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(London Times) Amusing Suddenly an out-of-wedlock pregnant daughter doesn't seem so bad   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 93
More: Amusing  
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10340 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Apr 2009 at 4:59 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

93 Comments   (+0 »)


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Doublek111 2009-04-12 01:32:06 AM  
Nice family lineage.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:40:57 AM  
I'll wait to see how sexy the 13 year old was before I pass judgement.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:53:47 AM  
He's President Barack Obama alleged half-brother. In fact in his memoirs, President Obama says he doubts Abo (aka Samson) is the biological son of Barack Obama, Sr.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 01:58:49 AM  
Bathia_Mapes: He's President Barack Obama alleged half-brother. In fact in his memoirs, President Obama says he doubts Abo (aka Samson) is the biological son of Barack Obama, Sr.

Why don't you go find a parade and rain on it, killjoy. Maybe a nearby child has just been given a lollipop, and you can spit at them.

/jk. Although not a bad idea in any case.

 
Kyosuke [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 02:07:08 AM  
An alleged half-brother allegedly did something bad. Allegedly.

Well that's enough for me. Let's impeach Obama right now!

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 02:09:02 AM  
colatf: Why don't you go find a parade and rain on it, killjoy. Maybe a nearby child has just been given a lollipop, and you can spit at them.

/jk. Although not a bad idea in any case.


The Bathia_Mapes proscript can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop, ever, until all fallacies are crushed and all repeat headlines terminated.

/dun dun dun DA DUN

 
simsite9 [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 02:34:36 AM  
He may be a half-brother, he may be a rapist, but this only happened because no one preached abstinence to him.

 
Your Faith is Creepy [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 03:54:54 AM  
This is bad news... for Obamas.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 04:17:50 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw: colatf: Why don't you go find a parade and rain on it, killjoy. Maybe a nearby child has just been given a lollipop, and you can spit at them.

/jk. Although not a bad idea in any case.

The Bathia_Mapes proscript can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop, ever, until all fallacies are crushed and all repeat headlines terminated.

/dun dun dun DA DUN


Aww man! I thought the wires were just a gimmick! Little did I know.

 
Procedural Texture [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-12 04:29:22 AM  
Did the President raise this child?

 
JohnnyC 2009-04-12 04:30:37 AM  
FTA: Details on the database suggested that he was the same man who had been arrested by police in Berkshire after approaching a group of young girls, including a 13 year-old, and allegedly trying to sexually assault one of them, the News of the World reported.

He then followed the girls into a cafe where he became aggressive and was asked to leave by the owner. Police were called and Samson was arrested. He reportedly gave officers false identification details and supplied his mother's address in Bracknell.


Okay... From the way this reads it sounds like he saw a group of hot girls (one of which was 13). He approaches the girls and hits on them. They blow him off and walk into a cafe. He follows them in, the girls complain and the cafe owner throws him out. He gets mad about it and the owner calls the cops. The cops come and for whatever reason, he gives a fake name and the first address he can think of. Then he disappears... not to be seen again until he was passing through later on... only this time he has some false document. The article doesn't say why he had a false document.

In any case... he wasn't charged. So it couldn't have been that serious and it sounds like they made a big deal out of it because ONE of the girls was 13. Too bad the article doesn't specify how old the other "young girls" were. Maybe they were all 18 except that one girl? Hard to say.

That's assuming the database is correct and he is the person from the original police report.

What do you think? Do you think it was all more nefarious than my theory? If so, why?

 
randomjsa 2009-04-12 05:06:19 AM  
As the resident opponent of the Chosen One, I don't really care.

Unless we're making some kind of amusing comparison in which bad choices by your family members are somehow bad choices you made as was done to Sarah Pailin...

But no, I still don't care.

 
Random Reality Check 2009-04-12 05:06:55 AM  
If there was a crime committed, why wasn't this guy arrested?
What the hell is this all about if they didn't arrest the guy?
How can anyone even claim there is a crime?

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:10:49 AM  
non story. no charges filed. nothing to see here. try again Rupert.

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-04-12 05:10:52 AM  
Bathia_Mapes: He's President Barack Obama alleged half-brother. In fact in his memoirs, President Obama says he doubts Abo (aka Samson) is the biological son of Barack Obama, Sr.

Doesn't matter.

As long as there is the slightest chance of a blood connection, Obama is automatically guilty, as responsibility is genetically inherited.

At least, that's what I learned on Fark.

 
Harry_Seldon 2009-04-12 05:12:35 AM  
Meh...

bloodthirstyliberal.com

//hotlinked

 
crab66 2009-04-12 05:14:29 AM  
The spin on this is already making my head hurt.

Some guy who might be related to the president didn't really do anything?


Fox News headline about Obama's Sex crazed white girl loving pedophile brother incoming.

 
JohnnyC 2009-04-12 05:15:01 AM  
randomjsa: as was done to Sarah Pailin...

You should write her a letter or something. Tell her how much you care. I'm sure she would appreciate that. Maybe you could send her some flowers. That would be nice. :)

 
spookybee 2009-04-12 05:18:36 AM  
every family has a douchebag. theres no way we can be held responsible for what some moron relative does. Or none of us would have jobs! I have a crazy puerto rican aunt, darker than night time to a blind man, who dyes her hair blonde/orange, married a man that tried to date her daughter and works as a party clown. my father is an ex gang member, drug dealer and pimp.

moral of the story is: if you can't think of one douche in your family, then its you.

 
DarjeelingWanderer 2009-04-12 05:19:21 AM  
Of course, it wasn't solely the fact she was pregnant. It's that her mother subscribes to a particular view of sex education that she couldn't even get to work at home, yet wanted to apply to the entire nation. That'd be why Bristol was a big deal... you know, as an example of the pure FAIL that Sarah Palin's approach is.

Yeah, but let's not let that get in the way of some more WHARRRGARBL.

 
starsrift 2009-04-12 05:27:07 AM  
I can't wait to see how this plays in Freeperland.

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2009-04-12 05:34:41 AM  
...or a sister-in-law busted for B&E, or your illegitimate grandson's other grandmother selling oxys, or....

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2009-04-12 05:36:43 AM  
starsrift: I can't wait to see how this plays in Freeperland.

I think I'll wait for Glenn Beck on this one. He's my new Stupid Gauge.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:36:53 AM  
randomjsa: As the resident opponent of the Chosen One, I don't really care.

Unless we're making some kind of amusing comparison in which bad choices by your family members are somehow bad choices you made as was done to Sarah Pailin...

But no, I still don't care.


For you (NSFW language, new window)

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:40:41 AM  
IT'S BECAUSE OBAMA IS BLACK.


That is all.

/well, that and maybe also that he is part of the Democrat [sic] Party
//but It's mostly the black thing

 
Brubold 2009-04-12 05:48:12 AM  
An alleged sexual attack gets an Amusing tag? Seriously, Subby?

I'm all for the argument that this story will illustrate that what a politician's family members do doesn't necessarily reflect on the politician. I'm all for pointing out that that's what the Obama faithful will be saying now after loving the stories about Palin's kids, pregnancy, husband, clothing and probably her pet goldfish's crack habit.

However, I don't find sexual assault Amusing.

 
Cog [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:52:29 AM  
JohnnyC: FTA: Details on the database suggested that he was the same man who had been arrested by police in Berkshire after approaching a group of young girls, including a 13 year-old, and allegedly trying to sexually assault one of them, the News of the World reported.

He then followed the girls into a cafe where he became aggressive and was asked to leave by the owner. Police were called and Samson was arrested. He reportedly gave officers false identification details and supplied his mother's address in Bracknell.

Okay... From the way this reads it sounds like he saw a group of hot girls (one of which was 13). He approaches the girls and hits on them. They blow him off and walk into a cafe. He follows them in, the girls complain and the cafe owner throws him out. He gets mad about it and the owner calls the cops. The cops come and for whatever reason, he gives a fake name and the first address he can think of. Then he disappears... not to be seen again until he was passing through later on... only this time he has some false document. The article doesn't say why he had a false document.

In any case... he wasn't charged. So it couldn't have been that serious and it sounds like they made a big deal out of it because ONE of the girls was 13. Too bad the article doesn't specify how old the other "young girls" were. Maybe they were all 18 except that one girl? Hard to say.

That's assuming the database is correct and he is the person from the original police report.

What do you think? Do you think it was all more nefarious than my theory? If so, why?


Typical. Blame the victim.

 
spamdog [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:52:56 AM  
Brubold: I'm all for pointing out that that's what the Obama faithful will be saying now after loving the stories about Palin's kids, pregnancy, husband, clothing and probably her pet goldfish's crack habit.

Is this the thread where we martyr ourselves for Sarah Palin?

You go, internet white knights.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:55:30 AM  
Brubold: However, I don't find sexual assault Amusing.

So it's just a job to you?

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 05:56:01 AM  
Brubold: I don't find sexual assault Amusing.

Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.

/why do you think they call him Porky?
//I know what you're gonna say - "Elmer was asking for it."

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2009-04-12 05:57:06 AM  
Brubold:
However, I don't find sexual assault Amusing.


Not even if he wore a clown suit?

 
spamdog [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 06:02:10 AM  
Bathia_Mapes: Abo (aka Samson)

Abo? Really?

abo

Slang for Aboriginal, native to the Australian continent

 
USP .45 2009-04-12 06:05:23 AM  
King Something: IT'S BECAUSE OBAMA IS BLACK.

The fact that he's the President, and is arguably the political focal point for the known universe, may, just may have more to do with it.

 
spamdog [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 06:09:21 AM  
USP .45: The fact that he's the President

I think he was joking bro.

 
Podna 2009-04-12 06:24:57 AM  
Lenny_da_Hog: Brubold:
However, I don't find sexual assault Amusing.

Not even if he wore a clown suit?


img412.imageshack.us

 
JohnnyC 2009-04-12 06:32:35 AM  
Cog: Typical. Blame the victim.

If there is no charge, there is no victim; there is only a complaint. If there was no charge, there was no crime committed.

But essentially you're saying, he's guilty of sexual assault? Even though he wasn't even guilty enough to be charged with a crime.

Based on your "typical" comment... Sounds like anyone who even considers that someone might be innocent until proven guilty when the words "sexual assault" are thrown around is "blaming the victim". Sorry... I'm not the knee jerk type who automatically assumes someone is guilty just because someone complains about them.

/was once falsely accused of sexual assault
//because I turned her down for sex...
///let me guess... I'm "blaming the victim" again.

 
flannelled fool 2009-04-12 06:34:02 AM  
Podna: Not even if he wore a clown suit?

Just found an interesting article at PJMedia that describes you:

The Droll - The mainstay of all fun sites, this poster regularly tosses out clever comments, plays of words, one-liners, amusing pictures. There's a lot of these characters on places like Fark.com


After reading I decided that Fark suffers from a lack of 'The Slut' and 'The Tomboy' types.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 06:41:41 AM  
flannelled fool: an interesting article at PJMedia

Shenanigans.

 
Tripp Johnston Private Eye 2009-04-12 06:45:04 AM  
spamdog: Bathia_Mapes: Abo (aka Samson)

Abo? Really?

abo

Slang for Aboriginal, native to the Australian continent



Great, now Barack's an AUSTRALIAN secret muslin?

/this big ball of conspiracy theories will eventually bring him down if we YELL LOUD ENOUGH

 
crab66 2009-04-12 06:49:40 AM  
Sexual assault automatically gets associated with rape in peoples minds.

Even though it's often used as a blanket term for even remotely sexual crimes.

Sex offender lists are a witch hunt.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-04-12 06:55:53 AM  
crab66: Sexual assault automatically gets associated with rape in peoples minds.

Even though it's often used as a blanket term for even remotely sexual crimes.

Sex offender lists are a witch hunt.


Any law which has the name Megan (or variant spellings thereof) even remotely associated with it is automatically a bad one.

 
beoswulf 2009-04-12 06:57:02 AM  
JohnnyC: Cog: Typical. Blame the victim.

If there is no charge, there is no victim; there is only a complaint. If there was no charge, there was no crime committed.

But essentially you're saying, he's guilty of sexual assault? Even though he wasn't even guilty enough to be charged with a crime.

Based on your "typical" comment... Sounds like anyone who even considers that someone might be innocent until proven guilty when the words "sexual assault" are thrown around is "blaming the victim". Sorry... I'm not the knee jerk type who automatically assumes someone is guilty just because someone complains about them.

/was once falsely accused of sexual assault
//because I turned her down for sex...
///let me guess... I'm "blaming the victim" again.


Most attacks just feel they are entitled to a white girl, especially some white biatch that dissed then in front of everybody, they feel the need to put her in her place. See that all the time, and often enough the family of the victim will wish the incident to go away in cases where the accused have powerful relatives.

 
Podna 2009-04-12 06:57:10 AM  
crab66: Sexual assault automatically gets associated with rape in peoples minds.

Even though it's often used as a blanket term for even remotely sexual crimes.

Sex offender lists are a witch hunt.


Also are they not actually unconstitutional as well?
They need to change how they go about doing these things
rankings or something like "Type A = aggravated sexual assault" Type L = pissing behind a bar"

 
Is_What_It_Is 2009-04-12 06:58:04 AM  
Wow. A black dude with a half-brother--shocking. Everyone knows that the definition of mass confusion is Detroit on Father's Day. Next.

 
Erebus1954 2009-04-12 07:19:45 AM  
Obama's brother is a child molester, that sucks. And what's with the phony papers?

 
itsneat 2009-04-12 07:21:13 AM  
Barak Obama is not his brother's keeper. His half brother is an adult.
Sara Palin IS her daughter's keeper (family values and all that) at least until the child is of legal age. It was the hypocracy that was stunning in that case, to claim that this country lacks in moral fiber and wallows in indulgence, and then to see those same issues become such a media circus in her own "little sphere".
At any rate, it's her own personal cross to carry. Both are really non-stories.

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-04-12 07:40:45 AM  
Kyosuke: An alleged half-brother allegedly did something bad. Allegedly.

Well that's enough for me. Let's impeach Obama right now!


REVOLUTION CALLING!!!1

 
glave27 2009-04-12 07:43:38 AM  
Came for Billy Beer.
Leaves happy.

 
chipspastic 2009-04-12 07:43:44 AM  
Meh. Another presidential sibling (new window) for the press.

 
TheRaven7 2009-04-12 07:52:37 AM  
The next person who says "Rape is funny" and then chortles "yeah that George Carlin was spot on about everything" deserves a motherfarking cockpunch. Not only was George Carlin an epic moron and wrong about pretty much everything, this one quote makes me want to run his corpse through a shredder.

People that do everything in their power to desensitize people to rape, or perpetuate the idea that rape isn't a big deal and that victims are just whiners who were asking for it need to be killed, preferably with a nailgun into the eye. This includes everyone from prison guards, to any random douchebag Guido, to that church lady who is piously unsympathetic to the "hussies".

Rape is possibly the most heinous and disgusting crimes one could possibly commit, especially sense it is almost always incredibly violent. And to idiots that will claim that "random rapes don't really happen", farking Google it, asshole. I happen to have an old classmate who was literally destroyed by some random farkwad at the library. She has been going in and out of a coma, is totally blind, and cannot speak, and has been this way for months. Half her face was broken in. This was some random guy she's never met, it wasn't like she was at a bar/party and you can say "omg she was totally looking to get laid". Her insurance ran out months ago and has been moving from one rehab center to the next getting kicked out from each one.

And if you or someone you know is a prison guard, tell them to either man up and start preventing prison rapes or, if they refuse, kill themselves with a rusty rod up their ass.

/endrant

 
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