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(Guardian.com) Obvious Church leaders say with people losing their jobs and homes during credit crunch, now is the perfect time to sell the benefits of living a monastic lifestyle   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 43
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Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:00:00 PM  
So, after years of promoting a destructive "prosperity doctrine" that's left your congregation destitute, now you promote monasticism? I presume this philosophy will only survive until credit starts flowing again.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:02:45 PM  
OK, so they aren't evangelicals. My outrage still stands.

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:38:46 PM  
I could get into being a monk. A private room, a nice snuggie, running a craft brewery or making fine wine. The main downside is having to get up at dawn and sing stupid songs.

 
Corporate Mofo [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:40:59 PM  
As a Ph.D student in medieval history (lots of beer, no chance of getting laid), I second the virtues of the monastic lifestyle.

/prefers the Pixies to Te Deum, though

 
gozar_the_destroyer 2009-04-12 01:41:07 PM  
"Pie Iesu Domine. Dona Eis Requiem."

arago4.tnw.utwente.nl

\hotlinked

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:41:18 PM  
Is that George Carlin (Cardinal Glick)?

 
attackingpencil 2009-04-12 01:43:04 PM  
I like his eyebrows.

 
Inflatable Rhetoric 2009-04-12 01:46:27 PM  
I'll just follow the Easter Bunny. Thx anyway.

 
RY28 2009-04-12 01:46:38 PM  
Thats going to be a hard sell , seeing him standing there with his golden robe , golden cane and golden pope hat .

 
UrsaMajor 2009-04-12 01:49:56 PM  
RY28: Thats going to be a hard sell , seeing him standing there with his golden robe , golden cane and golden pope hat .

that's just the wrapper, there is chocolate in there once you open it.

 
HowAboutNo 2009-04-12 01:51:51 PM  
Worth considering, as long as you can still beat the bishop

/no not THAT bishop

 
ironrat 2009-04-12 01:52:37 PM  
attackingpencil: I like his eyebrows.

That's what I was thinking too. That's how you can tell he is an archbishop.

 
opiumpoopy 2009-04-12 01:52:58 PM  
eqtworld: Was he wearing his robe, wizard hat (and golden scepter) when he said that?

Dude, you have to admit that he looks the part.

I understand this religion thing: best beard and hat wins.

 
CrispFlows 2009-04-12 01:54:20 PM  
Corporate Mofo: fers the Pixies to Te Deum, though

What exactly is the benefits you can derive from a monastic lifestyle?

/ Seriously, I really do not have a clue

 
Bestbank Tiger 2009-04-12 01:58:22 PM  
CrispFlows: Corporate Mofo: fers the Pixies to Te Deum, though

What exactly is the benefits you can derive from a monastic lifestyle?

/ Seriously, I really do not have a clue


Well, your basic material needs are taken care of.

The downside is never getting laid. So basically, most Farkers are monks already.

 
gozar_the_destroyer 2009-04-12 01:59:24 PM  
CrispFlows: Corporate Mofo: fers the Pixies to Te Deum, though

What exactly is the benefits you can derive from a monastic lifestyle?

/ Seriously, I really do not have a clue


Other than brewing massive amounts of beer? I can't think of any other ones.

 
mesohorny 2009-04-12 02:03:10 PM  
Pay off my bills ill believe in god and wear a funny robe.

 
Greil 2009-04-12 02:06:59 PM  
kimberlyburton.typepad.com
I predict a need for this.

/fresh and hot

 
bugmn99 2009-04-12 02:08:29 PM  
Obnox: I could get into being a monk. A private room, a nice snuggie, running a craft brewery or making fine wine. The main downside is having to get up at dawn and sing stupid songs.

Do they get to drink the beer they make? I've also heard of monasteries where they make cheese, chocolate, artisan bread, fruitcake and egg nog. I think I could deak with that.

I'm founding a chili and bacon monastery. First dozen people to join me get an awesome hat.

 
Egalitarian [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-12 02:08:38 PM  
ironrat
attackingpencil: I like his eyebrows.

That's what I was thinking too. That's how you can tell he is an archbishop.


The other day I happened to see fake moustaches in the kind of dime dispensers where kids can get candy and fake tattooes. It would be awesome if they had giant fake eyebrows, too.

\and maybe sideburns
\\collect the whole set, appear in a BBC historical drama or Charles Dickens adaptation!

 
Con_Authority [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 02:12:42 PM  
Yeah, I can see this working. Much like the American "Buddhists" who live in mansions, wear designer clothes, drive $60,000 cars, eat $300 meals and jet around the world promoting a life of selflessness to people who can barely feed themselves.

Ok, here's your freaking citation

Link (new window)

I have nothing against Buddhism it basically kicks Christianity's ass.

 
MadTheologian 2009-04-12 02:18:03 PM  
eqtworld: opiumpoopy: eqtworld: Was he wearing his robe, wizard hat (and golden scepter) when he said that?

Dude, you have to admit that he looks the part.

I understand this religion thing: best beard and hat wins.

I don't even know where to buy a hat that comes close : (


Here's the place where Mr Theologian purchases his clerical shirts: CM Almy (new window) They sell vestments for bishops, and you can request a free catalog just for these vestments (new window).

Alas, our head dude of our church body (new window) is clean-shaven and we wonder what the frell is his modus operandi...srsly.

BTW...a word of caution for any Lutheran Farkers, especially the second career: You will have to pay to attend the seminaries, get the books, and your wives will have to be breadwinners for four years. The pool of available parishes is small...you may be lucky to even get a call at a parish in Chicken Scratch, Nebraska.

 
Syphilis_Smile 2009-04-12 02:20:21 PM  
Great, time to become a Manichean.. Thank's Archduke Chocula!

 
attackingpencil 2009-04-12 02:21:12 PM  
MadTheologian:

A little bit of a personal question, are you a minister in Missouri?

 
Kierkegaard's Pseudonym 2009-04-12 02:26:25 PM  
Jesus offers deceptively low introductory rates, but he nails you on the overages.

 
MadTheologian 2009-04-12 02:30:52 PM  
attackingpencil: MadTheologian:

A little bit of a personal question, are you a minister in Missouri?


Nah, I'm a wife of a retired Lutheran minister in Indiana. (He went to the sem in St Louis years ago, tho'.)

 
attackingpencil 2009-04-12 02:31:59 PM  
MadTheologian: attackingpencil: MadTheologian:

A little bit of a personal question, are you a minister in Missouri?

Nah, I'm a wife of a retired Lutheran minister in Indiana. (He went to the sem in St Louis years ago, tho'.)


ah, ok. A friend of mine here at U of C is a Lutheran minister from St. Louis.

 
henryhill 2009-04-12 02:36:15 PM  
the upside of a bad economy

 
MadTheologian 2009-04-12 02:37:36 PM  
attackingpencil: MadTheologian: attackingpencil: MadTheologian:

A little bit of a personal question, are you a minister in Missouri?

Nah, I'm a wife of a retired Lutheran minister in Indiana. (He went to the sem in St Louis years ago, tho'.)

ah, ok. A friend of mine here at U of C is a Lutheran minister from St. Louis.


Maybe my husband might know your buddy, especially if the guy has graduated from Concordia Seminary in St Louis during the late 60s.

 
MadTheologian 2009-04-12 02:42:11 PM  
eqtworld: I want one of these:


[MITRE PIC]


Now THAT is a hat!


Be prepared to hear some tin-foil "ZOMG ANTICHRIST" wharrgarbl (new window) from the splinter Adventist/fundie set.

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-12 03:14:14 PM  
bugmn99: I'm founding a chili and bacon monastery. First dozen people to join me get an awesome hat.

I can see it now: a chili and bacon monastery that supports itself selling great food at a roadside shack in the middle of nowhere. Beer, too.

There is no god but chili.

 
Braindeath 2009-04-12 03:19:08 PM  
bugmn99: Obnox: I could get into being a monk. A private room, a nice snuggie, running a craft brewery or making fine wine. The main downside is having to get up at dawn and sing stupid songs.

Do they get to drink the beer they make? I've also heard of monasteries where they make cheese, chocolate, artisan bread, fruitcake and egg nog. I think I could deak with that.

I'm founding a chili and bacon monastery. First dozen people to join me get an awesome hat.


If Green Arrow is your mascot, I'm in. I want his hat please.

 
blick [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 03:24:10 PM  
no thank you.
if i wanted a gay or pedophiliac lifestyle i'd just commit a crime and land in jail for a few months to learn the ropes rather than go through the hassle of becoming a priest and living in a monastery..

 
Dialectic 2009-04-12 03:32:44 PM  
Did you ever see a monk get wildly farked by some teenage girls?

I didn't so either. Go sell your advice somewhere else, padre!

 
Tenebreux 2009-04-12 04:30:44 PM  
Mentat: So, after years of promoting a destructive "prosperity doctrine" that's left your congregation destitute, now you promote monasticism? I presume this philosophy will only survive until credit starts flowing again.

Prosperity Doctrine is an American invention.

 
Wizard Drongo 2009-04-12 04:49:11 PM  
Obnox: I could get into being a monk. A private room, a nice snuggie, running a craft brewery or making fine wine. The main downside is having to get up at dawn and sing stupid songs.

I concur. Indeed, if we could find a pagan oriented (or at least pagan-friendly) commune that accepts couples, me & missus would be there...
As long as they take dogs and I can keep my Macbook that is....

Craft brewing, wine-making, cider-making, even a bit of whisky distilling (on the quiet), some farming, I could finally have the space (and lack of annoying whinging neighbours) to get into metalworkng, jewellery-making and carpentry, some herbalism for the missus, maybe some pottery if given the chance, sell our wares for what small amount of outside stuff we'd need...
Don't suppose anyone's got some land, maybe even with some crofts on, going spare have they, for me and 20-30 of my fairly-close pagan friends...
If it's anything to you, I'm sure we'd all be a LOT closer after the first batch of mead's done on Beltane...
I'm willing to share...the mead that is ;)

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 06:29:39 PM  
gozar_the_destroyer: "Pie Iesu Domine. Dona Eis Requiem."



\hotlinked


BONK!

 
Cosmic Crab 2009-04-12 07:31:02 PM  
Bestbank Tiger: CrispFlows: Corporate Mofo: fers the Pixies to Te Deum, though

What exactly is the benefits you can derive from a monastic lifestyle?
/ Seriously, I really do not have a clue

Well, your basic material needs are taken care of.
The downside is never getting laid. So basically, most Farkers are monks already.


Oh, I don't know. If it's a Canterbury Tales type monastic life, there's at least a chance.

 
altinos 2009-04-12 07:39:38 PM  
Wizard Drongo: I concur. Indeed, if we could find a pagan oriented (or at least pagan-friendly) commune that accepts couples, me & missus would be there...
As long as they take dogs and I can keep my Macbook that is....

Craft brewing, wine-making, cider-making, even a bit of whisky distilling (on the quiet), some farming, I could finally have the space (and lack of annoying whinging neighbours) to get into metalworkng, jewellery-making and carpentry, some herbalism for the missus, maybe some pottery if given the chance, sell our wares for what small amount of outside stuff we'd need...
Don't suppose anyone's got some land, maybe even with some crofts on, going spare have they, for me and 20-30 of my fairly-close pagan friends...
If it's anything to you, I'm sure we'd all be a LOT closer after the first batch of mead's done on Beltane...
I'm willing to share...the mead that is ;)


I wonder if that's what the artists are doing buying up all the cheap houses in Detroit...

 
Mongo cut wood 2009-04-13 08:18:33 AM  
My pastor does not use Credit Cards and believes in paying as you go. My pastor's example and message here is to live as debt free as possible.

Mentat: So, after years of promoting a destructive "prosperity doctrine" that's left your congregation destitute, now you promote monasticism? I presume this philosophy will only survive until credit starts flowing again.

Right, cause the Church ruined the economy for millions of atheists now out of work. Banks being forced to buy toxic assets so politicians can appease the poor for votes had nothing to do with it.

 
ttintagel 2009-04-13 08:32:32 AM  
Heck, I'd do it in a heartbeat if it really was just a "lifestyle" and there was none of that pesky God business involved. I'd be a kickass nun.

Sister Mary Atheist. I like it.

 
Wizard Drongo 2009-04-13 12:26:55 PM  
ttintagel: Heck, I'd do it in a heartbeat if it really was just a "lifestyle" and there was none of that pesky God business involved. I'd be a kickass nun.

Sister Mary Atheist. I like it.


How *you* doin?

 
ShonenBat 2009-04-13 07:22:57 PM  
www.independent.co.uk

Too late for religion thread?

 
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