Glad to see the British are as stupid as the Americans are about the world. Jeremy Clarkson should read this before he goes all AMERICANS ARE TEH STUPID again.

A slideshow composed of completely unattributed quotes that all perfectly balance clueless irony and naive provinciality to create a perfect portrait of the idiot traveler that can make any drooling moron reading them feel superior and wise? I BELIEVE IT COMPLETELY.

You know what else is too sandy?

Just say no to twenty click slideshows.

TripSixes: Just say no to twenty click slideshows.

this

but the complaint letter to branson was amusing (a related article link)

Eddie Adams from Torrance: You know what else is too sandy?

Hitler's ovens?

Sounds like their vaginas are too.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: You know what else is too sandy?

D'oh. Need to read comments before posting my own.

hubiestubert: The weather is here I wish you were beautiful
The skies are too clear lifes so easy today
The beer is too cold, the daiquiris too fruitiful
No place like home when youre this far away...

that's just the start of a well-deserved, overdue binge

TripSixes: Just say no to twenty click slideshows.

this

...and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel, and one evening you visit the so-called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing 'Torremolinos, Torremolinos', and complaining about the food, 'It's so greasy here isn't it!' and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic and Dr Scholl sandals and Tuesday's 'Daily Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres.

GRITTY! I said gritty! sheesh

People are so stupid.

Just stay home if you can't handle the crazy outside world!

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

Technically deer flies bite and mosquitoes pierce. Deer flies slice open your skin and lick up the blood that oozes out. Mosquitoes insert a straw and suck.

Pelted with rocks and garbage: TripSixes: Just say no to twenty click slideshows.

this

Hey. Websites gots to pay for their content somehow. 20 clicks is 20 clicks, and that's ad revenue...

"I can't believe wasted money using a travel agent." conspicuously absent.

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

Swimming costumes? My god I hate British English.

Broken glass and medical waste on the beach?

Whiners!

ISITTHATOBVIOUS: Broken glass and medical waste on the beach?

Whiners!

Keep sorting- you'll prick yourself with the antidote sooner or later.

The 20 dumbest ways a so-called newspaper can fill page space with made-up quotes and cheap stock photos.

Thus goes journalism.

The water was too wet, too.

This is like the "FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: 20 HILARIOUS THINGS TRAVELORS HAVE SAID! TO FUNNY!!" emails my mom sends from AOL email. But yet, it's on a "real" site with a slideshow. That's some fine journalism.

who greenlighted this? I demand satisfaction sir.

So im at a beach called sandy beach (oahu) and overhear a tourist biatching about being covered in dirt.
I look over and yup...sand.

Too many foreigners at the foreign place. Check
Too hot at the hot place. Check.
Too many tourists at the tourist place. Bzzzzzt!!

Sorry, thanks for playing.

brap: "I can't believe wasted money using a travel agent." conspicuously absent.

Yeah book it online and dont talk to anyone and save .15 cents or maybe not. You are so sure that you are getting it for less because you did it yourself or did it online right? So these online sites are umm travel agents.. you know that right?

Too bad you could have gotten something better for less by dealing with an agent or found out from your agent that xyz hotel or xyz cruise is not good or you have to bring your passport or those little things that booking online wont give you. Yeah I am sure you read all the print details.

Must feel nice to know you *think* you have gotten the best rate because you didnt use a travel agent. These are the kinds of people that make me laugh.

Sure there are instances where the travel agent approach will cost more but it does make sense in certain types of travel and especially in specialized areas.

you just said the agency money not having to talk to you and you still booked !

have fun on your next trip sucker !

Kotecks: Swimming costumes? My god I hate British English.

Well they did invent the language. Brits who get pissy about proper American English are stuffy little pricks who need to stfu, but Americans getting pissy about proper British English are being just plain nonsensical. It's almost as ridiculous as the alleged traveller in the link who complained about her travel destination (presumably a Spanish-speaking foreign country) having too many Spanish-speaking foreigners! There are much better things to argue about than whether or not certain words have "u" in them, how many syllables are in element 13 on the periodic table, etc.

May I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

Love this.

thistime: brap: "I can't believe wasted money using a travel agent." conspicuously absent.

Yeah book it online and dont talk to anyone and save .15 cents or maybe not. You are so sure that you are getting it for less because you did it yourself or did it online right? So these online sites are umm travel agents.. you know that right?

Too bad you could have gotten something better for less by dealing with an agent or found out from your agent that xyz hotel or xyz cruise is not good or you have to bring your passport or those little things that booking online wont give you. Yeah I am sure you read all the print details.

Must feel nice to know you *think* you have gotten the best rate because you didnt use a travel agent. These are the kinds of people that make me laugh.

Sure there are instances where the travel agent approach will cost more but it does make sense in certain types of travel and especially in specialized areas.

you just said the agency money not having to talk to you and you still booked !

have fun on your next trip sucker !

I imagine I will, I've got extra ticket for my upcoming trip to Relaxitwasjustajokeistan if you'd care to join me.

brap: I can't believe wasted money using a travel agent." conspicuously absent.

Travel agents and tours are frequently cheaper than booking it yourself and offer better options (e.g., "sold out" flights often aren't).

I think there might be a tiny, outside possibility that thistime could be connected, in some loose or tangential way, to the travel agent industry.

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
"The beach was too sandy."
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
"I accidentally a whole watermellon!"

Icarus3: Kotecks: Swimming costumes? My god I hate British English.

Well they did invent the language. Brits who get pissy about proper American English are stuffy little pricks who need to stfu, but Americans getting pissy about proper British English are being just plain nonsensical. It's almost as ridiculous as the alleged traveller in the link who complained about her travel destination (presumably a Spanish-speaking foreign country) having too many Spanish-speaking foreigners! There are much better things to argue about than whether or not certain words have "u" in them, how many syllables are in element 13 on the periodic table, etc.


I like the fact that you've taken your own advice about 'much better things to argue about' and do exactly the opposite.

thistime
or you have to bring your passport or those little things that booking online wont give you.

Who the fark with an IQ above room temperature needs to be told this?

thistime: brap: "I can't believe wasted money using a travel agent." conspicuously absent.

Yeah book it online and dont talk to anyone and save .15 cents or maybe not. You are so sure that you are getting it for less because you did it yourself or did it online right? So these online sites are umm travel agents.. you know that right?

Too bad you could have gotten something better for less by dealing with an agent or found out from your agent that xyz hotel or xyz cruise is not good or you have to bring your passport or those little things that booking online wont give you. Yeah I am sure you read all the print details.

Must feel nice to know you *think* you have gotten the best rate because you didnt use a travel agent. These are the kinds of people that make me laugh.

Sure there are instances where the travel agent approach will cost more but it does make sense in certain types of travel and especially in specialized areas.

you just said the agency money not having to talk to you and you still booked !

have fun on your next trip sucker !

Wow.. a little sandy in the fish mitten?

Mad Scientist: ...and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel, and one evening you visit the so-called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing 'Torremolinos, Torremolinos', and complaining about the food, 'It's so greasy here isn't it!' and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic and Dr Scholl sandals and Tuesday's 'Daily Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres.

This.

SAND
http://tinyurl.com/cduhz4 (cut and paste, NSFW)

I clicked through about 3 of those pictures before I gave up.

Not to mention all of those pictures seemed to be of the "what the complaint may have looked like" variety.

Icarus3: Kotecks: Swimming costumes? My god I hate British English.

Well they did invent the language.

Language isn't invented, jackass.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

We need more beaches like that.

equusdc: Who the fark with an IQ above room temperature needs to be told this?

There are many people who have never left the 30 miles radius they live in and do not have the concept of simple things like bringing a passport.Its really sad actually. The favorite excuse is 'no one told me'

sorry brap I was not trying to be a dick and apparently I came off that way. This is the first internet apology in the history of fark.

Its just a bad formula to assume that booking it online or on your own is the best way to get the best deals.

I thought I would be slick and book my hotel in new orleans without a website and just use the trusty yellowpages. I found a hotel and when I got there it was more one of those extended stay places with people with dogs and crystal meth labs. Sure it was cheap and I got a deal but my wife had fun taking pictures of the graffiti on the walls and the red paint splashed everywhere that gave the impression of someone dying a bloody death.

A friend of mine likes to use the miles and points and will spend countless hours trying to find the rate for one penny less.He loses money by losing his time. I guess he feels better about it but he could use that time to work more and make double the money.

/ yes pocket ninja I work in this industry but I am not an agent

If you have the word agent behind your title you deserve all the shiat that comes with your over-paid job. Travel agent, insurance agent, talent agent...


^
|
Agent

Has anyone complained about the Germans, towels, and sun chairs?

Icarus3: Kotecks: Swimming costumes? My god I hate British English.

Well they did invent the language. Brits who get pissy about proper American English are stuffy little pricks who need to stfu, but Americans getting pissy about proper British English are being just plain nonsensical. It's almost as ridiculous as the alleged traveller in the link who complained about her travel destination (presumably a Spanish-speaking foreign country) having too many Spanish-speaking foreigners! There are much better things to argue about than whether or not certain words have "u" in them, how many syllables are in element 13 on the periodic table, etc.

To be fair I have to side with the Mexicans that the vosotros form is entirely idiotic and unnecessary. But the Spaniards did invent the language they lisp around in.

thistime

I thought I would be slick and book my hotel in new orleans without a website and just use the trusty yellowpages.

/ yes pocket ninja I work in this industry but I am not an agent

Boggle.

Was I the only one reading each complaint as though it was made by a woman?

A good travel agent can make a low budget vacation much better. The industry, though, doesn't have the same quality of people that there were in the 70's and 80's. This is good in that you save money, but talking to someone who knows the ins and outs of parts of the world can keep you from making dangerous mistakes. My Mom was a travel agent, and she personally helped hundreds of people travel safely while getting their money's worth. Once she de-boarded a cruise ship to stay with a sick client in a dirty hospital in Haiti while fighting pnuemonia. She supplied care that no-one else could or would. I know there are and were bad agents, but some of them really care and will do almost anything to help their customers

MorseCodeNowInHiDef: "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant.

This one seems pretty tongue-in-cheek.