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(Cracked) Interesting Eleven modern technologies that are way older than you think...Now, get off my damn lawn   (cracked.com) divider line 94
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40911 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2009 at 1:55 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Man On Fire 2009-04-04 11:01:36 AM  
If only there was some sort of man-portable device that could be used to coerce people to remove themselves from ones' garden.

 
2wolves 2009-04-04 11:15:44 AM  
Mythbusters would like a word.

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2009-04-04 11:19:16 AM  
2wolves: Mythbusters would like a word.

How about "hubris?" It takes a special kind of it to confuse "I can't make this work" with "This is impossible," which they do with regularity.

 
muck4doo [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 11:25:33 AM  
I thought the Antikythera Mechanism is the oldest computer.

 
Msol [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 11:32:19 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: 2wolves: Mythbusters would like a word.

How about "hubris?" It takes a special kind of it to confuse "I can't make this work" with "This is impossible," which they do with regularity.


Oh, THIS. God I hate that show.

 
TheOnion [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 11:52:24 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros and Msol :

imgs.xkcd.com

 
gimmeafuckinname 2009-04-04 01:04:37 PM  
And as any scientist can tell you, when confronted with two possible theories, the scientific method dictates that we must go with the one that is awesome


I know I'm in the minority but I think these Cracked submissions are often funny.


Looks like I'm in the majority of those who can't stand Mythbusters though.

 
strangeguitar 2009-04-04 01:20:30 PM  
I still call video games Cathode Ray Tube Amusement Device.

 
t3knomanser 2009-04-04 01:57:41 PM  
I have nothing against "Mythbusters", and mostly agree with Zombie Feyman. I don't watch it, but I appreciate its existence.

muck4doo: I thought the Antikythera Mechanism is the oldest computer.

It computed things, but wasn't a computer. It couldn't do math, or anything like that. The Babbage Engine was actually a programmable computer that could solve different kinds of problems, as opposed to something like the Antikythera Mechanism, which could to one very specific calculation and could not be programmed. It was more of a mechanical calendar than it was a mechanical calculator.

In any case, even discounting the Mythbusters, it's still pretty implausible that Archimedes's death ray was actually used in the heat of battle. If it existed at all, it was almost certainly done on an unsuspecting fleet that wasn't going to be maneuvering against it. It'd be useless against a moving target.

 
Sarah Jessica Farker [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-04 01:59:05 PM  
muck4doo: I thought the Antikythera Mechanism is the oldest computer.

seriously.

 
tortilla burger 2009-04-04 02:01:38 PM  
Hooray for the Lego difference engine

blarneyfellow.files.wordpress.com

 
ThatDarkFellow 2009-04-04 02:06:10 PM  
When MythBusters started it was a neat idea. But it has gotten progressively sloppier. "Oh, well, that was my first and only try, but since I can't do it BUSTED" "What scientific method? Plan B? What the fark are you talking about? Just go cut the damn check already, didnt you hear me say BUSTED? BUSTED!"

 
Niveras 2009-04-04 02:06:41 PM  
t3knomanser: If it existed at all, it was almost certainly done on an unsuspecting fleet that wasn't going to be maneuvering against it. It'd be useless against a moving target.

Like a ship bobbing up and down on the waves.

I am assuming that, even in calm seas, a ship at anchor still has significant motion, particularly if the weapon requires it be focused on a specific area for more than a few seconds.

 
Molavian 2009-04-04 02:08:12 PM  
Indiana Dongs.

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2009-04-04 02:13:18 PM  
You whippersnappers also didn't invent-

DP (nsfw)

tranny hardcore (nsfw)

/Stalin? nsfw (new window)

 
foil helmet guy 2009-04-04 02:13:32 PM  
i270.photobucket.com

 
Nowhereman 2009-04-04 02:14:52 PM  
They forgot to mention high definition television and cable tv.

 
Hilary T. N. Seuss 2009-04-04 02:15:30 PM  
Everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:15:33 PM  
t3knomanser: In any case, even discounting the Mythbusters, it's still pretty implausible that Archimedes's death ray was actually used in the heat of battle. If it existed at all...

I'm of the suspicion that Nikola Tesla's death ray caused the Tunguska event.
/tinfoil hat in place
//can't read the link, filtered as "tasteless".

 
Sqube 2009-04-04 02:16:56 PM  
Put me on the list of people who also enjoy Cracked articles on a regular basis.

That said, this one's a month old.

 
mat catastrophe 2009-04-04 02:18:03 PM  
Where's the fax machine in this list? They could have made this list an even dozen.

No love for fax machines.

 
Lost Thought 00 2009-04-04 02:19:21 PM  
Almost all of this has to do with re-defining or taking a very loose interpretation of the invention at hand.

/And MythBusters rocks. Best science/engineering-based show on TV.

 
Action Replay Nick [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:21:22 PM  
I won't lie, this article resulted in me playing Nim for 20 minutes.

 
bingethinker [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:23:06 PM  
In 2001, if you are a die hard Mac fan. Or 1997, if you are aware cheaper MP3 players existed before Steve Jobs figured out people would pay twice as much to hear their pirated songs on the bus if the MP3 player looked like the bastard son of Eve from Wall-E and a pocket calculator.

I stopped reading right there. These writers cannot distinguish between opinions and facts. The rest of the article will probably be just as unreliable.

 
DoctorCal 2009-04-04 02:23:08 PM  
Msol: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: 2wolves: Mythbusters would like a word.

How about "hubris?" It takes a special kind of it to confuse "I can't make this work" with "This is impossible," which they do with regularity.

Oh, THIS. God I hate that show.


I'm not alone!!!

 
CrispFlows 2009-04-04 02:25:39 PM  
I friggin hate nim now.

 
CrispFlows 2009-04-04 02:28:27 PM  
Molavian: Indiana Dongs.

Damnit - Someone registered that login.

 
Poppa Boner [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:31:19 PM  
The chick is kind of dumpy but doable.

 
Pave_the_Planet 2009-04-04 02:33:15 PM  
bingethinker: In 2001, if you are a die hard Mac fan. Or 1997, if you are aware cheaper MP3 players existed before Steve Jobs figured out people would pay twice as much to hear their pirated songs on the bus if the MP3 player looked like the bastard son of Eve from Wall-E and a pocket calculator.

I stopped reading right there. These writers cannot distinguish between opinions and facts. The rest of the article will probably be just as unreliable.


You do realize that the source is "Cracked" right? They aren't exactly serious journalists at work here.

 
bnthrdntht 2009-04-04 02:34:10 PM  
Lost Thought 00 2009-04-04 02:19:21 PM
Almost all of this has to do with re-defining or taking a very loose interpretation of the invention at hand.

/And MythBusters rocks. Best science/engineering-based show on TV.


Sorry, there has never been any science or engineering on any Mythbusters show, ever. There has been a bunch of shade tree mechanics, stunt man antics and special effects crapola, but no science or engineering.

I watch it sometimes because it is amusing, but their rationales and methods are embarrassing from a science/engineering POV. Think CSI, what a farking joke from a reality POV.

 
bingo the psych-o 2009-04-04 02:36:19 PM  
I'm surprised they didn't mention the fax machine. It was invented by Alexander Bain in 1843.

 
Kar98 2009-04-04 02:36:37 PM  
Submarines
Most people will either tell you World War I or 1870


The Confederacy had submarines.

 
Poppa Boner [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:37:00 PM  
bnthrdntht: I watch it sometimes because it is amusing, but their rationales and methods are embarrassing from a science/engineering POV. Think CSI, what a farking joke from a reality POV.

B-b-but that where I learns mah sciences.

 
Your wife makes great pancakes 2009-04-04 02:37:21 PM  
mat catastrophe 2009-04-04 02:18:03 PM
Where's the fax machine in this list? They could have made this list an even dozen.

No love for fax machines.


Yeah, you kin put a peece of paper in here with a pictyeur, and your fren geets a peece of paper with the same pictyeur.

 
special20 2009-04-04 02:39:27 PM  
Amishures.

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2009-04-04 02:41:49 PM  
bingo the psych-o: I'm surprised they didn't mention the fax machine. It was invented by Alexander Bain in 1843.

Your comment reminded me of another oft-overlooked inventor: Alexander Graham Bellski, the first telephone Pole.

 
scottydoesntknow [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:43:52 PM  
Kar98: Submarines
Most people will either tell you World War I or 1870

The Confederacy had submarines.


I can beat that. They also used them in the Revolutionary War, like it says in the article, a little lower.

 
lewismarktwo 2009-04-04 02:45:23 PM  
Pave_the_Planet: bingethinker: In 2001, if you are a die hard Mac fan. Or 1997, if you are aware cheaper MP3 players existed before Steve Jobs figured out people would pay twice as much to hear their pirated songs on the bus if the MP3 player looked like the bastard son of Eve from Wall-E and a pocket calculator.

I stopped reading right there. These writers cannot distinguish between opinions and facts. The rest of the article will probably be just as unreliable.

You do realize that the source is "Cracked" right? They aren't exactly serious journalists at work here.


Hilarity.

 
Philbigtime 2009-04-04 02:46:08 PM  
bingethinker: In 2001, if you are a die hard Mac fan. Or 1997, if you are aware cheaper MP3 players existed before Steve Jobs figured out people would pay twice as much to hear their pirated songs on the bus if the MP3 player looked like the bastard son of Eve from Wall-E and a pocket calculator.

I stopped reading right there. These writers cannot distinguish between opinions and facts. The rest of the article will probably be just as unreliable.


u r dum.

 
evilboyevil 2009-04-04 02:51:03 PM  
Action Replay Nick: I won't lie, this article resulted in me playing Nim for 20 minutes.

I remember in college, one of our professors who was Russian used it to help study Game Theory. Since the game starts with all pieces known, it is possible to formulate an algorithm that simply creates a lookup table to tell you how to do the perfect game. This is how some chess computers work now, they map all of the end-games, and probabilities of getting to a specific advantageous position.

Since this game isn't that complex, it is possible to play it perfectly, just like TicTacToe, meaning that if you go first, or your opponent goes first and doesn't play the first move perfectly, you are guaranteed a win if you can memorize the table. He claimed that in Russian prisons the oldtimers used it on the new guys to trick them into doing favors.

 
kroonermanblack 2009-04-04 02:53:24 PM  
Uh, you mythbuster haters do realize that they often consult with actual engineers/doctors/whatever?

Not just 'ok, hey, lemme build this, hold my beer, watch?'

I don't think it's the most rigorous show in the world, but it's fun to watch.

No one (not even you anal retentive farkers) wants to watch 400000 hours of actual scientific method proof.

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 02:55:25 PM  
I expected the "OMG teh article is dumb!1!" crowd, but I wasn't expecting it to devolve into how Mythbusters isn't scientific.

Leaving the thread either way.

 
heinekenftw 2009-04-04 02:58:16 PM  
kroonermanblack: Uh, you mythbuster haters do realize that they often consult with actual engineers/doctors/whatever?

Not just 'ok, hey, lemme build this, hold my beer, watch?'

I don't think it's the most rigorous show in the world, but it's fun to watch.

No one (not even you anal retentive farkers) wants to watch 400000 hours of actual scientific method proof.


I think its a good show, perhaps not scientifically rigorous, but entertaining and informative just the same.

 
bnthrdntht 2009-04-04 03:03:26 PM  
kroonermanblack Quote 2009-04-04 02:53:24 PM
Uh, you mythbuster haters do realize that they often consult with actual engineers/doctors/whatever?

Not just 'ok, hey, lemme build this, hold my beer, watch?'

I don't think it's the most rigorous show in the world, but it's fun to watch.

No one (not even you anal retentive farkers) wants to watch 400000 hours of actual scientific method proof.


I am not a Mythbusters hater, I also know they won't show their serious F-ups. Some of their minor "didn't work"s were devoid of any engineering advice that I would trust.

And be careful about that last statement, that is what some of us do, however, you are correct that I don't want to watch others do their thing.

Mythbusters is entertaining but not real informative.

 
subaudio 2009-04-04 03:05:18 PM  
Came in here to complain about the Mythbusters being referred to as "scientists."

Glad to see I'm in good company.

By the way, not everyone can help being bald. (Raises hand.)
But bald people should not have a big bushy walrus mustache and beard. It makes them look incredibly creepy. Something tells me the guy must already have a girlfriend who puts up with it.

 
ertznay 2009-04-04 03:08:33 PM  
Everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.

That gave me a good chuckle.

 
Necrosis 2009-04-04 03:15:38 PM  
FTA: Some scientists propose that they were used to relieve pain while other scientists point out that electric stimulation would be ineffective when compared to painkillers available at the time such as heroin opiate and cannabis; who wants an electric shock when you could be chasing the dragon?

img.photobucket.com

And who things dildos were new in the 60s? They aren't exactly complicated inventions and you'll see references in Greek plays, among other places.

Add me to the "Mythbusters" is fun, but not real science" crowd.

 
greenz [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 03:16:13 PM  
Goddamn it NIM! I'll farking kill you!

 
x_kansas_x 2009-04-04 03:24:12 PM  
FTA: "The dildo is 20 centimeters long, three centimeters wide and dates to the Ice Age, where women, judging by the objects size, apparently had a "massive capacity""

Since when was 20 cm massive? Big, but not massive, right?

upload.wikimedia.org
does not approve.

 
MBK [TotalFark] 2009-04-04 03:31:18 PM  
I don't get the Mythbuster hate.

They have a theory, they test it, if it fails, they try to see how it would succeed.

Some of the stuff is basic. Shooting an oxygen tank will not make it explode. Why? The bullet hole is too small and the canister is too strong to cause it to rupture. So what would cause a shark to explode?

They are just testing stuff they see on TV or hear in person or historical myths (I'm waiting for the Jesus-themed episode). Yes, a lot of it has to do with movies and Special FX, but there is nothing wrong with that. All they are saying is don't believe everything you see, and here's why.

I'm sure they go through tons of research and failed experiments that don't make it on TV. I haven't seen the DVDs, but I'm hoping they go indepth on the DVDs a bit more or show the failed experiments.

 
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