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(CDC) Interesting According to the CDC recommended safety gear for a honeymoon includes helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Wait, what?   (cdc.gov) divider line 54
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PenguinTheRed 2009-03-25 06:18:04 PM  
The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 06:55:32 PM  
This would make a great 'shop contest theme.

 
pizen [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:00:22 PM  
PenguinTheRed: The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

Maybe not. If you're lucky she might not decide that until after the honeymoon.

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:04:07 PM  
PenguinTheRed: The knee pads seem particularly unnecessary...

Have you ever gone swimming in the ocean after rug burn on the knees? Not fun.

I'm sad they didn't change "life jackets" to "a 'Mae West'", mind you....

 
nvmac [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:04:55 PM  
I'm sure they were referring to activities you may engage in during your honeymoon vacation, but then, that's not very funny, is it?

/ignore me

 
JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm 2009-03-25 07:25:57 PM  
I guess you have never hit your head on the headboard when you were really going at it, or passed out in the hottub after an intense orgasm, or gotten rugburn after eating muff for hours.

 
FredaDeStilleto [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:25:59 PM  
Had my honeymoon video not found its way on the internet, none of these recommendations would have been necessary.

I apologize, especially, for the spelunking gear.

 
BobNesta420 2009-03-25 07:26:09 PM  
seems appropriate.
3.bp.blogspot.com

 
VanillaTang 2009-03-25 07:26:37 PM  
Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb

 
cirby 2009-03-25 07:27:54 PM  
"Avoid the neurotic bride" was left out, for some reason.

 
berylman 2009-03-25 07:27:58 PM  
The CDC is definitely the 1st place I would look to for wedding planning tips.

How am I going to treat the guests who develop Schistosomiasis from the fecally contaminated cake? hmm

 
Brown Sauce 2009-03-25 07:28:08 PM  
movies.radiofree.com

 
epyonyx 2009-03-25 07:28:24 PM  
That's hot.

 
Nhojwolfe [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:28:28 PM  
Ehh thats not true after your married she doesnt do that anymore.

 
DoWhatNowToWhat 2009-03-25 07:29:22 PM  
One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

 
Seasons I'v Withered 2009-03-25 07:30:14 PM  
The kneepads searve.
If you see a wife giving a BAD Fap with two hands ..you Know what I'm talking about

 
lordargent 2009-03-25 07:31:09 PM  
"I love you, now put the helmet on." - Joe Rogan

 
monsieurstabby [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:35:34 PM  
VanillaTang: Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb


and uti meds for the inevitable

 
NorCalLos [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:36:20 PM  
It made sense when I thought the CDC they were referring to was the California Department of Corrections.

 
stevec2usa 2009-03-25 07:37:16 PM  
Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!

 
NorCalLos [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:40:10 PM  
stevec2usa: Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!

I've always wondered this about Preparation H: What exactly is it preparing you for?

 
Pud [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:40:14 PM  
images1.fanpop.com

Soooo hot

 
TheSelphie 2009-03-25 07:43:51 PM  
Better keep this in mind for my honeymoon... thanks CDC!

/future bride
//poor attempt at sarcasm
///not the future bride thing, getting married to a fellow Farker

 
candiru.fish 2009-03-25 07:47:25 PM  
Since I get married in 25 days I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/end-say elp-hay!

 
stuffy 2009-03-25 07:52:25 PM  
Just what kind of freak is she?

 
OniNeko 2009-03-25 07:53:12 PM  
DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know


I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.

 
WFern 2009-03-25 07:53:58 PM  
Kneepads for the women, snorkels for the men?

 
NorCalLos [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-25 07:54:28 PM  
OniNeko: DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.


So, you do like the smell.

 
Jgok 2009-03-25 07:57:30 PM  
Nhojwolfe: Ehh thats not true after your married she doesnt do that anymore.

No no no, it's after the honeymoon that she doesn't do that anymore. The honeymoon itself can get pretty freaky, at least from my personal experience.

 
Luthiel 2009-03-25 07:58:05 PM  
I'm guessing the safety gear advice is for those folks who have decided to "wait until we're married". Can't be too careful your first time, right?

 
OniNeko 2009-03-25 07:58:08 PM  
NorCalLos: OniNeko: DoWhatNowToWhat: One more thing on the knee pads bit. Ladies we men appreciate what you do for your us but no man likes the smell of dick breath.

/the more you know

I'd have to disagree. I guess I'm just passionate enough to cast off that fear of being a closet homosexual.

So, you do like the smell.


Oooo, I see what you did there. I got served, didn't I?

/moron

 
Shyrna Mokarran 2009-03-25 08:05:29 PM  
I dunno, any honeymoon that requires safety equipment kinda sounds like fun. I'm not sure what you'd need the lifejacket for, though.

 
what the cat dragged in 2009-03-25 08:08:36 PM  
candiru.fish: Since I get married in 25 days I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/end-say elp-hay!


With that login I'd avoid a honeymoon in the Amazon if I were you. Or at least include a pair of needlenose in your first-aid kit...

/tempting fate and all that

 
Thanks for the Meme-ries 2009-03-25 08:10:40 PM  
stevec2usa: Forgot to mention the Prepartion H for any of those "accidental wrong-hole" incidents!

i291.photobucket.com

"I'm sorry honey....... Oops, it happened again...."
*maniacal laugh*

 
Shocktopus 2009-03-25 08:12:57 PM  
I can't believe we pay for this shiat.

 
Baz the Spaz 2009-03-25 08:17:25 PM  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

/That is all.

 
CanuckAmok 2009-03-25 08:21:12 PM  
Recommended safety gear for a Honeymoon?!?

Try for a Saturday night...

 
fireclown 2009-03-25 08:32:17 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

Debby Harry, circa 1980

/giggity

 
SpeshilEdjukashin [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 08:43:30 PM  
RUG BURN: SERIOUS BUSINESS

 
Judith_Butler's_Hairflip 2009-03-25 09:04:32 PM  
Someone is paid to think this stuff up?

The CDC is just like a giant high school health class.

 
Goodfella 2009-03-25 09:05:31 PM  
VanillaTang: Honeymoon survival kit: A ton of condoms, a gallon of lubricant, hotel room mini-bar, powerbars, and topical ointment to help with the rug burns.

/Do not disturb


Condoms on your honeymoon? Wierdo. You're doing it wrong.

 
Roquefort 2009-03-25 09:06:18 PM  
Kneepads are for the sensitive, new-age male.

 
nailPuppy 2009-03-25 09:06:24 PM  
FRA: "PHU CU, Vietnam"

I'm going to keep pronouncing that how I want to.

 
nailPuppy 2009-03-25 09:07:14 PM  
Wow, wrong article. If a mod would be so kind..

 
what the cat dragged in 2009-03-25 09:41:56 PM  
Roquefort: Kneepads are for the sensitive, new-age male.

For the pegboy, you mean.

 
Elephantman 2009-03-25 10:01:09 PM  
lordargent: "I love you, now put the helmet on." - Joe Rogan

www.strangecosmos.com

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2009-03-25 10:39:26 PM  
TheSelphie: ///not the future bride thing, getting married to a fellow Farker

My congratulations/condolences to the appropriate farker/farkette.

/♫Damn there goes another rubber tree♫...

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-03-25 11:10:24 PM  
/puts on his robe and wizard's hat

 
manos73 2009-03-26 12:50:14 AM  
Couples get married, women and children hurt most.

 
manos73 2009-03-26 12:56:23 AM  
Airport Security: Sir, why do you have a helmet in your carry-on?

 
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