The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

This would make a great 'shop contest theme.

PenguinTheRed: The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

Maybe not. If you're lucky she might not decide that until after the honeymoon.

PenguinTheRed: The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

Have you ever gone swimming in the ocean after rug burn on the knees? Not fun.

I'm sad they didn't change "life jackets" to "a 'Mae West'", mind you....

I'm sure they were referring to activities you may engage in during your honeymoon vacation, but then, that's not very funny, is it?

/ignore me

I guess you have never hit your head on the headboard when you were really going at it, or passed out in the hottub after an intense orgasm, or gotten rugburn after eating muff for hours.

Had my honeymoon video not found its way on the internet, none of these recommendations would have been necessary.

I apologize, especially, for the spelunking gear.

seems appropriate.

Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb

"Avoid the neurotic bride" was left out, for some reason.

The CDC is definitely the 1st place I would look to for wedding planning tips.

How am I going to treat the guests who develop Schistosomiasis from the fecally contaminated cake? hmm

That's hot.

Ehh thats not true after your married she doesnt do that anymore.

One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

The kneepads searve.
If you see a wife giving a BAD Fap with two hands ..you Know what I'm talking about

"I love you, now put the helmet on." - Joe Rogan

VanillaTang: Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb

and uti meds for the inevitable

It made sense when I thought the CDC they were referring to was the California Department of Corrections.

Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!

stevec2usa: Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!

I've always wondered this about Preparation H: What exactly is it preparing you for?

Soooo hot

Better keep this in mind for my honeymoon... thanks CDC!

/future bride
//poor attempt at sarcasm
///not the future bride thing, getting married to a fellow Farker

Since I get married in 25 days I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/end-say elp-hay!

Just what kind of freak is she?

DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.

Kneepads for the women, snorkels for the men?

OniNeko: DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.

So, you do like the smell.

Nhojwolfe: Ehh thats not true after your married she doesnt do that anymore.

No no no, it's after the honeymoon that she doesn't do that anymore. The honeymoon itself can get pretty freaky, at least from my personal experience.

I'm guessing the safety gear advice is for those folks who have decided to "wait until we're married". Can't be too careful your first time, right?

NorCalLos: OniNeko: DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.

So, you do like the smell.

Oooo, I see what you did there. I got served, didn't I?

/moron

I dunno, any honeymoon that requires safety equipment kinda sounds like fun. I'm not sure what you'd need the lifejacket for, though.

candiru.fish: Since I get married in 25 days I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/end-say elp-hay!

With that login I'd avoid a honeymoon in the Amazon if I were you. Or at least include a pair of needlenose in your first-aid kit...

/tempting fate and all that

stevec2usa: Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!



"I'm sorry honey....... Oops, it happened again...."
*maniacal laugh*

I can't believe we pay for this shiat.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

/That is all.

Recommended safety gear for a Honeymoon?!?

Try for a Saturday night...

Debby Harry, circa 1980

/giggity

RUG BURN: SERIOUS BUSINESS

Someone is paid to think this stuff up?

The CDC is just like a giant high school health class.

VanillaTang: Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb

Condoms on your honeymoon? Wierdo. You're doing it wrong.

Kneepads are for the sensitive, new-age male.

FRA: "PHU CU, Vietnam"

I'm going to keep pronouncing that how I want to.

Wow, wrong article. If a mod would be so kind..

Roquefort: Kneepads are for the sensitive, new-age male.

For the pegboy, you mean.

lordargent: "I love you, now put the helmet on." - Joe Rogan

TheSelphie: ///not the future bride thing, getting married to a fellow Farker

My congratulations/condolences to the appropriate farker/farkette.

/♫Damn there goes another rubber tree♫...

/puts on his robe and wizard's hat

Couples get married, women and children hurt most.

Airport Security: Sir, why do you have a helmet in your carry-on?