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(News Of The World) Strange Michael Jackson pulls out of renting 28-bedroom mansion for his family on hearing it's haunted. Because you don't want your children staying in a place where they'll have the willies put up them   (newsoftheworld.co.uk) divider line 76
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baka-san [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 07:25:10 AM  
I don't think you can still uses the word "spook" in any reference to jacko anymore...


Am soooo going to hell.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-04-26 07:47:08 AM  
Yeah, but did the place have a balcony, or what?

 
Last One Left [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 07:53:24 AM  
img5.imageshack.us

I LOL'd, subby

 
Archie Goodwin [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 08:27:33 AM  
Any house Jacko stays in is haunted.

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 08:37:45 AM  
I think they knew he'd be in a luxury hotel downtown anyway.

 
Tillmaster 2009-04-26 08:45:44 AM  
Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

 
remus 2009-04-26 08:46:00 AM  
This thread is gonna be a thriller

 
McKeesport Beer Baron 2009-04-26 08:47:29 AM  
FTFA: Jacko intends to use a helicopter to fly to and from 50 dates at the O2 arena in London.
Sounds like 100 good chances to get rid of this freak.
/Hope the pilot survives...

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 08:48:54 AM  
If I was a ghost and saw Michael Jackson coming at me, I'd throw myself into an air conditioner.

 
7bates 2009-04-26 08:50:18 AM  
Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

some of us yanks get it.

 
Vangor [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 08:50:47 AM  
Michael Jackson pulled out not simply because it was haunted, but that meant it was too old.

 
EchoMike [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:01:51 AM  
Michael Jackson pulls out of renting 28-bedroom mansion for his family on hearing it's haunted. Because you don't want your children staying in a place where they'll have the willies put up them

FTFY, subby.

 
bown 2009-04-26 09:07:01 AM  
ummm, isn't he bankrupt?

 
mike_the_engineer 2009-04-26 09:08:54 AM  
www.calculateme.com

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:08:56 AM  
baka-san: I don't think you can still uses the word "spook" in any reference to jacko anymore...


Am soooo going to hell.

Who you callin' "Spook", Peckerwood?

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

 
morrisonsl 2009-04-26 09:14:46 AM  
Child sodomy is the lulz

 
berylman 2009-04-26 09:16:47 AM  
Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

Nothing to add, just wanted to quote some Thriller.

 
stazz 2009-04-26 09:18:21 AM  
7bates: Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

some of us yanks get it.

//// Yanking willie.

 
ttc2301 2009-04-26 09:23:15 AM  
7bates: Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

some of us yanks get it.

Clumsy, but effective, subby. 6/10.

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:25:01 AM  
Jacko has vowed to make the shows his UK finale and has promised a treat for fans.

I'm betting he blows his head off onstage.

 
HighOnLifeAndGlue 2009-04-26 09:27:00 AM  
This headline is to Americans what dentistry is to the English. We just don't get it!

 
Devolving_Spud 2009-04-26 09:29:09 AM  
He pulled out of the deal when he learned his bank account wasn't haunted by enough dead Presidents.

 
planes 2009-04-26 09:30:48 AM  
Dateline 2029: 70 year-old Michael Jackson announced his final farewell tour, and has announced he'll be staying in a van down by the river, hitchhiking to his various concert locations.

 
ttc2301 2009-04-26 09:36:07 AM  
planes: Dateline 2029: 70 year-old Michael Jackson announced his final farewell tour, and has announced he'll be staying in a van down by the river, hitchhiking to his various concert locations.

Cue the picture of the shiatbox red van with 'free candy' written on the side in spray paint.

 
I-baLL 2009-04-26 09:36:16 AM  
Isn't he a Jehovah's Witness? I don't think they believe in ghosts.

 
MmmBadEggs 2009-04-26 09:37:41 AM  
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who you callin' "Spook", Peckerwood?

img205.imageshack.us
"Love that line. Love that line..."

 
Daffydil [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 09:42:12 AM  
That's a bird flipping, Photoshopping pic if I've ever seen one...

 
Forbidden Doughnut 2009-04-26 09:47:56 AM  
I expect one of his kids will write a tell-all,"mommy dearest" type book someday. Should be interesting reading...

/was creeped out by some of the auction items he had for sale recently.

 
skinink 2009-04-26 09:50:17 AM  

I still imagine that in an Alternate Universe, right after Michael Jackson's success with the album "Thriller" he does not have any further plastic surgery done, he is married to a pretty remarkable woman, they have a nice family together and to cap it off 16 years after Thriller he has a successful career in Politics.


Or maybe we are in the Alternate Universe where a previously successful Jacko has many disastrous marriages, molests kids and is the real life version of Dorian Gray's painting.


 
Animatronik 2009-04-26 10:06:22 AM  
Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

The headline would have been so much better if it said "get the willies" instead "have the willies put up them", because sometimes less is more. Which must be what MJ said to his plastic surgeon.

 
daffy 2009-04-26 10:06:54 AM  
He did not pull out because it was haunted. He just could not afford it. I would have done a "pulled out" joke, but I think that was done enough today.

 
daffy 2009-04-26 10:07:56 AM  
Animatronik: Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

The headline would have been so much better if it said "get the willies" instead "have the willies put up them", because sometimes less is more. Which must be what MJ said to his plastic surgeon.

LOLing

 
Gridlock 2009-04-26 10:12:57 AM  
I'm expecting more of the "Southpark" "Michael Jackson moves in" episode references and more of the Southpark "Will Smith moves in" episode references.

 
Blowmonkey [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:13:00 AM  
Nothing says sunday morning like jokes about sodomizing children.

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:16:24 AM  
Has anyone made a Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile joke yet? Cuz those never get old!

 
Shugyosha 2009-04-26 10:22:49 AM  
dead_dangler: Has anyone made a Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile joke yet? Cuz those never get old!

Just the way Jacko likes them!!1

Try the veal.

 
Vangor [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:22:59 AM  
dead_dangler: Has anyone made a Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile joke yet? Cuz those never get old!

What a coincidence. The jokes never get old and neither do his victims.

 
chixdiggit [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:28:33 AM  
I wish Jacko had never gone crazy. I remember how kickass the guy was back in the day. He made awesome music, put out the best video ever (Thriller) and had dance moves that no one could match. Now he's white and practically Pedobear. I miss the 80s.

/OJ was cool back then too

 
dead_dangler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 10:30:21 AM  
Shugyosha: dead_dangler: Has anyone made a Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile joke yet? Cuz those never get old!

Just the way Jacko likes them!!1

Try the veal.

Heh. I LOL'd.

 
NotSoCleverNow 2009-04-26 10:33:17 AM  
dead_dangler: Has anyone made a Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile joke yet? Cuz those never get old!

Actually, they do eventually. Just like the kids.

 
swangoatman 2009-04-26 10:34:04 AM  
no he is a Muslim.. he "aint" been a JW since 1984...just a wierdo who wants controversy. I use aint cause he uses it all the time to show he is just one of the gang..

 
dougfm 2009-04-26 10:38:05 AM  
He was about to pay a £1 million deposit for an an eight-month stay when he was shown a video made by aides and ruled it out

You heard it first, Michael Jackson has aides.

 
clockface_orange 2009-04-26 11:14:52 AM  
Gridlock: I'm expecting more of the "Southpark" "Michael Jackson moves in" episode references and more of the Southpark "Will Smith moves in" episode references.

Mr. Jefferson returns!

Honestly, this needs to be made into an SNL skit, stat.


A&Es Paranormal State investigates Jackos mansion. MJ keeps screaming through "dead time", lots of children around, etc. etc. etc.

You see where im going with this. it practically writes itself.

 
AlanSmithee [TotalFark] 2009-04-26 11:17:46 AM  
Roger on the headline, subby.

 
SpyroChiro 2009-04-26 11:21:59 AM  
EchoMike: Michael Jackson pulls out of renting 28-bedroom mansion for his family on hearing it's haunted. Because you don't want your children staying in a place where they'll have the willies put up them

FTFY, subby.

It's like the Pedophilia DaVinci Code.

 
It's Me Bender 2009-04-26 11:52:58 AM  
www.explosm.net

 
pintoboy 2009-04-26 12:04:02 PM  
Jacko's kids get the willies every night, or at least the boys do. Well perhaps willie in the singular form, and it is white and ghostly looking.

 
HighZoolander [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-26 12:15:31 PM  
7bates: Tillmaster: Brilliant headline, Subby. Some American farkers may not get it, though.

some of us yanks get it.

some of us yanks have been getting it since we were children


/oh wait...

//totally agree with other posters that '...get the willies" would have worked better for the headline, or don't the British get willies?

 
Farkin'round 2009-04-26 12:27:12 PM  
Fark haunted houses. His melting face is enough to traumatize his children.

/those poor kids

 
sumdruncomic 2009-04-26 12:30:43 PM  
"Jacko, 50, said he doesn't want ghosts frightening his children".

Which would be almost as uncomfortable as Michael in a tanning salon.

/here all week
//try the veal.

 
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