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(Daily Express) Scary If you're going to set fire to your best friend's shoelaces, it might be an idea to have a hose ready. Y'know, just in case   (express.co.uk) divider line 33
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6010 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2009 at 7:33 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

33 Comments   (+0 »)


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Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 11:11:16 PM  
Not cool, dude. Not cool.

 
Youcouldntfindme 2009-03-21 11:20:53 PM  
Hate to tell ya, lighting fire to an unconcious man is not a prank...

 
ksdanj [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 01:23:24 AM  
The Jackassification of America continues.

 
ksdanj [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 01:25:14 AM  
Ooops...upon RTFA I see that this occurred in the UK.

/jackass

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 02:02:32 AM  
here's the asswipe that thought it would be funny to set an unconscious man on fire
editorial.jpress.co.uk

 
warwick_hunt 2009-03-22 07:51:31 AM  
farm4.static.flickr.com

You're fired!

 
Theological Farker 2009-03-22 07:58:30 AM  
Youcouldntfindme: Hate to tell ya, lighting fire to an unconcious man is not a prank...

ramblingrhodes.mu.nu

 
understimulated 2009-03-22 07:59:22 AM  
ksdanj: The Jackassification Americanization of America Europe continues.

There, fixed that for ya.

 
Stray Cat Strut 2009-03-22 08:01:53 AM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

 
doglover [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 08:02:32 AM  
understimulated: ksdanj: The Jackassification Americanization of America Europe continues.

There, fixed that for ya.


Suck my 'merican cawk you PC Pinko Commie Eurotashian!

 
just_dis_guy 2009-03-22 08:08:32 AM  
What kind of shoelaces catch fire and burn? If the little heat-shrink ends of my boot laces wear out before the laces themselves, holding a lighter under the end will melt the nylon together so you can relace your boots. Certainly doesn't result in a leg-burning inferno.

/musta been chinese laces
//just had to say that because it seems everything chinese actively tries to kill you these days

 
tetsoushima 2009-03-22 08:16:29 AM  
just_dis_guy: What kind of shoelaces catch fire and burn? If the little heat-shrink ends of my boot laces wear out before the laces themselves, holding a lighter under the end will melt the nylon together so you can relace your boots. Certainly doesn't result in a leg-burning inferno.

/musta been chinese laces wraces
//just had to say that because it seems everything chinese actively tries to kill you these days


ftfy

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 08:38:14 AM  
just_dis_guy: What kind of shoelaces catch fire and burn? If the little heat-shrink ends of my boot laces wear out before the laces themselves, holding a lighter under the end will melt the nylon together so you can relace your boots. Certainly doesn't result in a leg-burning inferno.

/musta been chinese laces
//just had to say that because it seems everything chinese actively tries to kill you these days


Soak em' with a little liquor and they'll not only light, but burn for quite a while.

 
warwick_hunt 2009-03-22 08:59:51 AM  
The plastic thingy on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet.

/here endeth the lesson

 
jso2897 2009-03-22 09:38:25 AM  
Why the holy hell would anybody.....oh, screw it. Never mind.

 
vkacademy [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 10:26:08 AM  
Did TFA mention he was a father-of-two?

 
Fuggin Bizzy 2009-03-22 10:40:15 AM  
vkacademy: Did TFA mention he was a father-of-two?

Yeah, but they didn't tell us whether or not he uses Twitter.

/Bad journalists. Bad.

 
peon36 2009-03-22 10:41:46 AM  
doglover: understimulated: ksdanj: The Jackassification Americanization of America Europe continues.

There, fixed that for ya.

Suck my 'merican cawk you PC Pinko Commie Eurotashian!


Don't be mad at them for trying to catch up to our impressive levels of culture and entertainment.

 
doobiebrother 2009-03-22 10:42:06 AM  
ha ha ha ha ha - oops!
should've just drawn cocks on his face.

 
Fuggin Bizzy 2009-03-22 10:52:56 AM  
doobiebrother: ha ha ha ha ha - oops!
should've just drawn cocks on his face.


And make him all cock-eyed? Naw.

 
carniemechanic 2009-03-22 11:16:43 AM  
understimulated: ksdanj: The Jackassification Americanization of America Europe continues.

There, fixed that for ya.


From your profile, jackass: Originally from New Jersey, lived all over the great U.S. of A.

If you're truly that familiar with how great my country is, as you should be, (what with all that travelling) you might respect it more. Eat a bowl of dicks and die choking on it.

 
Unknown_Poltroon [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-22 11:20:43 AM  
Thats not a practical joke, thats attempted murder that didnt quite work.

 
madam_adams 2009-03-22 11:47:39 AM  
farked up, that's what it is

 
Heroic Poser 2009-03-22 11:51:23 AM  
HA! You been X'd, my friend!

 
maxspeed 2009-03-22 11:58:10 AM  
Megain: here's the asswipe that thought it would be funny to set an unconscious man on fire

He appears to have an unusually large head. But there must not be brains in there, it must be an extension of his colon.

 
gulogulo 2009-03-22 12:01:42 PM  
vkacademy: Did TFA mention he was a father-of-two?

I'm not sure. Did they mention he was 28?


/glad she isn't the only one that caught that.

 
LobsterSausage 2009-03-22 12:30:23 PM  
If you love somebody, better set them on fire.

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2009-03-22 02:14:36 PM  
ksdanj: The Jackassification of America continues.

img264.imageshack.us

 
just_dis_guy 2009-03-22 02:30:56 PM  
warwick_hunt: The plastic thingy on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet.

/here endeth the lesson


Damn you, that factoid just crammed something useful out of my memory banks.

/how the hell should I know what I just forgot?

 
Jurodan 2009-03-22 02:39:09 PM  
Maybe they should just light his balls on fire instead. It'd save the taxpayers more money AND keep him from spawning!

 
warwick_hunt 2009-03-22 02:58:22 PM  
One thing's for certain, if he gets legless with his mate again, he'll end up on his ass.

/blah blah all week, blah blah veal etc

 
mosrite1234 2009-03-23 07:00:29 AM  
Not quite this tragic, but this drunk dumbass suckafool knothead I used to know had a bees nest up in the wooden vent to the attic of his house.
He decided it would be a great idea to get rid of them for good by dousing the nest with gasoline and lighting it.
No bees, top of house smoldering, but fun for all of the neighbors and firefighters.
Insurance didn't cover the damage because of the "momentary, temporary or permanent mental defect/impairment of policyholder" exemption clause.
Urban Legend - Janet Reno based her Waco strategy on this.

 
mosrite1234 2009-03-23 08:20:35 AM  
Janet Reno - Part 2:
If Janet Reno decided every oversexed make up your own religion pass on your philosophy of the entire Universe to everybody (like the chicks fer sure, yeahhhhh) "screw the government, man" "I'm a free bird, yeah" "everybody get together try to love each other right now" Hippie druggie who had his own commune pad and liked to bang teenage girls two, three or more at a time (and the MILF's too) should be flame broiled like David Koresh, it's a good thing she wasn't AG between 1968-1976.
About 1/4 of every US city would be cindered. San Francisco would have looked like Dresden in 1945.

 
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