Show up when you feel like it. Don't kill people, steal, or be an ass in general.

It'd be a lot like Thursday nights at your favorite bar/club.

BYOB

It'd be one of those old Greek ones where hot young women would lounge around naked all day and have sex with everyone for their god.

I would just go with a real-life implementation of Bokononism.

Secret Agent X23: I would just go with a real-life implementation of Bokononism.

i came to say something like this. mayhap we are of the same karass? :)

naptime would be required each and every day

The men would have to give me money, and the womens would have to make me food, tell me how great I am, and let me feel their boobs.

There would be a lot of cupcakes available.

rava: naptime would be required each and every day

Amen, sister!

rava: naptime would be required each and every day

what about recess?


/i miss recess.

I call it "The Brewery".

You can't even think about giving a sermon until you have had 12 beers.

Starryeyes: rava: naptime would be required each and every day

what about recess?


/i miss recess.

recess and naptime. and hugz.

rava: recess and naptime. and hugz.

Whip 'em out, rava. You know my church is superior.

Beer and boobs.

eqtworld: You can create your own religion if you want to.

Stop being lazy.

This needed voting.

Sex, drugs and Rock& Roll. But mostly sex.

/and comment voting
//and booze
///and more sex
////preferably with Japanese twins

King Something: Sex, drugs and Rock& Roll. But mostly sex.

/and comment voting
//and booze
///and more sex
////preferably with Japanese twins

Where do I sign up?

Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have STDs.

No fundies allowed.

PFRboy: You can't even think about giving a sermon until you have had 12 beers.

I read this as "You can'te even think about giving semen until you have had 12 beers."

I think both rules could apply harmoniously.

tin_man: Whip 'em out, rava. You know my church is superior.

not unless im sure you're my savior

I'm lazy. I'd just bring back the roman pantheon and the feasts that go with it.

We should, as a matter of principle, fight to the death to protect our beautifully crafted, hand made electric heater mantles.

The church would look like the clock tower from Back to the Future, and the only music allowed would be heavy metal at appropriate volume. Instead of pews, there would be movie theatre seats. Instead of church bells, a PA system would play the guitar solo from "2 Minutes To Midnight".

I already invented it. It's better known as the Church of What's Happening Now.

rava: tin_man: Whip 'em out, rava. You know my church is superior.

not unless im sure you're my savior

I've got expanded basic cable.

Sgygus: Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have STDs.

So earth?

tin_man: rava: tin_man: Whip 'em out, rava. You know my church is superior.

not unless im sure you're my savior

I've got expanded basic cable.

gonna need more than that, darlin

rava: tin_man: rava: tin_man: Whip 'em out, rava. You know my church is superior.

not unless im sure you're my savior

I've got expanded basic cable.

gonna need more than that, darlin

I've got my own car.

Every Sunday would be a holiday with wine, fish, and bread for all. The kids could play outside if sunny, or inside if not. And everyone would be welcome, as long as they had bathe and wore clean clothes.

1. Don't fark with anyone who doesn't fark with you first. If someone does fark with you, and getting even is in your own best interest, then do so with extreme caution.

2. All music is an experience of the soul. Whatever your tastes are, enjoy it to the fullest.

3. Have fun, but not at the expense of having fun tomorrow. While it may be a blast to spend all your money on booze and hookers and video games, it's hard to have fun when without any light or when you get evicted. So eat, drink, and be merry...but pay your god damn rent! You have your whole life, but you only have this one. Have fun, but not at the expense of having fun tomorrow.

4. Whatever beliefs you may have, feel free to explain to those who are interested. However, not everyone is. Leave those alone who do not share your beliefs.

I'm actually working on codifying all of this to start my own religion...sort of a long-term "I'm bored" project. But those are the basics I've come up with so far...

It would have one Commandment: BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT AND SHUT THE FARK UP ABOUT IT.

/You are all forgiven for your sins, no leave me alone.

Sgygus: Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have STDs.

ninjakirby: So earth?

Earth lies between heaven and hell. We can get fresh beer but our strippers do have STDs.

The only rule: Don't be so gullible, McFly.

Roook: It'd be one of those old Greek ones where hot young women would lounge around naked all day and have sex with everyone for their god.

Baltar? Is that you??

One where you are respectful of others opinions, rights and freedoms; try to get along and learn from each other, advance science and get the hell off the planet.

Each week you meet for feasting, drinking and joke telling.

Makh: One where you are respectful of others opinions, rights and freedoms; try to get along and learn from each other, advance science and get the hell off the planet.

Each week you meet for feasting, drinking and joke telling.

Chaka Chan would lead the choir

DeCypher44: Makh: One where you are respectful of others opinions, rights and freedoms; try to get along and learn from each other, advance science and get the hell off the planet.

Each week you meet for feasting, drinking and joke telling.

Hey, if you feel the need to interpret it that way when you leave, don't let me cramp your style.

/Too bad you may miss the joke telling and the feast.

The church of the golden boobies.



And I expect a 20% tithe.

There will be math....

basemetal: The church of the golden boobies.

Now, this is a religion that I can get behind (and in front of, and beneath, and on top of).

We would openly and consistently persecute liters for being inferior and the antithesis of what our Lord God intended. We would feed them to lions, and we would enslave them for all eternity because they're basically just retards who don't brush their teeth. We wouldn't have to ban them from getting married because they're too stupid to know how to procreate.

El Chode: We would openly and consistently persecute liters for being inferior and the antithesis of what our Lord God intended. We would feed them to lions, and we would enslave them for all eternity because they're basically just retards who don't brush their teeth. We wouldn't have to ban them from getting married because they're too stupid to know how to procreate.

dude. seriously. Grow the hell up.

Yeah though I art a shark, Though seeist I art a shark, SUCK MY DIIIK I ART A SHARK.

Makh: One where you are respectful of others opinions, rights and freedoms; try to get along and learn from each other, advance science and get the hell off the planet.

Each week you meet for feasting, drinking and joke telling.

Not bad.

I've already got a Judeo-offshoot going, the Church of the Holy Sacrament. We believe that cannabis sativa was provided by God as both an all-purpose utility plant (medicine, clothing, food, shelter, you name it) and to be consumed to bring one's mind closer to God that you might attain a deeper communion.

Take a wild guess as to the high holy day.

The Ten Commandments of the Church of Lorelle

1. Love one another.
2. Commandment 1 doesn't apply if the others happen to be assholes.
3. Don't steal other people's stuff, including lame jokes.
4. Don't kill people. Beating the crap out of others is OK if they truly deserve it.
5. Don't harass the poor, elderly, handicapped, or mentally challenged. This includes Republicans.
6. Be kind to animals that you don't intend to eat.
7. Don't drive slow in the fast lane.
8. Don't be a hypocrite. Practice what you preach.
9. Live your life to the fullest. Don't let the bastards drag you down.
10. Use birth control if you don't want kids.

Official holidays:
- Valentine's Day, February 14
- The last Saturday in August shall be reserved for celebrating the end of summer and the beginning of football season.

No formal church services. Sunday mornings should be spent lazily loafing in bed, not sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench listening to someone drone on and on about ancient myths.

Worship them!