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(Telegraph) Dumbass The average wine drinker may as well be eating 184 bags of potato chips per month, according to mathematically challenged journalist   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 103
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103 Comments   (+0 »)


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Whamdangler 2009-04-18 09:56:57 AM  
Heh. 11-calorie bags of chips. Awesome.

 
flucto [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-18 10:59:15 AM  
I guess that means my wine consumption = the potato output of Idaho.

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 01:29:34 PM  
For me it cancels itself out really...
the more wine I drink, the more I run around the house and rassle. XD

 
daychilde [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 01:31:00 PM  
actually, dumbassmitter, he said:

The hope is that by showing that the average wine drinker consumes an extra 2,000 calories a month - the equivalent of 184 bags of crisps - people will cut down on their alcohol.

Or are you one of those that doesn't understand the difference between .01 dollars and .01 cents?

 
Theaetetus 2009-04-18 02:00:26 PM  
daychilde: actually, dumbassmitter, he said:

The hope is that by showing that the average wine drinker consumes an extra 2,000 calories a month - the equivalent of 184 bags of crisps - people will cut down on their alcohol.

Or are you one of those that doesn't understand the difference between .01 dollars and .01 cents?


For daychilde and the other mathematically challenged Farkers, if 2,000 calories = 184 bags of crisps, then each bag of crisps is just under 11 calories.

upload.wikimedia.org
Calories in 100g of crisps
525.0kcal


www.gunaxin.com
4! Ah ah ah! 4 bags of crisps per month!

 
ihatedumbpeople 2009-04-18 02:10:24 PM  
Hmmm...that's assuming the wine doesn't take the place of something else they'd be consuming anyway.

 
Cheops 2009-04-18 02:10:36 PM  
If everyone isn't panicking already, then I suggest you do so immediately.

 
Five o' Clock Somewhere [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:11:16 PM  
images.onesite.com

Mmm, crisps

 
Pardon Me Sultan 2009-04-18 02:11:39 PM  
Theaetetus:

Now there's a beautifully done slapdown

/double bonus marks for the count

 
gtv42 2009-04-18 02:12:06 PM  
He probably divided 2000 calories by ~11 g of fat.

You...you can't really do that. Unless you care about units of kcal/g.

 
Charlotte 2009-04-18 02:12:44 PM  
Maybe Journalist meant 184 crisps, as in individual pieces. That seems a little more realistic.

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:14:50 PM  
Theaetetus: daychilde: actually, dumbassmitter, he said:
The hope is that by showing that the average wine drinker consumes an extra 2,000 calories a month - the equivalent of 184 bags of crisps - people will cut down on their alcohol.

Or are you one of those that doesn't understand the difference between .01 dollars and .01 cents?

For daychilde and the other mathematically challenged Farkers, if 2,000 calories = 184 bags of crisps, then each bag of crisps is just under 11 calories.
Calories in 100g of crisps
525.0kcal
4! Ah ah ah! 4 bags of crisps per month!


I was told there'd be no math.

 
you have pee hands 2009-04-18 02:16:42 PM  
FTA: Large glass of medium dry white wine = 190 calories = two and a half digestive biscuits.

I propose that all caloric values be instead measured by their digestive biscuit equivalent.

 
llewyrr [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:17:09 PM  
Right, and Vodka with Redbull is fantastic for you.

 
Whitewabbit 2009-04-18 02:17:31 PM  
+1 smackdown
+10 for correct usage of the count.

 
EnglishChef PolishInventor GermanHumanitarian 2009-04-18 02:18:40 PM  
Pfft, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. Eleventy percent of all people know that

 
icanhazstapler [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:19:15 PM  
Please, please, please someone make these idiots to shut the hell up.

/OMG FOOD HAS CALORIES?!
//running to the toilet to purge immediately

 
xaveth 2009-04-18 02:19:30 PM  
This guy must work for CNN.

 
ScottMpls 2009-04-18 02:19:36 PM  
2000 calories a month? So, that's about 1 days' intake for many adults?

/meh

 
EnglishChef PolishInventor GermanHumanitarian 2009-04-18 02:20:20 PM  
F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5!!!

 
d'art 2009-04-18 02:21:00 PM  
daychilde: actually, dumbassmitter, he said:

The hope is that by showing that the average wine drinker consumes an extra 2,000 calories a month - the equivalent of 184 bags of crisps - people will cut down on their alcohol.

Or are you one of those that doesn't understand the difference between .01 dollars and .01 cents?


Quiet woman. People who can do math are talking.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:21:23 PM  
Bet they can't eat just one... hundred eighty-four...

 
Tofino 2009-04-18 02:21:39 PM  
It's funny: when my wife drinks several glasses of wine, I often find myself burning a lot more calories later that night. :D

Tis true that alcohol calories are crap calories, though. Delicious crap calories, but still crap. I cut out booze for 3-4 weeks every spring to drop a few pounds. I typically lose 8-10 pounds over that time, not entirely from the loss of alcohol calories, but also because I find when I'm going to the pub for trivia night or whatever and having diet coke instead of a couple beers, I'm more likely to come home and hit the elliptical and lift a few weights, and less likely to go "mmm, Burger King!" on the way home. (Currently just at the end of this year's month, dropped 9 pounds, man that Guinness on Tuesday is going to taste great!)

Then we go from the hilarious:

Large glass (250ml) of average strength red wine = 214 calories = one bag of Cheesy Wotsits.

To the "ooh yes please!" wine pairings:

Bottle of medium dry white wine = 570 calories = chicken with cashew nuts and egg fried rice.

One pint of premium lager = 330 calories = one four ounce fillet steak

One pint of cider = 200 calories = one KFC chicken drumstick

 
FiestyIrishVixen 2009-04-18 02:22:06 PM  
llewyrr: Right, and Vodka with Redbull is fantastic for you.

Mmmm Cherry Vodka and Red Bull is awesome.

 
strathmeyer 2009-04-18 02:22:11 PM  
ScottMpls: 2000 calories a month? So, that's about 1 days' intake for many adults?

/meh


Dude, that's like running a whole 15 miles. Impossible even if you try to split it up.

 
Jayzeus 2009-04-18 02:22:22 PM  
The numbers don't lie.

The people behind them however...

 
strathmeyer 2009-04-18 02:22:46 PM  
llewyrr: Right, and Vodka with Redbull is fantastic for you.

Ask your girlfriend how it was for her.

 
WildMonkey 2009-04-18 02:23:10 PM  
Alcohol = sugar

And the yeast doesn't help either for you beer drinkers.

 
LeroyBourne 2009-04-18 02:23:57 PM  
What about the more weight we put on due to the chips vs. the more wine we'll need to drink cause one is too fat to get buzzed? I just blew your mind didn't I?

 
Hilary T. N. Seuss 2009-04-18 02:24:16 PM  
...consuming the equivalent of a Snickers chocolate bar in alcohol.

Mmmmm, Snickers bars soaked in alcohol. **drool**

 
Goodfella 2009-04-18 02:24:45 PM  
But all those studies conducted by the alchohol beverage industry that they release every other week say that drinking makes you healthier. Now I just don't know what to think.

 
cowsspinach [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:25:42 PM  
Great. No wonder I'm such a fattie. All those years partying in college and partying now I realized it was all the wine.

 
Awesome T-Shirt 2009-04-18 02:25:54 PM  
Actually, it would be 18.4 bags of chips per month assuming the bags are around 108 calories a bag.

 
EnglishChef PolishInventor GermanHumanitarian 2009-04-18 02:27:57 PM  
WildMonkey 2009-04-18 02:23:10 PM
Alcohol = sugar


Thanks Mr. Obvious, you're a life saver

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-04-18 02:28:03 PM  
i186.photobucket.com

 
ez-reader 2009-04-18 02:28:47 PM  
Alcohol = sugar
WildMonkey, better check your chemistry book

 
medius [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:28:51 PM  
i use a lot of calories wanking and fretting from anxiety

 
Occam's Disposable Razor 2009-04-18 02:32:46 PM  
cowsspinach: Great. No wonder I'm such a fattie. All those years partying in college and partying now I realized it was all the wine.

Quit being anorexic.

 
JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm 2009-04-18 02:34:16 PM  
Here is another thing about it that is bullshiat.

I will usually have a drink when I get off work, a drink with dinner, and then another drink or two before bed. When I don't do that, I still consume some sort of beverage. If I was drinking water or diet soda, I guess it would make a difference, but I pretty much just drink sweet tea, coke, gatorade, and lemonade if I'm not "drinking".

I guess what I am saying is they assume the drink is "extra" when you would probably just substitute it with something with just as many calories.

/It's the 24 beer football binger that packs on the extra pounds.
//Not casual drinking.

 
SordidEuphemism 2009-04-18 02:34:24 PM  
ez-reader: Alcohol = sugar
WildMonkey, better check your chemistry book


You might want to check your biology one. The liver converts alcohol to sugar.

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:36:15 PM  
Tofino: It's funny: when my wife drinks several glasses of wine, I often find myself burning a lot more calories later that night. :D

THIS. See above.

To the "ooh yes please!" wine pairings:
Bottle of medium dry white wine = 570 calories = chicken with cashew nuts and egg fried rice.
One pint of premium lager = 330 calories = one four ounce fillet steak
One pint of cider = 200 calories = one KFC chicken drumstick


Those aren't wine pairings cool guy, they're calorie equivalents. XD

 
THX 1138 2009-04-18 02:37:00 PM  
Actually, if one looks at the glycolysis process, the yeast in wine have already consumed a few of the calories of the raw grape juice in their action of turning the sugars to alcohol.

So wine actually has fewer calories than the original grape juice from whence it came. Drink up!

/The More You KnowTM

 
Jument 2009-04-18 02:39:06 PM  
A man drinking five pints of lager a week would consume 44,200 calories in alcohol a year, the equivalent to 221 doughnuts, and put on 12 pounds of fat unless he cut his diet elsewhere.

Five pints per week being 44200 calories puts one pint of lager at 170 calories. And yet later in TFA:

One pint of premium lager = 330 calories = one four ounce fillet steak

 
Burchill 2009-04-18 02:40:30 PM  
mmmm, crisps and booze.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:42:01 PM  
Did Barbie write the article then propose going shopping?

 
AbbeySomeone 2009-04-18 02:43:42 PM  
DNRTFA but I call bullshiat anyhow. Everything has calories, and if all the people that freak out over articles such as this actually enjoyed a few glasses of wine on a regular basis..

/got nothin'
//looks for corkscrew

 
Prohest 2009-04-18 02:44:22 PM  
www.fotothing.com

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-04-18 02:47:10 PM  
AbbeySomeone: Everything has calories,

In that case, I'm surviving exclusively on fried food. It is just calories like everything else has.

 
Abox 2009-04-18 02:48:06 PM  
FTA "To avoid piling on the pounds we should try to drink within the recommended limits, eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly."

FT


/exercise so you can eat whatever the fark you want.
//doesn't apply if you want twinkies and coke
///if you want twinkies and coke then either grow the fark up or die fat.

 
MSD 2009-04-18 02:48:28 PM  
95% of alcohol is converted to acetate by the liver (alcohol + alcohol deoxygenase -> acetaldehyde; acetaldehyde + acetaldehyd deoxygenase -> aceteate in the form of acetic acid.)

Alcohol's effects on weight gain are the 73% decrease in lipid oxidation for several hours after consumption. I can't find it at the moment, but I believe it also interferes with hepatic carbohydrate metabolism and forces the body to convert carbs to fat and store it because it's busy with the alcohol.

Link to 1999 study (new window)

 
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