 
xalres 2009-04-26 10:47:11 AM  
Mart Laar's beard shaver:

"... so being a French vessel they surrendered immediately!"


What's funny is the French have been more badass in capturing pirates than most.

 
berylman 2009-04-26 10:49:05 AM  
It is rather nifty how pirates seem to be discernible from civilians compared to terrorists... with the eyepatch, parrot, peg-leg and all.

 
MilitaryTigger 2009-04-26 10:49:26 AM  
Jewish Ninja?

webpages.charter.net

 
weirdneighbour 2009-04-26 10:49:41 AM  
'bomb the (pirate)boat, feed the fish'

 
Bartman66 2009-04-26 10:53:18 AM  
They went ready for them Lox stock and barrel!

 
daffy 2009-04-26 10:53:55 AM  
It is so amazing how the US is the only country that can handle tis problem itself. At least Italy was smart enough to hire experts to deal with it. They should carry guns that can sink little speedboats. Let's see if pirates can swim!

Southpark was soooo cooool!

 
RandomNed 2009-04-26 10:54:54 AM  
You guys are slippin'

catharsiscorner.files.wordpress.com
/soooo hot.

 
mark12A 2009-04-26 10:54:58 AM  
So does the "red alert" siren sound off to warn the crew and passengers when they are under attack? Because if there were more Trek features on cruise ships, I might just have to give one a try some day.

It mystifies me that nobody has redecorated an entire hotel interior (or ship) to look like a Star Trek interior (the Las Vegas Trek Experience was just part of a hotel). I did it with my "Starship Stateroom" bedroom at home, it's really cheap to do, and it would attract hordes of Techs/Geeks/Trekers sorts.

 
daffy 2009-04-26 10:58:44 AM  
Bartman66: They went ready for them Lox stock and barrel!

Great! href="http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4351720&IDComment=50598131#c505 98131" target="_blank">RandomNed: You guys are slippin'


/soooo hot.


Even better. This could go on all day!

 
StoneColdAtheist 2009-04-26 10:59:22 AM  
Okay, the ninjews pulled it off unaided this time, but since this all went down on Caturday, I'll bet this lil' guy was in reserve up on the poop deck. :)

1.bp.blogspot.com

/hawt

 
TroyMclure 2009-04-26 11:01:12 AM  
media.ebaumsworld.com

 
jayday 2009-04-26 11:03:27 AM  
Jewish Ninja.....

Hanukkatana???

 
Sylviana 2009-04-26 11:03:35 AM  
Came for Jew-Jitsu, leaving content.

 
gruffgoat 2009-04-26 11:06:57 AM  
www.theage.com.au

available for comment?

 
daffy 2009-04-26 11:07:17 AM  
StoneColdAtheist: Okay, the ninjews pulled it off unaided this time, but since this all went down on Caturday, I'll bet this lil' guy was in reserve up on the poop deck. :)



/hawt


Ok unfair use of cuteness!

 
styckx [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 11:09:30 AM  
6 Vs 1500. These pirates are either on heavy amounts of LSD and playing the A-Team theme song as they approached this ship or they are really really stupid people.

 
MrGuy 2009-04-26 11:09:36 AM  
Another Italian-owned vessel remains in the hands of pirates. The Italian-flagged tugboat Buccaneer was seized off Somalia on April 11 with 16 crew members aboard.

Bwahahahah! They're doing it wrong!

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 11:11:32 AM  
So,

Jews and the French, and leftist socialist US Presidents all hate "black teenagers"

/got it

 
British 2009-04-26 11:11:46 AM  
but,but,but it's illegal to have arms on nonmilitary ships!

Italian cruise liner: You're doing it right.

//they messed with the zohan.

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-04-26 11:14:11 AM  
I loved this line from the article:

"Cruise line security work is a popular job for young Israelis who have recently been discharged from mandatory army service, as it is a good chance to save money and travel"

Westerners like to teach English overseas to travel and make money.

Israelis do it by KILLING PEOPLE.

 
james_bong 2009-04-26 11:15:28 AM  
I came in here to make a South Park reference, but it turns out I was beaten to the punch in the Boobies. And I think all of the good ones have been exhausted. So my work here is done.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 11:16:24 AM  
ITALIANS!

I suck
going away now

 
LonMead 2009-04-26 11:17:40 AM  
img.photobucket.com

img169.imageshack.us

 
wademh 2009-04-26 11:21:07 AM  
As a bleeding heart liberal, against capitol punishment, pro gun control, thinks the pirate crisis has roots in poverty and injustice, I am deeply disappointed that apparently none of the pirates were killed.

 
RyunosukeKnT 2009-04-26 11:22:25 AM  
you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?

 
daffy 2009-04-26 11:22:48 AM  
Swampthing in Korea: I loved this line from the article:

"Cruise line security work is a popular job for young Israelis who have recently been discharged from mandatory army service, as it is a good chance to save money and travel"

Westerners like to teach English overseas to travel and make money.

Israelis do it by KILLING PEOPLE.


So, what's wrong with that. They can get jobs seeing the world, meeting new people and killing them. What's wrong with that.

 
Sawatdee 2009-04-26 11:23:49 AM  
you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?


Bad character?

 
shpritz 2009-04-26 11:24:21 AM  
RyunosukeKnT: you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?


Global warming?

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-04-26 11:25:35 AM  
RyunosukeKnT

Ah, another "root causes" lunatic.

Sorry buddy, but sometimes the best solution comes from the barrel of a gun.

 
tuffsnake 2009-04-26 11:25:36 AM  
"Pirates opened fire at the cruise ship for 15 minutes then stopped for no reason,"

theinfosphere.org

/obscure?

 
Tatsuma [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 11:27:26 AM  
daffy: So, what's wrong with that. They can get jobs seeing the world, meeting new people and killing them. What's wrong with that.

img.costumecraze.com
/agrees

 
Nicholas Urfe 2009-04-26 11:27:38 AM  
RyunosukeKnT: you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?


Nobody wants to commit troops to Somalia again to reestablish law and order.

 
cobes 2009-04-26 11:28:37 AM  
shpritz: RyunosukeKnT: you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?

Global warming?


Swine flu?

 
some guy SC 2009-04-26 11:28:39 AM  
RyunosukeKnT: you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?


Didn't we already try that? Black Hawk Down?

 
daffy 2009-04-26 11:29:58 AM  
RyunosukeKnT: you know that did bring up a good point....

instead of fighting the pirates, why not fight what is causing them to pirate in the first place?


Well that took longer than I thought. Poor pirates. I vote we put them out of their misery!

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-04-26 11:30:50 AM  
Tatsuma: daffy: So, what's wrong with that. They can get jobs seeing the world, meeting new people and killing them. What's wrong with that.


/agrees


Actually, the better anaolgy would be the Greeks.

The Romans always operated as part of a governmental structure. The Greeks just hired themselves to anybody.

If you wanna great really obscure, use a picture of a Celt.

 
Puppettron 2009-04-26 11:30:55 AM  
those damned jewish ninjas with their nasty throwing stars of david haunt my nightmares.

 
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