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(Some Guy in stiches) Fail "Honey, clear the table and bring me your sewing kit. I'm gonna fix these blasted hemorrhoids once and for all"   (houstonpress.com) divider line 76
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23494 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2009 at 11:46 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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strangeguitar 2009-04-19 10:37:11 PM  
i615.photobucket.com

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2009-04-19 11:22:24 PM  
I lanced a nasty boil on my bum by myself before the World Wide Web even existed.

 
Malinki 2009-04-19 11:49:42 PM  
Now that's a sampler I'd like to see on Antiques Roadshow.

 
HMS_Blinkin 2009-04-19 11:50:28 PM  
That headline made me cringe.

 
Bacontastesgood 2009-04-19 11:53:39 PM  
FTFA: A 2008 Microsoft study found that one of every 50 total Web queries was health-related

So in other words, HALF of all non-porn searches. That's quite a lot.

 
RollingThunder 2009-04-19 11:55:23 PM  
Please, tell me again how your US health system's so much better than ours up here.

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-04-19 11:55:59 PM  
HMS_Blinkin: That headline made me cringe.

ditto

 
ElLoco 2009-04-19 11:57:38 PM  
Hey, Mort... do these suppositories come in any other flavors?
Peter, are you EATING those?
No, I'm shoving them up my butt... of course I'm eating them!

 
Dr. Nick Riviera [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-19 11:59:11 PM  
What should really terrify you is how much Wikipedia is contributing to your future doctors' educations.


/How much am I joking?

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:01:01 AM  
Well to be fair, Google has been a boom to Aspergers diagnoses.

According to forum posters anyway.

/snark

 
Ringshadow 2009-04-20 12:01:04 AM  
Never done it for myself but it has proven useful for diagnosing health ailments in guinea pigs. Hell, Google seems to know more than my vet on the subject.

/"Well, your guinea pig has a damaged eye."
//"And that means?"
///*vet gets out textbooks*

 
maxximillian 2009-04-20 12:01:41 AM  
Bacontastesgood: FTFA: A 2008 Microsoft study found that one of every 50 total Web queries was health-related

So in other words, HALF of all non-porn searches. That's quite a lot.


No I'm sure it's lower. I'm sure their is a medical fetish group out there somewhere.

/and the thought alone makes me vomit a little in my mouth
//Sure their is a fetish group out there for that too.

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:01:41 AM  
Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

I keed, I keed.. Just before my Dad's knee surgery a few weeks ago, as part of the pre-op procedure, the surgeon actually came in with a pen and SIGNED THE LEG TO BE WORKED UPON.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.

 
Daemon Spooler [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:02:16 AM  
Subby, a soldering iron works better on hemorrhoids.

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:03:44 AM  
Dr. Nick Riviera: What should really terrify you is how much Wikipedia is contributing to your future doctors' educations.


/How much am I joking?


Should be more worried about how much pharmaceutical companies are. There was some article about a Harvard Med School professor on the payroll of 10 different pharma companies. Any student who asked what the side effects of some drug he recommended were immediately criticized. Forgot to bookmark it, but it was a good read.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:03:54 AM  
Dr. Google is his name, and you can always read his handwriting and he doesn't fine you if you can't make it to an appointment. Hell, Dr. Google still makes house calls, and he is available 24/7.

Dr. Google is just Darwin in disguise.

 
NannerPuss 2009-04-20 12:08:49 AM  
Anyone else think this was a really crappy article? From the headline, I thought "Oh, this should be an interesting article about people who over-react after self-diagnosis via the internet." Then I get a few paragraphs in and think that its just about people who put off going to the doctor by looking up their symptoms on "Dr. Google."

But after getting halfway through the second page, I realize that its just an extra long group-rant on the price of health care and insurance. That's all fine and dandy...but don't headline the article "Cyberchondriacs" if you only mention it for about 4 sentences in a 4 page long article.

/didn't finish TFA

 
Epiphany 2009-04-20 12:10:10 AM  
NannerPuss: Anyone else think this was a really crappy article? From the headline, I thought "Oh, this should be an interesting article about people who over-react after self-diagnosis via the internet." Then I get a few paragraphs in and think that its just about people who put off going to the doctor by looking up their symptoms on "Dr. Google."

But after getting halfway through the second page, I realize that its just an extra long group-rant on the price of health care and insurance. That's all fine and dandy...but don't headline the article "Cyberchondriacs" if you only mention it for about 4 sentences in a 4 page long article.

/didn't finish TFA


I didn't finish TFA either. Ridiculous.

 
Oznog 2009-04-20 12:13:01 AM  
They call these people "cyberchondriacs," and say that the condition is growing.

They know, because they looked this made-up condition up on the Internet and subsequently diagnosed the whole world with it.

Ironic, isn't it?

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-04-20 12:13:05 AM  
RollingThunder: Please, tell me again how your US health system's so much better than ours up here.

We have nicer weather. In July, or even year round. And you get to choose your location!

 
Dezilith 2009-04-20 12:14:09 AM  
vicejay Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

I keed, I keed.. Just before my Dad's knee surgery a few weeks ago, as part of the pre-op procedure, the surgeon actually came in with a pen and SIGNED THE LEG TO BE WORKED UPON.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.


That reminded me of the time I had dislocated my knee - they had to mark the leg that was dislocated with a big black X. Not like the fact that my knee cap was on the wrong side of the joint to give them a damn clue.

 
Oznog 2009-04-20 12:21:13 AM  
Huh. I had some back problems, sciatica.

Google says most back problems like this resolve themselves within six weeks, as long as you take it easy. It did, more or less.

It also said that doctors prescribe expensive, absurd "professional treatments", and order all sorts of back surgery which rarely helps and often makes things worse.

I bet if I used a doctor and did everything recommended, I'd be out $30k by now. And it'd either resolve itself in exactly the same time period anyways, in which case we credit him for the "cure", or the surgery could leave me farked up for life.

And if you don't intend to follow the doctor's recommendations, then the whole $1500 evaluation is a complete waste of money in the first place.

And we wonder why health care is unaffordable. How much of this is heath care we don't NEED?

 
jerky on the veldt 2009-04-20 12:25:16 AM  
farm4.static.flickr.com

Someone has probably beaten me to it by now, but you knew this was coming.

 
Dr. Nick Riviera [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:25:58 AM  
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Dr. Nick Riviera: What should really terrify you is how much Wikipedia is contributing to your future doctors' educations.


/How much am I joking?

Should be more worried about how much pharmaceutical companies are. There was some article about a Harvard Med School professor on the payroll of 10 different pharma companies. Any student who asked what the side effects of some drug he recommended were immediately criticized. Forgot to bookmark it, but it was a good read.


I already read it. It was a very good read. Here's the NYTimes article.

vicejay: Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.


I just skimmed the article, but who said that? The doctors with quotes just seemed to stress that Google should not be the alpha and omega of your medical diagnoses.

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:28:34 AM  
Well, I had back problems too, went to an actual doctor, got recommended surgery, had it, and life is 100% better now.

So clearly YMMV, but I'm quite happy that I have health insurance.

 
proton 2009-04-20 12:35:56 AM  
It's a lot better if you try it in the shower. Just don't break yourself trying to get the needle in there by yourself.

 
doglover [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:41:41 AM  
Doctors are great, but they want money. Get the sewing kit.

 
Dahne 2009-04-20 12:42:41 AM  
It's fun to try to research effects of gunshot wounds online. You get a Yahoo Answers page that says, "How do you treat a gunshot wound?? please answer quickly"

 
Llois [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:43:24 AM  
I work for a health insurance company, and I can tell you where you get screwed is lab fees. The contracted rates for these procedures is routinely about 1-10% of the billed rates. Insane and to my mind should be illegal. If you're on an HSA or otherwise paying out of pocket for healthcare, make damn sure the lab work is necessary before you allow it.

 
Zays 2009-04-20 12:45:06 AM  
Subby here. I agree the headline is cringe-worthy. But if that's what it takes to a get my first greenlight around here, then tastes like chicken, I guess.

I actually read the hardcopy version of this story (ie. in the newspaper), and I'm wondering if there is a difference between the two. (Have not read the online all the way through yet.) I THINK I have seen them do that before, but not certain.

Yes, self diagnosis and self-remedy are worrying trends. But like everything else involving the internet, it is just the mannequin. It's up to the users to decide what clothes to put on it, or what to do with it. (Let me cut this off here: Please, for the love of god, do NOT start posting mannequin porn. I don't even know if it exists, but I figure if they have it for lawn furniture, and given Fark's reputation, then....)

I have tourettes syndrome, and spent seven years as a child during the 1980's being wrongly diagnosed. A very traumatic seven years, where I was the only one in my world who knew that I was not crazy.

Would the web have helped me then? Probably, but not absolutely.

 
stirfrybry 2009-04-20 12:47:28 AM  
Oznog: They call these people "cyberchondriacs," and say that the condition is growing.

They know, because they looked this made-up condition up on the Internet and subsequently diagnosed the whole world with it.

Ironic, isn't it?


LOL

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:49:38 AM  
Zays: Subby here. I agree the headline is cringe-worthy. But if that's what it takes to a get my first greenlight around here, then tastes like chicken, I guess.

Hey Congrats on losing your cherry!

..Wonder what Web MD has to say about that.. :)

 
Oznog 2009-04-20 12:49:43 AM  
vicejay: Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

I keed, I keed.. Just before my Dad's knee surgery a few weeks ago, as part of the pre-op procedure, the surgeon actually came in with a pen and SIGNED THE LEG TO BE WORKED UPON.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.


There seems to be a misunderstanding here- there IS a truly flawless mechanism the hospital uses. THAT'S IT, right there.

Computer transcripts can easily be wrong. The doctor may, at some point in his career, not correctly remember what he was supposed to do. But if it's written on the patient, with the patient there, there is no recording error. And if it's done with the doctor's signature, he cannot be doing it on a patient someone else helpfully marked up for him (and did so wrongly).

The problem is you're deriding the absurd simplicity of this system in a world prone to overcomplex solutions, whereas the absurd simplicity of it is its greatest strength.

 
stirfrybry 2009-04-20 12:51:20 AM  
why don't we make some laws that limit the kind of information that can be placed on the internet?

/joking

 
penthesilea [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 12:54:55 AM  
After six doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with my baby boy I googled. I figured out what was wrong in minutes and was able to get my kid to a doctor that could help him.

 
Oznog 2009-04-20 12:55:26 AM  
Dahne: It's fun to try to research effects of gunshot wounds online. You get a Yahoo Answers page that says, "How do you treat a gunshot wound?? please answer quickly"

www.jeffsandquist.com
Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Why??
Time is a factor, Lois.

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 01:01:53 AM  
Oznog: Dahne: It's fun to try to research effects of gunshot wounds online. You get a Yahoo Answers page that says, "How do you treat a gunshot wound?? please answer quickly"


Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Why??
Time is a factor, Lois.


Nice D grade clip art there.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-20 01:02:43 AM  
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Well to be fair, Google has been a boom to Aspergers diagnoses.

According to forum posters anyway.

/snark


Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how they managed to pull "1 out of 150 are in the Autism Spectrum" when just a mere twenty years ago I believe it was 1 out of 2000?

/must've been out of their asses...anything since "Ritalin" is no longer popular to make their kids take, I suppose...
//knew someone with Autism...ACTUAL Autism...diagnosed at age 3 by doctors.
///Self-diagnosed Aspergers doesn't give people the excuse to be an asshole...I'm just sayin'...

 
Constance Velocity 2009-04-20 01:04:45 AM  
vicejay: Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

I keed, I keed.. Just before my Dad's knee surgery a few weeks ago, as part of the pre-op procedure, the surgeon actually came in with a pen and SIGNED THE LEG TO BE WORKED UPON.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.


Really? Because when I had surgery on my foot, they handed ME a Sharpie and told ME to mark up my feet appropriately. On the right one, I wrote "NO NO NO! NOT this ONE the OTHER one!" On the left one I wrote "FIX ME."

I mean, why not?

 
Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo 2009-04-20 01:08:35 AM  
One of the greatest myths ever spread is that the general population needs the latest technology and newest drugs to get up in the morning, and that this need is so great that we should fork over hundreds or thousands of dollars on the likely possibility that we'd face a life-threatening illness treatable only by a team of surgeons that our insurance companies will gladly take care of with no problems whatsoever.

The reality? You pay a small fortune every month for substandard care. You face a medical emergency, something big, and even with insurance, you still have a 62% chance of going bankrupt. There have been, and continue to be, people who live into their nineties with almost no professional medical care.

But it's definitely much better to spend a quarter million dollars over a lifetime against the risk of a life-threatening problem. Definitely.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 01:09:47 AM  
Wow, is our system broke. But the thought that we can't do a little home Rx is silly. Anyone with half a brain can do their own work.

Yeast infection: 5 yogurts a day for 5 days. done.
Lanced boils:2. Lanced oral abcess due to wisdom tooth coming in:2
Pulled my own teeth: my parents, many occasions.
Treated my own bacterial infection with leftover antibiotics collected from family: 1 time.
Treated my sister's burn:1 time.
Treated my own cold: A million times, don't be silly. I've never gone to the doctor for a cold.

You do what you have to do. And now I'm going to school again because "artist" doesn't pay benefits.

 
That_Bob_Guy 2009-04-20 01:13:46 AM  
Dr. Nick Riviera: What should really terrify you is how much Wikipedia is contributing to your future doctors' educations.


/How much am I joking?


No joke. It's a shame. We're churning out MDs with the equivalent of the Reader's Digest version of med school.

Overheard in CCU recently (with some paraphrasing):
"Hey doc, what's this lab result supposed to mean?"

"Let me Google that for you."

I almost choked on my altoid!

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 01:15:07 AM  
Juniper Jupiter: Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how they managed to pull "1 out of 150 are in the Autism Spectrum" when just a mere twenty years ago I believe it was 1 out of 2000?

The vaccines, no wait the processed foods, no wait the lead based paint, no wait the lead in chinese toys, no wait too much orange juice, no wait not enough orange juice, etc. etc. etc.

Either one of three things actually happened:

1. Science got better at diagnosing autism in its varying extremes

2. More people with mental problems started breeding, bringing us closer to Idiocracy

3. Pharmaceutical companies needed to boost sales of their new Kids Who Count Too Many Pencils medication or whatever the f*ck it's called.

 
legrandbatard 2009-04-20 01:20:39 AM  
Constance Velocity: vicejay: Yes, trust your doctor, and don't do any independent research on your own, because doctors are fail-proof, omnipotent miracle workers.

I keed, I keed.. Just before my Dad's knee surgery a few weeks ago, as part of the pre-op procedure, the surgeon actually came in with a pen and SIGNED THE LEG TO BE WORKED UPON.

If the mechanisms and paperwork of the hospital were truly flawless, I don't think they'd need this revolutionary technique to ensure that they didn't cut on the wrong leg.

Really? Because when I had surgery on my foot, they handed ME a Sharpie and told ME to mark up my feet appropriately. On the right one, I wrote "NO NO NO! NOT this ONE the OTHER one!" On the left one I wrote "FIX ME."

I mean, why not?


God, would you love to hear this one. I went in for a surgery to take care of some rather innocuous testicular cystic fibrosis on my left testicle. 5 hours later after the surgery I woke up to find that my junk had been lopped off in some mix up... I mean... everything was gone! At first I was angry but then I came to understand that such things can happen and it's not anybody's fault. I try to occupy my time by making neat flower arrangements and attending the exotic pet shows they have in my town.

 
Dr.Zom 2009-04-20 01:23:12 AM  
Hell, Google is the closest thing I have to health insurance. I've self diagnosed and treated more than a few things off the internet and the last thing I did finally break down and go to the doctor about turned into "we don't see anything wrong with you, that will be $600 and maybe we can run some more tests."

I also had a friend remove a xanthoma from around my eye after I ordered the acid online and followed directions from a medical site. Thanks to the Patriot Act I can no longer order the acid so I'm having a doctor friend order it for me. Will be less than $60 bucks. Doctors I've called won't even tell me how much they charge without me paying for an office visit.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-04-20 01:33:47 AM  
oldebayer: I lanced a nasty boil on my bum by myself before the World Wide Web even existed.

OK, some things we just don't need to know about anyone.

 
RocketFood 2009-04-20 01:39:06 AM  
LOL

My mother is one of these people. She's always reading up on diseases and disorders and then "diagnosing" other family members.

Over the past year I've been "diagnosed" with diabetes, high blood pressure, major depression, Asperger's syndrome, wheat allergies, gluten allergies, vitamin D deficiency, and a couple other things I've already forgotten about.

 
mwenye_kichaa 2009-04-20 01:46:38 AM  
I dunno, I look up things I've already been diagnosed with to see if new information is out, or if new treatments are in the works. I have used the internet to look up symptoms, too, but usually just to see what -might- be going on with me so I have an idea what to ask the doctor about when I see him/her. But most of the time I'm just looking stuff up out of curiousity. The internet is good for that. (g)

 
ElLoco 2009-04-20 01:49:47 AM  
Zays: I have tourettes syndrome, and spent SHIAT seven years as a child during the ASS 1980's being wrongly diagnosed. A very traumatic seven years, where I BIATCH was the only one in my world who knew that I was not crazy. PENIS

ftfy

 
j0ndas 2009-04-20 01:49:54 AM  
The info you find online isn't necessarily perfect, but it's a big step up from having no idea what's going on. Also, as people in the thread have pointed out, doctors aren't infallible, and it's good to check up on the diagnosis and prescriptions to find out if they actually fit your symptoms.

My lung doctor, for instance, has prescribed several rounds of corticosteroids? and antibiotics due to my chronic lung problems, but he never suggested I check the air quality in my house or the outdoors, which as it turns out is often pretty bad. I now have an air monitoring device that I bought from a Google ad link (around $250), and an air filtering device that I bought in Walmart (around $80). My lungs are actually clear most mornings now.

(incidently, there was also info I found through Google on green-lipped mussel extract, which apparently acts as a natural anti-inflammatory, but it also apparently has the potential to cause liver damage if taken in too-high doses, so I'm staying away from that for now...)

 
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