Six of one, half a dozen, subs.

Well, he's doing it wrong. Ashton Kutcher can twitter a picture of his wife's ass and she doesn't dump him.

I'd still twitter that - bat-shiat insanity and all!

Is this payback for how he dumped her first?

Nice sweatshirt, Captain Amayerica.

cryinoutloud: Ashton Kutcher can twitter a picture of his wife's ass and she doesn't dump him.

Saw that.
I'm gonna assume that was a carefully planned marketing campaign made to look like casual image posting.

Is it okay for me to be a woman in her thirties and not care about this? I don't want to step out of line.

cryinoutloud: Well, he's doing it wrong. Ashton Kutcher can twitter a picture of his wife's ass and she doesn't dump him.

That's because his wife isn't a high-maintenance biatch. Honestly, everyone, this is a good thing for us all. John Mayer is bad enough without having what little balls he does have ground up into a fine powder by Jennifer Aniston.

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Is it okay for me to be a woman in her thirties and not care about this? I don't want to step out of line.

You are getting very close to the edge but I think you'll get away with it this time.

If you were in your 40s (like myself), then you'd pretty much have to care about this. We got a memo last year and everything.

You say that as if twittering too much and being a douchebag aren't the same thing.

She seems so unhappy all the time. She must be worth close to $200 million, and is still all grumpy.

FuturePastNow: You say that as if twittering too much and being a douchebag aren't the same thing.

That.

Okay, that's it. I'm going to have to go ahead and ask everyone to stop using the word "Twitter". I only just recently came to terms with "blog", if the douchebag-itude of that wasn't bad enough. I tried to stay silent about "Twitter" but now they're using it as a verb and that was just the last straw. You have 24 hours to comply.

I've twittered it to Jennifer Aniston more than once.

Off-"hand", I remember enjoying the cold days on the Central Perk set and those covers of Rolling Stone and GQ...

WTF!? You slackers can spend time posting pictures of Fat Boy George in that other thread but can't throw a fellow a bone and put up a few faptastic pictures of Jenny girl?

What the hell is happening to this joint?

This, from the comments, FTW

I think Rock Hudson, Elton John and Liberace's wives all left them because they twittered too much...

HotLonelyTeenageGirl: That's because his wife isn't a high-maintenance biatch.

Demi Moore is the natural, no-make up girl next door?

Does not compute.

Not that I care, and I can't believe I am saying this, but maybe other people will realize now that "poor Jennifer" is not the perspective to take. She just seems like an exhausting, high maintenance idiot who deserves to be alone.

FuturePastNow: You say that as if twittering too much and being a douchebag aren't the same thing.

Came to day this. Before twitter, douchebag level was harder to quantify. Now it is easy as there is a stong correlation between frequency of twittering and douchiness. Bonus points for defending twitter on message boards.

pnjunction: Now it is easy as there is a stong correlation between frequency of twittering and douchiness. Bonus points for defending twitter on message boards.

LOL. Your correlation is actually one of the most clear statements of unfettered truth I have ever read on Fark.

pnjunction: Before twitter, douchebag level was harder to quantify. Now it is easy as there is a stong correlation between frequency of twittering and douchiness.

Leave Stephen Fry alone!

The first years of blogging annoyed me more. At least with twitterers, it doesn't pollute the web that much and the cat pictures aren't inline.

skunkmasher: WTF!? You slackers can spend time posting pictures of Fat Boy George in that other thread but can't throw a fellow a bone and put up a few faptastic pictures of Jenny girl?

What the hell is happening to this joint?

Wild guess...

Huge case of the gay.

cryinoutloud: Well, he's doing it wrong. Ashton Kutcher can twitter a picture of his wife's ass and she doesn't dump him.

Yeah, but isn't she like 80?

Meh, I used to hate John Mayer, but he's actually kind of funny.

Link (new window)

/ never heard him play except on the Chappelle show
// knows funny or die sucks most of the time

Umokay: She just seems like an exhausting, high maintenance idiot who deserves to be alone.

Harsh.
Wouldn't that rule out most women? HEY OHH

FuturePastNow: You say that as if twittering too much and being a douchebag aren't the same thing.

winner

John Mayer is a pretty funny guy. He can laugh at himself and has heckled his own shows. He can speak Japanese and bag pretty much any girl he wants. He's seen more poon up close than Subby has on his hard drive. So yeah, I guess that makes him a douchebag, as far as the internet is concerned.

High maintenance idiot or not... I think this poor girl needs some sweet lovin' to get her through this rough time, and I'm more than happy to volunteer!

john mayer is obv retarded because there are 1000 screaming fresh teens outside his door and he chooses an old piece of leather.

If you 'Twitter'(v), does that make you a 'Twit'(n)?

bostonowns: john mayer is obv retarded because there are 1000 screaming fresh teens outside his door and he chooses an old piece of leather.

When was the last time you were around teenage girls for any duration? They are best viewed from behind thick, soundproof glass. They have all the worst qualities of adult women without the mellowing that comes with age... catty, shallow, trend-chasing, aimless, money-clueless.

Meanwhile, he's snagging dream-women and then dumping them. Most of us would fantasize about just dating Jessica Simpson (with laryngitis), Jennifer Aniston, and the like. He didn't just date them... he dumped them. Nice.

Mostly, he's a great guitar player. Not just good... great.

Does anyone else think that Twitter is one of the more pointless fads of this decade?

I find all the John Mayer hate funny. Let's see; the guy is talented, excellent blues guitar player, writes his own songs, made multi-platinum albums, grammy winner, author, rich, bilingual, bangs Jennifer Love Hewwit, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Anniston among many others I'm sure, and everytime I see him on TV he seems like a funny guy who jokes about himself.

And all you jealous, petty Farkers sitting at your keyboards all day call him a douchebag are pathetic.

j4x: Does anyone else think that Twitter is one of the more pointless fads of this decade?

One of the most pointless, self-indulgent, fads EVER.

I don't care if my second cousin is on her way to the grocery store!

I would penis her.

FuturePastNow: You say that as if twittering too much and being a douchebag aren't the same thing.

Bingo, motherfarker!

Steed Lankershim: One of the most pointless, self-indulgent, fads EVER.

I don't care if my second cousin is on her way to the grocery store!

That's fine, Steed. You don't need to care about Twitter.

But you miss the point. Even people who use the service consider posts about grocery stores boring. There are far more interesting people to read there.

Aniston goes in and out of relationships so fast you need Twitter to keep up...if you care.

And she's still pissed that Brad Pitt upgraded.

I Like Bread
John Mayer is a pretty funny guy. He can laugh at himself and has heckled his own shows. He can speak Japanese and bag pretty much any girl he wants. He's seen more poon up close than Subby has on his hard drive. So yeah, I guess that makes him a douchebag, as far as the internet is concerned.

Um actually it's pretty sad. Even when he thinks he's "laughing at himself" in some skit, he's basically just taking a funny script and then sabotaging it with his own annoying self-conscious defensive demeanor. He can't even self-deprecate right, that only psychologically beaten girls who can't tell a real fruit when they see one would fawn over him because society tells them he's somehow not a loser.

j4x: Does anyone else think that Twitter is one of the more pointless fads of this decade?

This, ten years from now lazy stand-up comedians will still be making jokes about it. And airline food, I mean, what's up with that?

Can anyone suggest a good John Mayer song? I've only heard those droned out of the radio, tv; and if they're any indication, he's a total choad.

Bag of Hammers: j4x: Does anyone else think that Twitter is one of the more pointless fads of this decade?

This, ten years from now lazy stand-up comedians will still be making jokes about it. And airline food, I mean, what's up with that?


I still don't even completely know what it is. I'm just already sick of hearing about it and hearing it used in a sentence like any other verb.

/off the lawn, biatch

Steed Lankershim: I find all the John Mayer hate funny. Let's see; the guy is talented, excellent blues guitar player, writes his own songs, made multi-platinum albums, grammy winner, author, rich, bilingual, bangs Jennifer Love Hewwit, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Anniston among many others I'm sure, and everytime I see him on TV he seems like a funny guy who jokes about himself.

And all you jealous, petty Farkers sitting at your keyboards all day call him a douchebag are pathetic.

Hmm... Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston. He seems to have a thing for the letter J. Joan Jett should give him a call. Or Jennifer Garner...

OldRod: Steed Lankershim: I find all the John Mayer hate funny. Let's see; the guy is talented, excellent blues guitar player, writes his own songs, made multi-platinum albums, grammy winner, author, rich, bilingual, bangs Jennifer Love Hewwit, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Anniston among many others I'm sure, and everytime I see him on TV he seems like a funny guy who jokes about himself.

And all you jealous, petty Farkers sitting at your keyboards all day call him a douchebag are pathetic.

Hmm... Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston. He seems to have a thing for the letter J. Joan Jett should give him a call. Or Jennifer Garner...

J. Edgar Hoover?

ipsofacto: Can anyone suggest a good John Mayer song? I've only heard those droned out of the radio, tv; and if they're any indication, he's a total choad.

Neon from "room for squares"
Try from John Mayer Trio's "Try," although I think that whole album is really good.

Caution: if you don't like his voice, there ain't much you can do, but most of his work is not like "daughters" or his cover of "free fallin'" that makes me feel ill.

jeffwashingdc: ...he's somehow not a loser.

By what measure must someone "win?" I will agree that he has lost your approval. I'm sure I could in a mere sentence, but that doesn't really put any meaningful parity between him and me.

Mugato: I still don't even completely know what it is. I'm just already sick of hearing about it and hearing it used in a sentence like any other verb.

Wasn't "twitter" always a verb for sounding like a bird? Beyond that, I agree the fawning over it is getting old.

It takes 5 seconds to "tweet" something that story is a crock of shiat

Mugato: Bag of Hammers: j4x: Does anyone else think that Twitter is one of the more pointless fads of this decade?

This, ten years from now lazy stand-up comedians will still be making jokes about it. And airline food, I mean, what's up with that?


I still don't even completely know what it is. I'm just already sick of hearing about it and hearing it used in a sentence like any other verb.

/off the lawn, biatch

THIS, I came here to say.

I don't get the John Mayer hate either. Talented and bangs hot women. What the hell else could he do in his life that would offset those two positives?

Came for the Jennifer Aniston pictures, leaving disappointed.

factoryconnection: Mostly, he's a great guitar player. Not just good... great.

Yup. I saw him in concert a few years ago, and dude blew everyone away. He rocked out a version of Classical Gas that just shut everyone in the entire arena up. Plus he had some hilarious banter between songs. His bread and butter is radio-friendly stuff, but once you get away from that, he'll be one of the best guitarists you've ever heard.