Three things....

First, The squirrels around here regularly mug freshmen. It's quite funny to see a student sleeping on the grass in the diag or on Ingalls Mall while a squirrel goes through their stuff looking for food.

Second, "The animal bit or scratched her ankle, but the teacher was able to get up and escape." The squirrel knocked her to the ground? OK, the squirrels around here eat pretty good and are fair size but are you farking kidding me? Sure, it could have been she tripped and panicked but she was from Detroit. Unless the squirrel had an AK it shouldn't have fazed her.

Third, Really? A squirrel attack gets greenlit... Really?!?!?

And you're next, moose.

As a teacher, she should've known not to fark with another creature's spawn.

evildick: A squirrel attack gets greenlit... Really?!?!?

Have you forgotten where you are?

evildick: The squirrel knocked her to the ground? OK, the squirrels around here eat pretty good and are fair size but are you farking kidding me?

Well, a squirrel knocked down the WTC towers:

Ran from a squirrel lol

Ballsy.

Did the ungrateful bastard throw a cheeseburger at her?

Fark you, bub.

/i live for these threads.

What a squirrel may look like:

And now, rabies.

He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

/oblig

evildick: Third, Really? A squirrel attack gets greenlit... Really?!?!?

You new here?

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: And you're next, moose.

Did it bit someone from your family?.

that squirrel's got balls

I think the squirrel was baiting the crow. In fact there was a whole ambush planned by squirrel insurgents (sectarians) undoubtedly and that stupid teacher screwed it all up. Never underestimate the devious nature of the common squirrel.

Of course she got beat up by the squirrel, it was wearing scarlet and grey.

No... fark YOU!

My guess is that she'll turn into a weresquirrel on the next full moon

I would give my left nut to see something like that in person (so long as I wasn't the one being brutally mauled by one of those cute, cute creatures).

got nuthin. just wanted to post early in this squirrel thread.

Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, biatch, you knew I was a snake."

Campus squirrels are notoriously evil.

AntonSzandorLaVey: Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, biatch, you knew I was a snake."

But the woman lived right?

My guess is the squirrel is from OHIO planning an ambush!! If she would have listened closely it was saying...MICHIGAN SUCKS, GO BUCKS!! Oh yeah, Ann Arbor is a whore!!

Bet it was a member of the Northern Unified Terrorist Squirrels (NUTS). Those things are evil, pretending to be cute, lul you into a sense of safety and then POUNCE, they got you. Next thing you know your on the ground. Luckily the teacher got up before it could call in the rest of the squad to gang rape her.

More about scary squirrels (new window)

queeneazy: My guess is the squirrel is from OHIO planning an ambush!! If she would have listened closely it was saying...MICHIGAN SUCKS, GO BUCKS!! Oh yeah, Ann Arbor is a whore!!fark yeah it is!

/Go Green!

OK boys and girls. . . What have we learned from Ms. Jefferson's encounter with the squirrel today? . . . That's right Kanisha, Ms. Jefferson IS a DUMBASS!!!

Class dismissed. . .

Some people are just pussies. Kick the farking thing. One time this rather large goose got all angsty with me invading its' "personal" space and charged me. Fight or flight? I booted the thing. I was so pleased with myself.

I got bitten by a squirrel when I was six. I was feeding it fortune cookies and it had eaten enough. I had to get a rabies shot. farkin' squirrels...

If this lady had been smart, she would've tried to pacify the squirrel, like this...


/from Rufus T. Firefly, in a photoshop contest yesterday!

"Bart, If those ducklings knew how you saved their mother they wouldn't be biting you on the ankle."

let this be a lesson. live nature to it's self, and mind your own business. shes lucky it didn't go for they eyes, cause they will do that.

evildick:
Third, Really? A squirrel attack gets greenlit... Really?!?!?

What is this guy on?

You've been on Fark since 2007 and you even PAY for it. Wow.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It's just so cute when we try to humanize wild animals.

We live in troubled times...



/this link is severe

everybody knows that the only thing running around ann arbor is nut eating rats with rabies.

/and prostitutes.

squirrely wrath
squirrely wrath
you're all gonna die

msheda: Bet it was a member of the Northern Unified Terrorist Squirrels (NUTS). Those things are evil, pretending to be cute, lul you into a sense of safety and then POUNCE, they got you. Next thing you know your on the ground. Luckily the teacher got up before it could call in the rest of the squad to gang rape her.

More about scary squirrels (new window)

OMG, that's still around? I was a lurker on scarysqirrel.org back when I was a freshman in college... 1998 or there abouts. Amazing....

Oh good. I get to use this again.

What a squirrel attack may look like. (new window)

Or maybe this? (new window)

It wasn't a squirrel really. It was a badger.

"And stay out!... Whiny biatch."

A real squirrel attack story.

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street...and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing. (pops)

Hey teacher! Leave them squirrels alone.

squirrels dont need no education.
/dark sarcasm