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(Star Magazine) Scary Amy Winehouse posts a message on the internet saying her marriage is over. Which means chaps, she's single, if you fancy a challenge   (star-magazine.co.uk) divider line 60
More: Scary  
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2596 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 23 Mar 2009 at 12:15 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

60 Comments   (+0 »)


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2wolves 2009-03-22 06:15:31 PM  
Sorry, my haz-mat suit is at the cleaners...

 
Doomed 2009-03-22 06:22:02 PM  
For science!

 
St_Francis_P [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 06:47:36 PM  
And by "a challenge", you must mean pretend I'm both blind and stupid.

 
m0llusk [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:07:46 PM  
Why should women feel left out? Go for it!

 
BeefyT [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:54:29 PM  
Hell, I bet it would be one helluva party...I'm game!

/gonna double wrap
//make that triple

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:08:05 PM  
Wait a moment while I put my drysuit on.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:25:01 PM  
submitter: Amy Winehouse posts a message on the internet saying her marriage is over. Which means chaps, she's single, if you fancy a challenge the plague

 
testaclese [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:40:23 PM  
I'm for Farky snark, and man, she's a mess, but go back and listen to her music - pretend you never saw a picture of her, or heard a story about her. Hers is one downward spiral that I hope bottoms out soon - so she can rebuild, because the music she can make is damn good.

/Would not hit it though.

 
DoctaCheeko 2009-03-22 10:05:29 PM  
I read this headline in a smooth Sean Connery accent.

 
Demetrius [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:12:14 PM  
If your wang sees that and doesn't go full turtle, you and the little soldier need to have a bit of a discussion.

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:50:16 PM  
Don't believe a word she says. She's drunk again ;)

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:54:36 PM  
what does it pay?

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:58:16 PM  
High School:

img12.imageshack.us


After High School:

img15.imageshack.us


Post Crackhead Meltdown:

img17.imageshack.us

Any questions?

 
sloppy shoes 2009-03-22 11:13:39 PM  
NewportBarGuy: High School:

Wow. She was beautiful.

 
TommyymmoT [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 11:16:21 PM  
A challenge? No, climbing Mount Everest on your hands is a challenge.

Porking her, would have to defy known laws of nature, and is therefore, impossible.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 11:16:53 PM  
sloppy shoes: Wow. She was beautiful.

It's sad, really. Still a huge fan of her music.

 
Godscrack [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 11:23:42 PM  
img9.imageshack.us

 
MacEnvy [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 11:52:50 PM  
testaclese: I'm for Farky snark, and man, she's a mess, but go back and listen to her music - pretend you never saw a picture of her, or heard a story about her. Hers is one downward spiral that I hope bottoms out soon - so she can rebuild, because the music she can make is damn good.

/Would not hit it though.


She had a live concert on PalladiumHD a couple of months ago. So much talent. I really hope she can get it together someday - liking her music is my secret shame.

 
Loverboy586 2009-03-23 12:20:23 AM  
I'll take one for the team.

Just have a shot of Whiskey and some Altoids ready for me after copulation.

 
EwokHunter 2009-03-23 12:23:31 AM  
Fark it, I'd do it. The celeb rags would pay good money for the after story. Plsu think of all the free drugs you'll get.

Besides, everyone has at least 1 Coyote Ugly story, I'll go ahead and make it her. At least it'll be famous.

 
Megasmilax 2009-03-23 12:24:29 AM  
her hs picture looks like lacey chabert

 
radioman_ 2009-03-23 12:28:54 AM  
She has sharp knees.

 
Klippoklondike 2009-03-23 12:28:57 AM  
I would fark just about anyone with a pulse, but even I have my limits.

 
desertgeek 2009-03-23 12:29:07 AM  
Megasmilax: her hs picture looks like lacey chabert

I was just thinking "who does that look like?" so thank you for filling that in for me.

/still says she'll be dead by Halloween

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 12:31:13 AM  
Wait, she was MARRIED? To WHAT? Marvin the Martian? What kind of mental degenerate would actually admit to being married to her? Or was this all some drug delusion?

And who would even get close to her again without a positive-pressure suit and like ten gallons of hexaclorophene?

 
Car_Ramrod 2009-03-23 12:36:38 AM  
NewportBarGuy: Post Crackhead Meltdown:

img4.imageshack.us

 
anfrind 2009-03-23 12:38:52 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Wait, she was MARRIED? To WHAT? Marvin the Martian? What kind of mental degenerate would actually admit to being married to her? Or was this all some drug delusion?

She was married to the guy who first introduced her to all of those drugs.

 
tala-wallah 2009-03-23 12:44:47 AM  
NewportBarGuy: High School/After High School/Post Crackhead Meltdown/Any questions?

Holy CRAP!

That's sad, horrifying and awesome at the same time.

Is this in motivational poster format anywhere? Because it should be.

 
geetus 2009-03-23 12:51:53 AM  
Here's another before & after:

i17.photobucket.com

/uhh - after & before?
//shame

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 12:58:28 AM  
tala-wallah: Is this in motivational poster format anywhere? Because it should be.

I suck at the photoshop. If someone feels like taking the time, the title could easily be "The Faces of Amy".

 
mephyt [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 01:05:51 AM  
why the hell is she even listed in the music tab at this point anyways?

 
tala-wallah 2009-03-23 01:07:54 AM  
NewportBarGuy: tala-wallah: Is this in motivational poster format anywhere? Because it should be.

I suck at the photoshop. If someone feels like taking the time, the title could easily be "The Faces of Amy".


I'll give it a try. Hopefully the next Amy Winehouse thread won't be her obit.

/because then I'd need a 4th photo
//sigh. Straight to hell

 
Metaluna Mutant 2009-03-23 01:08:20 AM  
Jesus Christ! It's a Winehouse! Get in the car!

 
5_second_rule 2009-03-23 01:10:49 AM  
That spot will be filled by the same type of guy that was following Britney Spears around after she decided to restart her career.

Or better yet a Howard K. Stern type that can keep them drugs flowing.

/Amy's music is good.

 
Five Minute Standup 2009-03-23 01:34:03 AM  
I wouldn't fark her with your dick, dude.

 
Shrapnel [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 02:06:57 AM  
i215.photobucket.com

 
Branch Dravidian [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 02:21:37 AM  
brianbero.com

Ready!

 
Blues_Fan 2009-03-23 03:09:14 AM  
Not with a Raychem condom.

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2009-03-23 03:15:31 AM  
She's looking better since breaking up with her husband. He introduced her to the drugs and always seemed like a skeezy opportunist. Always filming her inside of crackhouses. If the album she was working on is even half as good as the first I'll be satisfied.

i.dailymail.co.uk

Bruise-free legs, clean ballet slippers- amazing.

i.dailymail.co.uk

And to think four months ago there were photos of her with ajor skin problems rolling about on the sidewalk with trash (actual refuse) at 4 am.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 05:14:00 AM  
That's Ross from Friends.

 
some_beer_drinker 2009-03-23 05:40:22 AM  
i dont think id go near that with anything less than the dock workers suit from aliens. i still might get splashed with something.

www-personal.umich.edu

 
MikoSquiz 2009-03-23 07:11:38 AM  
You know, she's been recovering steadily from her crackhead meltdown. If this keeps up she'll be back to smokin' within a year.

 
PeppaJack [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 07:41:19 AM  
blog.internetnews.com

 
LowbrowDeluxe 2009-03-23 07:53:35 AM  
H_is_for_Heretic: She's looking better since breaking up with her husband. He introduced her to the drugs and always seemed like a skeezy opportunist. Always filming her inside of crackhouses. If the album she was working on is even half as good as the first I'll be satisfied.

Bruise-free legs, clean ballet slippers- amazing.

And to think four months ago there were photos of her with ajor skin problems rolling about on the sidewalk with trash (actual refuse) at 4 am.


That's...actually pretty good. Could still use a sammich, but no need to bathe her even, just take her to my room.

 
Johnny Chicago 2009-03-23 08:35:33 AM  
NewportBarGuy: High School:

After High School:

Post Crackhead Meltdown:



Any questions?


Came for the before and after, left very satisfied.

 
Valor 2009-03-23 09:00:12 AM  
H_is_for_Heretic: She's looking better since breaking up with her husband. He introduced her to the drugs and always seemed like a skeezy opportunist. Always filming her inside of crackhouses. If the album she was working on is even half as good as the first I'll be satisfied.

Me too. Last summer I listened to Back to Black while commuting every day for months. Then I'd sit at work and see clips of her ongoing downward spiral, thinking, "All that talent and it's just being wasted. If only should could get herself together again and make another album like that..."

 
Kurmudgeon 2009-03-23 10:21:11 AM  
"Hers is one downward spiral that I hope bottoms out soon - so she can rebuild, because the music she can make is damn good."

And I say, no no noo.....
I wish her well, glad she's cleaned her act up, but honestly, her voice sucks as does her song writing ability. She sounds like some old drunk hag yodeling in the back of a bar. She's just the wannabe hipster's favorite. If her train wreck escapades weren't so entertaining to some, her 15 minutes would have been up a couple of years ago.

 
kregh99 2009-03-23 10:43:50 AM  
An emaciated uber-skank with breath like a hobo's colon?

Thanks. I'll pass.

 
Belltower 2009-03-23 11:19:27 AM  
H_is_for_Heretic: And to think four months ago there were photos of her with ajor skin problems rolling about on the sidewalk with trash (actual refuse) at 4 am.

It would be hard to forget that, but yeah, she's actually quite hittable there. She'll really be slipping in the dead pool rankings.

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2009-03-23 11:57:26 AM  
H_is_for_Heretic:
Bruise-free legs, clean ballet slippers- amazing.
And to think four months ago there were photos of her with ajor skin problems rolling about on the sidewalk with trash (actual refuse) at 4 am.


She is looking better, but can somebody please get her a new hair stylist?

 
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