I actually found that very interesting! Thanks, Subby!

"What's the most common item left behind at airport screening,"

That would be five farking dollars to check a bag.

Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo....

I have a question. Why is the airline industry so badly broken, and should we fix it? Or perhaps focus on something better, like high speed rail.

Is playing Elite Beat Agents while the plane is taking off or landing really going to send us hurtling to the ground?

8. My faith in humanity

Here's what I'd like to know. When are the airlines and the FTA going to dial down the douchiness which is currently an integral part of trying to fly anywhere so that normal people can actually start getting back on airplanes again without all the harassment and hassle that paying customers shouldn't have to deal with?

Why doesn't TSA understand that no matter how intrusive their searches get, if someone wants to get a bomb onto a plane, they'll find a way?

drsteel: "What's the most common item left behind at airport screening,"

That would be five farking dollars to check a bag.

Five? What airline only charges five?? American wants $15 for the first, $25 for the second, $100 per piece for three, four and five, and $200 per piece for all above five.

Hooray my dislike for people who won't shut the fark up is vindicated. People said I was just anti-social.


\\your jaw won't freeze up if shiat doesn't pour from it people.

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

I'm still completely flummoxed by how many laptops are left behind. Your normal laptop-toting flyer probably falls into one of two broad groups-

*Business people
*People travelling for pleasure

... okay, so that pretty much applies to anyone flying. Still, you have two different reasons to have a laptop. The businessperson is going to be using their laptop for surfing porn working on their job while travelling, and thusly the laptop is probably full of important and possibly sensitive documents. How is that not a priority to track the whereabouts of? And it's not like most laptops are light enough that you wouldn't miss the weight in the laptop bag- even a subnotebook weighs 2-3lbs, and in a briefcase that's a noticeable amount.

Someone travelling for pleasure- let's say a college student- is going to be taking his laptop on a trip so he can work on research papers surf for porn. Not only is his computer also full of important documents rare porn, he probably also paid for that laptop himself, so it is a personal expense he's trying to keep track of. Again, how do you leave that behind?

I've flown with laptops for business and for pleasure (hurr, hurr hu- sorry) and in either case I was always hyper-aware of where my laptop bag was, and what it was doing. If i was sitting down somewhere the strap was around my leg, and otherwise it was on my back. The only time it left my sight is when I get to a hotel or somewhere safe I can stash it.

Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot.


/tl;dr - durrr, laptop-forgetters are idiots!
//hurr hurr hurr...
/WWCtBD?
//What Would Cohen the Barbarian Do?
/rape the building and set fire to the women!

Why is it that international airlines can not suck major ass but American ones can't?

On that article is a link to a better one:
6 Really Strange Truck Spills

Featuring this:




Before you let that make you sick let me assure you.. it's exactly what it looks like.

You can't un-see it.

rcf1105: Is playing Elite Beat Agents while the plane is taking off or landing really going to send us hurtling to the ground?

What cockpit chit-chat may look like.

deltabourne: Why is it that international airlines can not suck major ass but American ones can't?

Whut? (new window)

fwiw I like flying Continental most of all of the regular airlines. They still do snacks and suchlike and don't nickel and dime you as much as a lot of the other airlines. Still do it too much, though.

Did you have the fish?..lol

Up above where I typed FTA I meant TSA but you figured that out, right?

/stupid fingers

Sometimes I don't think the TSA will relent until they've reached the end of the line. with rubber gloves on.

I believe in the case of the US Airports and their employees, it's commonsense and politeness.

These farking bag monkeys get to put on some uniform and become assholes.

You're a glorified baggage handler, less of the attitude when someone asks you politely why your luggage has been left aside for 30 minutes and seemingly forgotten when all other cases are being processed in minutes.

Actually, yes, I'm telling you how to farking do your job since you've obviously missed prcoessing a luggage case because you've forgotten about it. Asshole.

The majority of confiscated items ultimately end up in an industrial-sized incinerator or trash compactor.

Bullschitt. My corkscrew went to the locker of the guy who hooted and hollered over how he had been waiting for one of those. My single-malt Scotch (just after they changed the rules) no doubt went into a cup in the Break Room.

TSA Screeners = legalized theft

thalassatx: drsteel: "What's the most common item left behind at airport screening,"

That would be five farking dollars to check a bag.

Five? What airline only charges five?? American wants $15 for the first, $25 for the second, $100 per piece for three, four and five, and $200 per piece for all above five.

Backwoods airports that have their own planes. Fly anywhere in Southern Indiana recently? You have pretty much one choice of airport, and I'm astonished they haven't raised the check rates.

/$5 for the FIRST BAG, sorry nobody thought of it

Why can the airlines be all Nurse Ratched about every rule EXCEPT when it comes time to tell the guy who duct-taped a handle on the box the Chrysler Building came in that "you can't carry that on and cram it in an overhead?"

GeekTheMighty: deltabourne: Why is it that international airlines can not suck major ass but American ones can't?

Whut? (new window)

fwiw I like flying Continental most of all of the regular airlines. They still do snacks and suchlike and don't nickel and dime you as much as a lot of the other airlines. Still do it too much, though.shiat, you're right. The existence of a low cost no frills airline which is much cheaper than anything in America completely disproves the point. After all, all airlines are exactly like Ryanair outside of America.

Emirates, Qatar Airways, Cathay Pacific, Singapore Airlines, Japan Airlines, BA, Qantas, SAA, and all the rest are all American, dontchaknow!

How about the newsstory on TV were the airlines are thinking about charging to use the toilet. Wonder what will happen then. Will people pay, break the lock off or use the aisle. Bad enough they want to charge for water and peanuts and the meal if you get one sucks but now we pay to go to the toilet.

I'm flying from Glasgow back home to California in 6 hours, so I'm getting a kick, etc.

I always only fly BA, they're the best. Huge on-demand movie library FTW. For some reason I don't trust America-based airlines.

thenateman: What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

Flew on Southwest last week. They gave out the customary honey-peanuts and some chips, both were fresh. I jokingly asked the flight attendant where the stale pretzels were. A few minutes later she tossed me a bag of good ole stale pretzels.

/true story
//of course I flirted with her!

GungFu: I believe in the case of the US Airports and their employees, it's commonsense and politeness.

These farking bag monkeys get to put on some uniform and become assholes.

You're a glorified baggage handler, less of the attitude when someone asks you politely why your luggage has been left aside for 30 minutes and seemingly forgotten when all other cases are being processed in minutes.

Actually, yes, I'm telling you how to farking do your job since you've obviously missed prcoessing a luggage case because you've forgotten about it. Asshole.


I work in an airport...on the ramp actually...so I really get a kick out of a reply like this one.

If you really DO ask politely, then I apologise if your treated shabbily..if your decent to me, I'll break my back to be decent to you...you pay my wages afterall.
Travelling by air is a pain in the bum at the best of times....and we don't enjoy meeting our friends at TSA anymore than you do.

BUT

If your the kind of whiny, snotty, self entitled, petty 'I want your Name' Douchebag that seems to permiate society these days then pay attention....

The reason your bag is not being processed is probably because your flying standby and we have to make sure you can get on the farking plane before your bag gets on too. I'm sure you'd probably throw a grade A1 hissy if your Wal-Mart special triple duct taped Zam-Zon-Ite was'nt at your destination at the exact time you demanded it....stop me if I'm going too fast for you.

People like you make Customer Service jobs in whatever industry absolute Hell.

I really just want to know why I can't have any damn leg room.

platkat: Why doesn't TSA understand that no matter how intrusive their searches get, if someone wants to get a bomb onto a plane, they'll find a way?

Because you do not understand the TSA's purpose. They are there for a show, and not for actual security.

Why don't we ever hear any stories about terrorist plots foiled by TSA inspectors?

By the way, is this the way you handle items that are deemed by the TSA that could be explosives?



(remembers a better picture done awhile ago, but can't find it).

twfeline: Why don't we ever hear any stories about terrorist plots foiled by TSA inspectors?

Trust me, if they ever did, it would be put up in neon lights in Times Square.

The fact of the matter is, they fail most of the surprise testing put upon them.

What exactly do y'all do to piss off the security people in airports? I fly once or twice a month, but have never had a problem with any of them. Once they even found a knife on my keychain I had just forgotten about, and just asked if I wanted to check my bag or throw the knife away. Perfectly nice about it though.

Other than that, I get in line, go through the metal detector and move on. Never seen any of them acting mean or anything. Is it because I mostly fly in the south?

Otackle72: GungFu: I believe in the case of the US Airports and their employees, it's commonsense and politeness.

BUT

If your the kind of whiny, snotty, self entitled, petty 'I want your Name' Douchebag that seems to permiate society these days then pay attention....

The reason your bag is not being processed is probably because your flying standby and we have to make sure you can get on the farking plane before your bag gets on too. I'm sure you'd probably throw a grade A1 hissy if your Wal-Mart special triple duct taped Zam-Zon-Ite was'nt at your destination at the exact time you demanded it....stop me if I'm going too fast for you.

People like you make Customer Service jobs in whatever industry absolute Hell.

WELL STATED! COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

rcf1105: Is playing Elite Beat Agents while the plane is taking off or landing really going to send us hurtling to the ground?

It's entirely possible. I'm an engineer working on aviation safety, but we can't talk about the details of this in public.

//Getting a kick out of being able to reply to this.
///Will also biatch at you if I see you doing that on a flight.

If you're ever at a loose end in Scottsboro', northern Alabama (and why wouldn't you be) you should stop by this place;

Link (new window)

They sell on the stuff that is never claimed from the airline lost and found. The place is mind blowing simply because of the range of shiat people leave on planes - you're reaction is not how could you leave it, but why would you ever take it on a plane in the first place!

I've been reading Mental Floss for years. Great Mag.

I travel for pleasure about one a month. Usually during off peak times. I'm absolutely not a defender of intrusive government and do believe that the screening is just theater.

Having said that, I have found that the screeners recently are unfailingly polite and professional. Please, thank you, good day sir, etc. Same goes for customs. Last customs guy asked me if I had any liquor to declare. I said "two liters". He said "anything good?" "Stoli." He smiled and said "Party at your place later then." Maybe I just look friendly or something but I've never experienced anything remotely out of line and I'm thin skinned.

/flame on

TFA did not point out that the extensive lobbying effort to have California's Orange County airport's symbol be changed to DUK to honor John Wayne. They got turned down, if I remember correctly, because although OC is a conservative stronghold, most international travelers and many in the US wouldn't automatically associate John Wayne with Orange County.

CruJones: What exactly do y'all do to piss off the security people in airports? I fly once or twice a month, but have never had a problem with any of them. Once they even found a knife on my keychain I had just forgotten about, and just asked if I wanted to check my bag or throw the knife away. Perfectly nice about it though.

Other than that, I get in line, go through the metal detector and move on. Never seen any of them acting mean or anything. Is it because I mostly fly in the south?

It's because most farkers are drama queens.

CruJones: What exactly do y'all do to piss off the security people in airports? I fly once or twice a month, but have never had a problem with any of them. Once they even found a knife on my keychain I had just forgotten about, and just asked if I wanted to check my bag or throw the knife away. Perfectly nice about it though.

Other than that, I get in line, go through the metal detector and move on. Never seen any of them acting mean or anything. Is it because I mostly fly in the south?

No. This is the norm everywhere. See my post. In the last year I've gone through SFO, San Jose, MIA, Fort Lauderdale, San Diego, DFW and Houston Hobby. All nice. I BS'ed with the TSA guy at a DFW checkpoint for about five minutes last Sunday about playing poker (because of the hat I was wearing). The place was empty.

Satan's Steed outside of Denver Airport told me to steal the laptops.



Oh, god, make the neighing stop... please...

Shazam999: CruJones: What exactly do y'all do to piss off the security people in airports? I fly once or twice a month, but have never had a problem with any of them. Once they even found a knife on my keychain I had just forgotten about, and just asked if I wanted to check my bag or throw the knife away. Perfectly nice about it though.

Other than that, I get in line, go through the metal detector and move on. Never seen any of them acting mean or anything. Is it because I mostly fly in the south?

It's because most farkers are drama queens.

This.

I've very, very rarely had any problems with TSA, even when I carried on a bag that had a Sirius sat. radio receiver, car adapter, antenna, and mount; laptop with 2 external drives; mp3 player with headphones; and multiple sets of batteries for a piece of equipment i'd checked previously. I EXPECTED to get searched but nope, zipped right through.


/the rules are still retarded, and obvious security theatre
//preferred flying pre-2001
///still miss having a goddamn Pepsi to drink on the flight. Farking 4 ounces bullshiat!

Why is Toronto's airport YYZ?

hrricne: I've been reading Mental Floss for years. Great Mag.

Indeed. I pick up an issue every few months.

Otackle72: GungFu: I believe in the case of the US Airports and their employees, it's commonsense and politeness.

These farking bag monkeys get to put on some uniform and become assholes.

You're a glorified baggage handler, less of the attitude when someone asks you politely why your luggage has been left aside for 30 minutes and seemingly forgotten when all other cases are being processed in minutes.

Actually, yes, I'm telling you how to farking do your job since you've obviously missed prcoessing a luggage case because you've forgotten about it. Asshole.


I work in an airport...on the ramp actually...so I really get a kick out of a reply like this one.

If you really DO ask politely, then I apologise if your treated shabbily..if your decent to me, I'll break my back to be decent to you...you pay my wages afterall.
Travelling by air is a pain in the bum at the best of times....and we don't enjoy meeting our friends at TSA anymore than you do.

BUT

If your the kind of whiny, snotty, self entitled, petty 'I want your Name' Douchebag that seems to permiate society these days then pay attention....

The reason your bag is not being processed is probably because your flying standby and we have to make sure you can get on the farking plane before your bag gets on too. I'm sure you'd probably throw a grade A1 hissy if your Wal-Mart special triple duct taped Zam-Zon-Ite was'nt at your destination at the exact time you demanded it....stop me if I'm going too fast for you.

People like you make Customer Service jobs in whatever industry absolute Hell.



Guess which one? I'm British.

And besides that, I had no reason to be a coont at the start. It was a simple question. It's my luggage. And let's face it, when within an airport and about to board, your tolerance level is immediately doubled to placate inane instructions by other airport staff: 'yes, I packed my bags myself. Yes, at no time has it been left unattended' etc.


The screener dude obviously had no idea my luggage had been there for about half an hour. He forgot about it. Period. And got uppity because I indirectly pointed to his poor memory when I asked, 'Excuse me, sir, it's been a while since my case was handed over. Just wondering if there's a problem? All my friends got theirs already; they're just waiting for me'.

Him: 'It's in a queue'
Me:'It been in the same spot for about half an hour. It's that one'
Him: 'Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job, don't tell me to do mine' (with scowl and attitude, and walking a few for show steps towards me)
Me: 'I'm not. I'm just curious if there's a problem'
Him: (turns around mumbles something I couldn't hear under his breath)

Got the luggage a few minutes afterwards.
Be honest, and less of the attitude. It's not needed.

DrSieb: Why is Toronto's airport YYZ?

It was named after that cool Rush tune.

obviously, if i was a pilot, i wouldn't do anything else but concentrate on the flight. I wouldn't even look to the side, i'd be so focused.