It gets better: Council leaders said their overhanging sharp leaves could injure unwary passers by.

I'm a mugger and I like hiding behind the council offices.

"I understood they were going to thin them and improve views across the harbour."



Well, might I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...

That's some mighty fine police work, Lou.

And so begins another episode of "How not to be seen."

just bubblewrap the entire bloody country, already. It's the only way to be safe.

/plastic causes suffocation
//it's the only way we'll be safe from infectious stupidity

In other news, Miami, FL. is now considered a terrorist haven.

Christ almighty.

Wow. How unbelievably interesting. I hope there's a followup.

They have palm trees in England?

QU!RK1019: They have palm trees in England?

Gulf stream helps them out a bit

You know, they don't really need to remove all of the trees, then, just the bottom 6 feet or so. They can leave the rest up.

MrShinra: In other news, Miami, FL, is now considered a terrorist haven.

Torquay Council was criticised two years ago for felling the trees, claiming they were a health and safety risk. Council leaders said their overhanging sharp leaves could injure unwary passers by.

It's sad to see those who once ruled over 1/4 of the planet's population fall like that in less than a century.

"The sun never sets on the Empire!"
"Jesus, what about all the skin cancer?"

Wait a minute: so they cut them down before any muggings had in fact occurred? Am I reading that right?

On behalf of my fellow countrymen, I apologise that we have turned into a nation of COMPLETE AND UTTER PUSSIES...

But officials in the Devon town decided to fell the trees after youths began hanging out there at night.

Kids, trees, and nighttime is also known as the unholy trinity.

Wait until they find out muggers can hide behind any building.

ukexpat: On behalf of my fellow countrymen, I apologise that we have turned into a nation of COMPLETE AND UTTER PUSSIES...

I blame the lawyers. They have the councils running scared.

ThematicDevice: QU!RK1019: They have palm trees in England?

Gulf stream helps them out a bit

For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.

This may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe they should remove the ocean too, as people can drown in that. Children vacation here, people!

Muggers could hide behind fat people as well.

Muggers sometime live in houses, so you better get rid of those too.

QU!RK1019: For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.


They could have been carried.

QU!RK1019: For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.

Palmettos are pretty durable plants that'll grow most anywhere that there's enough water in the soil.

My bet is on someone selling them for lumber or something (Not sure if the expression 'sell them for lumber' is valid.) and adding the muggers bit as an excuse.

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Glasgowsfinest
Well, might I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...

That should wrap this thread up.

Subby: Nanny state holiday resort cuts down all its palm trees in case muggers 'hide behind them'

TFA: The council yesterday claimed removing the trees was part of a tidyup ahead of the holiday season. Council member Dave Butt said: "The larger palms will be replanted and four additional ones added."

Wut?

Can anyone find this story from anywhere else?

Good! Or maybe not - are they native? Everytime I saw a palm tree in Arizona, I wanted to kill someone - and that left a wake of serial killings which will not soon be forgotten. I must have killed 12,000 people while I lived in Phoenix just because they had palm trees on their property and I chopped down all of their trees, but they just kept growing. And the morans from Idaho and California and Texas and New Jersey and even Canada kept moving there and planted more palm trees. I never once met a native Arizonan.

Oh well, fark that state anyway - I don't live there anymore and all they ever gave us was Barry Goldwater, John McCain and Janet Napolitano - and Sheriff Joke Arsehole, of course. And none of those people were born in Arizona either.

"Health and safety"... I am getting SO sick of hearing that phrase, and I'm not even in the UK.

It's one of the few things that bothers me about the move to national healthcare in the US. I'm afraid that it'll be the cat's paw to start imposing all this "health and safety" madness.

At least here, it's only "liability concerns" rather than a public-sector drone proactively fantasizing new risks to justify their BS jobs. And it's bad enough here, I can't imagine living in the UK with this nonsense.

Seriously, what are they striving towards? What would the perfectly safe state look like if H&S got every fantasy granted?

Lamune_Baba: Torquay Council was criticised two years ago for felling the trees, claiming they were a health and safety risk. Council leaders said their overhanging sharp leaves could injure unwary passers by.

It's sad to see those who once ruled over 1/4 of the planet's population fall like that in less than a century.

"The sun never sets on the Empire!"
"Jesus, what about all the skin cancer?"

I know. Once upon a time, these guys idea of a "lovely stroll about in the countryside" was to go to Africa and kill a lion with nothing but a knife and their bare hands, while having a bit of tea and crumpets in between lion killing.

To anyone who doesn't know, Torquay gets more sun than almost any other part of the British isles, and having been there, the palms are very much part of the character of the promenade. It's nicknamed "the English Riviera" because of them.

Removing them is nothing but utterly farking stupid.

why didn't they just look behind the trees to see if there were muggers? why did they have to cut them down??

Need some pretty thin muggers to hide behind those trees.

Things are getting way too retarded over there...

Am I the only one who read the last paragraph? It sounds more like the council is doing some gardening and the Daily Express is just raising a fuss.

For fark's sake, TFA says there's going to be MORE palm trees when they're finished, not less.

Lamune_Baba: QU!RK1019: For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.

They could have been carried.

What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

CornFedIowan Quote 2009-04-25 04:32:39 PM
Lamune_Baba: QU!RK1019: For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.

They could have been carried.

What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

It could have been an African Sparrow.

QU!RK1019: ThematicDevice: QU!RK1019: They have palm trees in England?

Gulf stream helps them out a bit

For some odd reason, I was under the impression that tropical fauna, such as coconuts and such, were hard to come by in England.

They are Cabbage Trees, native to New Zealand, New Zealand Nikau Palms also grow in temperate regions.

/ We also have a parrot the lives in the snow.

The real reason they cut the trees down was to make sure no mugger would be harmed by nuts falling from the trees as they hide behind them.

MrShinra: In other news, Miami, FL. is now considered a terrorist haven.

Now?

Clearly they're trying to keep George King out of business.

What about the rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists?

The key element of the fantastic amount of stupid that was that article for me: Council leaders said their overhanging sharp leaves could injure unwary passers by.

OH come on, ffs, England: Do something about your epedemic dumb, before it spreads, please!

Hongcouver: Do something about your epedemic dumb, before it spreads, please!

Oh wow. It looks like it's already spreading.

Glasgowsfinest: Oh wow. It looks like it's already spreading.

Yep, I'm suspecting it's spread by the intertubes. Epidemic. Don't farking flak me for my apostrophes, neither.

'''s the new slashie.
'fix yer shiate UK

Just as long as they didn't cut down any Larch trees.