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(UPI) Scary "Breaker, breaker one nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. How many folks you killed this week, come back"   (upi.com) divider line 59
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Rohasman 2009-04-05 12:18:48 PM  
"You've got a mobile crime scene," one investigator said. "You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

But not without leaving a smell in the cab that warns off the next one, so dump 'em soon!

 
boobsrgood [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 12:18:51 PM  
Thank God.

 
tdpatriots12 2009-04-05 12:19:14 PM  
[Truckers Sam and "Buffalo Bill" attempt a dangerous tandem braking maneuver.]
Sam: Alrighty, I'm coming up on your mudflaps at 67.
Crow: "Coming up on your mudflaps." People have such cute names for sex.
Mike [as Sam]: Ma' well-oiled chassis is comin' up on yer backside, now.
Servo [as Sam]: My rigid grill structure is bearin' down on yer unprotected cargo door.
Crow [as Sam]: My oft-complimented Peterbilt is rhythmically nudging that sweet honey pot of yours-
Mike, Servo: Ugh- Crow!

 
peon36 2009-04-05 12:20:32 PM  
"You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

That is a long time to be driving with a corpse.

 
tbell83 2009-04-05 12:20:47 PM  
number-17.com

called it.

 
Rohasman 2009-04-05 12:22:34 PM  
On a more serious note, the FBI expects the existence of 1 to 24 serial killers operating within the borders of the US at any one time. Probably to justify the continued existence of the serial killer unit(s) in between killings, but the thought is creepy enough as it is. That the constant mobility and anonymity of the truckers life would appeal to one or more of these hypothetical terrors is no surprise, except, possibly, to the FBI, and their screenwriters.

 
Oldiron_79 2009-04-05 12:23:14 PM  
Ye olde news. The I 40 Oklahoma killer was doing his thing even back when I was driving over the road like in '03-'07.

If I'm not mistaken he was supposed to be driving a yellow Peterbuilt with a tweety bird sticker on it.

 
CnFlght 2009-04-05 12:23:16 PM  
peon36: "You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

That is a long time to be driving with a corpse.


Most states in NE you can drive through in an hour or two.

 
Bonanza Jellybean 2009-04-05 12:26:52 PM  
tdpatriots12: [Truckers Sam and "Buffalo Bill" attempt a dangerous tandem braking maneuver.]
Sam: Alrighty, I'm coming up on your mudflaps at 67.
Crow: "Coming up on your mudflaps." People have such cute names for sex.
Mike [as Sam]: Ma' well-oiled chassis is comin' up on yer backside, now.
Servo [as Sam]: My rigid grill structure is bearin' down on yer unprotected cargo door.
Crow [as Sam]: My oft-complimented Peterbilt is rhythmically nudging that sweet honey pot of yours-
Mike, Servo: Ugh- Crow!


You are as elusive as Robert Denby!

 
tehotherbilly 2009-04-05 12:28:21 PM  
Well, you have to feed that goddamned monkey something...

img135.imageshack.us

 
skinink 2009-04-05 12:28:42 PM  

"Candy Cane? Hey anybody know a Candy Cane? "


And for good measure, Leelee Sobieski:


4.bp.blogspot.com


 
portscanner 2009-04-05 12:29:45 PM  
Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways.

 
Inigo 2009-04-05 12:31:45 PM  
tbell83: called it.
Change gear, change gear, mirrors, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, change gear, murder...

 
assimilateur 2009-04-05 12:32:25 PM  
"You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

This sounds awfully like a how-to, don't you think?

 
chewd 2009-04-05 12:33:51 PM  
"Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

 
Puddy 2009-04-05 12:36:15 PM  
portscanner: Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways.

Good luck with that

 
Oldiron_79 2009-04-05 12:39:13 PM  
portscanner: Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways.

Not unless you can convince everyone to do without food or clothes, or you want rail lines going to every little store everywhere where you'd have to cross like 20 train tracks(you could get stuck at) to go a mile.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 12:40:29 PM  
Killin' ho's again!
Just can't wait to be killin' ho's again!
Got to dump the corpse in some place I've never been,
I just can't wait to be killin' ho's again!

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-04-05 12:40:46 PM  
chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.


Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 12:43:58 PM  
portscanner: Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways.

Please. Driving a big moving van down I-40, I was far more afraid of the rice rockets than the truckers. The truckers were respectful and sane. The drivers of the little cars didn't quite seem to grasp the concept of a 1 ton truck not being able to slow down very quickly at highway speeds. I was cut off so many times by some piss-any sedan that would have ceased to exist if I had hit them. Fark regular drivers, I'll take my chances with the truckers.

 
holmer 2009-04-05 12:44:10 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.


Until you get to the local and in some places state level.

 
tdpatriots12 2009-04-05 12:44:25 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.

[Citation Needed]

 
ilovelucky 2009-04-05 12:44:34 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.


How do you get your khakis from the rail yard to The Gap?

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 12:45:18 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.


Not really. The rails are saturated at the moment and good luck getting any new ones built thanks to NIMBYism. Your best bet is more fuel-efficient trucks.

 
bel4sucks 2009-04-05 12:46:48 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.


Newsflash: how the f*ck is it supposed to get from the railyard to the f*cking store.

 
Oldiron_79 2009-04-05 12:47:07 PM  
ilovelucky: Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.

How do you get your khakis from the rail yard to The Gap?


They have to build a spur line to the GAP and you have to cross more roads with rFail road tracks where it farks up traffic for everybody.

 
Oldiron_79 2009-04-05 12:48:15 PM  
Mentat:
Not really. The rails are saturated at the moment and good luck getting any new ones built thanks to NIMBYism. Your best bet is more fuel-efficient trucks.


THIS

 
British 2009-04-05 12:48:30 PM  
Kurt Russell, answer the white courtesy phone.

 
starlost 2009-04-05 12:53:36 PM  
for some reason i get the feeling the fbi doesn't care or know male prostitutes and hitchhikers go missing too.

how about changing "You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

to "You can pick a person up......

 
Aamelrons 2009-04-05 12:53:56 PM  
When I was hauling PoS fuel down in O.O I would constantly annoy my corp mates by going
"Breaker, breaker, this is rubber ducky, I've got the golden egg and I'm ready to nest, over."
Them. K, warp and dock system is safe.
Me- Can you repeat that again, didn't hear over, over.
THem. Just get here
Me- What was that? Over
Them- I hate you
Me- What? Over
Them- Just shut up


imagine that going on EVERY time.

 
Bucklebuck 2009-04-05 12:58:04 PM  

 
Aulus [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 12:59:59 PM  
Back twenty-some years ago, when I was a claims adjuster for Crawford & Company, our assistant claims manager had an interesting truck accident claim.

This trucker and his co-driver picked up a hooker at a truck stop one night. The driver was driving while the co-driver was in the sleeper compartment with the hooker. Unfortunately, the driver hit a slick spot on the road and jack-knifed the rig. When it did that, the exterior door of the sleeper compartment popped open and both the co-driver and the hooker were ejected, bare-assed naked onto the pavement. Both had pavement burns in interesting places.

 
DogsInBathtub 2009-04-05 01:04:22 PM  
bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.

Newsflash: how the f*ck is it supposed to get from the railyard to the f*cking store.


Maybe by alternate roads other than the highway?

 
LedZeppelinRule [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 01:08:00 PM  
Oldiron_79: They have to build a spur line to the GAP and you have to cross more roads with rFail road tracks where it farks up traffic for everybody.

Sort of... it used to be towns grew up near lines, or spur lines went out to towns, and smaller local trucking would take things to stores. That's actually a better system than what we have now in terms of energy efficiency.

You're right that it's unfeasible in a lot of places today. Most local lines are torn up or disused and too much urban sprawl has taken place where no rail exist. Between NIMBY and Rail Trails, you'd have a hard time getting anything like the rail system we used to have up and running. It's a shame in my opinion.

 
mythias2600 [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 01:11:58 PM  
Candy Cane? Hey anybody know a Candy Cane?

 
BiblioTech [TotalFark] 2009-04-05 01:14:24 PM  
peon36: "You can pick a girl up on the East Coast, kill her two states away and then dump her three states after that."

That is a long time to be driving with a corpse.


Kind of depends on the states doesn't it? Some of those East Coast states are pretty darn small. Yeah, Delaware, I'm looking at you.

 
GonzoNihilist 2009-04-05 01:28:19 PM  
tbell83: called it.

Good work Sir.

 
Sinn 2009-04-05 01:51:32 PM  
Aamelrons: When I was hauling PoS fuel down in O.O I would constantly annoy my corp mates by going
"Breaker, breaker, this is rubber ducky, I've got the golden egg and I'm ready to nest, over."
Them. K, warp and dock system is safe.
Me- Can you repeat that again, didn't hear over, over.
THem. Just get here
Me- What was that? Over
Them- I hate you
Me- What? Over
Them- Just shut up


imagine that going on EVERY time.


I'd have kicked you out of my corp and put a bounty on you for that :)

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-04-05 01:55:50 PM  
ilovelucky: How do you get your khakis from the rail yard to The Gap?

bel4sucks: Newsflash: how the f*ck is it supposed to get from the railyard to the f*cking store.

Short-haul trucks. The Gap doesn't use 18-wheelers to deliver to its stores.

LedZeppelinRule: You're right that it's unfeasible in a lot of places today. Most local lines are torn up or disused and too much urban sprawl has taken place where no rail exist. Between NIMBY and Rail Trails, you'd have a hard time getting anything like the rail system we used to have up and running. It's a shame in my opinion.

All the rail trails out there can be reconverted to railroad, believe or not. When they're built, the railroad which owns the right-of-way doesn't give it up; it just temporarily cedes it to the municipality. They can take it back at any time, so long as they're restoring rail service.

It also sounds like many of you don't know how much track and how many right-of-ways there are still out there. Here in Philly, there are tons of large buildings which still have their own sidings, so that freight trains can be backed up into their basements. Some of them are still in use.

And you don't need to be able to bring your pants into the Gap directly by train. All you need is a fright yard within 50 or so miles of the Gap.

 
farbekrieg 2009-04-05 01:57:09 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: chewd: "Good. Maybe now we can finally ban those polution spewing death machines from the highways."

Nah, i think i'd rather be able to buy food & clothes.

Newsflash: anything that's currently shipped by truck (except produce) could just as easily be shipped by rail.


Additionally containers on trains are funneled from the east coast to the west coast (la/city of industry) before they are placed on tankers heading to the far east and make their way slowly back to the east coast to repeat the process.

Trying to get the logistics to work would be a nightmare, and more importantly expensive, so to ship west coast to east coast tends to be 3x as expensive as east to west. On the other hand you can now justify paying 40 bucks for some kakis

 
richlw 2009-04-05 01:58:03 PM  
i15.ebayimg.com

/Article reminded me of this movie
//Aaron Eckheart was in it?

 
bel4sucks 2009-04-05 02:03:31 PM  
You don't really get logistics or shipping, huh Dwight_Yeast?

 
Cosmic Crab 2009-04-05 02:05:56 PM  
skinink: "Candy Cane? Hey anybody know a Candy Cane? "
And for good measure, Leelee Sobieski:


Quick, hit her with some Atropine. From her eyes, she must have caught a whiff of nerve gas.

 
Cosmic Crab 2009-04-05 02:12:16 PM  
Cause that's Bud the Spud from old PEI,
with another big load a badadoes!

 
sgtbarthel 2009-04-05 02:20:08 PM  
Oldiron_79: Ye olde news. The I 40 Oklahoma killer was doing his thing even back when I was driving over the road like in '03-'07.

If I'm not mistaken he was supposed to be driving a yellow Peterbuilt with a tweety bird sticker on it.


HOLY FARKING SHIAT!!! I grew up next to a trucker that had a yellow Peterbuilt with tweety birds custom painted on it.

 
gulogulo 2009-04-05 02:23:08 PM  
Prostitutes and hitchhikers I can understand, but why are they killing tigers?

/Sri Lanka's a hell of drive, too

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-04-05 02:42:32 PM  
bel4sucks: You don't really get logistics or shipping, huh Dwight_Yeast?

Actually, I do. All the problems people have raised in this thread have to do with the fact that we basically abandoned our rail system in the mid-1950's, when that Socialist Dwight Eisenhower supplanted it with a National Highway system built at taxpayers' expense.

/just because we made a mistake in the past doesn't mean we can't fix the problem now

 
AliasUndercover 2009-04-05 02:47:42 PM  
Eastbound and down indeed...

/now I definitely need that CB.

 
Oldiron_79 2009-04-05 02:47:55 PM  
sgtbarthel: Oldiron_79: Ye olde news. The I 40 Oklahoma killer was doing his thing even back when I was driving over the road like in '03-'07.

If I'm not mistaken he was supposed to be driving a yellow Peterbuilt with a tweety bird sticker on it.

HOLY FARKING SHIAT!!! I grew up next to a trucker that had a yellow Peterbuilt with tweety birds custom painted on it.


RLY?

 
artc351 2009-04-05 02:56:07 PM  
Prostitutes and hitchhikers I can understand, but why are they killing tigers?

got to put something in the tank

my bad, old reference

 
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