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(Salon) Scary Actual Headline: "She tried to flush baby down the toilet; then it gets weird" Behold the power of Fark   (open.salon.com) divider line 90
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CtrlAltDelete [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 02:35:14 PM  
People like that just make me sick with anger.

Flushing a baby down a toilet?! Even a 7-week premature baby is going to weigh more than a couple pounds; and with today's water-saving 1.6 gallon single flush standard, it's just not going to happen. You need to chop it up first.

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:01:36 PM  
Old and busted: Coat hanger. New hotness:
i39.tinypic.com

 
AR55 2009-03-21 03:02:15 PM  
CtrlAltDelete: Flushing a baby down a toilet?! Even a 7-week premature baby is going to weigh more than a couple pounds; and with today's water-saving 1.6 gallon single flush standard, it's just not going to happen. You need to chop it up first.

I find that if you let it sit for a few hours in the toilet it will crumble apart when you flush.

 
TheMiddleFinger 2009-03-21 03:03:36 PM  
"The story of The Baby in the Wonderbread Bag begins like so many stories of teen pregnancy...."
lol
/+1 Drew

 
Coco LaFemme [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:04:09 PM  
It's for people like this that we need to bring back drawing and quartering. You know, the good shiat the English used to do back in the day. Maybe throw in a disembowelment first.

 
Michael_Mythix 2009-03-21 03:04:53 PM  
AR55: CtrlAltDelete: Flushing a baby down a toilet?! Even a 7-week premature baby is going to weigh more than a couple pounds; and with today's water-saving 1.6 gallon single flush standard, it's just not going to happen. You need to chop it up first.

I find that if you let it sit for a few hours in the toilet it will crumble apart when you flush.


What makes me sick this this blatant waste of food.


/I want my baby back, baby back.....
//what's the differance between an abortion and sand??!?
///You can gargle with sand.

 
Zumaki 2009-03-21 03:05:13 PM  
How is babby flushed?

 
beoswulf 2009-03-21 03:05:24 PM  
How is babby flushed?

 
beoswulf 2009-03-21 03:06:00 PM  
Zumaki: How is babby flushed?

+1

 
Klippoklondike 2009-03-21 03:07:45 PM  
Go ahead and try to flush me biatch

img140.imageshack.us

 
RogueVortex 2009-03-21 03:08:10 PM  
Coco LaFemme: It's for people like this that we need to bring back drawing and quartering. You know, the good shiat the English used to do back in the day. Maybe throw in a disembowelment first.

We could always just go with the rasputin way. Poisoning, shooting, drowning, hanging, THEN draw and quarter, burn everything, and pray to God they don't come back.

/But they always do.
//I missed an execution somewhere there....

 
Ablejack 2009-03-21 03:12:42 PM  
Whenever I have a BM, I find enclosing it in a bread bag doesn't facilitate flushing. When will I ever learn?

 
almejita [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:13:51 PM  
AR55
I find that if you let it sit for a few hours in the toilet it will crumble apart when you flush.

Dude, you're thinking of poop.

 
peterskoot 2009-03-21 03:14:26 PM  
whats black, blue and orange and lays at the bottom of a pool?
a baby with slashed floaties.
whats pink red and orange and at the top of the pool?
floaties with a slashed baby

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2009-03-21 03:15:36 PM  
FTA:
Looking back on it, I can see that what filled me with anger and despair was not the fact that a teenager had tried to kill her baby. Mental illness and desperation are often a lethal combination. What filled me with despair was that seemingly sane people were discussing whether or not flushing a baby down the toilet was acceptable, as if the conclusion might be in doubt.

We are so screwed as a species.

 
llama vortex 2009-03-21 03:15:36 PM  
Plan A was to put baby in the corner but since nobody puts baby in the corner, she had to flush baby.

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-03-21 03:19:13 PM  
beoswulf: How is babby flushed?

They need to do way instain mother who kill thier babbys.

 
IonBeam2 2009-03-21 03:20:04 PM  
Even we know better than to mix tenses like that sometimes.

 
farkingatwork 2009-03-21 03:22:13 PM  
YouPeopleAreCrazy: FTA:
Looking back on it, I can see that what filled me with anger and despair was not the fact that a teenager had tried to kill her baby. Mental illness and desperation are often a lethal combination. What filled me with despair was that seemingly sane people were discussing whether or not flushing a baby down the toilet was acceptable, as if the conclusion might be in doubt.

We are so screwed as a species.


All we need to do is have a religion test. Believe in religion/invisible sky wizards? Remove said individual's existence or place them in a place with padded rooms. Would solve a lot of problems right there.

Next, all we have to do is ask people controversial and difficult to answer questions with no right answer in a reasoned debate. Do they come up with any logical response or is it purely "this is what is, because I say so!" even after being given time to calm down. Remove said individual's existence from society, padded room or sent back to school until they can pass philosophy.

This would solve so many problems.

 
LeroyBourne 2009-03-21 03:22:25 PM  
I bet the baby was as cute as the dikkings with his little head sticking out of the top 4 holes ripped in each corner for its' arms and legs.

 
fernanernie 2009-03-21 03:22:46 PM  
Now I feel bad for having to double clutch the toilet after taco night.

 
eidohntno 2009-03-21 03:24:51 PM  
YouPeopleAreCrazy: We are so screwed as a species.

LOLWUT? (new window)

 
cherryl taggart 2009-03-21 03:26:49 PM  
Where did the bread bag come from? Did this mentally ill woman bring lunch? Or is the fact that she tried to flush the kid the only criteria they are using to prove her instability? More info, please.

 
Brown Sauce 2009-03-21 03:29:40 PM  
This woman has one of the weirdest blogs on the Internet.

 
Fallguyx 2009-03-21 03:34:02 PM  
Came for babby reference

/satisfied


//Babby not satisfied cuz babby dont got no free waterslide

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:38:08 PM  
Actual Headline: "She tried to flush baby down the toilet; then it gets weird" Behold the power of Fark

What does this have to do with "The power of Fark?" I saw this article 2 days ago on reddit.

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:39:01 PM  
deadapostle: Actual Headline: "She tried to flush baby down the toilet; then it gets weird" Behold the power of Fark

What does this have to do with "The power of Fark?" I saw this article 2 days ago on reddit.


Sorry, not 2 days ago. I saw it yesterday on reddit. The power of Fark doesn't allow me to edit my posts.

 
Gilliam317 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:40:15 PM  
deadapostle: Actual Headline: "She tried to flush baby down the toilet; then it gets weird" Behold the power of Fark

What does this have to do with "The power of Fark?" I saw this article 2 days ago on reddit.


"Then it get's weird" is a common Fark headline ending, like hilarity ensues.

 
unchellmatt 2009-03-21 03:40:46 PM  
Michael_Mythix: "AR55: CtrlAltDelete: Flushing a baby down a toilet?! Even a 7-week premature baby is going to weigh more than a couple pounds; and with today's water-saving 1.6 gallon single flush standard, it's just not going to happen. You need to chop it up first.

I find that if you let it sit for a few hours in the toilet it will crumble apart when you flush.

What makes me sick this this blatant waste of food.
"

This, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly the sort of disgusting, careless, psychotic conversation which keeps people like me coming back.

As you were.

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:41:04 PM  
What the hell was she supposed to do? She was clearly out of bread for decent sandwiches.

 
Vangor [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:41:56 PM  
Did anyone else question her outrage when she began to refer to the child as "Wonderbread Baby"? Imagine this naming method, "Bottle-of-Clorox Baby," or "Punched-and-Flight-of-Stairs Baby". How can you be outraged due to your associates' nonchalance when you disregard the child...the only thing important in this entire situation.

 
Pextor 2009-03-21 03:42:39 PM  
deadapostle, the phrase "and then it gets weird" is seen all the time on Fark, almost enough to be a meme.

 
RevMercutio [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 03:48:55 PM  
Zumaki: How is babby flushed?

Came for this. Leaving satisfied.

 
One Bad Apple 2009-03-21 04:01:47 PM  
peterskoot: whats black, blue and orange and lays at the bottom of a pool?
a baby with slashed floaties.
whats pink red and orange and at the top of the pool?
floaties with a slashed baby


What is red and bubblely and scratches glass ?

Baby in a microwave

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 04:04:56 PM  
Yes, clearly Fark invented that and it hasn't been around for decades.

Hey I have an idea, let's patent it, bet no one has tried that yet.

 
anfrind 2009-03-21 04:07:40 PM  
Vangor: Did anyone else question her outrage when she began to refer to the child as "Wonderbread Baby"? Imagine this naming method, "Bottle-of-Clorox Baby," or "Punched-and-Flight-of-Stairs Baby". How can you be outraged due to your associates' nonchalance when you disregard the child...the only thing important in this entire situation.

What would you refer to the baby as? If the mother tried to flush him down the toilet, I doubt she'd have gone to the trouble of choosing a name for him.

 
LukeA 2009-03-21 04:09:22 PM  
Klippoklondike: Go ahead and try to flush me biatch

WTF? Why is that baby left handed but has the rifle on the right shoulder?

 
Young Lukas 2009-03-21 04:13:32 PM  
Glad to see the article also follows in the time-old Fark tradition of stating all the weird things before claiming it gets weird when the rest is really quite reasonable or uninteresting in comparison.

 
martid4 [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 04:13:46 PM  
Will babby blend?

 
kennydra [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 04:14:01 PM  
all you naysayers don't know for sure she wasn't using one of these toilets (pop)

actually, she probably wasn't, otherwise that baby would be going through water treatment right now.

 
AkaranD 2009-03-21 04:15:26 PM  
This is why social services workers scare the shiat out of me.

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-03-21 04:20:08 PM  
LukeA: Klippoklondike: Go ahead and try to flush me biatch

WTF? Why is that baby left handed but has the rifle on the right shoulder?


It's pulling the Trig

 
SonOfSpam 2009-03-21 04:20:11 PM  
Zumaki: How is babby flushed?

How girl end pragnent?

 
mathmonkey 2009-03-21 04:21:24 PM  
farkingatwork: YouPeopleAreCrazy: FTA:
Looking back on it, I can see that what filled me with anger and despair was not the fact that a teenager had tried to kill her baby. Mental illness and desperation are often a lethal combination. What filled me with despair was that seemingly sane people were discussing whether or not flushing a baby down the toilet was acceptable, as if the conclusion might be in doubt.

We are so screwed as a species.

All we need to do is have a religion test. Believe in religion/invisible sky wizards? Remove said individual's existence or place them in a place with padded rooms. Would solve a lot of problems right there.

Next, all we have to do is ask people controversial and difficult to answer questions with no right answer in a reasoned debate. Do they come up with any logical response or is it purely "this is what is, because I say so!" even after being given time to calm down. Remove said individual's existence from society, padded room or sent back to school until they can pass philosophy.

This would solve so many problems.


www.google.com

 
bingo the psych-o 2009-03-21 04:22:58 PM  
Michael_Mythix: AR55: CtrlAltDelete: Flushing a baby down a toilet?! Even a 7-week premature baby is going to weigh more than a couple pounds; and with today's water-saving 1.6 gallon single flush standard, it's just not going to happen. You need to chop it up first.

I find that if you let it sit for a few hours in the toilet it will crumble apart when you flush.

What makes me sick this this blatant waste of food.


/I want my baby back, baby back.....
//what's the differance between an abortion and sand??!?
///You can gargle with sand.


A whole baby? That's really something you do for Thanksgiving.

 
NCP69 2009-03-21 04:24:21 PM  
Ablejack: Whenever I have a BM, I find enclosing it in a bread bag doesn't facilitate flushing. When will I ever learn?


how long does it take for an african american woman to have a BM?


nine months

 
Vangor [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-21 04:26:03 PM  
anfrind: What would you refer to the baby as?

You did a simple job with "the baby" just as I used "the child"; wouldn't you agree? I am not asking for a name.

 
Cyborg77 2009-03-21 04:30:18 PM  
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: LukeA: Klippoklondike: Go ahead and try to flush me biatch

WTF? Why is that baby left handed but has the rifle on the right shoulder?

It's pulling the Trig


Never go full retard.

 
rampagingturtle 2009-03-21 04:35:51 PM  
Vangor: Did anyone else question her outrage when she began to refer to the child as "Wonderbread Baby"? Imagine this naming method, "Bottle-of-Clorox Baby," or "Punched-and-Flight-of-Stairs Baby". How can you be outraged due to your associates' nonchalance when you disregard the child...the only thing important in this entire situation.

I didn't, but I grew up with a paramedic for a mom. Once you've spent enough time having to deal with humanity's worst-case scenarios you either develop the capacity to laugh at horribly, horribly inappropriate things or you scream, babble incoherently and slit your wrists.

 
anfrind 2009-03-21 04:38:10 PM  
Vangor: anfrind: What would you refer to the baby as?

You did a simple job with "the baby" just as I used "the child"; wouldn't you agree? I am not asking for a name.


If I read it correctly, the author of the article had been involved in multiple incidents like this one, involving other nameless babies (and if they did have names, I doubt she'd have wanted to use them in print). It's hard to tell them apart if you refer to all of them as "the baby" or "the child" (and it's practically impossible in print).

 
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