It's absolutely asinine. There are all KINDS of nervous before boarding a plane . . . not the least of which is dealing with the farking meatheaded TSA assholes.

chemical_angel: It's absolutely asinine. There are all KINDS of nervous before boarding a plane . . . not the least of which is dealing with the farking meatheaded TSA assholes.

THIS

Some people who have an intense fear of flying may be taking a flight out of necessity (family emergency, etc.). Someone might be nervous because it's the first time they have been on a plane.

Bathia_Mapes: THIS

Some people who have an intense fear of flying may be taking a flight out of necessity (family emergency, etc.). Someone might be nervous because it's the first time they have been on a plane.

And some might be nervous because the fat f*ck with the tin badge keeps staring at you, then looking down at the chemsniffer and frowning.

The moral of the story, children: if you're going to hijack a plane, eat a handful of xanax before you get to the airport.

How about a nose that can detect raised levels of luteinising hormones so men can know when women are down to get down.... you could save a lot of money on wasted drinks

The ironic point is that a truly suicidal hijacker will be the calmest person in the terminal.

Occam's Chainsaw: if you're going to hijack a plane, eat a handful of xanax before you get to the airport.

I prefer about three double Bloody Ceasars. Of course that's after security though.

Yeah because nobody is nervous about flying, dealing with the minimum wage gestapo, or missing their flight.

if i was about to do God's work, i'd be calm, cool and relaxed. Much like how depressed people are all calm, cool and relaxed after they set a date and a plan to off themselves.

This will be used to search people who might be smuggling drugs. Anyone who is nervous is a drug smuggler!

Kyosuke: The ironic point is that a truly suicidal hijacker will be the calmest person in the terminal.

This.

/yet another example of how these "security" efforts make us no more secure at all.

war on drugs=waste of money

Is wanting to kill people for saying "this" a normal reaction?

I hope this thing will detect every menstruating woman and then some for these morans.

And the first person who creates a synthetic adrenaline (or any substance to trigger a false positive in the artificial nose) and some cool delivery mechanism (think tiny bug-bomb) that I can set off any time/place I wish....will get a lot of my money.

Of course willingly trying to beat the system will be labeled a treasonous offense and I'll be sent away to a correctional facility for 50 plus years, befriend crows, run an out-of-date library, eventually be paroled and end up swinging from a homemade noose in some half-way house after a little wood carving and penning the following....

Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer". And a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is he's okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun, an, an rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.

Yeah, It's just for terrorists at airports.

For now.

Coming to cop cruisers everywhere in 2010. I like the way they've started to say "for terrorism" to get questionable things to slide by without objection from the general public.

Homeland 'security' > Constitutional rights.

This is bad news...For people with anxiety disorders

If you're afraid of flying, you're a terrorist.

I forget where I heard it but someone recently said that the terrorists will never strike an airplane again. There are simply too many obstacles to overcome. What they will try is to attack the airport baggage check area. On a busy holiday there are thousands of people closely packed together with a huge number of unchecked bags waiting to be processed. Maybe they should concentrate on this rather focusing even more effort on shaking down the old ladies and kids.

One of my dad's friends lost his son and was flying to his funeral. He had been crying and looked upset, so they put him in a room and detained him because only a terrorist would get on a plane when they were upset.

Flying in general makes me nervous.
Being forced to stand in line or crowded like cattle raises my blood pressure.
Dealing with pin-headed self appointed dictators who love to randomly hassle people annoys the fark out of me.

Great, now I will get selected as a Terrorist for hating being treated like cattle. This is really stupid.

I can't wait until teleporter technology happens so we won't have flights anymore.

mike965: How about a nose that can detect raised levels of luteinising hormones so men can know when women are down to get down.... you could save a lot of money on wasted drinks

Tremendous idea. Ever need a job in a research lab let me know.

/You'd have to move to Texas
//I know how much people on here love Texas...
/even though most have never even been

I need a job.

I'll farking move to Texas!

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Is wanting to kill people for saying "this" a normal reaction?

THIS

What do terrorist have to fear going thru a checkpoint if it's a suicide mission to begin with?

JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm: One of my dad's friends lost his son and was flying to his funeral. He had been crying and looked upset, so they put him in a room and detained him because only a terrorist would get on a plane when they were upset.

That's terrible. It's adding insult to injury. If they ever did that to me, I would SO tell those guys where to go.

/Will log in and say hi from my new digs in Guantanamo.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Is wanting to kill people for saying "this" a normal reaction?

THIS

/sorry, the self-trolling was too easy

and since they're focusing on the physiologies of passengers, why not just take it to the next level:

all naked airlines
all passengers doped to submission and chained to their seats

//security established

the saddest part of this idea is that some people would then become physically addicted to flying

///let alone the ones who want to be abused

this war on civil liberties has to stop. those are my adrenal chems you're trying to sniff -- not yours!

hhhmm.. Being bound by an armed legal gangster would make most normal folks "nervous".

No one knows where the nose goes when the door is closed.

bionicFAG: THIS

/sorry, the self-trolling was too easy

Too slow

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: bionicFAG: THIS

/sorry, the self-trolling was too easy

Too slow

Couldn't resist.

Also - this is handy:

Detectors will have to be adapted to screen out more complicated molecules in bestselling scents such as Jennifer Lopez's Glow range and Chanel No 5 which mask natural smells and confuse detector dogs.

I'm feeling nervous just reading this thread.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: bionicFAG: THIS

/sorry, the self-trolling was too easy

Too slow

lol -- it still works. and my tea is still brewing, so I'm pre-caffeine today, all bets are off.

/shakes fist at Brownian motion

I'm never nervous in airports unless I have a tight connection to make. I'm known to get antsy once actually airborne, but in airport terminals, the only thing I exude is resigned tedium. Probably a sign I fly too much.

Nervous?
Yes.
First time?
No, I've been nervous lots of times.

I'm hungry. Anybody got any pop tarts?

The nozzle is still calibrating...

/It's afraid!

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that this is all a setup to advertise Chanel #5 and that JLo perfume?

FTFA:
One barrier to better security through sniffing is perfume. Detectors will have to be adapted to screen out more complicated molecules in bestselling scents such as Jennifer Lopez's Glow range and Chanel No 5 which mask natural smells and confuse detector dogs.

Something tells me the specificity of this particular diagnostic test is so low as to be essentially useless.

Another fault with this, aside from fear of flying, people may be nervous or anxious about alot of other things. As some people have already said, alot of people fly for emergency reasons (ill family members, etc.) and may be very anxious about that. What possible good will this do?

"Ma'am, our meter here shows you registering intense levels of anxiety? Why are you anxious?"

"My father just had a heart attack, the doctors don't give him much time, please let me on the plane, he might not make it much longer"

"I'm sorry, you're going to have to confirm this story first"

Conservationist: Why not just slaughter our enemies so terrorism isn't a problem?

That is probably one of the nicest trolls I've seen in a while. Short, sweet, too the point. Not over the top. High marks all around.

Thank god for airport bars..and who the fark isn't in a shait mood going through a TSA airport check?

Gov't at work for ya

Just hire Betazoids to telepathically detect terrorists.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Is wanting to kill people for saying "this" a normal reaction?

No.

matt2891: Another fault with this, aside from fear of flying, people may be nervous or anxious about alot of other things. As some people have already said, alot of people fly for emergency reasons (ill family members, etc.) and may be very anxious about that. What possible good will this do?

"Ma'am, our meter here shows you registering intense levels of anxiety? Why are you anxious?"

"My father just had a heart attack, the doctors don't give him much time, please let me on the plane, he might not make it much longer"

"I'm sorry, you're going to have to confirm this story first"

something like that happened with that cancer patient recently.

wtf?

these TSA goons seem to get off on the power they have over the public. cops seem to be more subtle about it; but not these assholes.