If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(News Of The World) Strange Old and busted: Sleepwalking. New hotness: Sleepf*cking   (newsoftheworld.co.uk) divider line 81
More: Strange  
•       •       •

22630 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2009 at 6:37 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

81 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 05:35:49 AM  
I think I have this problem. I once scored a girlfriend in this manner.

 
traxzilla 2009-03-22 06:45:05 AM  
This woman is not thinking of the possibilities here, getting a second job doing porn.

 
thenateman 2009-03-22 06:45:10 AM  
FTA: Haley's been dumped by a string of men who got the hump when they asked "Was it good for you, too?" only to get the response: "Eh?" because she'd been unconscious all night.

She sighs: "I can have sex three or four times a night if the guys have the stamina, but in the morning I won't know anything about it.


That's rape. Since she was asleep, she was unable to consent. Her exes are lucky she doesn't have a vindictive streak.

 
Rob Anybody 2009-03-22 06:45:20 AM  
Yes, but does she have a learning disorder?

/what do I call it, Kiff?

 
rabidferret 2009-03-22 06:45:53 AM  
creditwithdrawal.com
...already been there.

 
gothelder 2009-03-22 06:58:04 AM  
Its the only reason why I have 2 kids instead of one.

/ Ex thought it would solidify her hold if more kids were involved.
// Did not work.
/// Have slept through a tornado and a 3 alarm fire.

 
cmunic8r99 [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 06:59:08 AM  
it's a law & order episode

 
jaedreth 2009-03-22 07:01:25 AM  
I suffer from sexsomnia myself, so I have to take precautions. If I am forced to sleep in a situation where consent isn't a given, I always sleep clothed. And I have to 'top off' regularly as well. However, I have a wonderful woman who understands such things, and really doesn't mind. However, I still take precautions due to other roommates.

If you have such a problem, it's medically recognized these days, and there are things you can do. Precautions are easy enough to take.

 
heater 2009-03-22 07:05:55 AM  
My wife has this condition, she just doesn't know it.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:08:28 AM  
I've run into this problem, but never to the extreme of leaving my bed and tappin' dat ass. It's just roll over and fondle / mount whoever's there, which is luckily my wife. She tells me the next day, and I've got no clue that anything went on.

If there's someone not wifely in my bed and I've had a few drinks, I'll crash on the couch just to be safe.

 
lazybastard50 2009-03-22 07:09:20 AM  
Rob Anybody
Yes, but does she have a learning disorder?

/what do I call it, Kiff?


Sexlexia
\keeps girlfriend up all night
\\Snoring
\\\Not sexy

 
indenture [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:19:59 AM  
This seems cool at first, but that woman will be 50 someday...

 
xterraadam [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:21:43 AM  
My Ambien pamphlet specifically warns against this phenomenon.

 
tonygotskilz 2009-03-22 07:24:38 AM  
Yeah i have this problem too, except i'm wide awake and i just act like i'm sleeping.

/ Window seat please
// Its only rape if the chloroform wears off
/// Kidding.... only about the cholororm though

 
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science 2009-03-22 07:28:52 AM  
This happened to me once when I was much younger. The orgasm is what woke me up.

Now that I've older and wiser, I thank God she didn't get pregnant, because she sure got herself knocked up with the next guy.

 
PizzaJedi81 2009-03-22 07:39:47 AM  
cmunic8r99: it's a law & order Mad About You episode

ftfy

 
vlakorados 2009-03-22 07:42:24 AM  
Came in for the House reference, going to bed satisfied.


/mmmmmm 13...

 
Gridlock 2009-03-22 07:42:49 AM  
My name is Buck and I like to fark...

 
Sir Cumference the Flatulent [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:50:33 AM  
My wife pretends to be asleep when I try to f*ck her.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:58:34 AM  
I have a friend who found pictures on her cellphone of her having sex with an unknown person. She takes Ambien daily. (3rd shift worker) She's single nor dating anyone, so no hubby.

There is a man in the pictures with her, but you can't make out who.

/Yes, I've seen the pics!
//Yes, she/they are hot!!
///No, she won't send them to me!!!

 
Demetrius [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 07:58:53 AM  
Shenanifarking is what this is.

 
PizzaJedi81 2009-03-22 08:01:57 AM  
Gridlock: My name is Buck and I like to fark party...

 
Rusty Bumpers 2009-03-22 08:05:09 AM  
puffy999: I think I have this problem. I once scored a girlfriend in this manner.

Check to see if your pillow has been abused.

 
BigLoser 2009-03-22 08:11:09 AM  
FTFA - "She's now under the doctor..."

Nice treatment. Knew I should have gone to medical school

 
mudpants 2009-03-22 08:12:32 AM  
Great idea! I'm gonna get me some "snoreface" tonight.

 
cxjohn 2009-03-22 08:23:36 AM  
She just needs a strap-on (in) with an alarm feature that goes "off" every hour or so and use it on nights when her partner is tired or has to get some sleep. Technology could ease her symptoms. Since it's neurological, there will probably never be a cure.

 
carmody 2009-03-22 08:24:04 AM  
My last ex-wife used to initiate sex in her sleep. I'd wake up to find her going to town on me, but still unconscious. Weird.

 
Jujubunnie 2009-03-22 08:37:26 AM  
Ah, been there, done that. Especially if I've blacked out/passed out from too much liquor. The boyfriend's mentioned that if he lays an arm over me while I'm asleep I turn over and start rubbing things... In my case monogamy is a good thing because I know I'd have gotten myself into a lot of trouble...



/cheap date

 
LadyHawke [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 08:40:37 AM  
I have a friend who says he has this. Apparently taking a Xanax before he goes to sleep helps.

 
911Jenny 2009-03-22 08:46:29 AM  
So when she's single who does she bother for sex in the middle of the night?

 
AkaranD 2009-03-22 08:47:42 AM  
I've done this a time or two.. but never successfully. I'll usually call my wife different names - characters in the book I'm writing, or weird things like "chosen angel" or some such - and if that doesn't wake her up, my groping, mumbling and trying to get her on her back does.

The one time I started getting anywhere near successful she rolled over and planted her elbow right in my eye. It woke me up.. and I had an interesting story to tell in the morning with the side of my face a bit black and blue.


For the record, I do take ambien, although the elbow incident happened before that. The others... eh. Not so much. She understands, but I don't think she cares. =p

 
carniemechanic 2009-03-22 08:54:15 AM  
Ah, the British press; sex, celebrity gossip, and scandal. Never mind real news.

 
castufari 2009-03-22 08:54:59 AM  
indenture: This seems cool at first, but that woman will be 50 someday...

I date someone who is nearing 50 and has a healthy libido. It's not all that bad actually, sort of fun. That is until I want to get to sleep because I'm freaking exhausted.

 
Goggles_Pisano 2009-03-22 08:58:05 AM  
Would they have bothered publishing pictures if she looked like Phyllis Diller?

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:19:48 AM  
I had a sort of date with a girl who wanted to spend the night and she "suffered" from this. We didn't have sex before sleeping, but she woke me up orally and we were going for quite a while. She said she didn't remember, but she wasn't surprised it happened. If I knew it was some sort of medical defect, I wouldn't have broken up with her. Nightly sex is something that I am perfectly fine with.

 
tiamet4 2009-03-22 09:27:13 AM  
Welcome to the Machine
I have a friend who found pictures on her cellphone of her having sex with an unknown person. She takes Ambien daily. (3rd shift worker) She's single nor dating anyone, so no hubby.

There is a man in the pictures with her, but you can't make out who.

/Yes, I've seen the pics!
//Yes, she/they are hot!!
///No, she won't send them to me!!!


That's pretty scary actually. I hope she got tested throughly after.

 
thelordofcheese 2009-03-22 09:28:54 AM  
puffy999: I think I have this problem. I once scored a girlfriend in this manner.

I once had a girlfriend wonder if the reason I was flaccid is that she was doing it wrong. When she told me she found me asleep with my face in her crotch... I still smirk.

From now on, I will always remember the phrase, "Take your pants off!" even if I don't remember saying it.

 
Nuthatch 2009-03-22 09:29:49 AM  
It happened to me several times in the early years of my marriage--usually when I went to sleep really wanting some. It hasn't happened for a very long time. Sigh..

 
Shaelain [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:32:15 AM  
So how many guys who work at the sleep lab signed up to monitor this study? "OOO OOOO Pick ME! Pick ME!"

 
thelordofcheese 2009-03-22 09:38:24 AM  
Shaelain: So how many guys who work at the sleep lab signed up to monitor this study? "OOO OOOO Pick ME! Pick ME!"

Heh... my dad...
/tried to kick my parents out of their bed... guess the couch wasn't comfy
//both got punched
///probably deserved it

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:38:40 AM  
Not joking at all, I do this. Apparently I even talk dirty in my sleep. I had no idea until a few years ago. Not sure what to do about it though.

 
TsuZi 2009-03-22 09:40:47 AM  
thelordofcheese: Shaelain: So how many guys who work at the sleep lab signed up to monitor this study? "OOO OOOO Pick ME! Pick ME!"

Heh... my dad...
/tried to kick my parents out of their bed... guess the couch wasn't comfy
//both got punched
///probably deserved it


wait, what?

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 09:41:51 AM  
911Jenny: So when she's single who does she bother for sex in the middle of the night?

i231.photobucket.com

 
DeCypher44 [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:06:11 AM  
I KNOW I have this problem. My wife always tells me I was all over her, but completely asleep. I have no idea when I'm doing it.

 
ace in your face 2009-03-22 10:19:15 AM  
My husband is better when he is asleep, way more passionate. Sex while he is awake is take it or leave it but when he initiates it in his sleep its great.

 
artthehypnotist 2009-03-22 10:26:24 AM  
Hmm.. so, this condition is she goes to sleep and has sex.
I run into women who have sex with me and fall asleep while it is happening.

/sigh

 
Noah's Arcade 2009-03-22 10:27:46 AM  
My wife will sometimes initiate while I'm completely knocked out. I barely wake up but we get started, and it's some of the best f*cking ever.


/possibly narcoleptic

 
Sxooter 2009-03-22 10:40:35 AM  
ace in your face
My husband is better when he is asleep, way more passionate. Sex while he is awake is take it or leave it but when he initiates it in his sleep its great.

I was the same way, my wife would compliment me on how good I'd been, until I started figuring out I didn't remember the times she talked about. I started using lucid dreaming techniques to wake up part way through.

My alter ego certainly gave me some good pointers.

 
Texas with a Dollarsign 2009-03-22 10:45:42 AM  
Was I the only one who read that as "I'm a sexomaniac"?

 
ChrisPC 2009-03-22 10:47:10 AM  
This doesn't work with my wife. When I flirt when she's asleep, she pushes me away. I have to wake her up, usually. There was one time where I didn't.

 
Displayed 50 of 81 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]