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(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Texas residents will now have to pay if they choose to be a dumbass, literally   (chron.com) divider line 129
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2wolves 2009-04-25 10:23:30 AM  
A sane take on the rescue of stupid people. Good.

 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 10:25:30 AM  
The cost of a helicopter rescue is about $4,400 an hour.

How much does Jesus charge, assuming he doesn't just send the helicopter ?

 
Generation_D [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 10:29:35 AM  
Now if the rest of America could just send Texas a bill for the damage and costs inflicted by its Republicans from 2000 - 2008.

 
tudorgurl [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-25 10:40:50 AM  
Generation_D: Now if the rest of America could just send Texas a bill for the damage and costs inflicted by its Republicans from 2000 - 2008.

Now hold on a sec there, slick. It wasn't just our fault...

 
ObeliskToucher 2009-04-25 10:43:43 AM  
Generation_D: Now if the rest of America could just send Texas a bill for the damage and costs inflicted by its Republicans from 2000 - 2008.

It's offset by the damage and costs inflicted by its Democrats from 1963-1968...

 
7of7 [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:01:11 AM  
www.pleasesecede.com

 
Generation_D [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:04:04 AM  
A Texan was occupying the White House from 1963 to 1968. So we can add that to the costs to America created by Texans.

It wasn't just Texans, I'm positive you had help with Oklahoma but y'all were leading the way. Got to make an example out of someone.

You had the country by the tail and all you did with it was steal from it and leave it poorer. In a word, you carpetbagged it. All the stuff you used to accuse Yankees of doing for years and years.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:09:46 AM  
Generation_D: In a word, you carpetbagged it.

Wow. Be glad you can't be punched through the internet, because I do believe them's fightin' words.

/Not me, Texans.

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:22:20 AM  
tudorgurl: Now hold on a sec there, slick. It wasn't just our fault...

GW went to Yale. He just pretends to be from Texas.

 
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:23:45 AM  
I don't think Texans choose to be dumbasses, they are just made that way.

 
Cog [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:24:18 AM  
Good. It's about time.

 
loveblondieo [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:24:59 AM  
The issue I have with this is that many shelters do not take pets and I wonder if they would even provide the transportation to those shelters that pets are allowed. I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

 
2wolves 2009-04-25 11:26:28 AM  
loveblondieo: The issue I have with this is that many shelters do not take pets and I wonder if they would even provide the transportation to those shelters that pets are allowed. I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

Then it's your responsibility to have a plan and enact it.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:28:48 AM  
2wolves: Then it's your responsibility to have a plan and enact it.

Preferably days in advance. Hurricanes do not sneak up on you.

/Wildfires, tornadoes, and flash floods? Somewhat excusable, but won't typically involve mandatory evac orders.

 
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:31:21 AM  
loveblondieo: The issue I have with this is that many shelters do not take pets and I wonder if they would even provide the transportation to those shelters that pets are allowed. I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

Then your are a perfect example of someone who would have to pay for the rescue. You decided to have pets, not anyone else.

 
loveblondieo [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:34:17 AM  
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: You decided to have pets, not anyone else.

Same could be said for children, yet we go out of our way to cater to them.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:35:27 AM  
loveblondieo: Same could be said for children, yet we go out of our way to cater to them.

Amazingly enough, dogs and cats don't grow up to be adult human beings.

 
7of7 [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:36:54 AM  
loveblondieo: Same could be said for children, yet we go out of our way to cater to them.

We do cater to people who have kids way too much. If you decide to encumber yourself with kids or pets you should be prepared to have your life be more difficult.

 
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:39:45 AM  
loveblondieo: You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: You decided to have pets, not anyone else.

Same could be said for children, yet we go out of our way to cater to them.


I'd argue to leave kids behind as well, because they are animals and suck too. But seeing as how they are technically human , I don't think that's gonna happen.

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:50:33 AM  
loveblondieo: I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

I agree with this. The people who say it's just an animal are people who probably don't have a pet.

 
namatad [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:56:28 AM  
how about just leaving them there to die?
seriously
death would be cheaper in the long run
and a GREAT boon to society in general

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 11:57:31 AM  
eddyatwork: loveblondieo: I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

I agree with this. The people who say it's just an animal are people who probably don't have a pet.


We've only been asked to evacuate once and we did. I loaded up the kids and the dog in the car and drove to my mother's in PA. It's not hard to evac with pets. Since Katrina there are evacuation places for pets.

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 12:07:46 PM  
Gwendolyn: I loaded up the kids and the dog in the car and drove to my mother's in PA. It's not hard to evac with pets.

The only problem is that not everyone has a car.

 
Abstruse [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 12:46:45 PM  
ObeliskToucher: It's offset by the damage and costs inflicted by its Democrats from 1963-1968...

Okay, we'll deduct that amount from the oil, natural gas, taxes, trade, labor in chemical refinery, lumber, and all of our other natural resources you owe us for.

Oh, and you no longer get Blue Bell ice cream. Suck on that one.

 
ne2d [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 12:53:51 PM  
So it will work something like this:

State: "Here's a $10,000 bill for your rescue, dumbass."

Dumbass: "I can't pay that; I just lost everything I had."

State: "No problem; we'll just get it from your insurance company."

Insurance company: "F*ck off."

State: "OK."

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 12:54:13 PM  
Abstruse: Okay, we'll deduct that amount from the oil, natural gas, taxes, trade, labor in chemical refinery, lumber, and all of our other natural resources you owe us for.

If Texas will take all the other red states with them, I'd consider that a bargain. Make sure Sarah Palin goes with you.

 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 12:56:01 PM  
eddyatwork: Gwendolyn: I loaded up the kids and the dog in the car and drove to my mother's in PA. It's not hard to evac with pets.

The only problem is that not everyone has a car.


I know that it's why I said the second part about shelters for pets.

I love my dog and cat but they are not more important to me than my children. If it came to having to get out to save the kids or stay with the pets, I'd put the pets in the kennel run and get the kids out of there.

 
Kumana Wanalaia [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 01:04:46 PM  
I just had a great idea.

Texas has oil, right?

So, let's let them secede, then we can "liberate" them.

 
thereadlines [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 01:09:36 PM  
Mordant: How much does Jesus charge, assuming he doesn't just send the helicopter ?

A high price indeed. From what I understand, Jesus takes more than your money, he takes your very soul for all eternity.

 
Only_A_Lad 2009-04-25 01:10:13 PM  
Generation_D: A Texan was occupying the White House from 1963 to 1968. So we can add that to the costs to America created by Texans.

Yeah, fark civil rights! And medicare and all that shiat! farkin' Texans, showing up around here and forcing us to institute liberal social programs!

 
mud_shark 2009-04-25 01:14:56 PM  
This is just asinine. I can see charging someone for driving into a flooded ravine. I once saw a woman in a Jaguar have to be rescued while I patiently waited in my Chrysler for the waters to recede. She should have to pay, but staying behind in a hurricane is an entirely different matter and that's what we pay farking taxes for.

I know fools who spent 12 hours on the highway just getting from Houston or the Woodlands to San Antonio or Austin and I know people who didn't risk their lives to get out of town and weathered storms perfectly fines.

What's next? Move the entire city of Houston 500 miles inland because there might be a thunderstorm?

You think that's ridiculous??? They're already whining about "3rd-hand smoking" and banning trans-fats in some areas of the country

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 01:16:18 PM  
tudorgurl: Now hold on a sec there, slick. It wasn't just our fault...

You were the ones who first gave him Executive credibility by electing him Governor, yes? And, of course, Sandra Day O'Connor was born in Texas. I believe img150.imageshack.us is entitled to a lion's share of the blame.

 
Nina_Hartley's_Ass 2009-04-25 01:18:46 PM  
Generation_D: Now if the rest of America could just send Texas a bill for the damage and costs inflicted by its Republicans from 2000 - 2008.

I thought W was a Connectic...a Connecti...Connector?
Connectician?
Connecticutian...er?

/uh, Conman?

 
Abstruse [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 01:19:54 PM  
abb3w: You were the ones who first gave him Executive credibility by electing him Governor, yes?

What's this "you" shiat? I was a sophomore in high school when he was elected governor. And the only reason we did it and managed to survive is that the governor of Texas has fark-all power. The Lt. Governor has more power than the Governor here.

 
Lusiphur 2009-04-25 01:21:17 PM  
This would be fine, IF and ONLY IF there are adequate evacuation procedures in place. Buses and public transit for people without cars, and evacuation by group, perhaps based on a random lottery system, so that it doesn't take an hour to drive 15 miles.

When you have all the ground-work firmly in place and everything is running like a machine so that the costs involved in evacuating don't outweigh the costs of staying, THEN you can begin to charge stubborn dumbasses.

 
Tech N9ne 2009-04-25 01:21:41 PM  
i39.tinypic.com

 
CarrieWhite 2009-04-25 01:22:53 PM  
I am probably a lone voice in saying this, but to me this isn't a good idea. I know you're probably choking on your steak and bud reading this but think about it. You ease people into making them pay for their rescue for being presumably stupid, or perhaps for whatever reason, not being able to leave an area.

Gradually slide that scale down the line towards not so clear cut cases, then down to all rescues.

Suddenly the only way to get bailed out of shiat is to have rescue insurance. And think about how that's working with your health system.

"I'm sorry sir but we're going to have to get back to you on that claim. Try to keep afloat in the meantime. It says here that you never learnt to swim? Oh I'm sorry but...Hello?"

You get the idea.

 
HMS_Blinkin 2009-04-25 01:24:55 PM  
One caveat: As long as it's people who have the MEANS to leave but still choose not to do so that are getting the shaft. If memory serves, there were people in NO that couldn't afford to leave, or were unable for health reasons. Those people need help. People that CAN leave but choose not to, I don't feel so sympathetic for.

 
beavmetal 2009-04-25 01:26:38 PM  
Being rescued is for pu$$ies anyway.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-04-25 01:27:34 PM  
Right. You know this is how we got the no squirrels down your pants for gambling legislation. A bunch of farking dumbasses make laws after shiat happens, about shiat that's not likely going to happen any time soon. This is not government, this is retarded.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-04-25 01:28:11 PM  
Generation_D: A Texan was occupying the White House from 1963 to 1968. So we can add that to the costs to America created by Texans.

It wasn't just Texans, I'm positive you had help with Oklahoma but y'all were leading the way. Got to make an example out of someone.

You had the country by the tail and all you did with it was steal from it and leave it poorer. In a word, you carpetbagged it. All the stuff you used to accuse Yankees of doing for years and years.


He's from New Hampshire. Get farked.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-04-25 01:29:15 PM  
eddyatwork: Gwendolyn: I loaded up the kids and the dog in the car and drove to my mother's in PA. It's not hard to evac with pets.

The only problem is that not everyone has a car.


In Texas? Only retards and people under 18 don't have cars.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-04-25 01:29:53 PM  
eddyatwork: Abstruse: Okay, we'll deduct that amount from the oil, natural gas, taxes, trade, labor in chemical refinery, lumber, and all of our other natural resources you owe us for.

If Texas will take all the other red states with them, I'd consider that a bargain. Make sure Sarah Palin goes with you.


durr hurr

 
006andahalf 2009-04-25 01:33:14 PM  
Only_A_Lad: Generation_D: A Texan was occupying the White House from 1963 to 1968. So we can add that to the costs to America created by Texans.

Yeah, fark civil rights! And medicare and all that shiat! farkin' Texans, showing up around here and forcing us to institute liberal social programs!


And as I recall, it was during this period that democrats waged a most patriotic, holy and justified adventure in southeast asia. It was the craven party of defeat leader Richard Nixon who surrendered to the terrorists communists without achieving total victory. He put the national security of our country at risk which had been so zealously defended by our patriotic Democrats in the years prior.

And what about the good and Patriotic Harry Truman whose efforts at resisting the efforts of evildoers was halted by the wimpy and craven republicans of Eisenhower?

/b-b-but George McGovern!

 
other guy 2009-04-25 01:40:14 PM  
loveblondieo: The issue I have with this is that many shelters do not take pets and I wonder if they would even provide the transportation to those shelters that pets are allowed. I refuse to go anywhere while my dogs have to stay in dangerous conditions.

I respect your love an dedication to your pets. I myself have pets.

Where we deviate. IS, I have gloves and a cage for my pets if I must get someplace on short order. I honestly believe I should not have to be rescued due to me not doing what is sane and prudent. Like evacuating in an emergency. If I am knocked out and cannot think for myself days ahead.. Fine!

It is not anyone's choice if I have pets and might try and save them. Why should you or anyone pay the burden of me not moving out on a mandatory evacuation order. Simply due to me wholly loving my pets and not doing what is right for the pets and I, days ahead.

/Has a tornado plan
//also oh fark, chemical spill.. I hope my plan works!
///hurricanes move very slow = idiots who stay for the ending credits

 
happydude45 2009-04-25 01:40:54 PM  
Generation_D 2009-04-25 11:04:04 AM
A Texan was occupying the White House from 1963 to 1968. So we can add that to the costs to America created by Texans.

It wasn't just Texans, I'm positive you had help with Oklahoma but y'all were leading the way. Got to make an example out of someone.

You had the country by the tail and all you did with it was steal from it and leave it poorer. In a word, you carpetbagged it. All the stuff you used to accuse Yankees of doing for years and years.



Stole from the country & left it poorer? You dumbshiat, why do you think Texas has become as populous as it is now? You Yankees coming down here for the opportunities you want. You are a prejudiced asswipe - thanks for revealing yourself.

 
ElLoco 2009-04-25 01:41:10 PM  
eddyatwork: Abstruse: Okay, we'll deduct that amount from the oil, natural gas, taxes, trade, labor in chemical refinery, lumber, and all of our other natural resources you owe us for.

If Texas will take all the other red states with them, I'd consider that a bargain. Make sure Sarah Palin goes with you.


Honestly, I'd be ok with that. Not because I like or want to live around the type of people that would vote for GWB twice in a row(I can't describe how much I don't like or want that), but because 'blue states' have an entitlement mentality and are typically a financial burden on the rest of the country. Even California with the largest state economy in the country, massive import and export trade, and a huge education and tech sector is a financial sinking ship because so many are standing around with their hand out.

As much as I dislike the current republican party and most of the people in it on a personal level, I dislike freeloaders even more. I don't feel like Alaska or Palin really count in the grand scheme of things because the state is basically Santa Claus' Mexico. It's a nice place to visit for a week, buy various crap from the locals, and then you leave hoping you didn't catch anything that can't be cured with antibiotics.

 
snoig 2009-04-25 01:43:43 PM  
GreenAdder: tudorgurl: Now hold on a sec there, slick. It wasn't just our fault...

GW went to Yale. He just pretends to be from Texas.


Because we all know that real Texans could never attend a real college.

 
verbal_jizm [TotalFark] 2009-04-25 01:45:46 PM  
ElLoco: but because 'blue states' have an entitlement mentality and are typically a financial burden on the rest of the country.

Ummm, blue states have a much higher ratio of revenue generation vs. revenue spending when it comes to federal funds.

 
crab66 2009-04-25 01:46:25 PM  
I kind of agree, if you don't leave it's usually your own god damn fault but how do they plan to collect?

It's like cockpunching someone that just got shot in the face.

 
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